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10 Simple Steps To Be Productive And Kill The Procrastination Beast

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10 Simple Steps To Be Productive And Kill The Procrastination Beast

Have you ever experienced this? You are so tired and worn out after a long workday that some of your primary body functions have temporarily shut down.You are not able to think, speak or walk properly. Heck, let`s be honest. If your mother watched you limping towards the bathroom to brush your teeth, she would seriously be wondering about if she had given birth to a Quasimodo (hunchback).

The Problem? Even though you are putting in more hours at work, you somehow can`t seem to catch up. Your never-ending growing to do list is not the real problem. The real problem is what lurks behind it – the big and dreadful procrastination beast, which is growing more each day.

You feel that you are awfully close to the breaking-point…where you either will be drowned by your to do list or eaten alive by the procrastination beast. Can you relate? If so, it`s okay. I`ve been there too…Relax. Breathe. There is still hope.

Here’s the 10 Simple Steps To Be Productive And Kill The Procrastination Beast:

1. Setting a correct goal

It`s important that you have clarity, so you will be able to set a correct goal. Something that might be worse than failing to reach a correct goal, is to actually reach a wrong goal. Let`s say that you were going to learn to play ice hockey. That was your ultimate goal, and you knew that it was the path you wanted to take.

A good first step would for instance be learning how to skate. Instead of aiming for that goal, you somehow, don’t ask me why, found out you wanted to learn how to run faster. Even though, learning how to run faster might be a cool goal to reach, it will bring you nowhere closer to learning how to skate. You get the point.

Then over to one of the most underestimated steps…

 

2. Your BIG why

This will actually be the real make it or break it factor. It`s within our human nature to resist going out of our comfort zone. Why? Because we think it`s uncomfortable.

If your ´why´ is not big enough, you won`t be able to fend off the excuses when you have to push yourself doing the necessary tasks, whether you feel like it or not. The bigger your why, the greater your chance of actually sticking to plan and reaching your goal.

You should have a burning desire, which will make you unstoppable on your way to your goal. Have you found your real why?

Good, let`s move on.

“People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.” – Simon Sinek

3. How?

Knowing how to reach your goal is crucial. If you don`t know how, then you could do research and google the topic. A good tip is to find someone who has already accomplished what you want to accomplish, and replicate the method. It can either be finding a mentor or just paying an expert to show you the way.

In the end you basically need to find out how to reach your big hairy goal, and then break it down into smaller manageable steps.

We got the how covered, then over to the…

 

4. When?

It`s essential that you set a deadline for your big hairy goal, and for your smaller goals. A deadline will make you push yourself out of the comfort zone in order to get cranking. And the most important thing?

If you set a deadline, you MUST do whatever is in your power to actually meet that deadline. If not, you are conditioning your mind to expect to fail the deadlines you set. The worst part? Setting a deadline will lose it`s effect. So how do we keep track of all the activities? Let`s answer that in the next step.

“A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.” – Harvey McKay

5. The master to do list

You should have a master to do list. What does that mean? It means that you should have only ONE to do list, which contains all the tasks that need to be done.

When I was working for one of the biggest companies in Norway, some of the people who were perceived as the most valuable and productive employees by the company had several to do lists. I asked them two simple questions: how many to do lists they had and if they had full control of all their to do tasks.

The answers were always the same, they were never 100% sure how many lists they actually had nor if they had full control of all the tasks. If you don`t know how many to do lists you actually have, you certainly don`t have full control of all your to do tasks.

How many to do lists should you have? If you answered one, a high five to you.

 

6. Support

They say that when it comes to a fight, there is strength in numbers. That is also the case when it comes to reaching our goal. And let`s face it, you are really preparing for a fight against the procrastination beast.
When you have mapped out the necessary tasks in order to reach your goal, sticking to the plan can be hard.

That is why it can be a good idea to share your goal with people you trust, and which you know will support you. If your goal was to start with mixed martial arts and to compete in the UFC, your mother would probably not be the biggest supporter. And it`s understandable. Who wants to see their child being beaten into a pulp?

It is important to actually pick the right supporters. Nothing is worse than having people who don`t really support you, being a part of your cheerleading crew. That negative person might poison and demotivate the rest of the cheerleading crew, and last but not least, you.

The next point is also very important. By mastering that skill, you can truly become unstoppable.

 

7. Laser focus

They say that the person who has the ability to focus on only one single thought for 2 minutes straight, will have the ability to accomplish anything. You want to be that person, right? It`s okay. Just start practicing.

So the real key to focusing is really to remove ALL distractions.

A crash course on how to laser focus:

  1. Mute or turn off your cellphone. If it`s muted, put it away and don`t look at it until you are finished completing your task at hand.
  2. Turn-off the Internet connection. You think that you are doing research by googling stuff, but what you are really doing, is ruining your own focus.
  3. Let people around you know that you are busy, so you won`t get interrupted

The next step might be the hardest part…

 

8. Self-discipline

Self-discipline is about doing the necessary tasks no matter what, whether your feel like or not. You have to brainwash yourself. You have to put your feelings aside, program your mind and become an unstoppable machine.

The good news? It will become a little bit easier, the more you practice it. However, be prepared that it will be a constant battle. Do you want to know a little secret? By learning the skill of self-discipline it will become a catalyst for all other activities you need to do in order to stop procrastinating and become more productive.

Kop Kopmeyer wrote about 1000 success principles (4 books). At the end of the last book he wrote that the most important principle for success is self-discipline, without that none of the other principles will work. Yeah, you know the importance of self-discipline by now.

Then it`s time to…

Conquer-Self

9. Grow some courage

In order to achieve your goals and get the success you dream of in your life and business, you need to be able to move out of the comfort zone. You need to stop worrying about what everyone else will think about you. It`s scary, right? Yeah, I know.

What if you make a fool out of yourself and what if people will be talking about you? You have probably heard the cliché “It`s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.” It`s a cliché, we can all agree on that, nevertheless, it`s still true.

I will let you in on one more secret. People will be talking about you no matter what. Whatever you do, you can`t stop it. So if people are going to talk about you anyway, you might as well build the future you want. Stop whining and stop trying to think about excuses.

Just grow some courage. Okay, so you are all pumped up now? And your self-esteem is on it`s peak? Awesome. What`s next?

Use your good self-esteem and…

 

10Take action now!

When you have done all the steps above, there is no need for more analyzing or thinking. You have already done that. Enough talk. It`s time to do the actual walk and kill the procrastination beast once and for all!

You can do it. Just remove your butt from your chair and just do it! Take action now!

 

Now is the time to kill the procrastination beast before it kills you. Please leave your comments below!

Tor decided to leave his six-figure job in order to follow his passion - to help online entrepreneurs free up more time, so they can do what they love. Want to become more productive? Download his free eBook and learn how to double your productivity in 7 days.

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40 Comments

40 Comments

  1. Apeh Kelvin Chibueze

    Jul 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Your writings inspire one and lift off the burden of past regrets on procrastination. I’ve dwelled on procrastination for long and it has really eaten Me up. I’ve that potential to accomplish my vision but how to go about it considering the task involved has really tied Me down all because of procrastination. Yes, I’ve gotten the light! Thanks Man.

  2. Connie

    Jul 30, 2015 at 2:39 am

    TOR, this article will be very helpful. I’m changing careers, even though I am staying in the medical field. This will be of great help in planning things out. I look forward to reading more of your articles. Thank you.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jul 30, 2015 at 9:13 am

      Hi Connie,

      thanks for your comment.

      I`m glad that you found my article useful 🙂

      Feel send me an email if you need any sparring regarding planning or productivity 😉

      Have a great day.

      Best,

      Tor

  3. Brent Jones

    Jun 22, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Awesome Post, Tor! Shared it on all my networks. 🙂

    I like the point about WHY.

    One of my mentors once told me, “Figure out why and how will reveal itself.”

    Seriously, when we can mentally envision what success will look like, it’s 1000x easier to accomplish great things!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:52 am

      Thanks, Brent.

      I really appreciate your support and you sharing the post.

      You are AWESOME 😉

      Yup, one of my mentors actually told me the same line…(true story).

      A strong WHY will make you be able to endure all the challenges, the hardship, go outside your comfort zone and do A LOT of things you REALLY don`t WANT to do…

      …but you will do it, because the big PRIZE at the end of the journey is so WORTH it!

      Have a great day,

      Tor

  4. Sonia Thompson

    Jun 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Hey Tor!

    Killing procrastination is so super important for entrepreneurs, so I’m glad you covered this topic.

    My favorite step is the one about 1 to-do list. I generally only work with one, but as I’ve started working on some bigger projects, I see the importance of writing down ALL the steps that need to happen, and then that then allows me to figure out what’s on the critical path and what’s not – which then helps me create a proper daily task list.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Hi Sonia,

      great to see you here.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Having ONE to do list will totally change your day, your way of working and yes…increase your productivity tremendously.

      By ONLY having 1 to do list, using the 80/20 rules prioritising the most important tasks at any given time, and sorting the priority of the tasks using the ABCDE method, helped me to increase my productivity with 200% in my previous six-figure income job.

