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How You Know You Are A Hopeless Romantic Just Like Me

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I figured out recently that I’m nothing more than a hopeless romantic. When you’re single, you learn things about yourself that you’d forgotten. This is one of those points for me. Hopeless romantics like me are nothing more than dreamers who want the world to be awesome.

Who doesn’t want to be in love with love? Love can bring you more magic than any form of money or achievement can. Love is the secret ingredient to happiness, and that’s why I think I’m a hopeless romantic. In the end, I just want people to be awesome to each other and have the time of their lives.

We only get one shot so why not do it in a classy way with our best friend love? There are 7 signs that you are a hopeless romantic like me and here they are:

 

1. You think about your dream partner all the time

As a hopeless romantic you often find yourself in quiet moments daydreaming about your dream partner who doesn’t even know you like them yet. You are obsessed with the idea of being with this person, and you have thoughts of experiencing phenomenal places together.

You think about traveling with them and realise how much better overseas can be when you share it with someone else. Going around the world by yourself is only fun for so long. Eventually, you have to wake the hell up and understand what real success is.

Sometimes, you wake up in the middle of the night fantasising about the way they make you feel, and you swear that if you ever get the chance, you’ll finally take the plunge like all of your other friends.

 

2. You enjoy fireplaces

Put on any good romantic movie, and there is a strong chance of a fireplace being present. Us hopeless romantics seem to be drawn to the smell of charcoal and the heat that a fireplace gives us. Even when we go to the local market, and they are char grilling a pig, we’re reminded of a fireplace.

You secretly long to be curled up on the slopes of a ski resort with that special someone, drying off after a long day of skiing. What’s even more bizarre is that when you meditate, you become strangely addicted to the session that asks you to picture yourself being next to a fireplace with an orange pillow. You’re not weird; you’re just a hopeless romantic like me.

 

3. Long walks are fun to you

In modern society, the last thing most people want to do is exercise because TV and junk food is a much easier way to ease yourself out of the pain of not living your purpose. Not you, though. You love long walks because it reminds you of what you want to do with your dream partner.

Long walks equal time to tell a story from your childhood or inspire your significant other to take the plunge and change their career. Long walks to a hopeless romantic equal time out from the rat race to dream of a life where entrepreneurship and creativity dominate.

A life where you can spend a lot of your time with your partner and making them happy. You don’t hate long walks like everyone else because you’re a hopeless romantic who wants to get outside and live life. Walking from one side of the beach to the other after you have finished kite surfing is fun to you (side note I am becoming a hopeless kite surfer too so maybe ignore this fact).

 

4. You smile a lot

Aside from long walks, you find yourself smiling a lot for no reason at all! You know you’re a hopeless romantic like me when you smile a lot because your reason for smiling is different to everybody else. You smile at everyone because you believe that the other person on the receiving end of your smile may be the long lost partner you’ve been looking for all your life.

The act of a smile is really just an insecure way to tell people that you hope they can see something in you that others haven’t seen yet. The smile is nothing more than a cry for love, attention, and significance. If only people knew why you smiled.

If only they knew what was behind the smile, then they would truly understand you.

 

5. You write out speeches

Now if you’re about to go and meet “the one” then you know you’re a hopeless romantic like me when you write out what you’re going to say. Non-hopeless romantics are probably wondering why the heck we would do this.

The answer is only something that a hopeless romantic like me would understand; we want to say what we truly feel without messing it up. It’s not so much a drive for perfectionism but rather a fulfillment of a dream that we’ve waited so long to achieve. A dream we sometimes thought was impossible.

When you’re given a chance to make a dream come true, practice and dedication is never a bad thing. It’s just what us hopeless romantics do, and we’re okay to be viewed as tragic for it.

 

6. You love cooking

As a hopeless romantic in the world of home delivery food, you probably love cooking like me. I’m the worst cook ever, but when you add romance into the equation, I become like Jamie Oliver and cook up a storm.

It’s something about those herbs and spices, mixed with romantic glances towards the person you want to marry one day, which make you crazy with food. Don’t fight it, embrace it!

 

7. You get tongue-tied when you meet the one

At that moment in time when you meet “the one,” you know you’re a hopeless romantic like me because you get tongue-tied and can’t speak. Even though communicating well is something you’ve always been very good at, us hopeless romantics all of a sudden find a new sense of fear.

It happens because we have craved this moment of love for so long. Unlike our friends, we don’t want this person ever to let go of us because we’ve achieved our dream of happiness. We want the moment to last forever, and this stops our mouth and tongue from moving correctly and saying stupid stuff that we’ve never said before.

 

***Final Thought***

Forget about what those supposed cool startup founders that work twenty hours a day are telling you; you should strive to be a hopeless romantic. You’ll never be really happy unless you spend some amount of time with a person that you love above everything else.

Love is success above everything else that we talk about on Addicted2Success. Love is what makes a business do a billion dollars in revenue, and it’s what makes us achieve our dreams to change the world. Don’t get caught up in the hype of success and strip it back to the basics every once in awhile.

Are you a hopeless romantic like me? Maybe you don’t know it yet. Let me know if you are on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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