Do you know anyone who doesn’t experience fear on some level? You don’t because that is not possible, even if you think you might. Fear is part of our physiology and psychology and it is a natural reaction to real or perceived danger. You will never ever reach a point in life when you won’t feel fear anymore; because it is part of us on a very deep level, it is part of our survival.
As long as you live on this earth you will feel fear. If you are serious about being in the driver’s seat of your life and making a success of it, you absolutely have to adopt better strategies to manage it. If it looks like some people never get gripped by fear, it’s only because they direct their fears. They don’t let their fears direct them.
So do you want to know how to use your fears instead of your fears using you? Tony Robbins said it best when he said that fear is never rewarded, but courage is. And I’m guessing you like rewards right? So my invitation to you is to start having fun with your fears instead, they are part of you.
Here is how you can own your fears in 3 steps:
You need to understand this. Just like procrastination or anger for example, your body is simply telling you something. The problem actually comes in with how you deal with it. If you are courageous and you look at your fear, you will be rewarded. If you don’t, it will forever remain an obstacle until you choose to. To do this, you need to take the emotion out of it and get strategic.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” – Henry Ford
Step 2: Check in with reality and look at your fear
So many people say, “I want to be successful, but I don’t know what is stopping me, so I’m going to give up.” What they are really saying is, “I want this great and amazing life, but I also want to stay in my comfort zone and have it come to me really easy.” Can you see the paradox here? This is why so many people stay in no man’s land. What I am saying is until you are ready and willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, you won’t change your life very much. If you want change, you have to change and if you want more, you have to be more.
Step 3: Come up with your game plan, your winning strategy
You are in the driver’s seat, this is your chance to have fun with this. It’s a good time now to remind yourself that you will attract the exact experiences you need to grow, and so most of the time, it is really in your best interest to move towards them strategically. Your biggest challenges are your biggest growth.
The golden rule in any decision making is to write it down, get it out of your head. And the decision you are making is “am I going to dance with this fear and win or not?” You want to get clear on the reward of following through with facing this fear. This is the real juice, so don’t skip this part. Right now, your mind has come up with reasons why you shouldn’t, you want to counteract that with double the reasons why you should.
“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” – Napoleon Hill
What will it feel like when you surpass your fears and you are on the other side looking back? What will it mean to you? How will it change your life and the people around you? Who will you become by doing this? Really dig into why this is a MUST HAVE and why you should be excited to do this.
Now that you are juiced up and excited, you are ready to come up with a strategy. Write down what you are going to do to prepare for this or to feel better about taking this on. Come up with a game plan that will make you feel better. The more time you spend here, the easier it will be to move forward. The less time, the harder. Don’t forget that your environment might trigger the fear, but how you manage it is your choice.