Life
4 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Your Limits and Tackle Negative Thinking
We can at times feel overwhelmed by the barriers in front of us. Whether those challenges come from our own faults and oversights, or from the resistance of others, they present a huge frustration, not easily overborne. The only element that we can control, is our outlook. It is necessary to shift our mindset in order to work through frustration and accomplish our goals.
The following are four ways to help you counteract negative thinking:
1. Be present
Too often we get off-track by focusing on the next step or what we should have done at the prior step. Save tomorrows worries for tomorrow, and focus on completing the task before you, so that you might inch closer to your goals.
It may help to gamify your life by looking at successive steps as levels to be completed in an overall objective or mission. You don’t beat yourself up for not slaying the dragon two attempts ago–you use your knowledge of the location and previous position of barriers to help fortify you at the next turn.
You can focus on presence by asking yourself what you are resolved to do today. Breathing and meditating are aids to focus your mind on what currently exists. You can meditate and reflect to center yourself, and focus on what’s happening now.
Asking yourself about today, limits your focus to the present, so that you don’t waste time fretting about the past or preoccupying yourself about a future for which you know nothing.
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa
2. Stop focusing on conditional statements
Seneca, Stoic and Roman statesman said, “Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.” If you are focusing on what you are missing, what other people are doing, or how much success you would have if X would happen, it is for naught. You are placing the focus on how certain conditions would make your life great, instead of what you can do. While it’s good to have goals, this is not the same thing.
Focus on what you can control. By focusing on conditions that don’t exist and won’t materialize magically, you are effectively daydreaming instead of actually taking the steps to accomplish what you want. When you examine what is within your reach, you can effectively guide yourself forward.
A good way to wake yourself from the reverie of conditional thinking, is to ask, “can I control this?” If so, do what you need to–effectively and without haste. If you cannot control something, then take action on the items within your reach, and forget about everything beyond it.
3. Recognize opportunities when they present themselves as challenges
Thomas Edison said “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” This is not to say that we are averse to hard work, but that our minds miss opportunity because we equate it with obstacle.
When an obstacle arises, sometimes our immediate reaction is to recede within ourselves because we cannot come up with a plan to immediately get past it. We might hesitate, and the longer we take to analyze or look at the challenge, the bigger it becomes.
Instead of evaluating our best methods or direct approaches to the challenge, we allow overwhelm to set in, and we create a greater distance between our problem and our ability to solve it. When this happens, we can first, call it an opportunity instead of a challenge, problem or obstacle.
We can then ask ourselves what scares us about this opportunity. Once we have identified our perceived challenges (usually our notions about our own shortcomings), we can find ways to communicate those challenges and search for help.
For example, if you have a question about your ability to pursue your new fitness goals, you might ask a friend who did something similar what they did to take advantage of that opportunity. You might also find an online community of people who are faced with the same set of circumstances, and discover a host of potential approaches you had not previously considered.
If all else fails, you can research your specific circumstances and seek answers from the gatekeepers. If the response is not one you want to hear, you can use that for insight into future approaches (in other words–don’t give up because it might be as simple as shifting your attitude or approach).
If it doesn’t work out, in the end, you have an experience that has helped fortify and prepare you for other opportunities. Howard Marks, co-founder of Oaktree Capital, and author of The Most Important Thing, echoes this sentiment when he said “Experience is what you got when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
“In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact.” – Les Brown
4. Doggedly pursue your goals
Once you have identified and outlined your goals, you must unhesitatingly place your focus on pursuing them. When you get rejected, remind yourself that it builds your resilience. When you do not receive a response at all, focus on improving from your last effort. When you have no idea why it isn’t working, evaluate whether your goal truly aligns with what you want from your life, and if it does, continue your relentless pursuit.
Do not be discouraged by a no today, because tomorrow, or 435 tomorrow’s later might await the yes you need in order to proceed with fulfilling your commitment to your life’s work. This is easier said than done. In that vein create a daily reminder for yourself, that encourages you to continue pursuit of your efforts.
What other ways do you stop yourself from obsessing over your limits? Leave your thoughts below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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Why Daily Rituals Matter
Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)
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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)
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