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4 Steps To Making Yourself A Better Person

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We all experience them, setbacks. Professionally, within relationships, when trying to make ourselves a better person. The experience of things either not going as planned or failing as a whole.  It’s not a good feeling, and it can even keep us from moving forward in our lives in many ways.

But through a simple shift in how you handle a setback no matter if it’s a large or small set back, can change many things. You might not always be able to recover or fix what got you to where you are, but with a few simple steps you can make things better moving forward.

Here are the four steps on how to overcome a setback while making yourself a better person:

1. Let yourself experience the negative of the situation

Negative emotions and experiences often get a bad rap. It’s natural to want to maintain or obtain the natural high that our positive emotions give us and eliminate the negative emotions we feel. However, our negative emotions have a very real need in our lives. Our negative emotions inform us of when something (or someone) in our environment might need more attention, they help us build empathy as well as better connect with others.

Putting yourself in and staying in a negative state isn’t healthy, but allowing yourself to feel a very natural and normal part of something (the good and the bad) is the first to understanding what it means to you and your perspective on life. If you don’t allow yourself to have those feelings and process them during a setback, you won’t know how to move past them in the future. This is the real strength, understanding your negative emotions.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison

2. Give yourself some easy wins

If it’s important to let yourself experience the negative side of things, what do you do when it’s time to move past a setback or negative experience, but you can’t? Change your focus and give yourself some easy wins. Giving yourself some easy wins is different than simply doing something that makes you feel happy. It’s focusing on doing something that makes you feel as if you have accomplished something (even if it’s just a little bit).

This could be anything from cleaning up around the house, beating a level in a video game, or even volunteering. The idea is to do something with an end goal that’s in sight, and you can easily reach. Make it a little bit of a challenge, of course, but give yourself a short term win.Giving yourself an easy win allows you to think of something more positive and get some of those feel good hormones going in your brain, making it easier to move past a setback.

 

3. Look at what didn’t work

It’s not the winning that teaches you how to be resilient. It’s the setback. It’s the loss. – Beth Brooke It’s important not to look at your setbacks as if they are ultimate failures, but instead just a learning experience. You might not have the same opportunity available to you immediately, or ever, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t lessons to be learned.

If we as humans are anything, we are an accumulation of our experiences at any one moment. So taking the time to look at those experiences, especially when we have had setbacks, to learn from them is priceless. You not only open up the opportunity to avoid the same negative experience in the future but to learn more about yourself.

 

4. Make a plan and give it another go

The biggest hurdle in dealing with a setback is giving things another go. But if you don’t (especially right away) it’s likely you won’t. Getting clear on what didn’t work is great, but what good is that if you don’t give things another try? The difficult part might be that circumstances aren’t going to be the same as before, and that’s okay.

That’s why it’s important to make a plan and be aware of how things have changed. By looking at new circumstances, understanding how it changes things, and then also why and what failed before you can create a plan of action or intention to give yourself a better outcome in the future.

“It’s not the winning that teaches you how to be resilient. It’s the setback. It’s the loss.” – Beth Brooke

Handling any setback isn’t easy, it can hurt emotionally in many different ways. It brings forward many feelings of failure and highlights some of the worst parts of ourselves. It’s not an easy thing to move on from the past, but when you take the time and effort to treat it as a learning experience instead, that setback just might be the lesson you needed to experience something great. As long as you allow yourself.

How have you overcome a setback? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

After getting laid off from her IT job in Corporate America in 2009, she ventured out into the online world and started her own business as a single mother of two. Now she is the CEO of a successful American-based Virtual Assistant company My Virtual Little Helper that employs people across America to help business owners and online entrepreneurs get more done. She is on a mission to help others do what she has done; build a career that helps others accomplish more while still having time for those that matter most. Join her at her website: Amanda Mock

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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