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Why Knowing Your “Why” Is Your Greatest Tool for Success

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Wow, this is hard! Did I really sign up for this? I am about to throw in the towel! Are these the questions keeping you up at night as you push yourself along your entrepreneurial journey? Unfortunately, this happens at all stages. We live in a noisy and competitive world and maintaining the status quo is no longer accepted. Which means we are constantly having to change directions and conquer doubts.  

Today more startups, apps, and ideas are entering into the marketplace than ever before, and it’s getting tougher and tougher to get the attention of your target audience. One day you’re on an extreme high and the next you find it hard to pick up the phone after a tough defeat. But what keeps us pushing even when all seems lost and traction is limited? Insanity? A short-term memory?

Not really, but kind of! If you find yourself able to push forward in spite of never-ending setbacks, then you have probably been able to identify your strong “why”. There are several kinds of whys, such as the “why you want to get that next sale.” But your strongest Why is the reason that you will continue to push for that sale even when the previous attempts have failed. Your strong “why” is the reason you continue to push when validation comes few and far between.

Why your “why” is so important.

Having a strong “why” is what keeps you in the fight when everyone else quits. A strong “why” is what motivates your team when all seems lost. A strong “why” is the reason you will succeed while everyone else fails.

In the back of your mind, you might have a vague understanding of your own why. But clearly defining and identifying this why is crucial for long-term success.  So how do you define your “why”? Or as I would say, your “internal motivator: Seven-whys deep.”

Let’s use a common goal like weight loss or getting fit. We all know at the start of each year millions of newly motivated resolutioners flock to the gym with hopes of changing their lifestyle and decreasing waistlines. Most of these individuals come face to face with the confining realities of their prior lifestyle, and remember why they didn’t workout in the first place.

“There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.” – William Barclay

Most individuals fail to succeed in their New Year’s Resolution goals, not because they lack commitment, but rather their “why” was too superficial. They didn’t dig deep enough or ask enough “why’s” to keep them pushing when life got in the way.

So what does this look like in application? Where do most fall off when it comes to the motivation wagon? When thinking about your goal, your weight loss journey, or even taking the entrepreneurship leap, first ask yourself “why do I want this?”

Example:

Person 1: I want to lose 10 pounds (this is where most people stop)

Person 2: Great! Why?

Person 1: Umm…(uncomfortable silence) Because I do!

Person 2: OK, what will losing 10 pounds do for you?

Person 1: Well it will help me fit into those jeans I used to fit into years ago.

Person 2: Great! So what will fitting in those jeans do for you?

Person 1: It will make me feel sexy!

Person 2: Great! What will feeling sexy do for you?

Person 1: Then Tyler (or insert any name here) will like me.

Person 2: Great! What will…?(I think you get my point.)

So, for Person 1, working out to get Tyler to notice her is what will get her to wake up at 5AM in the morning, change her eating habits, and get her on the right track towards her decreased waistline. Now, I know I will get hate mail from people saying, “That’s a superficial why!” Really!

See, the thing is I never told you your “why” had to be altruistic or even make much sense. The only purpose of defining your “why” is to help you, or push you, when you are facing tough challenges or when you feel like quitting.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Your why is your motivator.

Sometimes the worst thing you can do for someone is to try to rationalize and justify their “why” for them. To them, their “why” is their motivator, their nonexistent exit strategy, their reason to continue when the whole world tells them to quit.

I know some people’s “whys” may sound crazy, but to them it makes perfect sense. For me, no matter what, I really only hear the negative because it motivates me to prove people wrong. Is it really not good enough?

Maybe…

Is my reasoning healthy? Probably not. But who cares as it keeps me pushing day and night to exceed my expectations from the day before. I am motivated by negative reinforcement over positive. I guess it’s the athlete in me.

For you though, whatever pushes you to move through the noise and past the struggle is the strongest weapon in your arsenal. The strong “why” will be the reason you think of alternative solutions instead of throwing in the towel.

Important Tip: Accept that your strong “why” may lose its effect and no longer keep you motivated. Don’t worry, that’s normal. If that ever happens, go back to the drawing board and restart the multi-level why process to redefine your internal motivation.

Memorize it, write it down and pin it to your dashboard or somewhere else you will see it regularly. This simple task will help you in business, fitness, or in any goal you wish to pursue.Remember, your “why” is a deadly weapon. Use it wisely!

What is your why and how has it propelled you towards success? Please leave your thoughts below!

AK Ikwuakor, also known as Coach AK, President and Founder of Empower 2 Play, is a Sports Humanitarian, Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, former All-American Athlete and education expert who has worked with thousands of students and community leaders from around the world. AK uses sports-themed initiatives and VR technology to bridge cultures and communities as well as connect youth leaders from around the world to foster empathy and promote peace. AK has appeared in numerous print ads and TV commercials for companies such as Nike, Yurbuds, Women’s Health, Sony, Fox Sports, The Doctors and Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader? Unfortunately, he was not smarter than a 5th grader! AK is always looking to connect (Linkedin) with like-minded individuals wanting to make a positive impact on the world. The question is who are willing to take the risk?

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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