Connect with us

Life

4 Reasons to Stop Waiting for Permission

Published

on

Making big changes and chasing dreams is hard work. It’s actually easier to coast through a “good enough” life. The problem is that we only get one life to live, and living a life of regret shouldn’t be YOUR option.

Too often, we think all the stars have to align before we can chase our true passion. We think that we have to be at a certain point, or that the circumstances have to be just right. We are constantly waiting for permission.

For 12 years I waited for permission to lose weight, quit a job I hated and move our family from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to our dream destination of Maui, Hawaii. The time I waited for permission sucked the life out of me.
In 2011, I realized that permission would never come, and if I wanted anything to happen, I was going to have to be the one to make it happen on my own. I had to take action.

It took three years and more of me than I thought was possible, but I lost 170 pounds, quit a terrible job, and moved our family to Maui, Hawaii. We’ve been here for 10 months and it’s far surpassed our expectations. I learned to stop waiting and start living.

We wait and wait, and those perfect circumstances never fall into place. Before we know it, life has already passed us by. We wait for approval from people who think they have our best interest at heart—we’re crushed when it never comes. We miss the amazing life that could be ours while we wait for permission.

Here are four reasons why we need to stop waiting for permission and chase dreams that too many people consider “impossible.”

 

1. We already know what it takes to achieve success

In the past, information was hard to come by—it wasn’t cost effective either. Today, the Internet and social media have made information abundant and free. No longer do we have to wait to learn what it takes to achieve our success. YouTube alone has more answers than we’ll be able to comprehend and implement.

If there’s anything you want to learn, the information is readily available. We don’t have to wait for permission or knowledge; we can research and take action. We can be the master of our destiny and create our own success.

 

2. We have amazing tools and technology

Remember how hard it was to get a book published a few years ago?

Remember when you had to send checks and money orders for payment for products and services?

Today, we can self-publish a book in minutes.

Today, we have Paypal and Stripe to take payments online instantly.

Social media and the Internet have opened doors that were previously closed by gatekeepers. We don’t have to wait. We can figure out exactly what we need to make progress from the comfort of our home.

 

John Assaraf Quote
 

3. We can have a solid support system

In the past, we tried to prove we could do this alone. We tried to chase big dreams and success, and pick ourselves up when things didn’t go as planned. Reaching out for help was considered a sign of weakness.

Today, we can have support in many ways and it’s considered a smart thing to do. Whether it’s family or a close friend, you can have that shoulder to cry on when things don’t go as planned.

Today, we can join or form mastermind groups that give us accountability and support with fellow dream chasers who are all over the world. We don’t have to do this all alone.

 

4. Life is too damn short

At the end of your life you’ll regret trying to play it safe. You won’t remember all the stuff you had; you’ll remember your experiences. Those experiences will be filled with amazing moments or things you regret.

When you wait for permission, you squander your most precious resource: your time.

My father died unexpectedly at 54. The two weeks before he died all he could talk about were his regrets. He’s gone now. He died too young and unable to do something about the things he regretted in his life.

It doesn’t have to take a death in your life for you to realize how quickly life goes by. You can probably remember what seemed like yesterday, but was years ago. Life is short. We only get one chance to make it count.

 

Here’s the biggest thing to understand: no one will ever give you permission. Your doubt and fear will never give you permission. If you’re going to experience success in your life, you have to step outside of your comfort zone and take action.

It’s going to be hard. It’s not going to happen overnight. It’s going to be harder than seems necessary, but your dream is possible. More than that, once you reach your success, you’ll realize the struggle was worth it.

Stop waiting to claim the life you truly deserve. The stars will never be perfectly aligned, but that’s OK. This is your journey and the bumps and bruise make it special. They teach you to appreciate what you have.

Are you waiting for permission?

 

Kimanzi Constable is an author of four books and a writer whose articles have been published in Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, Business Insider, SUCCESS Magazine, NBC, CBS, FOX, and 80 other publications and magazines. He is the co-founder of Results Global Impact Consulting and Senior Editor at The Good Men Project. Learn more and get a free guide at kconstable.com.

Advertisement
11 Comments

11 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

Published

on

Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Continue Reading

Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

Published

on

By

what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

Published

on

sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

Published

on

How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending