Success Advice
The Number One Question All Leaders Should Be Asking
Questions are the greatest way to express curiosity, and to actually get to know somebody. As an educator, a father, neurolinguistic programmer, and media specialist, I know how powerful communication can be.
Communications power is the ability to get to know someone. To build rapport and to work out if we are in the same tribe, speaking the same language. We only understand 7% of verbal communication. 38% is our voice and tone. 55% is body language. So when we message or email someone, we are barely communicating. If we are not careful face to face communication can be just as ineffective.
In our work and everyday life we will often be called upon to conduct an interview. This might be in a formal way, such as a manager with a potential new employee, or informally as a parent meeting a son or daughter’s new partner. Sometimes this might be free style, to see where the conversation takes us, and other times we might use our organisations set list of questions.
“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes
Ineffective communication and questioning
The problem is, the questions are often boring, ineffective, or not relevant. Or they have been asked so many times before, the interviewee reels off a pre-prepared answer, which blurs in the mind of the interviewer with every other candidate she/he has spoken to that day.
Questions like: What is your greatest weakness? Where do you see yourself in five years? Or perhaps the worst of all, “tell me about yourself?” Why is that last one so toxic? Well what do you think they will answer?
Not only will they be reciting a familiar response, but it will also be a mix of what they think you want to hear, and their own made up story of themselves. It is natural to do this, as it is our own perception of ourselves, and mind-reading of what others think of us. Left to our own devices we can be influenced by ego, humility, self-limiting beliefs, and imposter syndrome.
Effective communication and questioning
If we want to really uncover more about the person we are speaking to, we should try this: “Tell me about the world?”Why is that so powerful? Well, to quote the Marvel film Dr Strange, “you’re a man looking at the world, through a keyhole.”
How we view the world is a reflection of ourselves. It may include what we perceive as opportunities and threats, perhaps biases and our overall outlook on life. Is the person we are speaking to open-minded, have an insight on where the world is heading, are they success-minded optimists, or negative and ignorant, with a tendency to blame others?
Are they literal, “it’s a planet orbiting the sun”, or romantic, “it’s a wonderful place full of inspirational people with the capacity to create amazing things, but too often negativity and hate clouds our potential.” Did they focus on the country they live in? A particular subject? Their own family?
“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.” – Nat Turner
It is a much more interesting question, and one that few people are asked. They may request clarity, because it is so open and you may be guiding them in to uncharted waters. Every person will answer in a different way, and it will usually provide a much deeper insight as to who they really are.
Not only is this great for interviews, but it can also be a way to break out of small talk. When two people meet it can be visualized as a Venn diagram. Sure, we will probably have some overlap whether that is sports, where we work, parents, gaming, or religion. And the tendency will be to stick to those topics.
But isn’t the real fun in the areas we don’t overlap on? The problem is we often don’t know what questions to ask about it, because we don’t know what you don’t know. This question is a great way of exploring new territory. So, tell me about the world?
High performers are often seen in the world as people who set their mind on something and make it happen regardless of what it takes to get it accomplished. Much of the time that may be true. However, the way high performers are seen in the world is often in direct conflict with the way they behave when people aren’t watching. Even though they are seen as amazing experts and masters to others, they often see themselves as in need of improvement and can feel dissatisfied with the results they have achieved.
Despite how they appear, they are not much different than you or me with one exception. High performers are totally committed to what it is that they are doing. They function within the uncertainty of daily life just as you do but they conquer their limitations differently. Whether the odds are stacked with them or against them, a high performer will be totally committed to reaching their goals.
You may even be a high performer yourself and don’t realize it because some of your habits would not be considered high level ones. It is common for individuals to compare their accomplishments to others based on what we observe as their results.
In fact, you may have lowered your personal bar of excellence because you thought you didn’t measure up to those that always seem to land at the top no matter what. I think you’d be surprised to learn that many very successful high performers don’t function the way you think they do.
Here are 5 B.S. facts about high performers that everyone thinks is true:
B.S. Fact #1 – Perfection is the way they play their game
You would think that in order to appear perfect you would probably need to do everything perfectly. It’s so not true! High performers actually pursue excellence as a goal and not perfection. It allows them to get more done with a higher level of consistency and sets them up for success rather than failure.
B.S. Fact #2 – Organization is their secret weapon
Just take a look at the desk of a genius. You probably wouldn’t be able to see the surface beneath the stacks of books, papers and whatever else may be on top of it. High performers typically have a formula as to where they put things and why. To the observer, it’s usually just a big mess with no identifiable system. However, I assure you, a high performer will still know where everything is regardless of the chaos that surrounds their personal space and schedule.
B.S. Fact #3 – They’ve all walked Ivy League hallways
Though it is true that many well educated people reach great success, statistically, some of the most influential success stories are about people who lacked resources and education. High performers will always seek out whatever or whoever is available so that they can learn what they need to and create their vision despite whatever odds happen to be stacked against them.
