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5 Personal Ground Rules for Navigating Today’s New Normal

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On every continent across the globe, we have experienced unparalleled turbulence this year. In practically every which way, we have been challenged more than we ever thought possible. Most of us have had to adopt different ways of managing the stress that comes with a whirlwind of change. As we head into a New Year, there is a feeling of resilience that is starting to build. 

Having been through a battlefield unlike any other, many of us are building upon our trusted toolkits that have helped us navigate the unprecedented complexities of 2020. In looking back at the lessons 2020 has taught us, there are five significant things that stand out which pertain to building the resilience we are craving. These five elements have been essential to individuals from all walks of life and will prove to be imperative as we move forward into a forever changed world.

Consider these five things in order to bolster your resilience for 2021 and beyond:

1. Have compassion with yourself

Oftentimes we are quick to have compassion with others, but slow to have it with ourselves. It’s time to flip the script. While we all may be our own worst critics, what we need most is to embrace self-love and have acceptance for where we are at. 

Instead of setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves – which literally sets us up for failure – define what success for each day looks like for you. And be okay with the fact that each day may look a little different. Our global pandemic has completely upended our daily life, so having grace for yourself in a world that can change at a moment’s notice is vital.

2. Implement the 5 minute rule

It may sound like a silly question but – when was the last time you checked in with yourself? Acknowledging how you are feeling – and how that may impact your interactions with others – is a huge step in taking charge of your day. Set aside at least 5 minutes (more if you can!) to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling, consider why you are feeling that way, and define what you need. 

You are non-negotiable so taking care of yourself is paramount – particularly in a highly stressed global climate. Try journaling to set your intentions, or merely find a quiet space to enjoy tea or coffee and be solo with your thoughts. That 5, 10 or 15 minute investment can have a powerful impact on your day.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

3. Define a more optimal schedule

Chances are your schedule is now vastly different than it was in January 2020. Your working hours, fitness routine, along with interactions with friends and family may be different. So trying to stick to a schedule that was designed to work hand in hand with lifestyle components that have drastically shifted does not make dollars or sense. Take a step back and consider how you can optimize your day to day obligations and functions to help you get the most out of each day now. 

4. Practice gratitude daily

Practicing gratitude every day helps to frame our perspective through a lens of positivity. We have many negative external factors surrounding our daily life, so there’s no need to create more stress within our own realm by choosing to have a negatively impacted mindset from the start. Begin each day by considering what you are grateful for and watch how your mood is elevated. This simple step has the greatest impact on setting many of us up for success each day. 

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar

5. Connect – not just online

Many of us are not spending as much time as we’d like being social in person due to the pandemic, which can be challenging. This can impart feelings of loneliness and have an impact on our mental health. 

As humans we are designed to connect – and the human connection can be true soul food for all of us. So, instead of feeling isolated at home or stuck online – pick-up the phone! Call your friends and family to have those heartfelt chats over the phone where you can hear their voice. For those of us who love a good FaceTime, Skype or ZOOM chat – jump online to virtually spend time together. We may not be able to be together in person, but that does not mean we can’t connect. Also, remember to reach out to people who you may not have heard from recently. They may need an inspired voice like yours to motivate them.

As an entrepreneur, mother, wife, friend and community member, I have seen first-hand how important resilience can be. I also know that building resistance requires an active practice. This means adopting certain behaviors and approaches in a disciplined fashion to work regularly towards becoming “fire-proof,” aka resilient. As we head into a bold New Year that may be full of unexpected twists and turns, upping the ante on your ability to be resilient will be a wise investment. Don’t roll the dice, double down on your resilience. 

What’s one positive way your life has changed throughout the pandemic? Share your stories with us below!

Entrepreneur Pam Scamardo is the Founder of The C.R.E.A.T.E Wealth Network – the #1 free educational resource for commercial real estate investing. Officially “retired”, Pam is a mother and wife who discovered the benefits of passive income after realizing she did not need to be a millionaire to begin investing in commercial real estate. An aerospace engineer by trade, having been employed by Lockheed Martin, Boeing and UTC Aerospace, Pam made a career pivot almost 10 years ago and founded her first company TPK Properties. The organization has successfully syndicated properties for investors in California, Arizona, Oregon and Washington with the current portfolio valued at over six million dollars. She is passionate about helping others achieve “job optional” status through commercial real estate investing and wants to empower men and women along their journey to financial freedom.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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