Life
5 Simple Tips to Help You Become Great at Anything

Reading over 70 business and self-help books, traveling all around Europe teaching people soft skills like storytelling and self-awareness, has shown me certain patterns on how to become great at anything. These things sometimes hide in plain sight but we are too distracted to see them. So we skip them, day-in and day-out we keep plowing through, not knowing if the things we are doing are making us any better.
That’s why I will share the patterns I learned on the ground through personal experience and from the best business and self-help books out there. If you follow these tips, success will take care of itself.
1. The Score will take care of itself
John Wooden is one of the most decorated trainers in the history of NCAA. He won 10 national championships in the span of 12 years, including seven in a row. The one thing he never mentioned was the score. He was all about the process.
Of course, everyone who played for him knew that they were playing basketball and that they wanted to win. But the focus was always on the process of playing the game as best as possible. He would often say that the score takes care of itself (a phrase which later described Bill Walsh, another great trainer).
When you create your goal, put it aside and focus on the process that will get you there. If you work the process, the score will literally take care of itself. You can do this through daily habits.
2. Be, don’t do
The change in your life doesn’t start with you doing something, it starts with your mindset. You first need to become that to be able to do that. Here is an example. If you are a smoker and you want to quit smoking, you will fail if you take the approach of “I am quitting cigars.”
This doesn’t make a fundamental shift in your personality. The actions that we do stem from the perception of who we are. So for us to change our actions, we need to first change our beliefs about that or we will inherently self-sabotage ourselves.
The proper way to deal with this is to say “I’m a non-smoker.” This changes your entire belief about yourself as a person. “I’m a healthy person” vs. “I am going to the gym”. “I’m a reader” vs “I read books”. The examples are endless.
3. You will not rise to the level of your expectations, but fall to the level of your practice
You know in action movies when the main character suddenly gets a power-up through yelling and screaming and comes through with an impossible action? Well, that’s a Hollywood movie. In real life, we do not rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our practice. So the more (and better) you practice, the better you will perform.
Break down the skill which you want to learn into small sub-sets of skills and learn each and every one of those. If you focus on those small parts and improve them, you will become better in the overall skill. This is called deliberate practice.
4. Play the long game
There is a quote by Charlie Munger which goes “No matter what you do, a woman still needs nine months to give birth to a child.” What this means is that sometimes things just need time to catch momentum and start working.
I ran a blog for two years already and it took me a year and a half to cross even 20,000 readers. But in the last six months, I did three times that. Most great things take time to start functioning properly. So prepare for the long game because the biggest returns come at the end of the line.
“I’m not concerned with noise because I’m playing the long game.” – Jay Z
5. Learn daily
If you want to make better decisions, live a more fulfilled life and stay relevant with your skills, you need to learn daily. What better way to do this than to read books and borrow the wisdom (and skills) of the masters that came before us.
There are plenty of mistakes I avoided because of books and plenty of great decisions that I made because of them. All of this comes from the habit of learning daily, a mere reading of 20 pages of a book a day. If you stay hungry for knowledge, you will become (and stay) great at anything you do.
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
Life
3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning
we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)
Life
Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness
Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)
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