B.S. Fact #4 – They don’t have squirrel brain
Focus. It seems like this would be the number one rule to follow on the road to results. However, there are many high performers who get distracted by people and ideas that totally derail them from what they were doing. Often times, it is not their focus but their agenda that keeps them on track. They know what they need to do even if it doesn’t always get accomplished in the way they thought they would get it done. However, it always gets done.
“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.” – Robert H. Schuller
B.S. Fact #5 – They see themselves as the king of the jungle
Confidence seems to pour out of those who always seem to succeed. When, in reality, so many high performers struggle with it. Questioning whether or not they’re doing the right things or whether what they’re doing is good enough can be a constant personal dialogue. Fear of being negatively judged is the biggest reason why most people don’t take chances or take action on their big dreams but high performers move forward anyway. Their insecurity doesn’t stop them from what they want.
So, why should it matter to you what is fact or fiction about high performers? The answer; because you will compare yourself to others at times and it would be a tragedy if you stopped yourself from achieving big goals due to a belief that you’re not as good as someone else.
High performers achieve results. They know what they want, they plan it and they achieve it. Just because you have a few habits that won’t get applauded if people actually knew about them doesn’t mean that you can’t be one of the experts or podium finishers too.
How do you become an adult in a society that doesn’t ask for sacrifice? How do you become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage? The test of leadership isn’t done on the couch, discussing things with internet trolls and commentators. Leadership, like philosophy, is action-based and can’t be separated from that into a purely theoretical field.
To become a leader, it isn’t enough to read about it, you need to live through it. That leads us to the first point.
1. Experience trumps theory
Theory and practice are the same in theory, but they are not the same in practice. For you to become a leader, you need to put yourself in situations which demand leadership. If you are at home trying really hard to think about situations where leadership is required and can’t find a place where that can happen, you are not thinking about the problems in your life and community.
Leadership is about going through uncertainty while showing people a better way. So any area of life where there is uncertainty is an area where there is a possibility for leadership to emerge.
You don’t have to lead a company of 10,000 employees to experience leadership, you can do it in a local community of 5 people or as I did in a leadership organization with 200 people. But leadership doesn’t start with leading other people, it starts with leading yourself.
“Leadership is practice not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.” – Harold S. Geneen
2. To lead others, you must learn to lead yourself
Telling other people what they need to do is “easy.” Showing the way yourself is a hundred times harder. Because what you do speaks so loud that people can’t hear what you’re saying. In other words, leadership is about having personal integrity and practicing what you preach. You would never follow the advice of a fat personal trainer, a broke accountant, or a real estate agent who doesn’t even own a dog house.
You either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. But the thing is that this is easier said than done. I remember when we had a crisis in our team back in 2013. Every single person from the team quit, leaving the president and me alone to fight the battle. My integrity of not quitting didn’t let me walk away and we kept pushing together.
That’s what leadership is about – you need to walk the talk. Because to lead yourself and to lead others, you need to make decisions which follow up your integrity. That leads us to the third point.
3. Leadership is about making the right, painful decisions
If you choose easy decisions, your life will be hard. If you choose hard decisions, your life will be easy. And there are numerous decisions which leaders did in the past which have been hard at the moment. But when you’re a leader, you don’t make decisions on a scale of easy-hard, you make them on a scale of right-wrong.
Firing the VP of sales is always hard. But doing it because he violated the principles of the company makes it right. It’s a trade-off 90% of people are not willing to make and I see it day in, day out. As soon as a decision becomes hard, people start doubting their values, morals, and integrity. They let the fear of uncertainty cloud their judgments and they make an easy call.
They let the VP stay because it’s the easy thing to do and with that, they seal their fate. Leadership is painful and it always was. I remember when I had to let 20 people go or fire two of my VPs. Was it hard? Of course it was. But it was the right thing to do. This doesn’t make the decision any easier, but it makes it bearable.
You know where you need to lead people and even though there is massive uncertainty, you need to be certain that you will figure out any problem that comes in front of you. Which brings us to the last point.
4. You need to have unyielding faith that you will prevail in the end
You don’t need to know every step of the way, but you need to know how you will react to problems. You need to be sure, absolutely, that you will deal, manage, and handle every single problem that comes your way and that your team and people who you lead are unstoppable on their way to achieving the vision.
This is unquestionable. You have no idea what will attack you, but you are certain that you will handle it. This is how you lead people through everything in life. This is how Shackleton led his expedition for 2 years on the Antarctic and how every single one of his people survived the hardships that attacked them.
Because people turn to the leader in face of trouble and that’s when you show your true face. Do you show your weak side, flounder, and run? Or do you stand strong like a supporting rock on which people can lean on?
When you deal with fire, you will learn how to defeat it without having your people get burned. You will sacrifice yourself and gain scars which don’t serve as a sign of victimhood but as a proof of courage. Are you gonna be courageous or are you gonna run away? There is only one way to find out.
