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3 Simple Steps to Remove Drama From Your Life Immediately

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drama

You come home, tired from work, and as soon as you open the door, the drama hits you in the face. Either your boyfriend/girlfriend is throwing a tantrum which ends up in a full-out fight for hours or your boss has a love/hate relationship with you and gives you so many responsibilities that you end up working late in the night. Maybe it is simply your parents who keep forcing you to take the job, partner or university you don’t really want.

Whatever it may be, our lives are out of control when we experience drama. But there is a way we can solve this.

Here are 3 simple steps to help you remove drama from your life:

1. Stand your ground even if it rains or snows

The sentence is said by Script in one of their songs. What does it mean? Most of the drama happens in our lives because we don’t stand our grounds. We let our attitudes and behaviors become shaped by other people’s agenda. What happens when your loved one throws a tantrum at you when it’s not your fault? If you budge and start apologizing for something you didn’t do, it will always happen.

When you stand your ground, you engage in a tough conversation. And our lives are marked by the number of tough conversations we are willing to have. Yeah, it’s easier to just keep your mouth shut and let the tantrum go away by itself, but that way, you create a short-term advantage, but a long-term disadvantage because you just postpone the problem which will just keep popping up.

To solve this, you need to be willing to stand your ground. With this attitude, you kill the monster while it’s still young. If you let it grow, it will spiral out of control. This means hitting the drama in the cause, not the effect. See what is behind the tantrum of your girlfriend/boyfriend, understand why your parents want you to get this kind of education and talk openly with your boss about the tasks. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it in the long-term.

“Life is 10% what you experience and 90% how you respond to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll

2. Remove toxic people from your environment

You are the average of 5 people you hang out with the most,said famously by Jim Rohn and it seems to be an axiom proven over and over again. Did you notice how some people create drama in their lives even when there is no reason behind it? There is always someone who screws them up somehow, always someone who talks bad behind their back and always someone who needs to get what they deserve.

No matter how much you try to help them, there always seems to be drama which occupies their time, focus, and energy. At this moment, you need to cut these people loose. They are simply not worth it. If you stay long enough, they will just drag you into their drama. With that, you will also start living it, which will sap your time, focus, and energy.

If your working environment is toxic, just quit because it’s not worth it. You will find another job even in this day’s economy. As Jim Collins said in Good to Great “If you come home and talk about the bad employee who just saps your energy, it is time to fire him.” Use the same rule for the working environment.

Don’t limit yourself only to the working environment, look at your relationships with friends and loved ones as well. If it won’t change, you know what to do. Short-term pain for the long-term gain!

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”- Arthur Ashe

3. The spotlight effect

This effect tells us that even though we are the center of our universe, we are not the center of everyone else’s universe. We tend to think that everyone else focuses on us and marks every single step we take, but in reality, people most often don’t care about us.

If you want to kill drama from your life, start by understanding that you don’t matter as much as you think. This will prevent you from escalating drama in your life. You’ve probably had the situation where a friend stood you up for a drink or something similar. They probably forgot or had something urgent to deal with. They didn’t stand you up to humiliate you or to make you nervous and anxious.

There is no hidden agenda to destroy you in any way. People don’t really care that much about you and as soon as you internalize that, you will be free.  You will forgive and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Did someone postpone a meeting with you? They are not trying to screw you over. Someone didn’t return you the book they borrowed? They probably forgot.

This will give you freedom and it will kill drama in your life. You will feel much more alive because you won’t be using your time, focus, and energy on drama. In turn, that will free up your time to create something valuable and use your time, focus and energy on something great, something people will value, use or read.

If you’ve managed to remove the drama from your life, spread the word about it. There are people struggling with these situations in their lives, and you can show them that life can be simple and great, but only if they remove drama from it. So share this article with your friends who could use it. Trust me, it will help them.

What are some things you’ve done to remove drama from your life? Comment below!

Bruno Boksic is an expert habit builder who was covered in the biggest personal development publications like Lifehack, Addicted2Success, Goalcast, Pick The Brain. If you want to build life-long habits, Growthabits is the first place to visit.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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