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5 Important Things Nobody Tells You About Finding Your Calling

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Self-development books and personal growth blogs will scream at you to find your calling. “Do what you love,” they say. “Do what you’re passionate about,” they shout. “Follow your purpose,” they write.

They tell you to do what you love and what brings you joy. They tell you to find work that brings you alive. They ask you to do work that doesn’t feel like work – jump out bed every day – love your Mondays.

Yet, much of this advice stems from unrealistic thinking without concrete steps to guide you. Quitting your job and following your passion is a one-way ticket back home to your parents’ penthouse suite – or the basement, whatever the case may be.

Here’s 5 things the bloggers, career coaches and experts don’t tell you:

1. You don’t have to quit your job to find your calling

You can discover your calling while you’re in a job. More than likely, you’ll run into your calling when you’re doing work for a paycheck. In your day-to-day work, different interests will pull at you. You’ll stumble upon creative challenges and discover work you’re passionate about.

Spend your time focused on your job and you’ll either stumble into your passion or take inspiration from something that will lead to your calling. If you discover your calling, you can work on it before work, during lunch and over the weekends.

“To me, the American Dream is being able to follow your own personal calling. To be able to do what you want to do is incredible freedom.” – Maya Lin

2. You find your calling by taking action

You can’t sit back and theorize about what your calling is in the world. You find your calling by doing something: taking classes, talking to mentors and trying out a variety of jobs.

If you think something is your calling, the only way to do it is to try it. Don’t hypothesize and theorize about whether you were meant to do it. Start doing it and see where it takes you.

 

3. Not knowing what you want in your calling is critical to finding your calling

When you try new things and hate them, you still win. If you have no idea what your calling is, write down a list of everything you’ve done that’s NOT your calling.

Knowing what your calling isn’t is just as helpful as knowing what your calling is. You can eliminate, narrow down and see what’s on the table. Move away from what isn’t your calling and you’ll find yourself nearing your calling every day.

 

4. Your life’s pains and trials carry the seeds of your calling

Think back to your life’s biggest pains and struggles. For me, that’s an easy one: my divorce. For you, it may be a breakup, a business failure or the passing of a loved one. A seed of your calling planted itself in each defeat you’ve encountered in your life.

During your most difficult hours, you had a glimpse into your soul and the deepest life questions. During this time, you likely discovered – or found inspiration to reflect on – your calling.

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” –  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

5. Your calling in life will require that you use your gifts

Do you know what your gift in life is? We each have a gift. You have one too, no matter what you think. You simply refuse to admit that your talent, ability or ease in doing something is a gift. Talking to people is a gift, helping people is a gift, your great smile is a gift.

Acknowledge your gift and know that your calling will require you to use your gift. If you can’t figure out your calling, figure out what your gift is. Then see how you could use your gift to make a bigger impact on the world.

Have you found out your calling? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

 

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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