      The result was that I was actually able to do in 2 hours what I normally spent 8 hours of doing.

      Side note – this is how the ABCDE method works:

      I Prioritize the tasks using the ABCDE method:

      A :Tasks I must do – serious consequences if it doesn`t get done
      B: Tasks I should do – mild consequences if it doesn`t get done
      C: Tasks I could do – no consequences if it doesn`t get done
      D: Tasks I delegate
      E: Tasks I never do

      You never do a B task before you have done alle the A tasks, and you never do a C task before you have done all the B tasks, etc.

      Have a great day!

      Tor

  5. Hanna

    Jun 22, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Good useful article Tor – my biggest challenge is the WHY, seems it’s just not BIG enough so any tips on finding your WHY would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you for the share.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      Hi Hanna,

      first of all, regarding finding your WHY. Since I don`t know what type of project you are talking about, it`s hard for me to give a specific feedback.

      THAT being said…

      if you have a challenge to find your big WHY…

      well, most likely you just don`t have a strong WHY for that project / journey.

      Having a PASSION and a strong WHY is like chemistry with someone when you are on a first date.

      Either you have it, or you don`t.

      However, there might be a few exceptions to this.

      Let me tell you this…

      Visit my website and contact me. Shoot me an email with more details, and I can probably give you a much more detailed answer to your specific situation 😉

      Best,

      Tor

  6. Daniela Uslan

    Jun 22, 2015 at 1:25 am

    Hi Tor,

    What a great list of suggestions! One of the tips that I struggle with the most is self discipline. Even when I have a clear goal, a clear WHY, and support, I find myself getting off track and going on Facebook or wasting time. Also having one master list. That sounds so daunting, but yet so simple. I will have to try it! Thanks for the tips!

    Daniela

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:49 am

      Hi Daniela,

      thanks for stopping by to comment 🙂

      You have the clear goal, a clear WHY and support?

      That`s great! 🙂

      What you should do is to focus on FOCUSING (yeah, I wrote that sentence on purpose).

      The key about focusing is to remove all distractions; turn off or mute your cellphone, be unavailable to people and TURN OFF your internet connection.

      Yup, you read correct 😉

      When you remove all distractions, and only FOCUS on ONE task at a time, you should be able to get your stuff done 😉

      Have an awesome day!

      Tor

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 12:05 pm

      Hi Daniela,

      thanks for stopping by.

      You found your clear goal, a clear WHY and support, right?

      That is GREAT!

      Your next step should be focus on FOCUSING (yeah, I wrote that sentence on purpose 😉 )

      You should remove ALL distractions; mute or turn off your cellphone, make yourself unavailable for other people, and turn off your internet connection.

      Yes, you read correct.

      When you are able to focus on ONE single task at hand, and not being distracted, you will instantly become more productive!

      You can do it 🙂

      Best,

      Tor

  7. Joanna

    Jun 20, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Great post, Tor

    I agree, realising that for the past (insert your number) weeks/months/years you’ve been hitting the wrong goals and ticking off your to-do lists things that don’t really take you where you truly want to go takes a lot of courage and is painful, if not devastating. But if you can take it and turn the learning into a new course of action, then the reward is awesome!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks for commenting, Joanna.

      Yes, heading in the wrong direction can be crippling for your journey.

      However, the good thing is to stop…and take a breath. Get an overview, and see where you are located compared to your target destination.

      It`s important to not beat yourself up if you took the wrong path, but just change the course and find the silver lining in the experience.

      There is nothing that is called good or bad experience. It`s just experience.

      What you do with it is up to you 🙂

      Have a great day.

      Tor

  8. Carol Amato

    Jun 20, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    What an excellent article! Loved each and every point you made – extremely helpful.

    Especially the ‘When’ and ‘Self-Discipline’ sections. Deadlines are great, but if we don’t have the self-discipline to carry them out, we’re lost. LOL Plain old kitchen timer works for me as well as accountability partner.

    Loved the quote you included by Napoleon Hill, so apt here!

    Thanks for sharing, and have a great weekend.

    Carol Amato

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:19 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Carol.

      Yes, self-discipline is perhaps the hardest factor when it comes to reaching your goal and succeed.

      However, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

      A kitchen timer sounds indeed like a great accountability partner 😉

      Have a great day!

      Tor

  9. Andrea Beltrami

    Jun 20, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Epic list, Tor! These seem easy enough but oh how looks can be deceiving. Each one of these has taken a LOT of time for me to wrap my mentality around but I’ve gotten pretty decent at most. Now if I could just implement them all at the same time. Hahaha

    There’s still a nagging need to procrastinate when I’m afraid or when it’s a task I don’t enjoy doing. What can I say, I’m a work in progress…but aren’t we all! 😉

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:25 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts, Andrea.

      I was struggling a long time with these tips as well. However, when I became good at them, it totally changed my life.

      The difference between successful people and people who are not, is that successful people are willing to improve their most important skills ALL the time, and never be satisfied and procrastinate.

      When we are faced with insecurity or fear, procrastination has a tendency to appear.

      But the more we practice to go outside our comfort zone, do sparring with mentors and get used to handle uncomfortable situations, we will become better at it, and we will procrastinate less when we are faced with a new unknown situation 😉

      Tor

  10. Jenna Dalton

    Jun 19, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Great article, Tor. I love what you said to Sue too – in the comment above – about procrastinating by setting realistic goals that you’ll hit every time.

    I never thought of that being procrastination before but you’re right, it absolutely is!

    Time to go set some bigger goals 🙂

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Jenna.

      It means a lot 🙂

      In a nutshell; when you don`t perform at your best ability to reach your peak potential, you are actually procrastinating.

      It`s a lot like with the “slight edge” principle.

      Person A trains 1 times in the gym per week and just does the bare minimum workout, while person B trains 3 times a week and pushes himself/herself to the limit every single minute of the workout.

      You will probably not see a big difference between those two people when it comes to health and fitness after 1 week, after 1 month, perhaps not after 3 months.

      But after 6 months and more, the difference in their training is starting to show on the outside.

      After 1-2 years, person B will a lightyear ahead.

      How was it accomplished?

      By person B pushing himself to the limit, and doing it consistently.

      THAT is how you reach your peak potential FAST.

      At the end, your success is the sum of all the correct small activities you have completed every single day in order to bring you closer to your peak potential 😉

      Have a great weekend, Jenna.

      Best,

      Tor

      • Jenna Dalton

        Jun 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

        That absolutely makes sense, Tor. I love that way of thinking and have always thought that to be the case myself – it’s not necessarily one big action that gets you results, it’s a bunch of smaller actions put together over time. Smart strategy, my friend. Keep up the great work!

        • Tor Refsland

          Jun 24, 2015 at 11:45 am

          Thanks, Jenna.

          The clue is to take a big hairy goal(DUMB goal) and break it down into smaller manageable goals (SMART goal).

          The same to you, my friend 🙂

          Tor

  11. Dennis Seymour

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Cool post Tor. Goal setting has been a problem for me over the years. I made it a point to address that this year.

    I’m getting things done, though it feels slow, but I am creeping towards accomplishing goals which is the important part!

    You know what would complete this? Tools! Haha 😀 Obsessed with productivity tools.

    Enjoy the weekend!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:20 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Dennis.

      The most important thing is that you are improving 🙂

      Rome wasn`t built in one day 😉

      Productivity can be of great assistance, but at the end of the day, it really comes down to how focused you can work on your most important tasks…every single hour of your workday 😉

      In my experience, too many tools can be counterproductive.

      Have a great weekend 🙂

      Tor

  12. Jane Gordon

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    I have the biggest problem with the “procrastination beast”! Thanks for the tips! 🙂

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:17 am

      Thanks a lot for commenting, Jane.

      I hope that you will start to implement a few of the tips here, so you can handle the beast once and for all 😉

      Have a great weekend.

      Tor

  13. Andrew M. Warner

    Jun 19, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Hey Tor,

    Good stuff here.

    The big hairy goal concept is something that I try to do all the time. It makes it much easier when you actually get to break it down into steps you can take to move forward. I made the mistake before of just trying to do it all at once, which didn’t work.

    You did a great job with this post.

    – Andrew

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:16 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Andrew.

      I really appreciate it 🙂

      Handling a big hairy goal is like handling a 7 course meal. You don`t eat all the courses at once.
      You take ONE course at a time .

      Another big advantage when it comes to handling the smaller goals, is that once you complete a small goal, your confidence increases 😉

      Then you will have more confidence to tackle the next small goal, and when you are about to complete the last small goal (that completes the big hairy goal) your confidence is sky high, you have momentum and you are unstoppable 😉

      Have a great weekend.

      Best,

      Tor

  14. Kevin Duncan

    Jun 19, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Hi Tor,

    Congrats on getting published at Addicted 2 Success! This site is big time. Congratulations, my friend. 🙂

    Procrastination is definitely a killer. It can be such a difficult habit for people to break, but once they do… well, suddenly their lives are ten times less stressful.

    No need staying up until 4am cramming for an exam (because you started studying weeks ago). No need trying to lose 20 pounds in 7 days for your high school reunion (because you started your diet three months ago). No need stressing and worrying over the things you wish hadn’t waited until the last minute to tackle.

