Connect with us

Success Advice

Two Questions That Must Be Answered for Your Personal Success

Published

on

personal success
Image Credit: Unsplash

As a practitioner and facilitator of goal setting for the past 30 years, I can say that while I believe in the process of goal setting, it has become a little too restrictive. By that I mean that many of the books on goals setting require boxes to be checked, forms to be filled, I’s to be dotted, and T’s to be crossed.

In the past, three questions had to be answered for goal setting to work its magic. The first question was WHAT do you want. Obviously if you set a goal, it is to acquire something. It could be something tangible like a vacation or a house or relationship, or it could be intangible such as greater patience, better organization, or an elevated level of interpersonal skills.

The next question that had to be answered was WHY do you want it. The underlying psychology behind answering the why question was an internal rationalization process that supposedly set the subconscious at ease and allowed the goal setter to act with effortless execution.

The last question that had to be answered was HOW do you derive what you want. This is a process that I called in my first book, Goals Book, functional decomposition. By that I meant, you break the goal down into imperceptible, almost subconscious behavioral steps that need to be posted into your calendar and acted upon daily.

Guess what? The above process works, and it works well. However, for as many successes as there are in the process there are typically many more failures. The reason behind the number of failures we experience has to do with the rigid, unforgiving process that we put ourselves through on a daily basis, and the guilt that arises from not accomplishing some of the action steps necessary to achieve our goal.

“Don’t bury your failures, let them inspire you.” – Robert Kiyosaki

For years I thought to myself, there has to be a better way to reach your goals, and I believe I found it! The questions haven’t changed, only their underlying motivation. Let me explain:

When there is something that is wanted, it becomes the WHAT. The what process is logical and scientific. Perhaps what you want is not logical or scientific, but asking the what question is. For example, if you need a new car, the what is very simple, it is a new car. Since we all know that a car is a mode of transportation, and transportation in modern society is necessary, wanting a new car is a very logical process.

However, the WHY, is an emotional process. So, the next question after what kind of a car do you want, is why do you want that one in particular, and this is the type of question that evokes emotion.

Perhaps you want a minivan for your growing family because you feel guilty by cramming your partner, three kids, and ice hockey equipment into your current vehicle. Perhaps you are looking for a high-end sports car that you consider to be an emotional extension of your personality. It really doesn’t matter; the fact is the WHY question is emotional.

It’s the HOW question that I have studied the most. Instead of the process of functional decomposition to determine every point perhaps, I thought, that not worrying so much about the how, and let it unfold before you is enough.

Jack Canfield suggested that you could drive across the United States from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean at night only using your headlights. That means that you can travel 4000 miles by only seeing 200 feet in front of you. The how will unfold every 200 feet!

Using this more contemplative approach to goal setting works. Let me give you the steps below:

Step 1: Determine your WHAT. During this process, be as focused and as logical as possible as to what it is you are looking to have, to accomplish, or to become. See what you want in all of its visual splendor. Use your other senses as you see fit.

Step 2: Determine your WHY. In this step, you need to get excited about what you are looking for. This is not just sensual, but emotional! I want you getting so excited about what you want or what you are going to become that it brings a tear to your eye. When you combine the what and the why, that is logic and emotion working together.

Step 3: Don’t worry about the HOW! Yes, your reading that correctly. As long as you can see 200 feet in front of you, that is the next necessary action step. I have been using the system for several years now, and it works! It got me to move to Costa Rica without a clear plan and yet as I am writing this, I am in the process of opening up yet another business! I could never have done this if I try to plan for it.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” – Pablo Picasso

If you are metaphysical, you can say you threw it out to the universe. If you are psychological, you can say that you made micro adjustments to your subconscious that brought about the desired result. If you are theological, you could say that God helps those who help themselves.

If you’re like me, you realize it’s a combination of all three, and you keep moving forward. I have found that this process has literally changed my life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below about this method of goal setting!

Biagio Sciacca, known to his friends as Bill, was a lifelong resident of Pittston, PA. He is the owner of Intelligent Motivation, Inc. a global consulting and training firm specializing in management and leadership training as well as psychological assessment for hiring and staff development. He is the author of several books relating to goal setting, and his third book, Provocative Leadership, is publishing soon. Now residing in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, he divides his time between his international coaching and training clients, writing his next book and wandering aimlessly on the beach. Feel free to contact Bill at bill@intelligentmotivationinc.com or schedule a call with him by going to www.intelligentmotivationinc.com and clicking on the “set up a call” tab.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

A viral TikTok resume trick promises interviews overnight, yet one wrong move could blacklist you from future jobs.

Published

on

AI resume hacks
Image Credit: Midjourney

Your job hunt has stalled out. After weeks of submitting online applications, you haven’t had a nibble. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

Published

on

harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

Continue Reading

Change Your Mindset

Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen

Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.

Published

on

workplace stress management techniques
Image Credit: Midjourney

Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)

Continue Reading

Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

Published

on

happiness model explained
Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending