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3 Ways You Can Become Addicted to Personal Growth

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It’s 5am and your alarm is ringing. Over a period of three hours, you’ve reset it 8 times. It’s 9am and you are waking up, already discouraged and upset with yourself that you are waking up late; 58th day in a row. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit, but many of us deal with this nonsense. You start to question yourself and your purpose. Why are others driven more than you? How do they become obsessed with progress and personal growth?

Just recently I received an email from one of my readers. He seemed pretty upset and demotivated at the same time. He is trying to work hard, he wants to wake up early every morning to study his tail off and build his career, but his blueprint of what he should do doesn’t match what he is actually doing (waking up late without getting things done).

Being pumped up every morning and feeling driven is a state of mind we all need to develop. No one here is a loser, all we need to do is create a particular set of habits and activities.

Here are 3 ways you can become addicted to your personal growth and create what I call a “hunger drive”:

1. Always look beyond impossible

The true belief comes from seeing things which you can’t physically see. Stop limiting yourself to what you think is possible because you are wasting your time. There is more than enough proof that there are no limits when it comes to human potential.

Let’s say you are broke, and you just ended a relationship which wasn’t right for you. If you believe what you see, how can you ever get excited? It may suck now but remember that your present doesn’t define your future.

Believing that things are impossible isn’t real. It is a state of mind and a feeling; a delusion which you can merely change by changing your perspective. Instead of seeing blocks, ask yourself, “what if it’s possible?” With this simple question, you will begin to see opportunities which allow you to grow and move forward. By switching to this simple question, you will direct your subconscious mind to focus on achievements instead of failures.

“No one gets very far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day.” – Elbert Hubbard

2. Focus on your progress

One of the best lessons I’ve learned from Tony Robbins was that progress equals happiness. It didn’t just stick with me because Tony said it. You can feel fulfilled and excited the most when you take action and see results, no matter how small they may be.

This is a perfect answer to any of you asking why some people are happier and more driven than others. It is progress. It is the beauty of moving forward that fires you up. If you sit in your room, daydreaming all day long but don’t take the required action, you will lose motivation.

Let’s say you want to lose weight. If you are trying to find the best gym, buy cool fitness clothing, waiting for your direct deposit to hit your bank so you can buy an expensive gym membership for VIP (so you feel more committed), forget about it. Put your sneakers on, get out and run for 30 minutes. It means you’ve started. It means you are making progress.

3. Continually ask yourself “what can I lose?”

If you aren’t satisfied with life, what can you possibly lose by changing your life and putting in the extra work to embrace your personal growth? Time will always be the same, whether you are sitting in the corner, complaining about your situation or doing something about it. Same time, same effort.

We fear change. But I must tell you, once you get hungry and are driven by your goals and you discover the power of personal growth, this state of mind will become the best and the most rewarded addiction in your life. It will make you question everything. It will change your beliefs entirely on what life is truly about.

“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there’s really nothing to lose.” – Jewel

You can make your life a masterpiece but all you need is a proper mindset. Healthy personal growth is one of the happiest journeys you can set yourself on, and it is up to you whether you take it or leave it. Become obsessed with yourself, who you are and what you want. Only by becoming more can you give more to others which after all, is the purpose of life.

What are some ways you make sure you are growing everyday? Leave your thoughts below!

Silvia committed her life to many things but one of them is helping people in turning their pain into power and teach them how to find benefits in the most difficult events of their lives. She is a motivational speaker and founder of CourageWithinYou platform.  She has written well over 200 articles oriented on personal development, success, and healthy mental growth. You can connect with her on Facebook or on her personal website www.silviaturon.com.

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11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. BK

    Jun 11, 2018 at 5:50 am

    Great and useful tips, thanks so much for the article.

    Although I believe that the fear of success itself is also an obstacle for many people on their way to personal growth. People are scared to leave their comfort zone and anxious about how their life might change if they do achieve personal growth.