    It’s freeing!

    Great steps you’ve shared with all of us, Tor. I’ll be tweeting this shortly.

    Congrats again! Hope you have an awesome Friday and weekend.

    -Kevin

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:09 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Kevin.

      I really appreciate it, buddy.

      Yes, I totally agree with what you are saying. The difference between suffering from procrastination and being able to live a productive life is like night and day.

      If you don`t kill the procrastination beast and building your dream, you will be building someone else`s.

      Thanks a lot for your great comment.

      Have a great weekend.

      Tor

  15. Peter Banerjea

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:48 am

    Hey Tor!
    Excellent post as usual. Reading your posts is a quick way to get a shot of adrenaline! Keep writing mate!
    Peter

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Hi Peter,

      thanks for stopping by to comment and for your kind words.

      It`s comments like those that makes it worth all the hard work 😉

      Have an awesome day!

      Tor

  16. Anthony Metivier

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:25 am

    All good points, Tor!

    I too like the “big hairy goals,” concept. It begs another metaphor: the big strong comb (or brush).

    But what do you do with the hydra-effect? I mean, what do you do when tackling one item on your to-do lists means creating another to-do list?

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:25 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Anthony.

      Here is how i deal with the “Hydra-effect”.

      If you have a task A on your to do list, it spawns into several subtasks, I use a technique I call the Dependant Subtask principle.

      It works like this:

      Task A spawns into 5 subtasks.

      Task A – subtask A1
      – subtask A2
      – subtask A3
      – subtask A4
      – subtask A5

      You need to complete all 5 subtasks in order to complete task A. If there are dependencies among the subtasks, you range them from A1 to A5, where A1 is the subtask you have to complete first, then A2, A3, etc.

      In other words, I don`t create another to do list, I just take a big task and split it into several subtasks.

      I hope that helps.

      Best,

      Tor

      • Anthony Metivier

        Jun 27, 2015 at 7:51 am

        I like the Dependent Subtask principle. I’m going to put it to work – thank!

        • Tor Refsland

          Jun 27, 2015 at 9:49 am

          Great, Anthony.

          Good luck.

          And let me know how that goes 🙂

          Tor

  17. Sue Anne Dunlevie

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Hi, Tor,

    Great article! I like setting “big hairy goals” – I don’t always hit them but it’s amazing how many happen.

    “Focus” is my word this year – after consulting with you, I check email much less now.

    Thanks for the info,
    Sue

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Sue.

      The secret with “big hairy goals” is actually not necessarily to reach them, but that you will push yourself to achieve a BETTER results than if you didn`t set a high goal.

      Nothing is worse than to procrastinate by always setting realistic goals, which you will hit every single time.

      Setting goals is like training in the gym. If you never increase the amount of weights you lift, you will not progress according to your true potential 😉

      Focus is indeed an important ingredient when it comes to increasing your productivity, reaching your goals, being present and more happy.

      Best,

      Tor

  18. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:58 am

    The three things that I like here that have proved to be the most beneficial for me is having a why, having a plan, and taking action. When you have a why for what you want to do in life and you wake up to your why and a dream, you have motivation. After you have motivation, you need a plan of action, and after you have a plan, you need to take action. This are the true keys to success for me and you nailed it in detail in this article. Thanks for sharing!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:35 pm

      Thanks for commenting and for your kind words, Lawrence.

      Yes, reaching your goals isn`t really that complicated.

      It`s actually SIMPLE (but not easy).

      If you were going to go skiing for 10 kilometers the first time in your life, and you had never done it before, you would probably suck at it.

      The weather might be bad, your technique would be probably be far from perfect, and your skis might not be prepared in the best way.

      However, the only thing standing between you and the 10 kilometers finish line, is if you decide to QUIT.

      It doesn`t matter how bad the weather is, how tired and fed up you are, or how much you suck at skiing.

      If you have a strong enough WHY and you continue to move forward, you WILL reach the finish line eventually.

      That is basically how reaching your goals work 😉

      Have an awesome day.

      Best,

      Tor

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Life

4 Ways to Give Your Self-Efficacy a Serious Boost

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self-efficacy
Image Credit: Unsplash

Boosting your self-efficacy is a simple, yet powerful way to improve the levels of success and happiness you experience in your life. Each of us have goals in our lives, but if we don’t believe in our ability to achieve them, then how are we ever going to be successful?

In fact, according to the Theory of Planned Behaviour, our self-efficacy impacts both the goals we set for ourselves, as well as the amount of action we will take. If we have strong self-efficacy, we will aim higher with more ambitious goals as well as be more likely to follow through with the necessary goal-directed behaviours. However, with low levels of self-efficacy, we are likely not even to follow through and pursue even the most meagre of goals.

Therefore, if we have goals in life that are important to us, it is essential we develop and strengthen our self-efficacy.

Luckily, there are 4 simple areas to focus on when it comes to boosting our self-belief:

1. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Creating Mini Wins

One problem with big personal and life goals is that they take a while to realise. Maintaining motivation over a long period of time can be tough, and after a while, it is only natural to start questioning whether the goal will ever happen.

Rather than letting doubt creep into our minds, setting mini-goals along the way allows us to experience a feeling of success, even if we still have some way to go. These smaller wins still fill us with the same energy and excitement that accompanies bigger goals, albeit at a slightly lower level. But what is really important is that these performance accomplishments keep our self-efficacy levels nice and high.

If we set ourselves lots of mini challenges on the way to our bigger goals, we will soon find our self-efficacy levels through the roof. Think about how you can break your big goals down to allow you to experience performance accomplishments along the way.

“People’s level of motivation, affective states, and actions are based more on what they believe than on what is objectively the case.” – Albert Bandura

2. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Appropriate Role Modeling

Having a role model is a great way to identify your route to success. If you are on a journey, there is a good chance someone has already taken that path and can help you identify the right way to approach your goal. If someone else has done it, there is no reason you can’t do it too.

However, sometimes our role models can be so far ahead of us, it can feel as if we will never get to their level. Therefore, it is important to either focus on the appropriate phase of your role model’s development or find a number of different role models that you can associate to.

For example, if you are wanting to grow your business, Richard Branson could be a good role model. However, if you are right at the beginning of your journey, it may not be appropriate to read about his Virgin Galactic endeavours, so maybe study his early years in business instead.

3. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Positive Verbal Encouragement

It isn’t difficult to find negative messages that will cause you to question your ability to follow through and be successful with your goals. Often, that negative voice can even live inside our own heads, and it will attempt to be heard any time there is a quiet moment in our day.

Therefore, it is vital we find a way to replace those negative messages with some positive reinforcement at regular intervals. The great thing is, there are so many different ways to accomplish this.

The amount of audio content has gone through the roof, and with the rise in popularity of podcasts as well as companies like Audible making this easily accessible to everyone, there is no reason not to fill your day with positive content. Turn your daily commute, queues and gym time into brain training by replacing your music with positive audio content. Listen to biographies about your role models to hit two self-efficacy boosters at the same time.

Alternatively, get yourself a coach or mentor and schedule regular meetings to assess your progress. Although the entire meeting may not be focused on boosting your self-efficacy, a good coach or mentor will end each meeting making you feel that you can be successful, even with the biggest of challenges.

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

4. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Getting Into The Zone

Lastly, a great way to boost your self-belief and self-efficacy is to use music or film to get you into the zone and help make you feel unstoppable. Do you have a favourite playlist that puts you in the right frame of mind and ready to take on the world? Create a Spotify playlist with all of the tracks you know gets you into an emotional state where you feel unstoppable and make sure you listen to this immediately before you take on any challenging activities.

Alternatively, if you have a little more time and attention to spare, video and film can really get you into the mood. Put on a movie like Rocky and you will immediately want to put on your best grey tracksuit and go for an early morning run through the streets. Alternatively, check out motivational videos on YouTube for more of a bitesize chunk of self-efficacy boosting content.

As you can see, boosting your self-efficacy can be simple and fun and easy to incorporate into your daily routine. Boosting your self-efficacy will encourage you to reach higher with your goals, follow through with your actions and develop the resilience needed to reach the levels of success you deserve. Do something every day to boost your self-efficacy and you’ll amaze yourself with the new levels of results you are able to achieve.  

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Life

Visualizing a Life of Greater Abundance

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Abundance is a spiritual principle that says the universe consists of all that I need and that all I need is available to me right now. We all want abundance, although few of us would say that we have it to the degree that we’d hope for. So what is the problem and how do we get to that state of experiencing it in our daily lives? The real problem—and solution—seems to lie in HOW we view abundance.

All things are energy. Everything that we think of as physical, all matter from the mighty mountains down to the molecules that make them up, is equally energy. Where we sometimes come up against limits in our thinking and in our awareness, however, is in choosing to see what our mind most easily recognizes—form. But if we have the option to view abundance either as a physical concept (individual things that have form and bounded limits) or as one of energy (boundless and infinite) why would we not choose the latter?

