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3 Life Changing Lessons I Learned from Starting a YouTube Channel



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Like me, many of you have YouTube channels that are sitting around collecting dust because we just didn’t know what to do with them. Afterall, being a content creator and YouTuber is hard work and it can amplify all this is good or bad in your life. My channel has been around since 2008 but I didn’t know anything about sharing a message because I didn’t think I had one. But once I started to go all-in on my channel, I started to learn a few hard, but necessary lessons about what it takes to grow into the kind of person who has a successful business and channel.

The process of content creation can reveal a lot about a person and how they view the world. So it’s no surprise that really starting a YouTube channel challenged me and my low self-esteem. After all, what was my message? Why would anyone care to watch me? 

Here are three of the lessons I learned from going all-in on my YouTube channel:

1. It’s not about me

This is one of the hardest lessons in life for people to learn. I’m one of those people. Perfectionism and other variations on anxiety would have us think the success of our content, in whatever form, is about us, the creator. It’s really not. While content may be the way we express our message, we are the messenger, not the message. By taking the message off of myself, I am better able to answer viewer questions and truly provide the kind of content people are searching for online.

“Content that serves is content that sells.” – Marie Forleo

2. No one cares who I am

This lesson hurt deeply, I’m not going to lie. We live in a very self-centered society where voyeurism and reality would have us believe that our everyday lives are interesting enough to build a successful business. The harsh reality is that no one knows who I am and I’m not famous enough for anyone to really care what I do on a daily basis. That’s why new YouTubers with vlogs and bloggers with lifestyle blogs find it hard to gain success faster than other content creators. Consumers are online to find solutions to their problems. Yes, they want to be entertained as well, but you’ve got to solve their problems.

Many famous YouTubers with vlogs or those with reality TV shows are people with some kind of influencer or celebrity status already. There is something truly unique about them which draws in the audience. They didn’t start that way though. These people started by building a brand around one thing they were good at and serving one audience really well. Only after you’ve done all of that do you get the privilege of talking about whatever you like and have people actually care about what you had for breakfast or what you eat in a day.

When you create that video about reviewing the latest product my audience is searching for information about, I understand they may not know me, but they know the product. By leveraging the name recognition of the product I’m reviewing or the celebrity I’m about to disagree with or book I’m going to review, I create a win-win situation. I get the views (and maybe subscribers) and they get answers to their questions. Everyone is happy.

3. Serve the audience

The final piece of the puzzle is likely the most important. As I’ve said before, no one really cares about me because they don’t know me. It’s not because I’m not a person of worth, it’s just that the viewer has a problem and they are looking for a solution, not my musings on the latest Nike shoes or the shenanigans of my dog.

As content creators and business owners, we have to remember that our job is to serve. If we aren’t offering a solution to someone’s problem, what are we doing? YouTube is a search engine and people are looking for answers to specific questions. By providing those answers, you can increase the opportunity for them to get to know you, like you, trust you, and then buy from you.

“We need to stop interrupting what people are interested in and be what people are interested in.” – Craig Davis

Serving the audience is really about looking outside of yourself and not creating selfish content. It is not my job to create content I want to see, but rather create the content that my audience is looking for. What keeps them up at night? Why are they online searching for answers? Certainly I can weave in my story and message within those answers, but the content must first and foremost serve the audience. Without an audience you are just shouting in a vacuum.

And while I’ve had to refocus my YouTube channel many times, the only reason I haven’t been consistent in content production over the last 4 years is because I took the focus off of the audience and put it on me. While I would love to have a successful business and have my YouTube channel be a part of that equation, I have to remember to serve first.

Wendy Coop is a veteran and military spouse turned entrepreneur and freelance writer. She creates content to help entrepreneurs and leaders fulfill their potential and purpose through mindset. She is also a graduate of the United States Naval Academy. Learn more at

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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