Success Advice
This Is Why Most People Give Up On Their Dreams — I Plead With You Not To Become One Of Them.
We all have a dream even if we haven’t realized it yet. It could be something as simple as raising a family, or it might be more extreme like winning an Olympic gold medal.
No matter the dream, most people give up on their dream.
I’m pleading with you not to be one of those people. You can achieve your dream when you understand why people give up in the first place.
Here’s why most people give up on their dreams:
They failed once before.
Many people try something once and when they fail, they give up. That’s because nobody tells you that achieving your dream doesn’t happen the first time around.
You have to try and try again until you reach your goal.
The problem is it’s easy to try once, fail, and then say “I already tried and I didn’t win.”
We give in so easily because the upside is a life of excuses.
We give in because we can live through the heroes of our favorite Netflix show.
“We give in because in some ways there is a reward. Giving up gives you permission to sit on the couch, eat junk food, be angry at the world on social media and sleep in your nice warm bed”
The problem is that this life sucks. You’ll get tired of it. One day you’ll want to chase your dream again, but you might be old, frail and full of regrets.
I’m pleading with you not to choose this option.
They got told no.
“You don’t need permission — remember that. You are going to get told no hundreds of times in your life. With every dream you have, there’s going to be some fat, lazy slob that’s going to be standing in your way.”
Push through these people — flubber and all. Don’t let someone else’s laziness or issues with your dream stop you.
Ignore the no and get right back to it. Ask them again. Ask someone else.
Ideally, don’t ask them at all. I never asked to be a blogger I just did it. Certain publications turned me down and I kept writing.
Not everyone understands your gifts or potential and that’s fine. The main point here is that you understand.
I’m pleading with you to not give up because of a no. Make the no your motivation instead.
They don’t see failure for what it is.
Failure is nothing more than the inevitable education that any person who achieves their dream goes through.
Failure is so important that I personally like to pay money for it. I wish there was a shop or course I could do that would guarantee me failure instead of success. I want you to want the failure because that’s where all the answers are.
Once you know what doesn’t work, you’ll have a path forward. Change the word failure into education.
I’m pleading with you to fall in love with failure and not to give up on your dream.
Boredom strikes like thunder.
Everyone gets bored. I watched a documentary where Usain Bolt was training for the Olympics and even he admitted that he got bored after he won a few gold medals.
Boredom is normal, but it’s why a lot of people give up on their dreams.
It’s in the moments of boredom that you give your mind a chance to rest. Doing nothing and being lazy for a few hours can often bring a spark of creativity. No one is motivated 100% of the time — not even me.
It’s up to you to add some variety into your day, so you don’t get stuck in boredom forever.
Boredom can also be a good sign as well. It can be a sign that you need to change your approach or do things in a new way.
I’m pleading with you not to be afraid of boredom. Use boredom to your advantage.
They stop believing in themselves.
Your dreams are not easy (obviously). The rejection, failure and setbacks you’ll achieve can bring you down. What messes people’s dreams up is they stop believing in themselves.
Everything starts to fall over when you don’t believe in yourself. You have to believe you can do it before anyone else will buy into that idea. The challenge is that you’re going to need help to achieve your dreams. You can’t do it alone.
You’ll never get that help unless you can get people to believe what you believe.
I’m pleading with you to believe in yourself no matter what. You have this dream for a reason and you can do it.
They are stuck on one strategy.
Many people live their entire life based on one strategy or one arbitrage. They refuse to change and so eventually the environment around them changes which affects their ability to reach their dream.
If you’re set in your ways and won’t change your approach, you’ll probably fail. We all imagine how our dream should look yet sometimes the reality is different.
You have to be open to change. In my experience, my original dream looked much different and I’m glad it’s changed. Changes to your dream are for the better.
I’m pleading with you to be open-minded.
They are surrounded by an army of morons.
If everyone around you is telling you you’re an idiot and they don’t respect your dream for what it is, this will have a negative impact on you whether you like it or not.
“Run away from the dream killers who are making up for their own broken dreams and surround yourself with people who support you”
The best people are the ones that support you but don’t always agree with you. Even better are the ones that support you and challenge your thinking.
I’m pleading with you to reassess the people around you.
They want security.
No dream comes with an insurance policy or a set path. People are afraid to take risks and want reassurances when they pursue their dream.
There are none. Dreams are made off the back of taking calculated and clever risks most of the time. If you want someone to guarantee your dream, then it ain’t going to happen.
It’s the unpredictability that makes dreams addictive, delicious and worth the effort. Not knowing is what our mind craves — we just don’t know it. If we knew how our dream turned out, we wouldn’t be as excited.
I’m pleading with you to take a risk or two.
They refuse to be disciplined.
Nothing worth achieving can be done without discipline. There’s work involved and that has to be scheduled and executed upon.
I’ve written every single week since 2014. That takes bloody discipline.
My discipline reflects my results in the blogging world. The same applies to your own dream.