Identifying the Problem of Form  

One of my personal abundance blocks is becoming overly preoccupied in physical expressions of that abundance. The recognition of form presents many trip-hazards in the spiritual journey. Our fascination with it tends to often be the meddling of the ego which, of course, idolizes physical or conceptual form as a way to create duality (an I-am-separate-ness) in order to highlight its own existence apart from all other things.

As a matter of course, however, this condensing of infinite abundance into perceivable form is an act of SEVERE limitation. Any time a concept is packaged for convenient consumption it always loses its natural impact.

“You must realize that money is not good or evil; it is a tool for expressing your creative energy in the physical world.” – Stephen Richards

Definition also has the curious effect of opening up the possibility for judgment. For better or worse, we attach values to things. For instance, I might begin to believe that money isn’t really all that important. As crazy as that will sound for some, it has been a lifelong block for me. I see money and I think that I can do without it. Perhaps I feel there are nobler pursuits or possibly I think there may be too much effort to attain it and keep it or even a fear that I may lose it— and then what will I do with myself?

Visualizing Abundance As Energy

To begin the visualization, relax and place yourself in a state of mindful presence. If you are not familiar with this concept it is to simply become very aware of and in-tune with the now-moment. You dis-identify with the regrets (or victories) of the past and worries (or hopes) of the future. It is simply about being aware of NOW. Through this act of presence, you begin to become less attached to conceptual form of any kind, not just time.

Now, subtlety shift your awareness to the concept of abundance. It is important to avoid attaching images of manifested forms to it such as money or possessions. Rather than seeing concepts of what you think abundance should look like, begin to see the essence of abundance itself; energy. With eyes closed, in your state of presence, begin to “see” the waves of energy—the essence of abundance—all around you. Let your imagination vividly take over the visualization. You are directing this mind-movie; let it be as cinematically convincing as you can.

Notice a few things about the nature of this energy:

  • It is formless. There is no firm definition and there are no hard edges.
  • It flows where it wants to and as it wants to. You don’t control it, you can merely accept it.
  • It is infinite. There is a depth to the energy that is powerful and unending.
  • It is friendly. It gravitates toward and lovingly surrounds you.
  • It is good. There is nothing bad to abundance energy and it only has your best interest as its intention.
  • It is complete. The abundance energy is EVERYTHING that is good—health, loving relationships, and financial prosperity—without any definition between each.

This energy is the essence of infinite abundance. Abundance is wholeness and completeness. It is perfection. In many ways it could be described as heaven; the kingdom on earth. The energy is formless—you cannot see it directly as money or health or relationships or wonderful circumstances—but you can sense that all of those things are there. We don’t get a visual cue but we can feel them. There is no specificity or form but rather—at most—shades of energy like the bands of audial or visual frequencies in a spectrum.

Visualizing Yourself As Energy

At the same time view yourself as boundless energy. In your state of presence, this shouldn’t be difficult; you have already risen above the concept of form. In your awareness, recognize that the universe is also within YOU. Abundance is within YOU. Abundance IS you. So visualize yourself a wellspring of infinite energy yourself and allow it to flow out of you and join in dance with the energy around you. In this embrace of energy, you see yourself as one with the universe which is, of course, the epitome of abundance itself.

“We are all wealth. We are all treasure. We are the abundance of all things. Spend yourself completely.” – Bryant McGill

This entire technique is ultimately an act of accepting abundance. All of it is good; there is no reason to fear what may be drawn to you. You are immersing yourself in ALL good things. You are immersed in a sea of EVERY good thing that possibly is or could be by your manifestation of it. THIS is abundance. You are not deprived of any positive, helpful, empowering resource. You are now experiencing completeness.

This technique gets easier and more powerful with practice. I love this visualization because it goes straight to the root of the problem—form identity as it relates to abundance—and deals with it at the elemental level. By removing rigid concepts of abundance I have found that it is much easier to appropriate it into my life. If this has been helpful to you please comment and share that others may find success as well.

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Life

We Know Thoughts Become Things, but Where Did Those Thoughts Come From?

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It’s common knowledge that what we concentrate on over any length of time, manifests. The notion that thoughts precede reality has been around for quite some time and we also know that the intermediate step between thoughts and reality is behavior.

So, we think something, that thought drives a certain behavioral pattern, and enough of that behavior will create whatever that original thought outcome was. But did you ever wonder where those thoughts came from? How many of them came from poor mothers and fathers and preachers and teachers when we were babies?

Let’s face it, our formative years were spent with these aforementioned individuals and they were adults. They may have said things to us that we perhaps misinterpreted because, we were six years old! They weren’t trying to deceive us or teach us something negative. They just assumed that when they said something (and it may not have even been to us) that the listener would be able to connect the dots!

Let me give you an example. When I was growing up my mother, father, and I were watching variety shows on the black and white television set in the middle of our living room, quite often my mother would say, when someone was singing, that they were actually dubbing! In other words, singing to a turned off microphone while the actual recording was actually being played from the sound engineers’ room! She was probably correct! Many of the singers on those old shows were dubbing their studio recordings.

“All action results from thought. So it is thoughts that matter.” – Sai Baba

But she made it seem as if the singer and the host were trying to deceive us. My mother would say something like, “They aren’t singing for real, they’re just moving their lips! Isn’t that terrible?” Now I could never really tell if they were singing, or not, but this was my mom, so I accepted what she said at face value. Except, I really thought those people were terrible people for trying to trick my poor mother and that they were very bad. (Keep in mind, I was 6!)

That script stayed with me long into adulthood, and I very consciously watched out for people that were going to make a fool out of me and I either avoided them or confronted them. That thought pattern of filling in the blanks from what adults told me when I was a child is what I like to call Projective Resolution, can be debilitating. Personally, it sabotaged several meaningful relationships and my first 2 professional positions.

I was able to identify the faulty script years later and resolve it, but I wonder how many more I have playing right now, that I might not be aware of. How about you? What scripts are causing your Projective Resolution?

The reason they are so hard to spot is because we have repeated them so many times for so many years, that they have become a habit and are firmly entrenched into our subconscious minds. But the behavior is real. And it can be devastating!

You may ask if it is possible to eradicate the old scripts and I believe the answer is yes. I did! And without any professional assistance, and well before I had the internet for quick guidance.

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” – Peace Pilgrim

If you think you are a victim of Projective Resolution, try these steps:

  • Step #1: Spend some time in quiet thought, thinking about situations with parents and others when you were a child. It may be helpful to start with your first thought of childhood and work up from there.
  • Step #2: What were some of the admonitions and sayings that were said to you? Perhaps it was “A stitch in time saves 9.” And you were told that so many times that you now take 9 stitches immediately, just in case. You plan, plan, plan! Can that be an OCD?
  • Step #3: Link past experiences to current behavior and tag the behaviors that you want to change. If you can identify current behaviors that are driven by conversations when you were a child and left to “fill in the blanks”, you are well on your way to rewriting the scripts.
  • Step #4: Now that you are an adult, put adult meaning on what the person (the adult) was trying to convey to you when you were a child. (Yes, you can actively role play with that person and talk to them adult-to-adult!)
  • Step #5: Place the proper meaning on that statement now.
  • Step #6: Forgive the adult who may have steered you wrong. They did the best they could at the time with what they had!
  • I hope that you see the moral to this story. Please be carful of what you say to children. They are taking what you say and filling in the blanks. But they are doing so with the mind of a child. If you think in those terms, you may guard your words very carefully.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section below!

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Life

The Simplest Mindset Hack to Get More Out of Life

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Money. Happiness. Success. Love. I think we can all agree that “more” is something we often find ourselves chasing, whether we’re willing to admit it or not, in our businesses, health, relationships and our lives in general.

Typically when we’re looking to increase our income (whether in our business or in our personal accounts) we often look to typical business and career strategies to do so. We look for a new, higher paying job. We open a new location. Work longer hours. Increase or improve our marketing efforts. Attend more networking events. The list goes on and on.

When we’re looking for more love in relationships we may schedule date nights with our significant other. Nag them for attention. Some, even resort to extra-marital affairs to feel the love they need. In health, we hire personal trainers. Go on diets…I’m sure you’re getting the point by now.

All of these strategies, however require us to do more of something. But what if the process to getting more of anything started before all that? What if there was a simple mindset hack that would allow your marketing, networking, dieting, date nights and gym sessions to have a greater impact? What if one behavioral tweak, that involved you doing less would lead to more happiness? More love? Just more!

“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli

The mindset hack to having more

This mindset hack is actually so simple you may not believe me but I’m going to tell you anyways. If you want to start having more in your life, the secret to doing so is to begin accepting compliments.

Yes. You read that right – by beginning to accept compliments we actually increase our ability to earn more money, experience more happiness and have more overall success. Stay with me and I’ll explain how this works.

First, however, I want you to consider this situation and question: Imagine it’s a normal day. It’s not your birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or any other day you’d expect to receive a compliment or gift. It’s just a normal day. You go to work, or maybe you meet a friend for lunch, when, out of nowhere, they compliment you, or buy you a small gift (like a coffee for example).

How do you react? If you’re like the bulk of the population you’ll say something like: “Oh you shouldn’t have” or “The next round is on me” or “This old thing?!” If your reaction is somewhere along these lines, what you are doing is energetically and unconsciously REJECTING the compliment or gift.

In today’s day and age, when someone compliments us, or buys us a small gift (like in the example above) our initial and unconscious reaction is often to reject or block ourselves from receiving it. Most people fear what others think of them, and because we don’t want to appear to be conceited or stuck-up we feel uncomfortable simply saying “thank you!”. In fact, this reaction has become so ingrained in us by society that most people don’t even realize they are doing it!

The second reason we typically reject unexpected compliments or gifts is because it takes us out of the driver’s seat. When we sit back and receive we’re not in control. Think about it, who is in control of the gift/compliment? The giver. Who is in control of the intention? The giver. The giver is also in control of how and when they give it.

The receiver is only in control of their reaction. From a primal and evolutionary standpoint, when we’re not in control we’re vulnerable, exposed, possibly even at a disadvantage. To regain control many people often give a gift or compliment back (“no, no, I’ll buy the coffees today!”) or reject it all together (“oh this dress? I only paid $5 for it”).

The underlying problem

The problem with this primal and societal patterning however, is that it instills a belief in our unconscious minds that it’s unsafe to receive. Our unconscious mind is highly suggestive and completely illogical. Our unconscious mind believes our actions and feelings over our words, and is always processing information from our surroundings and our inner dialogue. Our unconscious minds also love to make associations, so it regularly connects things like beliefs with behaviours that we wouldn’t consciously or logically associate.

When we suggest to our unconscious mind that it is unsafe to receive small things, like a compliment or $5 coffee, the unconscious mind expands this and applies this belief to receiving anything and everything. In our unconscious mind, if a $5 coffee is unsafe to receive, then receiving hundreds, thousands or hundreds of thousands from a client would be life threatening!

Because the brain is also highly symbolic, it perceives all receiving to be the same. This belief then extends a whole lot further than just receiving money. It impacts our ability to receive other revenue or income generating things like referrals, new clients and even opportunities to scale a business to new levels.

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.” – Muhammad Ali

If you’re goal is to grow your income or your business, you may need to do new things like use social media ads or create referral partnerships. However, these activities will prove fruitless if you’ve wired your brain out of receiving the leads you’ll generate!

If you want more love from your partner, it doesn’t matter what they do to show more love, or how many affairs you have, you’ll never see or feel the love they are giving because you’ve blocked yourself from it. The same applies to your health and your life in general, you’ve told the filtering system in your unconscious mind (the Reticular Activating System) that it’s not safe to receive, so you won’t see the opportunities to accept these things.

The next time someone compliments you or buys you a small gift randomly, accept it graciously and simply say “thank you”. Practice this every time someone wants to give you something. Rewiring the brain takes repetition, it’s not enough to accept one compliment and return to your old patterns! Begin implementing this new behavior of receiving today and you’ll start noticing changes in your life and financial situation before the end of the month!

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Motivation

The One Crucial Ingredient for Success That Motivation Can’t Give You

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Some people say motivation is literally the only thing you need to be successful. They say it is the crucial element in setting and attaining goals. But is that really true? A lot of content is produced online that’s aimed to motivate and move you into massive action in the hopes that you’ll finally become successful. (more…)

Janette Getui is a mumpreneur and prosperity guide devoted to showing others how to produce more freedom and opulence in life. She is the co-founder of Bold Beautiful Blissful U and hosts transformational prosperity retreats and masterminds. Known to many as a powerful modern day mystic who has been able to prove through her own journey from the heart of poverty in an African slum to the abundant beach lifestyle that she gets to enjoy in Europe, that overcoming poverty consciousness, limiting beliefs and low self-worth is the fastest way to produce new beginnings and unfold a rich, blissful destiny. Her PH.D in overcoming harsh conditions and mind mastery make connecting with her worthwhile especially if spiritual and financial freedom matters to you. Get her free gift e-book that will enable you to unlock your version of heaven on earth.

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40 Comments

40 Comments

  1. Apeh Kelvin Chibueze

    Jul 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Your writings inspire one and lift off the burden of past regrets on procrastination. I’ve dwelled on procrastination for long and it has really eaten Me up. I’ve that potential to accomplish my vision but how to go about it considering the task involved has really tied Me down all because of procrastination. Yes, I’ve gotten the light! Thanks Man.

  2. Connie

    Jul 30, 2015 at 2:39 am

    TOR, this article will be very helpful. I’m changing careers, even though I am staying in the medical field. This will be of great help in planning things out. I look forward to reading more of your articles. Thank you.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jul 30, 2015 at 9:13 am

      Hi Connie,

      thanks for your comment.

      I`m glad that you found my article useful 🙂

      Feel send me an email if you need any sparring regarding planning or productivity 😉

      Have a great day.

      Best,

      Tor

  3. Brent Jones

    Jun 22, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Awesome Post, Tor! Shared it on all my networks. 🙂

    I like the point about WHY.

    One of my mentors once told me, “Figure out why and how will reveal itself.”

    Seriously, when we can mentally envision what success will look like, it’s 1000x easier to accomplish great things!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:52 am

      Thanks, Brent.

      I really appreciate your support and you sharing the post.

      You are AWESOME 😉

      Yup, one of my mentors actually told me the same line…(true story).

      A strong WHY will make you be able to endure all the challenges, the hardship, go outside your comfort zone and do A LOT of things you REALLY don`t WANT to do…

      …but you will do it, because the big PRIZE at the end of the journey is so WORTH it!

      Have a great day,

      Tor

  4. Sonia Thompson

    Jun 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Hey Tor!

    Killing procrastination is so super important for entrepreneurs, so I’m glad you covered this topic.

    My favorite step is the one about 1 to-do list. I generally only work with one, but as I’ve started working on some bigger projects, I see the importance of writing down ALL the steps that need to happen, and then that then allows me to figure out what’s on the critical path and what’s not – which then helps me create a proper daily task list.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Hi Sonia,

      great to see you here.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Having ONE to do list will totally change your day, your way of working and yes…increase your productivity tremendously.

      By ONLY having 1 to do list, using the 80/20 rules prioritising the most important tasks at any given time, and sorting the priority of the tasks using the ABCDE method, helped me to increase my productivity with 200% in my previous six-figure income job.

      The result was that I was actually able to do in 2 hours what I normally spent 8 hours of doing.

      Side note – this is how the ABCDE method works:

      I Prioritize the tasks using the ABCDE method:

      A :Tasks I must do – serious consequences if it doesn`t get done
      B: Tasks I should do – mild consequences if it doesn`t get done
      C: Tasks I could do – no consequences if it doesn`t get done
      D: Tasks I delegate
      E: Tasks I never do

      You never do a B task before you have done alle the A tasks, and you never do a C task before you have done all the B tasks, etc.

      Have a great day!

      Tor

  5. Hanna

    Jun 22, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Good useful article Tor – my biggest challenge is the WHY, seems it’s just not BIG enough so any tips on finding your WHY would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you for the share.

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      Hi Hanna,

      first of all, regarding finding your WHY. Since I don`t know what type of project you are talking about, it`s hard for me to give a specific feedback.

      THAT being said…

      if you have a challenge to find your big WHY…

      well, most likely you just don`t have a strong WHY for that project / journey.

      Having a PASSION and a strong WHY is like chemistry with someone when you are on a first date.

      Either you have it, or you don`t.

      However, there might be a few exceptions to this.

      Let me tell you this…

      Visit my website and contact me. Shoot me an email with more details, and I can probably give you a much more detailed answer to your specific situation 😉

      Best,

      Tor

  6. Daniela Uslan

    Jun 22, 2015 at 1:25 am

    Hi Tor,

    What a great list of suggestions! One of the tips that I struggle with the most is self discipline. Even when I have a clear goal, a clear WHY, and support, I find myself getting off track and going on Facebook or wasting time. Also having one master list. That sounds so daunting, but yet so simple. I will have to try it! Thanks for the tips!

    Daniela

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 11:49 am

      Hi Daniela,

      thanks for stopping by to comment 🙂

      You have the clear goal, a clear WHY and support?

      That`s great! 🙂

      What you should do is to focus on FOCUSING (yeah, I wrote that sentence on purpose).

      The key about focusing is to remove all distractions; turn off or mute your cellphone, be unavailable to people and TURN OFF your internet connection.

      Yup, you read correct 😉

      When you remove all distractions, and only FOCUS on ONE task at a time, you should be able to get your stuff done 😉

      Have an awesome day!

      Tor

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 24, 2015 at 12:05 pm

      Hi Daniela,

      thanks for stopping by.

      You found your clear goal, a clear WHY and support, right?

      That is GREAT!

      Your next step should be focus on FOCUSING (yeah, I wrote that sentence on purpose 😉 )

      You should remove ALL distractions; mute or turn off your cellphone, make yourself unavailable for other people, and turn off your internet connection.

      Yes, you read correct.

      When you are able to focus on ONE single task at hand, and not being distracted, you will instantly become more productive!

      You can do it 🙂

      Best,

      Tor

  7. Joanna

    Jun 20, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Great post, Tor

    I agree, realising that for the past (insert your number) weeks/months/years you’ve been hitting the wrong goals and ticking off your to-do lists things that don’t really take you where you truly want to go takes a lot of courage and is painful, if not devastating. But if you can take it and turn the learning into a new course of action, then the reward is awesome!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks for commenting, Joanna.

