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The Art of Charm’s Jordan Harbinger on His Top Networking Sins and How to Avoid Them



Jordan Harbinger knows a thing or two about networking and relationships. He’s the host of the Art Of Charm podcast, which helps over two million listeners a month start, maintain, and grow their business relationships.

Before all that though Jordan was an attorney on Wall Street. He found himself working side by side with people who had left their families to take this job. In his recent interview with entrepreneur and investor Matt Bodnar on The Science of Success Podcast, Harbinger explains what set him apart from the herd of extremely ambitious individuals.

“I found this sort of secret, hidden path I should say, to the top,” Harbinger tells Bodnar.”I had previously thought, you work your way to the top, put in your time, and then you get introduced along the way to all these high level people and you start hanging out and throwing each other deals, and it turns out it kind of happens the other way around” Harbinger explains.

“Pulling a good network together takes effort, sincerity and time.” – Alan Collins

So Harbinger began working on his relationship building skills and before long found his niche helping others work on their skills as well. “It’s a whole different skill set that’s a lot harder,” he tells Bodnar. “What got you into the Wall Street firm is not necessarily going to get you to the top…it’s two totally different skills.” Noting that books smarts is often not enough to reach the next level of what many define as success.

Throughout the years Jordan developed a list of networking sins he shared with The Science of Success that he recommends everyone, no matter the stage of your career avoid falling prey to.

Check them out below:

1. Failing to dig the well before you are thirsty

“A lot of people look at what they can get out of an interaction instead of what they can give. You fail to think about how this looks from other people’s perspectives.” Explains Harbinger. The thought being that before you can begin asking connections for favors you ought to add value to them and see things from their perspective. He continues, “You have to be out there helping people get what they want before there’s an agenda on the table.”

2. Keeping score

“So what a lot of people do is they do this weird tit for tat, and there’s kind of a fine line here” he tells Bodnar. Harbinger brings up a time when a friend offered to do him a big favor and in the end, couldn’t deliver and wasted no time in turning around and asking him for a huge favor immediately after. “That’s not really a fair trade, because it’s a covert contract. You’re waiting for me to accept what I think is a favor, then bait and switch…Just Kidding! It’s a trade!” Offering a connection, a favor for the sole purpose of gaining leverage for your own gain is not the way to a strong and lasting relationship.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” – Keith Ferrazzi

3. Thinking you’re the one that has to deliver

“What I mean by that is that you’re the one who has to help everyone out.” Jordan uses an example of someone asking you for decorating advice. “Oh man, I wish I could help Jordan but I’m not a decorator… so I can’t help him out” Well… turns out you can! “Connect people in your network with each other, because as you do that, your network grows and your relationships grow.” Before you know it you’re the go-to guy who your connections feel indebted to for introducing them to others who can help them reach their goals.

“What we say at Art of Charm is always be giving, ABG” Harbinger tells Bodnar. “That means always be looking for ways to help other people without worrying about what you’re going to get in return, and when you constantly make that the practice instead of angling on how to get things from other people, you inevitably end up getting things back.”

You can listen to Jordan’s full hour long interview with Matt on Matt’s website or on iTunes, Stitcher, or the Android Store.

Matt Bodnar, named a “Rising Restaurateur Star” by the National Restaurant Association and a “Strategy Pro” by Restaurant Hospitality Magazine, is a partner at an early stage investment firm Fresh Hospitality where he focuses on deal making and strategy. Bodnar is also the creator and host of "The Science of Success" a #1 New & Noteworthy podcast, with more than 1 Million+ downloads, focused on improving decision-making, understanding psychology, and sharing insights from experts. Bodnar previously worked as an import/export consultant in Nanjing, China and spent several years at Goldman Sachs before returning to his family roots in the hospitality space.

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6 Smart Moves to Grow Your Business and Your Profits

Practical strategies that companies use to guarantee long-term growth while increasing profitability



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Businesses that neglect workplace fraud detection are leaving themselves open to catastrophic losses



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Lessons We Can All Learn From Martin Luther King Jr.’s Leadership

While reflecting on the magnificent life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I began to uncover what truly made Dr. King such a powerful leader



mlk jr

While reflecting on the magnificent life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I began to uncover what truly made Dr. King such a powerful leader. Many revere him for the change he brought forth so it’s no wonder that he was heavily influenced by the man who said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. He embodied that statement on the deepest level and lead people through one of the most challenging yet historic times in our nation. 

But what was it that made Dr. King’s movement so different than the rest? A quality that transcends ego and unites a people so divided? 

My greatest and most moving discovery while studying the life of Dr. King was the very answer to our question. 

Yes, he had the personality to be a leader, yes he had the bravery to use his voice, yes he evoked REAL change in government and policies, but the manifestation of all those comes from his willingness to lead a movement truly rooted in consciousness. 

A peaceful approach

Dr. King was continuously met with frustration, hate, and even violence by both law enforcement and those who wanted to fight for equality through violence. But the more violent things became, the more he dug his heels into a peaceful approach. Dr. King’s unwavering faith in the power to lead with peace and not violence is undoubtedly why his legacy is such a pillar of our nation still to this day. It is easier to fight.

Hate, anger and separateness from one another are primitive emotions on the emotional scale of well being but It takes awareness, understanding and elevated consciousness to move from a place of peace and understanding. Dr. King knew that we all have access to these states of higher consciousness and that our true power lies in a peaceful approach.

He is an example of the truest essence of our consciousness in this human experience. How to truly love your neighbor as yourself. 

Conscious compassion

Even the strongest opponents are human. Meet hate with love + compassion for the enemy” he said. It wasn’t his resistance to violence that made him a peacemaker, but rather his commitment to keeping compassion and connection to all humanity at the forefront of his movement. A profound understanding that underneath all the hate, violence and discrimination, we are all one. We all come from the same source and we are all human.

A conscious king

A man of his position, his power, his following could have been easily swayed by the human temptations of the ego. But he remained steadfast in his cause to bring forth real change. He understood on the deepest level that we are truly a stronger force in the universe when we move as one unit, with one mind, and one goal. That the separation from one another is the weakness of humanity. That our strength is in those things that unite us all, the qualities that give us life.

His success was in uniting not just the people of America but the consciousness of America.

No matter our gender, or our social class or our color, we all love, and we all seek peace. We all feel joy and happiness, we all want to be met with compassion and understanding. 

His cause went far beyond the need for physical freedom and equal rights. His cause was for freedom of mind, freedom of heart, freedom to be one. 

Lead with love

In his last speech he said, “I may not get there with you, but we AS A PEOPLE will get to the promise land”. And we will. At some point, we will inevitably come back to this oneness that we all come from.

The truth is? We don’t know when our last day is. Our last march. Our last speech. So this Martin Luther King Jr. Day I ask you, what will your legacy be? Are you leading a life founded in the principles of Dr. King’s movement, founded in the higher consciousness of humanity? Every moment is an opportunity to love, to show compassion, to bring forth peace and in the words of Dr. King “The time is always right to do what is right”.

Dr. King said, “I’m here to remind you, we’ve come a longggg way, but there is still work to be done”. 

And I’m here to remind you this Martin Luther King Jr. day in 2024 that we HAVE come a longggg way, but there is still work to be done. 

His fight is our fight. His mind is our mind. His spirit is our spirit. Rooted in the consciousness of all humanity. We are all one. And when we embrace the understanding of that, we will truly say

“Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank God Almighty, We are Free at Last”.

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