    So sometimes additionally to asking oneself “what can I lose?” it is, in my opinion, also important to ask “what can I gain?” to remind oneself that there is so much you can achieve in your lifetime than where you are right now.

    But thank you again for this great article, always great to discover new inspirational texts like this one.

  2. Silvia Turonova

    Feb 6, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Hello, Kate, Your comment made me smile because I can picture myself going to bed frustrated and upset when I haven’t done all the things I planned. And to be honest, it was painful so I find your way of motivation pretty useful and effective. Pain always causes change so if we feel pain from not making a progress, all we can do is to work toward that progress. gGreat advice. Thanks for sharing, I believe it helped many people who read it, including myself.

  3. Silvia Turonova

    Feb 6, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    Hello, Joel. Life would be much easier and better if more people ask themselves this question. I agree that it is an exciting idea to just think about and I hope we all are going to spread the word and show others that there aren’t limits. It isn’t only this one question but compelling questions, in general, can help resolve many problems and we become more open-minded. I appreciate you taking time and sharing your point of view.

  4. Joel

    Feb 3, 2017 at 2:32 am

    Silvia,

    Can you imagine how different the world would be if each of us asked “What can I lose?” or “What do I have to lose?”

    We have come so far in our existence but if more would push the boundaries, I can’t help but think of what could be.

    Joel

  5. Joel

    Feb 2, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Silvia,

    Can you imagine a world that continually asked the questions, “What can I lose?” Just thinking about it gives me the chills.

    Not that I discredit how far we as human beings have come, but how much farther could we be if we all thought that way?

  6. Kate

    Feb 1, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Great advice. When I need to motivate myself, I just do a side by side comparison of the icky way I feel when I go to bed, knowing that I didn’t work toward making progress on my goals, versus the satisfied feeling I get when I did make progress, however small. Palpable reminders of why you do what you do are usually more effective than abstract ones.

  7. Silvia Turonova

    Jan 31, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    Hello, Nick. I agree. We should focus more on what we do well in life. Every progress is progress, the size doesn’t matter. I am happy you liked this article and thank you for a compliment.

  8. Nick Grimshawe

    Jan 30, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    I love these three simple tips, especially the one about focusing on your progress no matter how small. Too often the focus is on the progress we are not making.

    Nick

  9. Pospi O Otuson

    Jan 28, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Thanks Alot

  10. Silvia Turonova

    Jan 28, 2017 at 12:33 am

    Hello Pospi, thanks a lot for such generous words. You just made my day with your comment. You know, it’s not only the entrepreneurial world but life in general. If you master personal growth, you basically master life. I am very glad you enjoyed these few little tips and wish you all the best in life.

  11. Pospi O Otuson

    Jan 27, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    This are some great tips that will help motivated young entrepreneur to be addicted to their personal growth. Thanks for sharing. Its indeed helpful

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Life

9 Personal Growth Lessons I Learned From Being Bullied

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Wherever I went, bullying seemed to follow me. Whether it was school, work or even family, I could never seem to find any kind of escape. For years, I was stuck in the victim mindset, constantly asking myself what I did to deserve this kind of behaviour towards me. I decided to turn my struggle into a personal growth strategy to help others who might be silently struggling with what I did.

Here are some of the key personal growth lessons I learnt from my harrowing experiences:

1. Be the victim

Be the victim but put an early as possible expiration date on this. Realise that it is okay to feel sorry for yourself; it is okay to validate yourself by reinforcing the fact that you didn’t deserve what happened to you. This will help you give yourself the compassion that you need in that moment. Recognition of the hurt and validation are the first steps towards starting the healing process, but the key is not to hang around there for too long otherwise you will be stuck with a victim mentality.

2. Why?

This is a question that is often asked – why did this happen to me? Were the stars misaligned or is this karma for sneaking the last doughnut from the party? Rather than getting bogged down analysing why you went through the harrowing experience, focus on what you learnt from the experience. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as finding your voice and setting boundaries. Every difficult situation offers an opportunity to learn.

3. Focus on the lesson, not on the pain

Whenever faced with a tough situation, ask yourself, “What am I learning from this?” Often, when drowning in dire circumstances, we cannot see light and we fear that any light might be an oncoming train. The best way to deal with this fear and overwhelm is to refocus your thoughts. Oftentimes, the lesson falls under one of the following categories: perseverance, patience, consistency and my personal favourite – staying true to who you are.

4. Control the controllable

Within every difficult situation, there are always factors you can control: your responses, your disposition and your actions. Using what you can control, redirect your energy on what you CAN do instead of what you can’t do. Sometimes, what you can do is simply getting through your day and giving everything you can. This helps in building self-confidence and self-esteem.

“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli

5. You do you

It is a normal human desire to be liked by those around us. Avoid trying to change who you are based on what others say about you. It is very tempting to do this because we all want to feel accepted and want to feel that we belong. The more you do you, the more you will attract people who love you for the “real” you.

6. It is not about you

When people criticize you incessantly, recognise that they are battling their own demons and they are easily triggered. You are not the real reason for their hurtful behaviour, they are filled with fear, anger and hurt which they vent out to others. You can only give what you have and if fear, anger and hurt is all you have, it is the only place from which you will function.

7. You have the power to choose

It is easy to forget that we always have the power of our choices and decisions, while our circumstances may be overwhelming, we can still make wise choices so as not to become victims of our circumstances. We should never forget this power as this is what keeps us afloat and breathing when caught in a flood of difficulties.

8. Revenge is not the answer

While it is perfectly normal and human to wish revenge on those who have hurt us, it is crucial to note that what we wish upon others, mirrors back to us. Wishing your culprits to battle incessant sneezing while stuck in traffic controlling explosive diarrhea might give a moment of satisfaction, but is this something you are willing to risk mirroring back to you? I certainly am not. Put quite simply – negativity breeds negativity while positivity breeds positivity. Remember, you have the power to choose.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

9. Forgive

Don’t gasp so loudly. Yes, forgive those who have hurt you. Why? It definitely doesn’t absolve them of the hurt they caused you, but it releases you from the chains of negativity that are binding and rooting you in place preventing you from moving on. How do you forgive? Ask whatever higher power you believe in to filter those who have hurt you out of your life, sending them blessings and healing wherever they may need it in their lives while also blessing over positive outcomes for all of you.

I have used this technique personally and I swear by it. Sending blessings and healing while asking for positive outcomes, results in all these wonderful things happening to you as well. Giving what you have mirrors back to you. You have the power to forgive, let go and move on. This is a choice that you also happen to have the power to choose.

The next time you feel stuck and overwhelmed by your circumstances, revisit these personal growth lessons and apply them to your unique situation. You will be glad that you did.


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Life

6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed

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Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict. (more…)

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Life

How to Move Forward When All Seems Lost

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A few weeks ago, the relationship of my venture with a long-term client turned rocky. Losing them would mean a huge loss for my business, but it appeared like that’s where we were headed. My mind raced with unpleasant thoughts. Maybe the client had figured out that I couldn’t lead my team well. Maybe I was not good enough to be an entrepreneur. Maybe I was not good enough to do anything.

Why was the world so unfair?! Within moments, my anxiety had shot through the roof and my heart was racing faster than an F1 car engine. But I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

Why Problems Overwhelm Us

As human beings, we’re good at solving problems, so they shouldn’t stress us out. Yet, they do just that. Why?

Consider some of these situations in life. When a relationship is headed for troubled waters, we wonder whether our partner loves us anymore. Our mind unearths memories of when we got dumped or rejected. We blame ourselves for falling for the wrong people and tell ourselves that we’re not worth receiving love.

How do you think the relationship will steer after that? If we cannot stick to a diet, we think of other times when we gave up. We remember what people said about things that we couldn’t do and ask ourselves, “were they right?” We tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to succeed at anything.