      Yes, heading in the wrong direction can be crippling for your journey.

      However, the good thing is to stop…and take a breath. Get an overview, and see where you are located compared to your target destination.

      It`s important to not beat yourself up if you took the wrong path, but just change the course and find the silver lining in the experience.

      There is nothing that is called good or bad experience. It`s just experience.

      What you do with it is up to you 🙂

      Have a great day.

      Tor

  8. Carol Amato

    Jun 20, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    What an excellent article! Loved each and every point you made – extremely helpful.

    Especially the ‘When’ and ‘Self-Discipline’ sections. Deadlines are great, but if we don’t have the self-discipline to carry them out, we’re lost. LOL Plain old kitchen timer works for me as well as accountability partner.

    Loved the quote you included by Napoleon Hill, so apt here!

    Thanks for sharing, and have a great weekend.

    Carol Amato

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:19 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Carol.

      Yes, self-discipline is perhaps the hardest factor when it comes to reaching your goal and succeed.

      However, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

      A kitchen timer sounds indeed like a great accountability partner 😉

      Have a great day!

      Tor

  9. Andrea Beltrami

    Jun 20, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Epic list, Tor! These seem easy enough but oh how looks can be deceiving. Each one of these has taken a LOT of time for me to wrap my mentality around but I’ve gotten pretty decent at most. Now if I could just implement them all at the same time. Hahaha

    There’s still a nagging need to procrastinate when I’m afraid or when it’s a task I don’t enjoy doing. What can I say, I’m a work in progress…but aren’t we all! 😉

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 21, 2015 at 12:25 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts, Andrea.

      I was struggling a long time with these tips as well. However, when I became good at them, it totally changed my life.

      The difference between successful people and people who are not, is that successful people are willing to improve their most important skills ALL the time, and never be satisfied and procrastinate.

      When we are faced with insecurity or fear, procrastination has a tendency to appear.

      But the more we practice to go outside our comfort zone, do sparring with mentors and get used to handle uncomfortable situations, we will become better at it, and we will procrastinate less when we are faced with a new unknown situation 😉

      Tor

  10. Jenna Dalton

    Jun 19, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Great article, Tor. I love what you said to Sue too – in the comment above – about procrastinating by setting realistic goals that you’ll hit every time.

    I never thought of that being procrastination before but you’re right, it absolutely is!

    Time to go set some bigger goals 🙂

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Jenna.

      It means a lot 🙂

      In a nutshell; when you don`t perform at your best ability to reach your peak potential, you are actually procrastinating.

      It`s a lot like with the “slight edge” principle.

      Person A trains 1 times in the gym per week and just does the bare minimum workout, while person B trains 3 times a week and pushes himself/herself to the limit every single minute of the workout.

      You will probably not see a big difference between those two people when it comes to health and fitness after 1 week, after 1 month, perhaps not after 3 months.

      But after 6 months and more, the difference in their training is starting to show on the outside.

      After 1-2 years, person B will a lightyear ahead.

      How was it accomplished?

      By person B pushing himself to the limit, and doing it consistently.

      THAT is how you reach your peak potential FAST.

      At the end, your success is the sum of all the correct small activities you have completed every single day in order to bring you closer to your peak potential 😉

      Have a great weekend, Jenna.

      Best,

      Tor

      • Jenna Dalton

        Jun 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

        That absolutely makes sense, Tor. I love that way of thinking and have always thought that to be the case myself – it’s not necessarily one big action that gets you results, it’s a bunch of smaller actions put together over time. Smart strategy, my friend. Keep up the great work!

        • Tor Refsland

          Jun 24, 2015 at 11:45 am

          Thanks, Jenna.

          The clue is to take a big hairy goal(DUMB goal) and break it down into smaller manageable goals (SMART goal).

          The same to you, my friend 🙂

          Tor

  11. Dennis Seymour

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Cool post Tor. Goal setting has been a problem for me over the years. I made it a point to address that this year.

    I’m getting things done, though it feels slow, but I am creeping towards accomplishing goals which is the important part!

    You know what would complete this? Tools! Haha 😀 Obsessed with productivity tools.

    Enjoy the weekend!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:20 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Dennis.

      The most important thing is that you are improving 🙂

      Rome wasn`t built in one day 😉

      Productivity can be of great assistance, but at the end of the day, it really comes down to how focused you can work on your most important tasks…every single hour of your workday 😉

      In my experience, too many tools can be counterproductive.

      Have a great weekend 🙂

      Tor

  12. Jane Gordon

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    I have the biggest problem with the “procrastination beast”! Thanks for the tips! 🙂

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:17 am

      Thanks a lot for commenting, Jane.

      I hope that you will start to implement a few of the tips here, so you can handle the beast once and for all 😉

      Have a great weekend.

      Tor

  13. Andrew M. Warner

    Jun 19, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Hey Tor,

    Good stuff here.

    The big hairy goal concept is something that I try to do all the time. It makes it much easier when you actually get to break it down into steps you can take to move forward. I made the mistake before of just trying to do it all at once, which didn’t work.

    You did a great job with this post.

    – Andrew

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:16 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Andrew.

      I really appreciate it 🙂

      Handling a big hairy goal is like handling a 7 course meal. You don`t eat all the courses at once.
      You take ONE course at a time .

      Another big advantage when it comes to handling the smaller goals, is that once you complete a small goal, your confidence increases 😉

      Then you will have more confidence to tackle the next small goal, and when you are about to complete the last small goal (that completes the big hairy goal) your confidence is sky high, you have momentum and you are unstoppable 😉

      Have a great weekend.

      Best,

      Tor

  14. Kevin Duncan

    Jun 19, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Hi Tor,

    Congrats on getting published at Addicted 2 Success! This site is big time. Congratulations, my friend. 🙂

    Procrastination is definitely a killer. It can be such a difficult habit for people to break, but once they do… well, suddenly their lives are ten times less stressful.

    No need staying up until 4am cramming for an exam (because you started studying weeks ago). No need trying to lose 20 pounds in 7 days for your high school reunion (because you started your diet three months ago). No need stressing and worrying over the things you wish hadn’t waited until the last minute to tackle.

    It’s freeing!

    Great steps you’ve shared with all of us, Tor. I’ll be tweeting this shortly.

    Congrats again! Hope you have an awesome Friday and weekend.

    -Kevin

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 20, 2015 at 8:09 am

      Thanks a lot for stopping by to comment, Kevin.

      I really appreciate it, buddy.

      Yes, I totally agree with what you are saying. The difference between suffering from procrastination and being able to live a productive life is like night and day.

      If you don`t kill the procrastination beast and building your dream, you will be building someone else`s.

      Thanks a lot for your great comment.

      Have a great weekend.

      Tor

  15. Peter Banerjea

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:48 am

    Hey Tor!
    Excellent post as usual. Reading your posts is a quick way to get a shot of adrenaline! Keep writing mate!
    Peter

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Hi Peter,

      thanks for stopping by to comment and for your kind words.

      It`s comments like those that makes it worth all the hard work 😉

      Have an awesome day!

      Tor

  16. Anthony Metivier

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:25 am

    All good points, Tor!

    I too like the “big hairy goals,” concept. It begs another metaphor: the big strong comb (or brush).

    But what do you do with the hydra-effect? I mean, what do you do when tackling one item on your to-do lists means creating another to-do list?

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:25 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Anthony.

      Here is how i deal with the “Hydra-effect”.

      If you have a task A on your to do list, it spawns into several subtasks, I use a technique I call the Dependant Subtask principle.

      It works like this:

      Task A spawns into 5 subtasks.

      Task A – subtask A1
      – subtask A2
      – subtask A3
      – subtask A4
      – subtask A5

      You need to complete all 5 subtasks in order to complete task A. If there are dependencies among the subtasks, you range them from A1 to A5, where A1 is the subtask you have to complete first, then A2, A3, etc.

      In other words, I don`t create another to do list, I just take a big task and split it into several subtasks.

      I hope that helps.

      Best,

      Tor

      • Anthony Metivier

        Jun 27, 2015 at 7:51 am

        I like the Dependent Subtask principle. I’m going to put it to work – thank!

        • Tor Refsland

          Jun 27, 2015 at 9:49 am

          Great, Anthony.

          Good luck.

          And let me know how that goes 🙂

          Tor

  17. Sue Anne Dunlevie

    Jun 19, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Hi, Tor,

    Great article! I like setting “big hairy goals” – I don’t always hit them but it’s amazing how many happen.

    “Focus” is my word this year – after consulting with you, I check email much less now.

    Thanks for the info,
    Sue

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, Sue.

      The secret with “big hairy goals” is actually not necessarily to reach them, but that you will push yourself to achieve a BETTER results than if you didn`t set a high goal.

      Nothing is worse than to procrastinate by always setting realistic goals, which you will hit every single time.

      Setting goals is like training in the gym. If you never increase the amount of weights you lift, you will not progress according to your true potential 😉

      Focus is indeed an important ingredient when it comes to increasing your productivity, reaching your goals, being present and more happy.

