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3 Simple Steps to Remove Drama From Your Life Immediately

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You come home, tired from work, and as soon as you open the door, the drama hits you in the face. Either your boyfriend/girlfriend is throwing a tantrum which ends up in a full-out fight for hours or your boss has a love/hate relationship with you and gives you so many responsibilities that you end up working late in the night. Maybe it is simply your parents who keep forcing you to take the job, partner or university you don’t really want.

Whatever it may be, our lives are out of control when we experience drama. But there is a way we can solve this.

Here are 3 simple steps to help you remove drama from your life:

1. Stand your ground even if it rains or snows

The sentence is said by Script in one of their songs. What does it mean? Most of the drama happens in our lives because we don’t stand our grounds. We let our attitudes and behaviors become shaped by other people’s agenda. What happens when your loved one throws a tantrum at you when it’s not your fault? If you budge and start apologizing for something you didn’t do, it will always happen.

When you stand your ground, you engage in a tough conversation. And our lives are marked by the number of tough conversations we are willing to have. Yeah, it’s easier to just keep your mouth shut and let the tantrum go away by itself, but that way, you create a short-term advantage, but a long-term disadvantage because you just postpone the problem which will just keep popping up.

To solve this, you need to be willing to stand your ground. With this attitude, you kill the monster while it’s still young. If you let it grow, it will spiral out of control. This means hitting the drama in the cause, not the effect. See what is behind the tantrum of your girlfriend/boyfriend, understand why your parents want you to get this kind of education and talk openly with your boss about the tasks. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it in the long-term.

“Life is 10% what you experience and 90% how you respond to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll

2. Remove toxic people from your environment

You are the average of 5 people you hang out with the most,said famously by Jim Rohn and it seems to be an axiom proven over and over again. Did you notice how some people create drama in their lives even when there is no reason behind it? There is always someone who screws them up somehow, always someone who talks bad behind their back and always someone who needs to get what they deserve.

No matter how much you try to help them, there always seems to be drama which occupies their time, focus, and energy. At this moment, you need to cut these people loose. They are simply not worth it. If you stay long enough, they will just drag you into their drama. With that, you will also start living it, which will sap your time, focus, and energy.

If your working environment is toxic, just quit because it’s not worth it. You will find another job even in this day’s economy. As Jim Collins said in Good to Great “If you come home and talk about the bad employee who just saps your energy, it is time to fire him.” Use the same rule for the working environment.

Don’t limit yourself only to the working environment, look at your relationships with friends and loved ones as well. If it won’t change, you know what to do. Short-term pain for the long-term gain!

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”- Arthur Ashe

3. The spotlight effect

This effect tells us that even though we are the center of our universe, we are not the center of everyone else’s universe. We tend to think that everyone else focuses on us and marks every single step we take, but in reality, people most often don’t care about us.

If you want to kill drama from your life, start by understanding that you don’t matter as much as you think. This will prevent you from escalating drama in your life. You’ve probably had the situation where a friend stood you up for a drink or something similar. They probably forgot or had something urgent to deal with. They didn’t stand you up to humiliate you or to make you nervous and anxious.

There is no hidden agenda to destroy you in any way. People don’t really care that much about you and as soon as you internalize that, you will be free.  You will forgive and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Did someone postpone a meeting with you? They are not trying to screw you over. Someone didn’t return you the book they borrowed? They probably forgot.

This will give you freedom and it will kill drama in your life. You will feel much more alive because you won’t be using your time, focus, and energy on drama. In turn, that will free up your time to create something valuable and use your time, focus and energy on something great, something people will value, use or read.

If you’ve managed to remove the drama from your life, spread the word about it. There are people struggling with these situations in their lives, and you can show them that life can be simple and great, but only if they remove drama from it. So share this article with your friends who could use it. Trust me, it will help them.

What are some things you’ve done to remove drama from your life? Comment below!

Bruno Boksic is an expert habit builder who was covered in the biggest personal development publications like Lifehack, Addicted2Success, Goalcast, Pick The Brain. If you want to build life-long habits, Growthabits is the first place to visit.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Daniel

    Mar 6, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    This is a great article. Some people thrive off of drama and create it subliminally….others are repelent of drama and get rid of it effortlessly…..be repelent of drama!

    • Bruno

      Mar 20, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      Thanks Daniel!

      Yeah, everyone should be repellent of drama in their lives. It’s such an energy drain and totally unnecessary in life.

      Cheers,
      -Bruno

  2. Amir Ayaz

    Feb 25, 2018 at 11:10 am

    Nice Post.

    • Bruno

      Mar 20, 2018 at 2:22 pm

      Thanks Amir! 😀

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Life

Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Why You Never Have Enough Time and What You Need to Do About It

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Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

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6 Unusual Exercises to Effectively Increase Your Creativity Faster Than Ever

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Although a vast majority of people think that creativity is something you are born with, the truth is a bit different. While we cannot deny that you need natural talent to a certain extent, stimulating creative thinking is indeed a matter of practice. If you give this thought a bit of thinking, you can realize pretty quickly that even the most fascinating and creative minds have faced the lack of creativity at some point in their lives. (more…)

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Life

3 Psychological Facts That Can Unleash Your Inner Power

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Some people will achieve great things. Others won’t. But why is that? We’re all just “talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe,” as Joe Rogan puts it. So why do some “talking monkeys” build 7 or 8 figure businesses, travel the world, and live the life of their dreams while the rest of us… well, wish we were living the life of our dreams. (more…)

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