Block out chunks of your calendar and get to work. If you’re not doing at least one small thing towards your dream every day, then you’re heading in the wrong direction.
I’m pleading you to put in regular work towards your dream.
The greener grass syndrome.
Another reason we give up is not because we’re lazy necessarily but because we failed and there is a better option. That’s what our mind tells us.
“I didn’t fail; I just found something better,” you say to yourself.
Well, that’s the sad truth.
“Changing your idea of success consistently is not the answer. At some point, you need to decide to chase one dream and quit the ADHD dream chasing the average person chases. You’re better than that”
Worrying about what everybody else is doing and then chasing their dreams is ridiculous.
I’m pleading with you not to fall for this lie. The grass is not greener it just requires more work than you anticipated.
Final thought.
Please, please, please don’t give up on your dream. You’re closer than you think. You just need to stand back and think about a few of the points I’ve mentioned.
Broken dreams have birthed so many broken people.
It doesn’t have to be that way. See your dream for what it is: Something special that you can achieve if you put your mind to it, focus and be excited by the possibilities.
Don’t give up on your dream.
<<<>>>
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
Building your business as an entrepreneur is an amazing opportunity, but one that can make you feel guilty if you have children. After all, shouldn’t you be giving all of your time and attention to them? Your career as an entrepreneur is important to you and you know it will be beneficial for your family in the long-run, but nothing comes above the love you feel for your children.
How can you strike a balance so that you can pursue your dreams while remaining a responsible, fun, and approachable parent to your little ones? Whether your children are just learning to crawl or are heading into high-school, these six tips for raising children while building your business will put your work-life balance in order.
1. Strike a Work/Life Balance
One of the first things you will want to do when you are raising children while building your business is to learn to create a work/life balance. This term should be taken just as it sounds. It means that you will create a suitable balance between how much time you are spending on work pursuits versus how much time you are devoting to your marriage, your children, and your extended family, friends, and other responsibilities.
Creating a schedule and prioritizing your life. Put this schedule somewhere you can visualize it, such as on a calendar. This will help you get a better idea of where you are spending your time.
Once you can visualize your schedule, you will then be able to prioritize your time. Are you going to spend the night at your child’s play or spend it doing social media marketing to help build your business? Decide what requires your attention and what honestly doesn’t during the week. This will give you a balanced view of how to use your time.
“It’s all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.” – Philip Green
2. Seek Reliable Childcare
The business world is not always conducive to raising children. If you are raising children while building your business and your mate is unable to take on the brunt of childrearing, it is in your best interest to see out reliable childcare.
Try and choose someone who your child is comfortable with such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or older cousin. This will make the transition seem more like a fun experience with family, instead of them missing out on time with you.
It may make you feel guilty, but there will be times where you need to take a conference call or business meeting with a prospective client that you will simply not allow you to stay home with your little ones. Having adequate childcare ensures that someone will always be there to pick up your children from school and make them dinner until you can come home and take the reins again.
3. Be Prepared to Work Whenever You Can
Being an entrepreneur means you have the flexibility to put your family first in your life. If you have to push back work for the day so that you can attend your child’s sporting event or parent/teacher meeting, you have the freedom to do that. Just know this means you need to be prepared to catch up on that work whenever it is possible to do so.
If the only time you can brainstorm ideas to build your business is between your child’s bedtime and 6 am, then you need to make it happen within that timeframe. Be prepared to work whenever you can to make your dreams a reality while making your family your priority.
4. Have a Realistic Timetable
In order to raise children while building your business, you’re going to need a realistic timetable. Growing your business is not going to happen overnight. It is going to take up a lot of your time and energy, which is why it is so important to prioritize your time.
Having a timetable will help you set goals and motivates you to work towards them before your due date for that specific goal arrives. Having your timetable visible to your entire family not only helps you remain accountable, but it also shows your family when you will be busy and creates an organized atmosphere in the home.
5. Quality Parenting Time
Your children need your time and attention in order to feel loved. They need to know that when they need you, you will be there for them. Creating a structured, safe environment is essential for your children to grow up feeling physically, mentally and emotionally taken care of. This is why it is important to carve out quality parenting time with your children.
This means being there for them at mealtimes, asking them about their day, addressing problems or concerns they have, as well as engaging in leisure time with them. Many families find it beneficial to designate one day a week to take time together away from their phones, friends, and jobs and focus on spending time together as a family. Play a board game, watch a movie, or head out on a local adventure. This time spent together will promote a strong parent-child bond and remind them that they are important to you.
“Kids are like a mirror, what they see and hear, they do. Be a good reflection for them.” – Kevin Heath
6. Don’t Pretend Your Family Isn’t There
When it comes to building your business, it’s only natural for you to want your clients and employees to see you in a professional light. But, that doesn’t mean you should be hiding your family in the background. The more open you are about your children, mate, and the needs of your family, the more understanding your clients and co-workers will be able you taking the time to raise your children.