      Best,

      Tor

  18. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 19, 2015 at 2:58 am

    The three things that I like here that have proved to be the most beneficial for me is having a why, having a plan, and taking action. When you have a why for what you want to do in life and you wake up to your why and a dream, you have motivation. After you have motivation, you need a plan of action, and after you have a plan, you need to take action. This are the true keys to success for me and you nailed it in detail in this article. Thanks for sharing!

    • Tor Refsland

      Jun 19, 2015 at 1:35 pm

      Thanks for commenting and for your kind words, Lawrence.

      Yes, reaching your goals isn`t really that complicated.

      It`s actually SIMPLE (but not easy).

      If you were going to go skiing for 10 kilometers the first time in your life, and you had never done it before, you would probably suck at it.

      The weather might be bad, your technique would be probably be far from perfect, and your skis might not be prepared in the best way.

      However, the only thing standing between you and the 10 kilometers finish line, is if you decide to QUIT.

      It doesn`t matter how bad the weather is, how tired and fed up you are, or how much you suck at skiing.

      If you have a strong enough WHY and you continue to move forward, you WILL reach the finish line eventually.

      That is basically how reaching your goals work 😉

      Have an awesome day.

      Best,

      Tor

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Life

4 Ways to Give Your Self-Efficacy a Serious Boost

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Boosting your self-efficacy is a simple, yet powerful way to improve the levels of success and happiness you experience in your life. Each of us have goals in our lives, but if we don’t believe in our ability to achieve them, then how are we ever going to be successful?

In fact, according to the Theory of Planned Behaviour, our self-efficacy impacts both the goals we set for ourselves, as well as the amount of action we will take. If we have strong self-efficacy, we will aim higher with more ambitious goals as well as be more likely to follow through with the necessary goal-directed behaviours. However, with low levels of self-efficacy, we are likely not even to follow through and pursue even the most meagre of goals.

Therefore, if we have goals in life that are important to us, it is essential we develop and strengthen our self-efficacy.

Luckily, there are 4 simple areas to focus on when it comes to boosting our self-belief:

1. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Creating Mini Wins

One problem with big personal and life goals is that they take a while to realise. Maintaining motivation over a long period of time can be tough, and after a while, it is only natural to start questioning whether the goal will ever happen.

Rather than letting doubt creep into our minds, setting mini-goals along the way allows us to experience a feeling of success, even if we still have some way to go. These smaller wins still fill us with the same energy and excitement that accompanies bigger goals, albeit at a slightly lower level. But what is really important is that these performance accomplishments keep our self-efficacy levels nice and high.

If we set ourselves lots of mini challenges on the way to our bigger goals, we will soon find our self-efficacy levels through the roof. Think about how you can break your big goals down to allow you to experience performance accomplishments along the way.

“People’s level of motivation, affective states, and actions are based more on what they believe than on what is objectively the case.” – Albert Bandura

2. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Appropriate Role Modeling

Having a role model is a great way to identify your route to success. If you are on a journey, there is a good chance someone has already taken that path and can help you identify the right way to approach your goal. If someone else has done it, there is no reason you can’t do it too.

However, sometimes our role models can be so far ahead of us, it can feel as if we will never get to their level. Therefore, it is important to either focus on the appropriate phase of your role model’s development or find a number of different role models that you can associate to.

For example, if you are wanting to grow your business, Richard Branson could be a good role model. However, if you are right at the beginning of your journey, it may not be appropriate to read about his Virgin Galactic endeavours, so maybe study his early years in business instead.

3. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Positive Verbal Encouragement

It isn’t difficult to find negative messages that will cause you to question your ability to follow through and be successful with your goals. Often, that negative voice can even live inside our own heads, and it will attempt to be heard any time there is a quiet moment in our day.

Therefore, it is vital we find a way to replace those negative messages with some positive reinforcement at regular intervals. The great thing is, there are so many different ways to accomplish this.

The amount of audio content has gone through the roof, and with the rise in popularity of podcasts as well as companies like Audible making this easily accessible to everyone, there is no reason not to fill your day with positive content. Turn your daily commute, queues and gym time into brain training by replacing your music with positive audio content. Listen to biographies about your role models to hit two self-efficacy boosters at the same time.

Alternatively, get yourself a coach or mentor and schedule regular meetings to assess your progress. Although the entire meeting may not be focused on boosting your self-efficacy, a good coach or mentor will end each meeting making you feel that you can be successful, even with the biggest of challenges.

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

4. Boost Self-Efficacy Through Getting Into The Zone

Lastly, a great way to boost your self-belief and self-efficacy is to use music or film to get you into the zone and help make you feel unstoppable. Do you have a favourite playlist that puts you in the right frame of mind and ready to take on the world? Create a Spotify playlist with all of the tracks you know gets you into an emotional state where you feel unstoppable and make sure you listen to this immediately before you take on any challenging activities.

Alternatively, if you have a little more time and attention to spare, video and film can really get you into the mood. Put on a movie like Rocky and you will immediately want to put on your best grey tracksuit and go for an early morning run through the streets. Alternatively, check out motivational videos on YouTube for more of a bitesize chunk of self-efficacy boosting content.

As you can see, boosting your self-efficacy can be simple and fun and easy to incorporate into your daily routine. Boosting your self-efficacy will encourage you to reach higher with your goals, follow through with your actions and develop the resilience needed to reach the levels of success you deserve. Do something every day to boost your self-efficacy and you’ll amaze yourself with the new levels of results you are able to achieve.  

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Life

Visualizing a Life of Greater Abundance

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Abundance is a spiritual principle that says the universe consists of all that I need and that all I need is available to me right now. We all want abundance, although few of us would say that we have it to the degree that we’d hope for. So what is the problem and how do we get to that state of experiencing it in our daily lives? The real problem—and solution—seems to lie in HOW we view abundance.

All things are energy. Everything that we think of as physical, all matter from the mighty mountains down to the molecules that make them up, is equally energy. Where we sometimes come up against limits in our thinking and in our awareness, however, is in choosing to see what our mind most easily recognizes—form. But if we have the option to view abundance either as a physical concept (individual things that have form and bounded limits) or as one of energy (boundless and infinite) why would we not choose the latter?

Identifying the Problem of Form  

One of my personal abundance blocks is becoming overly preoccupied in physical expressions of that abundance. The recognition of form presents many trip-hazards in the spiritual journey. Our fascination with it tends to often be the meddling of the ego which, of course, idolizes physical or conceptual form as a way to create duality (an I-am-separate-ness) in order to highlight its own existence apart from all other things.

As a matter of course, however, this condensing of infinite abundance into perceivable form is an act of SEVERE limitation. Any time a concept is packaged for convenient consumption it always loses its natural impact.

“You must realize that money is not good or evil; it is a tool for expressing your creative energy in the physical world.” – Stephen Richards

Definition also has the curious effect of opening up the possibility for judgment. For better or worse, we attach values to things. For instance, I might begin to believe that money isn’t really all that important. As crazy as that will sound for some, it has been a lifelong block for me. I see money and I think that I can do without it. Perhaps I feel there are nobler pursuits or possibly I think there may be too much effort to attain it and keep it or even a fear that I may lose it— and then what will I do with myself?

Visualizing Abundance As Energy

To begin the visualization, relax and place yourself in a state of mindful presence. If you are not familiar with this concept it is to simply become very aware of and in-tune with the now-moment. You dis-identify with the regrets (or victories) of the past and worries (or hopes) of the future. It is simply about being aware of NOW. Through this act of presence, you begin to become less attached to conceptual form of any kind, not just time.

Now, subtlety shift your awareness to the concept of abundance. It is important to avoid attaching images of manifested forms to it such as money or possessions. Rather than seeing concepts of what you think abundance should look like, begin to see the essence of abundance itself; energy. With eyes closed, in your state of presence, begin to “see” the waves of energy—the essence of abundance—all around you. Let your imagination vividly take over the visualization. You are directing this mind-movie; let it be as cinematically convincing as you can.

Notice a few things about the nature of this energy:

  • It is formless. There is no firm definition and there are no hard edges.
  • It flows where it wants to and as it wants to. You don’t control it, you can merely accept it.
  • It is infinite. There is a depth to the energy that is powerful and unending.
  • It is friendly. It gravitates toward and lovingly surrounds you.
  • It is good. There is nothing bad to abundance energy and it only has your best interest as its intention.
  • It is complete. The abundance energy is EVERYTHING that is good—health, loving relationships, and financial prosperity—without any definition between each.

This energy is the essence of infinite abundance. Abundance is wholeness and completeness. It is perfection. In many ways it could be described as heaven; the kingdom on earth. The energy is formless—you cannot see it directly as money or health or relationships or wonderful circumstances—but you can sense that all of those things are there. We don’t get a visual cue but we can feel them. There is no specificity or form but rather—at most—shades of energy like the bands of audial or visual frequencies in a spectrum.

