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Why Many People Will Never Achieve Success and How to Make Sure You Do

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Many people think if they could only reach success that their life would somehow be better. They live by “if onlys” (if only I had a better job, if only I had a bigger house, if only I had a different spouse). Even worse, they tie their happiness to this future goal of success, refusing to be happy now, before their goals are reached.

Somehow this magical pinnacle they refer to as success is some far away dream or goal that keeps them mired in the day-to-day smallness that never lets them break out of their unhappiness.

I have also had this way of thinking be a part of my life, but once I realized that it was backwards, my life changed dramatically. I have reached several lofty goals I set for myself. Interestingly, my life was not miraculously different when those dreams became reality. So I wondered, what makes people think an external item in their life will automatically make it better or different?

The Game Is An Inner Game

When we set goals, there is a determination that drives us towards those goals. The motivation is often that our lives will change for the better. This fuels many people to keep going when times get tough to keep going towards the successful achievement of that goal.

In reality, the motivation needs to come from within. It needs to be a burning desire to complete the goal, not for the external satisfaction or rewards it may bring, but for the internal peace and satisfaction that you feel. The gratitude and completeness that you feel even being able to have the opportunity to strive for the goal should be what drives you forward.

“Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

Success is Not a Destination

One of the things I noticed about myself was that sometimes when I achieved what I set out to do I often had a feeling of being let down afterwards. This is sometimes referred to as the “day after Christmas” syndrome. This is because there is so much excitement leading up to Christmas day and then once the gifts are opened, the meals are eaten and the guests are gone, we are left with the cleanup and life goes back to normal.

It is the same with achieving certain goals. Let’s say you had a goal to purchase a new car. You’ve worked extra hours, you’ve saved your money, you’ve made sacrifices, dreaming of the day you get to sit in those leather seats. The day finally arrives! You are driving around in your brand new car and  for a little while, it feels great. Then slowly you start to realize your life is still the same. Nothing else has changed. You have the same problems and life issues as before the car came into your life.

Enjoy The Journey Along The Way

The key to achieving true success, and along with it, true happiness, is to actually make the pursuit of the goal the fun part, not reaching the final destination. That’s just the icing on the cake. The planning, the extra work, the challenges, all of the things making up the pursuit are the real success.

How you got there is the ultimate achievement. Live for the here and now. That is the best way to achieve success.

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” – Carl Rogers

How are you making sure you enjoy the journey while finding a way to reach your destination? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Debbie Peck known as the Digital Trendsetter. As a Digital Strategist and Certified Social Media Manager she helps companies stay ahead of the curve by creating campaigns that humanize your brand, engage with your ideal audience and increase profits. Check out more on her website http://debbiepeckdigital.com. You can also follow her on Twitter:@debbiempeck.

Success Advice

15 Leadership Lessons From the World’s Top Female Founders

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The Covid-19 pandemic has tested the leadership skills of global leaders both in government and in the private sector, but have male or female bosses handled these rolling crises better? According to a Harvard Business Review study, it’s the women who have proved to be stronger leaders, but what is their secret? (more…)

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Ego Contributes to Your Success and Failures

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The Secret Formula for Real Financial Success

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What do you see?

That Money = Cost x Time ?

Or, that Time = Money/Cost ?

Most of us routinely push through the weekdays while we wait for the next weekend to roll around, giving us a moment to choose how we spend and enjoy our time. For those who are merely working to pay the bills, 71% of every week is a total write-off. It’s a sad statistic. What keeps us spending an entire life stuck in this funk? (more…)

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Be Like Water: 3 Martial Arts Lessons for Negotiation

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You may wonder what martial arts and negotiation have in common. As a lifetime practicing martial artist, I constantly use lessons from various martial arts to help me in my professional life. One of the most common themes running through all martial arts is the silencing of the “self.” Martial artists meditate to quiet themselves and become more attuned to the processes of the self and the world around them. (more…)

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