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Success Advice

We All Suck At Success, Until You Do This

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Here we go that word “SUCCESS” again. Aren’t you freaking sick of it?

Frankly, it doesn’t matter if you are. You can’t avoid success and the yearning to want its rewards.

Success is like your dream partner that you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. Now that sounds about right. It explains so much.

You have to have success at some point in your life. You have to feel like you have climbed a mountain and done something that others have only dreamt of.

You can’t live your life being unsuccessful. You need success. Success is like the oxygen your lungs need to keep you alive. Fall in love with success. Then, you’ll start to suck less. You’ll stop ignoring this universal truth called success.

We all suck until we detach ourselves from the outcome

If you sit in your fancy Aeron office chair every day, being obsessed with the outcome of your life’s work, you’re going to suck! Big time!

I know you want success right now: so do I. Rather than thinking about success as the outcome of your work (these outcomes take time), try thinking about the daily progress you are making towards your life’s work, as success.

Tell yourself that success is going to happen for you, you’ve just got to keep going. When you hit that major challenge, don’t give up. See that challenge as the only way you will ever get your goal of success.

“Know that the challenges are ensuring you become successful, rather than the other way round”

Overnight success takes years

If I had a dollar for every time I hear about so-called “Overnight Success.” HAHAHAHAHA

I’ve studied success like a mad man over the last five years. Every autobiography I have read has told me one thing: success takes years.

I see people evaluating their success all the time. The look on their face when they see the results of the three months they spent on their startup makes me laugh. They can’t work out why they don’t feel successful. I’m not sure why they think this way.

It takes years to build a brand in business. Customers don’t just wake up one day and all decide to buy your solution.

News travels slowly even with all the 101 social media channels that you can overindulge on, and pig out on for hours like a Big Mac Burger. I remember failing at least seven times. It was attempt number eight that finally helped me see some success. That success was years in the making.

“Hollywood has a way of making everything seem like an overnight success” – Kevin Hart

At the start we all suck

I re-published the third article I ever wrote on a blog the other day on Medium. I went back to re-read it and check for spelling and grammar issues. Holy crap it was bad. No wonder nobody read it. Even though it was about an interesting topic such as attempted murder, it wasn’t well written.

Did I edit it and still post it? You bet ya. It’s still worth a read, it’s just not perfect.

“At the start, we all suck at our passion”

For years no one read any of my blog posts. I can remember seeing one like on Facebook and nearly wetting my pants.

The first cars Henry Ford made were total crap. I got to ride in one many years ago at a car show. God, it was bad!

The first IBM laptops were total trash. The user interface called “DOS” required me to type in codes to start programs. I kept forgetting what these codes were so I could never play half the computer games I wanted to.

I know you’re probably shedding a tear for the former spoilt brat that couldn’t play his games with chicks in bikinis and run people over. Poor kid.

The first job interview I ever did totally sucked. I wore a lime green shirt that was too big and had sweat patches around the armpit area from all of my nervousness. Halfway through the interview, the nice lady said: “Tim, sell me this pen.” I nearly started crying. I had never been hit with this interview trick before.

“How do I sell a pen?”
“It’s just a pen,” I thought.

The second job interview ever was a bit better. I played a Tony Robbins tape beforehand and pumped myself up. I then got into the room, and saw the hot girl over the desk from me and froze.

I forgot all the kick-ass lines I was going to say about why I’d be the best candidate to work in the stock market. There went my Wolf Of Wall Street fantasy right out the window!

The reality is I had no idea about the stock market. Still to this day I bump into this hot girl at least once a week in the corridor. She still looks at me like I’m a loser and remembers the nervous kid who froze and sounded like a total moron.

The point is we all suck at the start. Remember that next time you think about your own success.

Change your approach

When it comes to success, I feel like we get a good idea and then we keep executing with the same bad strategy even when it doesn’t work. It’s important to stick to your goal (say blogging), but you’ve got to change your approach.

In the first year of blogging, I wrote listicles. Then I started writing articles starting with the word “Why.” Then I wrote articles that had a bit more humor. Then I stopped being a perfectionist and wrote whatever I wanted.

The goal is still the same: be a blogger and help people. What’s important is to keep changing how you achieve that goal, and therefore reach your own personal version of success. Throwing the same right hooks in a boxing match that have no impact will, not make you successful.

Success is yours and nobody else’s

This is a quiet reminder. Your success is yours. You define it, you live it and you get the results. Therefore, who gives a rats what others think about your success. Throw a party once in a while. Write something that you know you shouldn’t. Chuck in the word burrito into a serious business meeting.

Over the last few weeks on Medium, I’ve gained a few more smart-ass comments than normal on my posts. More than 90% of comments are fantastic, but there’s always somebody who’s having a bad day and wants to ruin your success. I chose to ignore it.

No one owns my success or your success. Remember that when you find yourself getting lost in opinions.

So how do you not suck at success?

Try this:

– Fall in love with failure
– Accept you will suck at the start
– Know that success takes a long time
– Be okay with looking like a nervous wreck
– Keep having a crack
– Try new stuff regularly

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen

Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.

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workplace stress management techniques
Image Credit: Midjourney

Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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happiness model explained
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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Success Advice

11 Mark Manson Lessons That’ll Redefine Success in the Digital Age

Success in the digital age isn’t about hacks, it’s about the raw, real lessons Mark Manson actually lives by.

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Mark Manson life lessons on success
Image Credit: Midjourney

In 2016, Mark Manson released The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, a brutally honest, thought-provoking book that redefined self-help for a new generation. (more…)

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