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3 Simple Steps to Living Your Best Life Right Now

If our desire is to fill that success-sized hole in our lives, then we must evolve, and we must change. 

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The weather was outstanding in the Northeast last week, and I decided to take full advantage by going to the beach. 

Thankfully, it’s only a 5-minute drive. 

There’s nothing like sitting on the beach in CT in early spring.

I sat at the edge of the beach right before the amazing beach homes start.

To my left was an outcropping of rocks ranging from a foot high to about 4 feet tall. I didn’t count them, but there were probably 30-40 of them.

Two little kids, probably 6 to 7, were playing on them and having the time of their lives.

Their mother walked over and asked what they were up to, and this was the response.

“We’re two white tigers, and this is our home. This is the kitchen, that’s the bathroom, here’s our kitchen table, and that’s the refrigerator. The bedrooms are over there.”

Bear in mind they were pointing at rocks. 

“And you’re the mommy white tiger, and you’re going to go hunt food for us to cook.”

When we’re children, our lives are rooted in creativity

Everything is possible, and we cast no judgments on our creation. 

It never crosses our mind that a rock can’t be a refrigerator. 

In fact, if an adult or older child were to come along and say, “It’s not a refrigerator; it’s a rock,” the little kid would look at them like they’re the crazy person in this equation. 

Our world is one of creation, authenticity, and joy.

As we age, our creativity becomes silly, not practical, unrealistic, and “you don’t understand how things work.”

We’re told we have to “buckle down.”

It becomes unsafe to create, which is a massive component of our authenticity.

When our creativity is slowly wrung out of us, so is our willingness to be authentic.

We develop the belief that it’s not safe to be who we are and that we have to become who we believe we have to be so we can be safe.

We drop our role as creators and take on the role of the chaser.

We chase approval and acceptance from others based on what we believe will earn us approval and acceptance. 

We chase and chase and chase, and maybe, we earn approval and acceptance from others – and it feels fantastic.

Until it doesn’t. 

“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

Around the midpoint of our lives, we begin to feel like something is off and missing. 

We may have professional and materialistic success, but we also have a success-sized hole in the middle of our lives, and no matter how much we chase, we’ll never fill it. 

Because we’ve been running towards the approval and acceptance from others while simultaneously running from the one person’s approval and acceptance we truly desire:

Ourselves.

We’ve created lives based on someone’s blueprint and wonder why we don’t feel comfortable in our own skin. 

The inflection point between our 1st and 2nd half of life is one of the most significant opportunities presented to us.

Do we continue to move forward as is, hoping life will magically change?

Or, 

Do we accept that what we’re doing isn’t creating the life we want to live, and for change to occur, we must change? 

Do we draft a new blueprint that will carry us into our 2nd half with a sense of mission, meaning, and fulfillment?

Do we reinvent our identity from the chaser back to the creator?

If our desire is to fill that success-sized hole in our lives, then we must evolve, and we must change. 

However, that change can feel overwhelming and terrifying. It can feel like we have to give up everything we’ve worked so hard to create, and we don’t know who we’ll be when we make this change.

We threaten our fabricated identity, and the ground beneath our feet collapses. 

The evolution from chaser to creator doesn’t need to be that challenging.

Here are 3 simple steps you can take today to create your extraordinary second half.

1. Unfulfilled Dreams

We must identify what calls to us from our early childhood, teenage years, and twenties.

Is it breathing life into that Civil War epic, working with our hands, teaching, or learning to play an instrument?

What do we regret not doing?

Achieving clarity on our unfulfilled dreams is critical to our evolution from chaser to creator. 

2. Core Values

Our core values are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our decisions and actions. They are the foundation of who we are and what we stand for.

When we clearly understand our core values, we are better equipped to make decisions that align with our true selves. We are more likely to pursue goals and activities that bring us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. 

How do your core values align with your unfulfilled dreams?

3. Awe & Wonder

We must remind ourselves what creating feels like in our body and mind.

But how?

We cultivate creativity through the experiences we choose to have.

When those experiences are novel, when they ignite awe and wonder, when they’re moments of truth and beauty, we cultivate creativity and create meaning.

Immersing ourselves in nature, museums, or concerts and doing what we say we’d never do are an easy start. 

When we experience novelty, awe, wonder, truth, and beauty, we cultivate creativity and experience meaning.

We reignite our childhood creativity. 

Individually these 3 steps have the power to change our lives and provide a tremendous ROI.

All 3 combined, and we’ll create the extraordinary second half we’ve dreamed of. 

Craig Stanland is a Reinvention Architect & Mindset Coach, TEDx & Keynote Speaker, and the Best-Selling Author of "Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison." He specializes in working with high-achievers who've chased success, money, and status in their 1st half, only to find a success-sized hole in their lives. He helps them tap into their full potential, break free from autopilot, draft a new life blueprint, and connect with their Life's Mission so they can create their extraordinary 2nd half with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Connect with him here

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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