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3 Lifestyle Qualities Anyone Can Apply to Maintain a High Confidence Level




For 15 years, I struggled figuring out how to bring empowerment into my life.  I was riddled with fear.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of failure. Fear of being exposed as an imposter.

Tired of living imprisoned by my own inaction, I wanted to learn how to live more confidently.  What I found was a black hole of information.  There were the common slogans like, “Just take action,” and “Fake it till you make it.”  While these sometimes worked, it didn’t get to the heart of what I really wanted.

The people that I sat back and admired for their sense of control and action weren’t just faking it.  They were living in a confident manner that was natural and authentic.  When things weren’t going right, they

Through this four-year journey, I’ve discovered three lifestyle qualities that anyone can apply to maintain a level of confidence that feels real and authentic.  Bringing the momentum necessary to continue sprinting towards your goals when everyone is telling you to turn around.

Here are the 3 qualities you need:

1. Become the Master of Your Thoughts

Do you realize how many thoughts go through your head the second you wake up to when you go to bed?  Experts say the average person has around 60,000 thoughts every day!

What’s troubling is 80% of these thoughts are negative.  That is telling yourself 48,0000 times each day why you can’t have what you deserve.  Would you hang out with someone who continuously told you how you weren’t good enough?

You are often the tormentor of your own life.  These negative conversations in your brain become self-fulfilling prophecies because they start making you believe that you aren’t good enough for your deepest desires.  That leads to more negative thoughts, and the cycle goes on.  

The only way to live confidently is to start believing in yourself.  That requires you to become the master of your thoughts.  You have to start questioning every negative idea that runs through your head.  When a thought about how you can’t have something shows up, you need to respond, “How can I make it happen today instead of waiting for the perfect time?”

Over time this continuous questioning will transform your thinking.  Not just by making you think positively, but looking at the opportunities in everything that crosses your path.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

2. Delivering Your Power Through Your Body

What makes a firefighter run into a burning building or finally walking into your boss’s office to ask for the raise you deserve is a physical action.  There is a point where you push past the thoughts and uneasy feeling and move forward.  Walking through life confidently is not just a metaphor.  It is the absolute truth.

Too often people believe that confidence is just a mental game.  That one can just think themselves into action.  The truth is that you must rely on a physical power to move you into action.  The body must honor what the mind often can’t justify.

Your body is literally a channel of power that is necessary to live confidently.  When that moment comes where you have to cross the line into the unknown, one needs that jolt of energy that makes you say, “Go for it!”  

Yet most people abuse their bodies almost as much as their minds.  Between the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and sedentary lifestyle, most bodies have a deficiency of power within them.

Look at two of your friends, one that lives an active lifestyle and the other the spends most of their time on the couch.  Which one has a more positive mindset?  Who is taking more action in their lives?  My guess is the active friend is taking more action towards their goals.

Your mind and body work together in the pursuit to stand in your highest potential.  If you aren’t taking care of your body it will be hard to take the physical action necessary to achieve your goals.

“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” – Eleanor Roosevelt

3. Trusting the Process

Confidence isn’t just about mindset and action.  There has to be a trusting nature that lies inside; trusting your abilities, trusting the process used to achieve your goals and trusting that you can survive failure.

It’s tough to believe in the process when nothing seems to be going right.  Most people give up too quickly believing the strategy, their abilities or local geography is preventing them from reaching their goals.  The truth is that they never trusted the process and gave up right before their breakthrough was coming.

The person that lives confidently is great at letting go of what they can’t control.  They understand that they can only control their actions, so that is what they lead with.  They understand that if they keep taking action, no matter how many times they get knocked down, that their desired results will be achieved.

Incorporating these three qualities to my lifestyle changed how I showed up in the world.  Mastering my thoughts, taking care of my body to generate my physical power and trusting the process of continuous action, has allowed me to achieve more than ever before.  What use to take me a year to complete can usually be done in three months.

Do I ever curl up in a ball and hide in the face of adversity? Yes.  I am human like everyone else.  But I no longer have to “fake it till I make it.”  Instead, I can continue to push forward as I am in a manner that most consider to be courageous.

How do you keep your confidence level high? Please leave your thoughts below!

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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