Raising children while building your business isn’t always going to be easy, but it isn’t always going to be difficult, either. Learn to prioritize your workload, accept help when necessary, make time for playtime, and always let your children know that they have your undivided attention when they need it. These are the keys to successfully raising children while building a thriving business.
You Must Answer This Question in Order to Live a Successful Life
Building an Empire Starts With Your Mindset
An In-Depth Guide of the Law of Attraction and How It Can Work for You
3 Ways to Keep Your Creative Juices Flowing When You Feel Uninspired
Attitude Is Everything: A Positive Mindset Always Brings Fortune
35 Quotes to Inspire You to Live a Life of Contribution
You Must Answer This Question in Order to Live a Successful Life
5 B.S. Facts About High Performers Everyone Thinks Is True
18 of the Funniest Yet Inspirational Quotes From the Office
Do You Want to Become a Leader? Read This First
-
Life2 days agoYou Must Answer This Question in Order to Live a Successful Life
-
Life3 weeks agoBuilding an Empire Starts With Your Mindset
-
Life1 week agoAn In-Depth Guide of the Law of Attraction and How It Can Work for You
-
Life2 weeks ago3 Ways to Keep Your Creative Juices Flowing When You Feel Uninspired
-
Life5 days agoAttitude Is Everything: A Positive Mindset Always Brings Fortune
-
Success Advice3 weeks agoPositivity & Self-Ownership: Your #1 Factor for Success
-
Life2 weeks ago7 Techniques to Turn Your Fears Into Learning Opportunities
-
Entrepreneurs2 weeks agoMillennial Multi-Millionaires Share Their Best 6 Tips on Starting a Successful Company
Quotes
35 Quotes to Inspire You to Live a Life of Contribution
Contribution is defined as something that you contribute or do to help produce or achieve something together with other people or to help make something successful. May these quotes inspire you to make a positive contribution to the world so that you may help advance humanity to a greater level. (more…)
High performers are often seen in the world as people who set their mind on something and make it happen regardless of what it takes to get it accomplished. Much of the time that may be true. However, the way high performers are seen in the world is often in direct conflict with the way they behave when people aren’t watching. Even though they are seen as amazing experts and masters to others, they often see themselves as in need of improvement and can feel dissatisfied with the results they have achieved.
Despite how they appear, they are not much different than you or me with one exception. High performers are totally committed to what it is that they are doing. They function within the uncertainty of daily life just as you do but they conquer their limitations differently. Whether the odds are stacked with them or against them, a high performer will be totally committed to reaching their goals.
You may even be a high performer yourself and don’t realize it because some of your habits would not be considered high level ones. It is common for individuals to compare their accomplishments to others based on what we observe as their results.
In fact, you may have lowered your personal bar of excellence because you thought you didn’t measure up to those that always seem to land at the top no matter what. I think you’d be surprised to learn that many very successful high performers don’t function the way you think they do.
Here are 5 B.S. facts about high performers that everyone thinks is true:
B.S. Fact #1 – Perfection is the way they play their game
You would think that in order to appear perfect you would probably need to do everything perfectly. It’s so not true! High performers actually pursue excellence as a goal and not perfection. It allows them to get more done with a higher level of consistency and sets them up for success rather than failure.
B.S. Fact #2 – Organization is their secret weapon
Just take a look at the desk of a genius. You probably wouldn’t be able to see the surface beneath the stacks of books, papers and whatever else may be on top of it. High performers typically have a formula as to where they put things and why. To the observer, it’s usually just a big mess with no identifiable system. However, I assure you, a high performer will still know where everything is regardless of the chaos that surrounds their personal space and schedule.
B.S. Fact #3 – They’ve all walked Ivy League hallways
Though it is true that many well educated people reach great success, statistically, some of the most influential success stories are about people who lacked resources and education. High performers will always seek out whatever or whoever is available so that they can learn what they need to and create their vision despite whatever odds happen to be stacked against them.
B.S. Fact #4 – They don’t have squirrel brain
Focus. It seems like this would be the number one rule to follow on the road to results. However, there are many high performers who get distracted by people and ideas that totally derail them from what they were doing. Often times, it is not their focus but their agenda that keeps them on track. They know what they need to do even if it doesn’t always get accomplished in the way they thought they would get it done. However, it always gets done.
“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.” – Robert H. Schuller
B.S. Fact #5 – They see themselves as the king of the jungle
Confidence seems to pour out of those who always seem to succeed. When, in reality, so many high performers struggle with it. Questioning whether or not they’re doing the right things or whether what they’re doing is good enough can be a constant personal dialogue. Fear of being negatively judged is the biggest reason why most people don’t take chances or take action on their big dreams but high performers move forward anyway. Their insecurity doesn’t stop them from what they want.
So, why should it matter to you what is fact or fiction about high performers? The answer; because you will compare yourself to others at times and it would be a tragedy if you stopped yourself from achieving big goals due to a belief that you’re not as good as someone else.
