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Two Questions That Must Be Answered for Your Personal Success

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As a practitioner and facilitator of goal setting for the past 30 years, I can say that while I believe in the process of goal setting, it has become a little too restrictive. By that I mean that many of the books on goals setting require boxes to be checked, forms to be filled, I’s to be dotted, and T’s to be crossed.

In the past, three questions had to be answered for goal setting to work its magic. The first question was WHAT do you want. Obviously if you set a goal, it is to acquire something. It could be something tangible like a vacation or a house or relationship, or it could be intangible such as greater patience, better organization, or an elevated level of interpersonal skills.

The next question that had to be answered was WHY do you want it. The underlying psychology behind answering the why question was an internal rationalization process that supposedly set the subconscious at ease and allowed the goal setter to act with effortless execution.

The last question that had to be answered was HOW do you derive what you want. This is a process that I called in my first book, Goals Book, functional decomposition. By that I meant, you break the goal down into imperceptible, almost subconscious behavioral steps that need to be posted into your calendar and acted upon daily.

Guess what? The above process works, and it works well. However, for as many successes as there are in the process there are typically many more failures. The reason behind the number of failures we experience has to do with the rigid, unforgiving process that we put ourselves through on a daily basis, and the guilt that arises from not accomplishing some of the action steps necessary to achieve our goal.

“Don’t bury your failures, let them inspire you.” – Robert Kiyosaki

For years I thought to myself, there has to be a better way to reach your goals, and I believe I found it! The questions haven’t changed, only their underlying motivation. Let me explain:

When there is something that is wanted, it becomes the WHAT. The what process is logical and scientific. Perhaps what you want is not logical or scientific, but asking the what question is. For example, if you need a new car, the what is very simple, it is a new car. Since we all know that a car is a mode of transportation, and transportation in modern society is necessary, wanting a new car is a very logical process.

However, the WHY, is an emotional process. So, the next question after what kind of a car do you want, is why do you want that one in particular, and this is the type of question that evokes emotion.

Perhaps you want a minivan for your growing family because you feel guilty by cramming your partner, three kids, and ice hockey equipment into your current vehicle. Perhaps you are looking for a high-end sports car that you consider to be an emotional extension of your personality. It really doesn’t matter; the fact is the WHY question is emotional.

It’s the HOW question that I have studied the most. Instead of the process of functional decomposition to determine every point perhaps, I thought, that not worrying so much about the how, and let it unfold before you is enough.

Jack Canfield suggested that you could drive across the United States from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean at night only using your headlights. That means that you can travel 4000 miles by only seeing 200 feet in front of you. The how will unfold every 200 feet!

Using this more contemplative approach to goal setting works. Let me give you the steps below:

Step 1: Determine your WHAT. During this process, be as focused and as logical as possible as to what it is you are looking to have, to accomplish, or to become. See what you want in all of its visual splendor. Use your other senses as you see fit.

Step 2: Determine your WHY. In this step, you need to get excited about what you are looking for. This is not just sensual, but emotional! I want you getting so excited about what you want or what you are going to become that it brings a tear to your eye. When you combine the what and the why, that is logic and emotion working together.

Step 3: Don’t worry about the HOW! Yes, your reading that correctly. As long as you can see 200 feet in front of you, that is the next necessary action step. I have been using the system for several years now, and it works! It got me to move to Costa Rica without a clear plan and yet as I am writing this, I am in the process of opening up yet another business! I could never have done this if I try to plan for it.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” – Pablo Picasso

If you are metaphysical, you can say you threw it out to the universe. If you are psychological, you can say that you made micro adjustments to your subconscious that brought about the desired result. If you are theological, you could say that God helps those who help themselves.

If you’re like me, you realize it’s a combination of all three, and you keep moving forward. I have found that this process has literally changed my life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below about this method of goal setting!

Biagio Sciacca, known to his friends as Bill, was a lifelong resident of Pittston, PA. He is the owner of Intelligent Motivation, Inc. a global consulting and training firm specializing in management and leadership training as well as psychological assessment for hiring and staff development. He is the author of several books relating to goal setting, and his third book, Provocative Leadership, is publishing soon. Now residing in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, he divides his time between his international coaching and training clients, writing his next book and wandering aimlessly on the beach. Feel free to contact Bill at bill@intelligentmotivationinc.com or schedule a call with him by going to www.intelligentmotivationinc.com and clicking on the “set up a call” tab.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
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Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)

Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

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When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

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