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2 of the Best Techniques I’ve Ever Used to Remember My Top Priorities

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Everyone starts out with the best of intentions. Yet, how often do we forget to focus on our priorities? The answer is that even top performers can have their focus yanked away. The good news is that there are some quick tricks anyone can use to stop forgetting their priorities.

The Priority Pyramid Exercise

We all know that top performers are practically addicted to meditation. But did you know that you can use meditation to remember your top priorities better? Here’s how:

  • Of all the things you need to get done, pick just three. Ideally, these will be truly deserving of attention.
  • While seated or performing a walking meditation, arrange these priorities mentally in the form of a pyramid.
  • Mentally rotate them in your mind to “test” the level of priority

For example, let’s say your three priorities have been boiled down to writing for an hour, making some business outreach calls and publishing a new video. You would mentally rotate these priorities and ask each time a task reached the top position if it really needs to be done first.

This exercise relates to what scientists call cognitive switching, and it has been shown to improve critical thinking skills. The best part? If you practice this consistently over 90-days, it will likely become a permanent habit. You won’t have to remember to do it because you’ll be positively addicted to the exercise. 

As a result, you’ll be trained to focus on testing your priorities frequently. We know just how powerful testing can be for improving results, so enjoy the renewed success this practice brings.

“The first step to success is knowing your priorities.” – Aspesh

The To-Do List Memory Palace

Of course, all priorities come with a list of individual steps to complete. To help make it easy and fun, I suggest an ancient memory technique called the Memory Palace. Simply put, to use this mnemonic device, you take any room you’re familiar with and bring it to your imagination.

It can be any room you choose. In fact, it doesn’t have to be a whole room. You can easily just use the desk in your home office. Once you’ve chosen something, you place associations in this room that help you remember the things you need to do.

Let’s say that you decide your top priority is to publish a new video. The steps are:

  • Record the video and upload to YouTube
  • Add title and tags
  • Write description 
  • Add to your blog and press publish

To remember these steps, you could just jot them down. But that robs you of some beneficial memory exercise. Plus, it won’t help you train your procedural memory to improve so you keep taking consistent action, almost on autopilot. This technique has also been proven to increase focus and concentration, so using it is a win-win.

For that reason, I highly recommend placing associations in a Memory Palace around your work space. Like this:

In this example, I’ve used the walls and corners of the desk to attach some associations. 

  • The YouTube logo floating on the corner makes it easy to remember shooting and uploading the video
  • The image of adding a sticky note to a computer screen helps recall adding a title and tags
  • A typewriter on another part of the wall helps trigger the need to write a description
  • An image of the WordPress interface helps with remembering the final publishing step

To make these associations memorable, you want to exaggerate them a little. It can also help to have them interact with each other. For example, the YouTube logo can be beating like a heart and expressing love for the sticky notes. The typewriter can have its keys falling off and clattering onto the WordPress screen. 

By elaborating the images in this way, you form a chain between the associations that makes each part even more memorable. This is essentially how people have been using the Memory Palace technique for thousands of years. Now you know how to do it for crushing your goals too.

Obviously, this technique works for both simple and complex, multi-step tasks. The trick is to get started and practice it consistently enough so that you can develop habits of memory and associate those new skills with taking action.

“If it’s a priority you’ll find a way. If it isn’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

Combining Skills of Implementation Over the Long Term

Nothing happens overnight, and many people are not used to operating their minds as I’ve just suggested. It’s normal to be rusty when using exercises and processes like these. To help loosen up, I suggest keeping a journal for the first 90-days. That way you aren’t juggling everything in your mind. You can also use the journal to draw your Memory Palace as a simple square. This helps develop more advanced abilities with spatial memory. 

There’s no cookie-cutter advice on how exactly to keep a journal, so it’s best to experiment. That way you’re also giving yourself the gift of exploring something new and discovering exactly what approaches work best for you. This form of self-optimization is always deeply personal, even if the brain science behind it is fundamentally the same for everyone.

Finally, consider using these skills as a marathon, not a race. Before you know it, you’ll realize that you’ve developed incredible endurance. You’ll be glad that you trained your imagination and memory to help you with consistency along the way.

Anthony Metivier is the founder of the Magnetic Memory Method, a systematic, 21st Century approach to memorizing foreign language vocabulary, dreams, names, music, poetry, and much more in ways that are easy, elegant, effective, and fun.

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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