High performers achieve results. They know what they want, they plan it and they achieve it. Just because you have a few habits that won’t get applauded if people actually knew about them doesn’t mean that you can’t be one of the experts or podium finishers too.
How do you become an adult in a society that doesn’t ask for sacrifice? How do you become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage? The test of leadership isn’t done on the couch, discussing things with internet trolls and commentators. Leadership, like philosophy, is action-based and can’t be separated from that into a purely theoretical field.
To become a leader, it isn’t enough to read about it, you need to live through it. That leads us to the first point.
1. Experience trumps theory
Theory and practice are the same in theory, but they are not the same in practice. For you to become a leader, you need to put yourself in situations which demand leadership. If you are at home trying really hard to think about situations where leadership is required and can’t find a place where that can happen, you are not thinking about the problems in your life and community.
Leadership is about going through uncertainty while showing people a better way. So any area of life where there is uncertainty is an area where there is a possibility for leadership to emerge.
You don’t have to lead a company of 10,000 employees to experience leadership, you can do it in a local community of 5 people or as I did in a leadership organization with 200 people. But leadership doesn’t start with leading other people, it starts with leading yourself.
“Leadership is practice not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.” – Harold S. Geneen
2. To lead others, you must learn to lead yourself
Telling other people what they need to do is “easy.” Showing the way yourself is a hundred times harder. Because what you do speaks so loud that people can’t hear what you’re saying. In other words, leadership is about having personal integrity and practicing what you preach. You would never follow the advice of a fat personal trainer, a broke accountant, or a real estate agent who doesn’t even own a dog house.
You either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. But the thing is that this is easier said than done. I remember when we had a crisis in our team back in 2013. Every single person from the team quit, leaving the president and me alone to fight the battle. My integrity of not quitting didn’t let me walk away and we kept pushing together.
That’s what leadership is about – you need to walk the talk. Because to lead yourself and to lead others, you need to make decisions which follow up your integrity. That leads us to the third point.
3. Leadership is about making the right, painful decisions
If you choose easy decisions, your life will be hard. If you choose hard decisions, your life will be easy. And there are numerous decisions which leaders did in the past which have been hard at the moment. But when you’re a leader, you don’t make decisions on a scale of easy-hard, you make them on a scale of right-wrong.
Firing the VP of sales is always hard. But doing it because he violated the principles of the company makes it right. It’s a trade-off 90% of people are not willing to make and I see it day in, day out. As soon as a decision becomes hard, people start doubting their values, morals, and integrity. They let the fear of uncertainty cloud their judgments and they make an easy call.
They let the VP stay because it’s the easy thing to do and with that, they seal their fate. Leadership is painful and it always was. I remember when I had to let 20 people go or fire two of my VPs. Was it hard? Of course it was. But it was the right thing to do. This doesn’t make the decision any easier, but it makes it bearable.
You know where you need to lead people and even though there is massive uncertainty, you need to be certain that you will figure out any problem that comes in front of you. Which brings us to the last point.
4. You need to have unyielding faith that you will prevail in the end
You don’t need to know every step of the way, but you need to know how you will react to problems. You need to be sure, absolutely, that you will deal, manage, and handle every single problem that comes your way and that your team and people who you lead are unstoppable on their way to achieving the vision.
This is unquestionable. You have no idea what will attack you, but you are certain that you will handle it. This is how you lead people through everything in life. This is how Shackleton led his expedition for 2 years on the Antarctic and how every single one of his people survived the hardships that attacked them.
Because people turn to the leader in face of trouble and that’s when you show your true face. Do you show your weak side, flounder, and run? Or do you stand strong like a supporting rock on which people can lean on?
When you deal with fire, you will learn how to defeat it without having your people get burned. You will sacrifice yourself and gain scars which don’t serve as a sign of victimhood but as a proof of courage. Are you gonna be courageous or are you gonna run away? There is only one way to find out.
Success Advice
This Is Why Most People Give Up On Their Dreams — I Plead With You Not To Become One Of Them.
We all have a dream even if we haven’t realized it yet. It could be something as simple as raising a family, or it might be more extreme like winning an Olympic gold medal.
No matter the dream, most people give up on their dream.
I’m pleading with you not to be one of those people. You can achieve your dream when you understand why people give up in the first place.
Here’s why most people give up on their dreams:
They failed once before.
Many people try something once and when they fail, they give up. That’s because nobody tells you that achieving your dream doesn’t happen the first time around.
You have to try and try again until you reach your goal.
The problem is it’s easy to try once, fail, and then say “I already tried and I didn’t win.”
We give in so easily because the upside is a life of excuses.
We give in because we can live through the heroes of our favorite Netflix show.
“We give in because in some ways there is a reward. Giving up gives you permission to sit on the couch, eat junk food, be angry at the world on social media and sleep in your nice warm bed”
The problem is that this life sucks. You’ll get tired of it. One day you’ll want to chase your dream again, but you might be old, frail and full of regrets.