Visualizing Yourself As Energy

At the same time view yourself as boundless energy. In your state of presence, this shouldn’t be difficult; you have already risen above the concept of form. In your awareness, recognize that the universe is also within YOU. Abundance is within YOU. Abundance IS you. So visualize yourself a wellspring of infinite energy yourself and allow it to flow out of you and join in dance with the energy around you. In this embrace of energy, you see yourself as one with the universe which is, of course, the epitome of abundance itself.

“We are all wealth. We are all treasure. We are the abundance of all things. Spend yourself completely.” – Bryant McGill

This entire technique is ultimately an act of accepting abundance. All of it is good; there is no reason to fear what may be drawn to you. You are immersing yourself in ALL good things. You are immersed in a sea of EVERY good thing that possibly is or could be by your manifestation of it. THIS is abundance. You are not deprived of any positive, helpful, empowering resource. You are now experiencing completeness.

This technique gets easier and more powerful with practice. I love this visualization because it goes straight to the root of the problem—form identity as it relates to abundance—and deals with it at the elemental level. By removing rigid concepts of abundance I have found that it is much easier to appropriate it into my life. If this has been helpful to you please comment and share that others may find success as well.

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Life

We Know Thoughts Become Things, but Where Did Those Thoughts Come From?

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It’s common knowledge that what we concentrate on over any length of time, manifests. The notion that thoughts precede reality has been around for quite some time and we also know that the intermediate step between thoughts and reality is behavior.

So, we think something, that thought drives a certain behavioral pattern, and enough of that behavior will create whatever that original thought outcome was. But did you ever wonder where those thoughts came from? How many of them came from poor mothers and fathers and preachers and teachers when we were babies?

Let’s face it, our formative years were spent with these aforementioned individuals and they were adults. They may have said things to us that we perhaps misinterpreted because, we were six years old! They weren’t trying to deceive us or teach us something negative. They just assumed that when they said something (and it may not have even been to us) that the listener would be able to connect the dots!

Let me give you an example. When I was growing up my mother, father, and I were watching variety shows on the black and white television set in the middle of our living room, quite often my mother would say, when someone was singing, that they were actually dubbing! In other words, singing to a turned off microphone while the actual recording was actually being played from the sound engineers’ room! She was probably correct! Many of the singers on those old shows were dubbing their studio recordings.

“All action results from thought. So it is thoughts that matter.” – Sai Baba

But she made it seem as if the singer and the host were trying to deceive us. My mother would say something like, “They aren’t singing for real, they’re just moving their lips! Isn’t that terrible?” Now I could never really tell if they were singing, or not, but this was my mom, so I accepted what she said at face value. Except, I really thought those people were terrible people for trying to trick my poor mother and that they were very bad. (Keep in mind, I was 6!)

That script stayed with me long into adulthood, and I very consciously watched out for people that were going to make a fool out of me and I either avoided them or confronted them. That thought pattern of filling in the blanks from what adults told me when I was a child is what I like to call Projective Resolution, can be debilitating. Personally, it sabotaged several meaningful relationships and my first 2 professional positions.

I was able to identify the faulty script years later and resolve it, but I wonder how many more I have playing right now, that I might not be aware of. How about you? What scripts are causing your Projective Resolution?

The reason they are so hard to spot is because we have repeated them so many times for so many years, that they have become a habit and are firmly entrenched into our subconscious minds. But the behavior is real. And it can be devastating!

You may ask if it is possible to eradicate the old scripts and I believe the answer is yes. I did! And without any professional assistance, and well before I had the internet for quick guidance.

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” – Peace Pilgrim

If you think you are a victim of Projective Resolution, try these steps:

  • Step #1: Spend some time in quiet thought, thinking about situations with parents and others when you were a child. It may be helpful to start with your first thought of childhood and work up from there.
  • Step #2: What were some of the admonitions and sayings that were said to you? Perhaps it was “A stitch in time saves 9.” And you were told that so many times that you now take 9 stitches immediately, just in case. You plan, plan, plan! Can that be an OCD?
  • Step #3: Link past experiences to current behavior and tag the behaviors that you want to change. If you can identify current behaviors that are driven by conversations when you were a child and left to “fill in the blanks”, you are well on your way to rewriting the scripts.
  • Step #4: Now that you are an adult, put adult meaning on what the person (the adult) was trying to convey to you when you were a child. (Yes, you can actively role play with that person and talk to them adult-to-adult!)
  • Step #5: Place the proper meaning on that statement now.
  • Step #6: Forgive the adult who may have steered you wrong. They did the best they could at the time with what they had!
  • I hope that you see the moral to this story. Please be carful of what you say to children. They are taking what you say and filling in the blanks. But they are doing so with the mind of a child. If you think in those terms, you may guard your words very carefully.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section below!

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Life

The Simplest Mindset Hack to Get More Out of Life

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Money. Happiness. Success. Love. I think we can all agree that “more” is something we often find ourselves chasing, whether we’re willing to admit it or not, in our businesses, health, relationships and our lives in general.

Typically when we’re looking to increase our income (whether in our business or in our personal accounts) we often look to typical business and career strategies to do so. We look for a new, higher paying job. We open a new location. Work longer hours. Increase or improve our marketing efforts. Attend more networking events. The list goes on and on.

When we’re looking for more love in relationships we may schedule date nights with our significant other. Nag them for attention. Some, even resort to extra-marital affairs to feel the love they need. In health, we hire personal trainers. Go on diets…I’m sure you’re getting the point by now.

All of these strategies, however require us to do more of something. But what if the process to getting more of anything started before all that? What if there was a simple mindset hack that would allow your marketing, networking, dieting, date nights and gym sessions to have a greater impact? What if one behavioral tweak, that involved you doing less would lead to more happiness? More love? Just more!

“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli

The mindset hack to having more

This mindset hack is actually so simple you may not believe me but I’m going to tell you anyways. If you want to start having more in your life, the secret to doing so is to begin accepting compliments.

Yes. You read that right – by beginning to accept compliments we actually increase our ability to earn more money, experience more happiness and have more overall success. Stay with me and I’ll explain how this works.

First, however, I want you to consider this situation and question: Imagine it’s a normal day. It’s not your birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or any other day you’d expect to receive a compliment or gift. It’s just a normal day. You go to work, or maybe you meet a friend for lunch, when, out of nowhere, they compliment you, or buy you a small gift (like a coffee for example).

How do you react? If you’re like the bulk of the population you’ll say something like: “Oh you shouldn’t have” or “The next round is on me” or “This old thing?!” If your reaction is somewhere along these lines, what you are doing is energetically and unconsciously REJECTING the compliment or gift.

In today’s day and age, when someone compliments us, or buys us a small gift (like in the example above) our initial and unconscious reaction is often to reject or block ourselves from receiving it. Most people fear what others think of them, and because we don’t want to appear to be conceited or stuck-up we feel uncomfortable simply saying “thank you!”. In fact, this reaction has become so ingrained in us by society that most people don’t even realize they are doing it!

The second reason we typically reject unexpected compliments or gifts is because it takes us out of the driver’s seat. When we sit back and receive we’re not in control. Think about it, who is in control of the gift/compliment? The giver. Who is in control of the intention? The giver. The giver is also in control of how and when they give it.

The receiver is only in control of their reaction. From a primal and evolutionary standpoint, when we’re not in control we’re vulnerable, exposed, possibly even at a disadvantage. To regain control many people often give a gift or compliment back (“no, no, I’ll buy the coffees today!”) or reject it all together (“oh this dress? I only paid $5 for it”).

The underlying problem

The problem with this primal and societal patterning however, is that it instills a belief in our unconscious minds that it’s unsafe to receive. Our unconscious mind is highly suggestive and completely illogical. Our unconscious mind believes our actions and feelings over our words, and is always processing information from our surroundings and our inner dialogue. Our unconscious minds also love to make associations, so it regularly connects things like beliefs with behaviours that we wouldn’t consciously or logically associate.

When we suggest to our unconscious mind that it is unsafe to receive small things, like a compliment or $5 coffee, the unconscious mind expands this and applies this belief to receiving anything and everything. In our unconscious mind, if a $5 coffee is unsafe to receive, then receiving hundreds, thousands or hundreds of thousands from a client would be life threatening!

Because the brain is also highly symbolic, it perceives all receiving to be the same. This belief then extends a whole lot further than just receiving money. It impacts our ability to receive other revenue or income generating things like referrals, new clients and even opportunities to scale a business to new levels.

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.” – Muhammad Ali

If you’re goal is to grow your income or your business, you may need to do new things like use social media ads or create referral partnerships. However, these activities will prove fruitless if you’ve wired your brain out of receiving the leads you’ll generate!

If you want more love from your partner, it doesn’t matter what they do to show more love, or how many affairs you have, you’ll never see or feel the love they are giving because you’ve blocked yourself from it. The same applies to your health and your life in general, you’ve told the filtering system in your unconscious mind (the Reticular Activating System) that it’s not safe to receive, so you won’t see the opportunities to accept these things.

The next time someone compliments you or buys you a small gift randomly, accept it graciously and simply say “thank you”. Practice this every time someone wants to give you something. Rewiring the brain takes repetition, it’s not enough to accept one compliment and return to your old patterns! Begin implementing this new behavior of receiving today and you’ll start noticing changes in your life and financial situation before the end of the month!

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