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10 Steps to Creating the Life You Actually Want

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Create a great life

Too many people are living in circumstances that they are not happy with. They do not know that they can actually have the life they want. Some have not even taken any time to think about what it is that they actually want. Having an idea of the life you want means you can create your reality and live a life that makes you happy.

Follow these 10 steps below to walk towards living the life that you want:

1. Ask yourself what you want in all aspects of life

If you do not know what you are looking for in each area of your life you will wake up one day and wonder why you didn’t get what you wanted out of life. Before you can really be happy and get what you want from this life, you must ask yourself what you really want.

Many people believe that it is impossible to have their dream life, but it is possible. You just have to decide what you want first. Take the time to sit down and write this out. What do you want your life to look like? Visualise it. Visualise your ideal world and get it down on paper.

2. Get clear on your goals

Once you know what you want in all areas of your life then you need to get specific and clear about your goals. Take those ideal visions and get specific about when you want to achieve, when you want to achieve it by and how you will know you have achieved it.

“Set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there.” – Bo Jackson

3. Make a plan & take action

This is where many people get stuck and never actualise their visions and their goals. Once you have figured out what you want you need to create a path to get there and actually do the work. This can be tricky for people because this is where it can get hard but taking massive action separates those who will make changes and live the life that they dream of and those who will just always be dreaming and wishing forever.

4. Don’t settle

When creating the life that you want it is easy to get a life that you do not want and it can be difficult to work on yourself and your goals to ensure you get the life that you want. When it gets hard many people end up settling for what they have and push themselves for what they want. Don’t be someone who has settled for second best. Remember that this is your life and you can have whatever you want from this life as long as you work and don’t settle.

5. Stay focused

Creating the life you want requires you to stick to your goals. It is easy to get side tracked with so many distractions in this world. Social media, nights out drinking, spending money on meaningless items to keep up with the jones’.

We spend so much time tending to the needs of others through emails, social media, adverts constantly asking you to buy products and family or friends organising big boozy nights out. If you can take back your agenda and focus on the things that you want to do rather than answer to the needs of others, you will be on track to reach your goal.

6. Remember you deserve it

Sometimes people get scared and worry that they are not good enough or that it is only other people that achieve their dreams and goals. You need to remember that you were put on this earth and you have the skills and abilities that are unique to you. Nobody can do anything the way you do it, because you are unique. Be yourself and remember you are worth it.

7. Work hard

Goals don’t work unless you do. Having the life that you want will not happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen if you do not put the work into it. So many people set goals, make a plan and then expect things to change and improve but the reality is it takes time, work and effort to make the changes towards living the life of your dreams. So start today.

8. Stay positive

It can be difficult to stay in a positive mindset when things get hard or setbacks occur, but cultivating a happy outlook can be the difference in staying on track towards your goal and never reaching it.

“Positive better is nothing than negative nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard

9. Take time alone

We all love our family and friends, however, when you are pursuing a goal it is important that you take time to be by yourself. This will give you the opportunity to reflect on your life, what is going well, what part of the plan needs to be adapted or just to relax by meditating or reading.

I find taking time alone to be the most important part in reaching any goal, and have even found a name for it, ‘touching base’. The reason it is so important is because it gives me the chance to reconnect with myself, reconnect with what I want and ask myself if I am on the right path. It is difficult to do that when surrounded by people all the time.

10. Learn and adapt

The road to achieving your goals will not be a smooth road, but if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. During the process of working towards your goals you will experience failure and setbacks but this is where the growth and development happens. Your growth and development is necessary for you to achieve your goals so you must keep moving moving forward.

Finally, a person living the life that they want is no accident. They went out and actually created it using these 10 steps. Get started NOW and create the life you want.

Are you living the life you want? What are you doing to make sure you are? Leave your thoughts below!

Lorna Harkins is a personal & professional coach, using coaching to help clients overcome obstacle, cultivate a mindset for success and achieve their goals. It is her mission to ensure that everyone knows that they have the ability to be the hero, to have what they want, and then to empower them to take action to make their life and existence one of meaning, fulfilment and success. If you liked this article follow her on twitter @_bafr.

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Lorna Harkins

    Jan 30, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Glad you agree Rodrigo 🙂

    Good luck JuneBug ! Let me know how you get on

  2. Lorna Harkins

    Jan 30, 2017 at 9:31 am

    Thanks for your comment Olga ! Goodluck with your goal of learning French 🙂

  3. JuneBug

    Jan 30, 2017 at 1:25 am

    Ok here I go.

  4. Rodrigo

    Jan 29, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    Totally agree!

  5. Olga

    Jan 29, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    My goal for this year is to learn the French language. It doesn’t always come easy to learn this language, though, I discovered so much about myself during this 1,5 years! I would’ve never figured anything out if I was still living at home.

  6. chhaayahn

    Jan 29, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Its very simple yet powerful. As you said i tried to visualize the things i want in my life in paper. Suprisingly i felt motivated. By Writing in paper i felt responsible of my own life. I truly want my life to be how i visualized today. I need to work out as per your simple suggestion. Thank you.

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Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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