I’m pleading with you not to choose this option.
They got told no.
“You don’t need permission — remember that. You are going to get told no hundreds of times in your life. With every dream you have, there’s going to be some fat, lazy slob that’s going to be standing in your way.”
Push through these people — flubber and all. Don’t let someone else’s laziness or issues with your dream stop you.
Ignore the no and get right back to it. Ask them again. Ask someone else.
Ideally, don’t ask them at all. I never asked to be a blogger I just did it. Certain publications turned me down and I kept writing.
Not everyone understands your gifts or potential and that’s fine. The main point here is that you understand.
I’m pleading with you to not give up because of a no. Make the no your motivation instead.
They don’t see failure for what it is.
Failure is nothing more than the inevitable education that any person who achieves their dream goes through.
Failure is so important that I personally like to pay money for it. I wish there was a shop or course I could do that would guarantee me failure instead of success. I want you to want the failure because that’s where all the answers are.
Once you know what doesn’t work, you’ll have a path forward. Change the word failure into education.
I’m pleading with you to fall in love with failure and not to give up on your dream.
Boredom strikes like thunder.
Everyone gets bored. I watched a documentary where Usain Bolt was training for the Olympics and even he admitted that he got bored after he won a few gold medals.
Boredom is normal, but it’s why a lot of people give up on their dreams.
It’s in the moments of boredom that you give your mind a chance to rest. Doing nothing and being lazy for a few hours can often bring a spark of creativity. No one is motivated 100% of the time — not even me.
It’s up to you to add some variety into your day, so you don’t get stuck in boredom forever.
Boredom can also be a good sign as well. It can be a sign that you need to change your approach or do things in a new way.
I’m pleading with you not to be afraid of boredom. Use boredom to your advantage.
They stop believing in themselves.
Your dreams are not easy (obviously). The rejection, failure and setbacks you’ll achieve can bring you down. What messes people’s dreams up is they stop believing in themselves.
Everything starts to fall over when you don’t believe in yourself. You have to believe you can do it before anyone else will buy into that idea. The challenge is that you’re going to need help to achieve your dreams. You can’t do it alone.
You’ll never get that help unless you can get people to believe what you believe.
I’m pleading with you to believe in yourself no matter what. You have this dream for a reason and you can do it.
They are stuck on one strategy.
Many people live their entire life based on one strategy or one arbitrage. They refuse to change and so eventually the environment around them changes which affects their ability to reach their dream.
If you’re set in your ways and won’t change your approach, you’ll probably fail. We all imagine how our dream should look yet sometimes the reality is different.
You have to be open to change. In my experience, my original dream looked much different and I’m glad it’s changed. Changes to your dream are for the better.
I’m pleading with you to be open-minded.
They are surrounded by an army of morons.
If everyone around you is telling you you’re an idiot and they don’t respect your dream for what it is, this will have a negative impact on you whether you like it or not.
“Run away from the dream killers who are making up for their own broken dreams and surround yourself with people who support you”
The best people are the ones that support you but don’t always agree with you. Even better are the ones that support you and challenge your thinking.
I’m pleading with you to reassess the people around you.
They want security.
No dream comes with an insurance policy or a set path. People are afraid to take risks and want reassurances when they pursue their dream.
There are none. Dreams are made off the back of taking calculated and clever risks most of the time. If you want someone to guarantee your dream, then it ain’t going to happen.
It’s the unpredictability that makes dreams addictive, delicious and worth the effort. Not knowing is what our mind craves — we just don’t know it. If we knew how our dream turned out, we wouldn’t be as excited.
I’m pleading with you to take a risk or two.
They refuse to be disciplined.
Nothing worth achieving can be done without discipline. There’s work involved and that has to be scheduled and executed upon.
I’ve written every single week since 2014. That takes bloody discipline.
My discipline reflects my results in the blogging world. The same applies to your own dream.
Block out chunks of your calendar and get to work. If you’re not doing at least one small thing towards your dream every day, then you’re heading in the wrong direction.
I’m pleading you to put in regular work towards your dream.
The greener grass syndrome.
Another reason we give up is not because we’re lazy necessarily but because we failed and there is a better option. That’s what our mind tells us.
“I didn’t fail; I just found something better,” you say to yourself.
Well, that’s the sad truth.
“Changing your idea of success consistently is not the answer. At some point, you need to decide to chase one dream and quit the ADHD dream chasing the average person chases. You’re better than that”
Worrying about what everybody else is doing and then chasing their dreams is ridiculous.
I’m pleading with you not to fall for this lie. The grass is not greener it just requires more work than you anticipated.
Final thought.
Please, please, please don’t give up on your dream. You’re closer than you think. You just need to stand back and think about a few of the points I’ve mentioned.
Broken dreams have birthed so many broken people.
It doesn’t have to be that way. See your dream for what it is: Something special that you can achieve if you put your mind to it, focus and be excited by the possibilities.