Do you think we’ll find the grit to stick to the diet after this? So here we are… thinking we’re not good enough to be entrepreneurs, to be loved, to get promoted, or to achieve our personal goals. Notice a pattern yet? We move in the wrong direction. The destination is to achieve the goal. And unless we stop giving into emotions and start addressing situations, we’ll keep failing to get there.

Negative emotions (and even extremely positive ones) blur our vision. The more we focus on them, the deeper we go into how we feel. We either get angry because things aren’t the way we want them to be, or get paralyzed by the fear of the worst possible outcome. This means we pull away from the one thing we must do to set things right — take action.

“If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie

How to Take Action in the Face of Problems

Most human beings are good at solving problems. Where we get blindsided is at diagnosing the right problem. To diagnose the right problem, we must address the situation instead of emotions. We must see things for what they are, collect facts on what we’re worrying about, and then ask ourselves, “What should I do next?”

In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, Dale Carnegie wrote: “Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts.”

To address the tricky situation with my client, I took the following three steps:

1. First, I acknowledged the feeling

Solving a problem doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel because it reveals the path, but domesticating your emotions is more important. I acknowledged how I felt by saying, “I feel anxious because the client might not want to work with us anymore and this will be a financial loss for us.”

Note how I said “I feel anxious” and not “I’m a loser.” If I had given into negative chatter, I wouldn’t have uncovered the direction to move in (the part after “because”). This is why domesticating emotions is crucial.

2. Next, I prepared for the worst

We often run from our worst fears rather than facing them despite knowing that the worst outcome rarely comes true. The result is that we stay stuck in fear instead of pushing beyond it. And we never discover what we’re really capable of, which sucks.

In my case, the worst meant losing the client. It would hurt but it was the truth. However, we could get more clients. Plus we already had other clients who helped us pay the bills. In other words, I wouldn’t have to live on the street.

The moment I accepted this, a huge weight got lifted off my chest. This prepared me for the third and final step.

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Lastly, I examined the situation

Examining a situation means setting aside your emotional baggage and focusing on facts. When you trust that you’ll be okay, you become better at diagnosing the real problem. Once I felt lighter, I could see things clearly.

I used the 5 Whys Technique (asking “why” five times) to figure out the real reason for the client’s dissatisfaction. Then I collected data on the issue and on what we had previously delivered.

Finally, I reached out to the CEO of the client and held a detailed and constructive discussion based on my findings. Within four days, the CEO and I were back to the way things were before.

The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to give today your best. I’m not sure whether the issue with the client got resolved for good or whether the client won’t pack up and leave one day. However, I am sure that I’m prepared to handle such cases better today than I was yesterday.

Control your emotions instead of letting them run amok. Accept things for what they are instead of what you want them to be. Be realistic instead of delusional. Address the situation instead of succumbing to emotions.

Don’t preempt what lies ten miles ahead and get paralyzed by fear. Address what lies clearly in front of you and keep moving. One day you’ll be surprised about how close to your destination you are.

How do you move forward when all hope seems to be lost? Share your advice below!

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Life

8 Effective Tips to Improve Your Emotional Wellbeing

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You know what they say, “Health Is Wealth”. But, more often than not, we only mean it in the context of physical health. There’s no question that being fit is the world’s greatest treasure. Unfortunately, not a lot of us take time out to look after our emotional health and wellbeing.

Let’s not forget – it’s ‘Mind Over Matter’. So, if you are able to take control of your emotions, thoughts, how you feel through the day and how you respond to myriad situations; there’s nothing quite like it. When you become the master of your emotions; health, prosperity, and basically all good things are bound to follow you.

With that said, here are 8 surefire ways that will improve your emotional wellbeing:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Half the time, we don’t even know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. That’s because we let our minds operate on autopilot. It’s time to take control of your mind. Be aware of what and how you feel throughout the day. The upside to this practice is that you can detect negative emotions right on the onset and quickly change them and their corresponding feeling.

Feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred; they are not good for the mind, soul, or the body. Paying close attention to the spectrum of emotions you experience throughout the day, will help you detect the negative ones and kick them away before they fester deep enough to take away your happiness and emotional health.

2. Stay Physically Active

As you engage in physical activities, your brain produces a whole bunch of feel-good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. These hormones are what causes the ‘elated’ or ‘euphoric’ feeling. Being physically active uplifts your mood and your outlook towards life. It readies you to take the challenges more head-on instead of becoming overwhelmed by the littlest of inconvenience.

You are better able to analyze tough situations and take a more proactive rather than a reactive approach. It’s no question physical health is in direct proportion with emotional health. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body and vice versa.

“Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be healthy without the other.” – Sid Garza-Hillman

3. Get Sufficient Sleep

Ever noticed how you feel depressed and cranky, and just out of focus the day you fail to get a good night’s sleep? Well, if you fail to get sufficient sleep for a couple of days, you are bound to feel more depressed, cranky and eventually more prone to a host of negative emotions. Research shows that sleep deprivation sends amygdala – our brain’s emotional response center into overdrive.

Amygdala controls our immediate emotional responses. When it becomes overactive, we become more reactive rather than active. We become more irritable, angry and anxious. A good night’s sleep is vital to improving your emotional wellbeing.

4. Develop a New Hobby

Learn to swim. Try arts and crafts. How about painting? Swimming is a ‘happy’ activity. You get to make new friends and stay fit. Arts and crafts, as we all know, tends to have a relaxing effect on the mind and the nerves.

Just the process of creating something from scratch makes you confident and gets those creative juices flowing. Similarly, painting helps you express yourself. All these factors together create a ‘happy you’. The one who likes to engage in new things instead of resisting change or difficult situations.

5. Eat Healthy

Ever heard of the phrase, “You are what you eat”? Well, it’s true to the last syllable. When you eat foods rich in salt, sodium, fat – you are bound to feel lethargic. It takes longer for the body to digest such foods. That means the body is forced to deprive organs of blood and use it for the digestion purpose.

Result? You become lazy, moody, not ready to take any responsibility which leads to feeling cranky and irritable. On the other hand, eating fibrous vegetables, fruits, salads, and complex sugars keeps you upbeat and healthy.

6. Laugh Your Heart Out

Laughter is the best medicine. That is why they have a dedicated ‘laughter session’ in yoga studios. You don’t even have to mean it. The simple act of spreading your cheeks and pretending to laugh sends a signal to your body that you are happy.

And what happens when you are happy? Your brain releases happy hormones like dopamine, serotonin and what not. In fact, many studies have gone so far as to stipulate that laughter alone is capable of treating all kinds of physical ailments. Why should emotional ailments be any different?

7. Try Relaxation Techniques

‘’Visualization technique’’ where you imagine yourself in a happy place is a surefire way to calm your nerves if you find yourself distressed. You may also try praying to elate yourself. Praying is good for the mind and the soul.

Controlled breathing or ‘biofeedback technique’ are some other relaxation techniques that can tame how you feel and even your bodily functions. Try surrounding yourself with aromatherapy or scented candles because the smell is a big factor in governing how we feel.

“Positive emotional energy is the key to health, happiness and wellbeing. The more positive you are, the better your life will be in every area.” – Brian Tracy

8. Count Your Blessings

We all have so much to be thankful for. It could be a friend who stands by you or a happy family. Good health. Financial freedom. Make a list of all the things that you feel grateful for in your life. If it’s a person, be sure to communicate your feelings and express your gratitude.

You will feel so much happier. Happiness is the diet of a healthy mind and an intelligent emotional response mechanism. You could also try writing a poem or simply expressing your gratitude through the power of prayers.

There are so many ways to become emotionally intelligent and not one of them requires any investment or special skills. Practically anyone and everyone can do it. All you need is the will and the desire.

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