Don’t give up on your dream.
<<<>>>
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
Building your business as an entrepreneur is an amazing opportunity, but one that can make you feel guilty if you have children. After all, shouldn’t you be giving all of your time and attention to them? Your career as an entrepreneur is important to you and you know it will be beneficial for your family in the long-run, but nothing comes above the love you feel for your children.
How can you strike a balance so that you can pursue your dreams while remaining a responsible, fun, and approachable parent to your little ones? Whether your children are just learning to crawl or are heading into high-school, these six tips for raising children while building your business will put your work-life balance in order.
1. Strike a Work/Life Balance
One of the first things you will want to do when you are raising children while building your business is to learn to create a work/life balance. This term should be taken just as it sounds. It means that you will create a suitable balance between how much time you are spending on work pursuits versus how much time you are devoting to your marriage, your children, and your extended family, friends, and other responsibilities.
Creating a schedule and prioritizing your life. Put this schedule somewhere you can visualize it, such as on a calendar. This will help you get a better idea of where you are spending your time.
Once you can visualize your schedule, you will then be able to prioritize your time. Are you going to spend the night at your child’s play or spend it doing social media marketing to help build your business? Decide what requires your attention and what honestly doesn’t during the week. This will give you a balanced view of how to use your time.
“It’s all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.” – Philip Green
2. Seek Reliable Childcare
The business world is not always conducive to raising children. If you are raising children while building your business and your mate is unable to take on the brunt of childrearing, it is in your best interest to see out reliable childcare.
Try and choose someone who your child is comfortable with such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or older cousin. This will make the transition seem more like a fun experience with family, instead of them missing out on time with you.
It may make you feel guilty, but there will be times where you need to take a conference call or business meeting with a prospective client that you will simply not allow you to stay home with your little ones. Having adequate childcare ensures that someone will always be there to pick up your children from school and make them dinner until you can come home and take the reins again.
3. Be Prepared to Work Whenever You Can
Being an entrepreneur means you have the flexibility to put your family first in your life. If you have to push back work for the day so that you can attend your child’s sporting event or parent/teacher meeting, you have the freedom to do that. Just know this means you need to be prepared to catch up on that work whenever it is possible to do so.
If the only time you can brainstorm ideas to build your business is between your child’s bedtime and 6 am, then you need to make it happen within that timeframe. Be prepared to work whenever you can to make your dreams a reality while making your family your priority.
4. Have a Realistic Timetable
In order to raise children while building your business, you’re going to need a realistic timetable. Growing your business is not going to happen overnight. It is going to take up a lot of your time and energy, which is why it is so important to prioritize your time.
Having a timetable will help you set goals and motivates you to work towards them before your due date for that specific goal arrives. Having your timetable visible to your entire family not only helps you remain accountable, but it also shows your family when you will be busy and creates an organized atmosphere in the home.
5. Quality Parenting Time
Your children need your time and attention in order to feel loved. They need to know that when they need you, you will be there for them. Creating a structured, safe environment is essential for your children to grow up feeling physically, mentally and emotionally taken care of. This is why it is important to carve out quality parenting time with your children.
This means being there for them at mealtimes, asking them about their day, addressing problems or concerns they have, as well as engaging in leisure time with them. Many families find it beneficial to designate one day a week to take time together away from their phones, friends, and jobs and focus on spending time together as a family. Play a board game, watch a movie, or head out on a local adventure. This time spent together will promote a strong parent-child bond and remind them that they are important to you.
“Kids are like a mirror, what they see and hear, they do. Be a good reflection for them.” – Kevin Heath
6. Don’t Pretend Your Family Isn’t There
When it comes to building your business, it’s only natural for you to want your clients and employees to see you in a professional light. But, that doesn’t mean you should be hiding your family in the background. The more open you are about your children, mate, and the needs of your family, the more understanding your clients and co-workers will be able you taking the time to raise your children.
Raising children while building your business isn’t always going to be easy, but it isn’t always going to be difficult, either. Learn to prioritize your workload, accept help when necessary, make time for playtime, and always let your children know that they have your undivided attention when they need it. These are the keys to successfully raising children while building a thriving business.
-
Life2 days ago
You Must Answer This Question in Order to Live a Successful Life
-
Life3 weeks ago
Building an Empire Starts With Your Mindset
-
Life1 week ago
An In-Depth Guide of the Law of Attraction and How It Can Work for You
-
Life2 weeks ago
3 Ways to Keep Your Creative Juices Flowing When You Feel Uninspired
-
Life5 days ago
Attitude Is Everything: A Positive Mindset Always Brings Fortune
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
Positivity & Self-Ownership: Your #1 Factor for Success
-
Life2 weeks ago
7 Techniques to Turn Your Fears Into Learning Opportunities
-
Entrepreneurs2 weeks ago
Millennial Multi-Millionaires Share Their Best 6 Tips on Starting a Successful Company
Leave a Reply