Connect with us

Success Advice

How to Master the Art of Communication

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Each of us is 100% unique, even twins or triplets. While their DNA may be remarkably the same, they’re not absolute clones of each other. There will still be a few variables that will make them unique, even if they look remarkably similar. So what about the rest of us? We’re all different, from our DNA to our physical size, skin color, background … everything.

And yet we too often act as though how we see the world is the way everyone does. We use terms we understand, we write as we would want to see it, and we’re often surprised to find out that someone else “misunderstood” us when we thought we were being so clear!

I’m sure most of us can remember at least one time – either in a personal or professional area – when we were misunderstood or we didn’t understand someone else. Did we lay blame on the other person, certain that we couldn’t have made such an error? Did we take it upon ourselves to straighten things out? Did we take the time to learn from it or just move on?

Success wears many hats, and one of them is clear communication – clear to the sender and the receiver. If we can’t be clear, we can get a reputation for being difficult to deal with, and who needs that?  

Here are three ways to strengthen your communication skills, which will give you more of the results you want, and help you look and sound like someone others want to be around.

1. Use this version of the KISS acronym

Keep it short and simple. Many of us prefer to use “utilize” rather than “use,” but there’s no need to do that, especially in business writing. We don’t need to be a walking version of a thesaurus. Simple, easily understood language works best in most cases.

2. Be clear about your timeframes

Steer clear of terms like “soon,” “later,” or especially ASAP. That acronym (as soon as possible) has led to many unexpected results. Your thought may be “by tomorrow at 5,” but the other person’s might be “when I get to it.” Without clarity, there could be a tough conversation later about why something was done late or too quickly.

As an example: Recently a group received this message: “If we didn’t already send the new policy out to everyone, we need to do it asap!”

The person in charge of sending stuff out did just that within an hour. But the intent of the note was only to find out if we had already sent the policy out. If we hadn’t, we would then do so with a note explaining why it was being sent out now.

“Communication is power. Those who have mastered its effective use can change their own experience of the world and the world’s experience of them. All behaviour and feelings find in their original roots ini some form of communication.” – Tony Robbins

3. Reinforce the wanted behavior

Many of us have heard others (maybe ourselves?) say: Don’t forget to … do whatever. But how many times has the person hearing it promptly done just that? Forgotten to do it? And yet, they were actually doing exactly what they heard, which was the wrong verb. Verbs are powerful words, often indicating action, and our brain responds to them very well, even if incorrectly in some cases.

Years ago, I heard a young woman at a swimming pool do something I thought was remarkable. Her kids, along with several others, were running around as kids do – which is a dangerous thing at a swimming pool – and instead of saying “Kids! Stop running!” she called out, “Kids! Walk slowly, please!”

The result? The kids stopped as though they’d hit a wall. They walked. Of course, being kids, they also finally started running again. And each time, she repeated in a friendly voice, “Kids! Remember to walk!” I was astonished, so I asked her about what she’d said. She told me she was a grade school teacher, and she’d learned over time that telling kids what not to do reinforced them doing just that: what she didn’t want! Ending her request with a verb that was the opposite of what she was asking was doing immense harm. Saying “Don’t run!” actually caused the kids to continue running most of the time.

She learned to focus on the result she wanted – telling them to sit, or read, or line up for recess – whatever she was looking for, and it worked. The other upside to this is that no one felt accused of being about to do the wrong thing. The minute we say “Don’t forget to send out the memo,” our voice may well sound accusatory, especially if this is a typical issue. And even if our voice is steady, it’s entirely possible the listener may think, “What! Does she really need to tell me that? When have I ever forgotten?”

Airline personnel are experts in knowing to never say “Don’t panic!” when something scary happens like suddenly dropping several hundred feet, because it would plant the very seed they do not want. So they focus on the positives, on the needed results, helping the passengers stay calmer than they might otherwise be able to. They use the right language.

“All passengers, please return to your seats. Please buckle your seatbelt and remain seated. Be sure to put on your own mask before helping others.” All positive and constructive language. Of course, the passengers may still be scared, but the language is at least not making that scary experience worse for most. We do what we’re told; we don’t have to even think about it.

Clear communication is both an art and a skill, and over the years, I’ve found that remembering at least these three ideas has allowed me to build stronger and more positive bonds between myself and others.

Susan Rooks formed Grammar Goddess Communication in 1995 to help business professionals strengthen their communication skills. As an editor, she has worked on award-winning children’s and business books, web content, and corporate blogs and annual reports, ensuring that all material is professionally presented and free from grammatical errors. As an international corporate educator, she creates and leads three-hour in-person “Brush Up on Your Skills” workshops in American grammar, business writing, and interpersonal skills (including DiSC®). In 2020, she converted those to 60- and 90-minute Zoom sessions. Susan also offers one-hour FREE LinkedIn Profile Basics workshops to Chambers of Commerce and other civic organizations or nonprofits, mainly via Zoom, to help business pros maximize their presence there. She is a BIZCATALYST360 columnist, and her only goal is to help business pros look and sound as smart as they are. For more info: GrammarGoddess.com.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Change Your Mindset

You Become What You Absorb: How Input Shapes Your Life

We let the world dictate who we spend time with and what input we allow in, rarely stopping to consider the effects it’s having on us

Published

on

How Input Shapes Your Life
Image Credit: Midjourney

“Input” is anything from the outside world that influences your mood, mindset, and emotional state. It includes the media you consume, the books you read, the podcasts and music you listen to, and the movies and shows you watch. But it also encompasses much more: the environment you live and work in, the conversations you have, the people you surround yourself with, and the events, personal or global, that unfold around you. (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

This Overlooked Skill Drives Real Business Growth

It strengthens relationships, enhances decision-making, and fosters trust.

Published

on

Importance of listening in leadership
Image Credit: Midjourney

In every successful leader’s toolkit, one skill stands out above the rest: the ability to listen. While good leaders are known for making confident decisions, great leaders understand that those decisions are only as strong as the information they’re based on. And that information? It comes from truly listening to their teams, peers, and even critics. (more…)

Continue Reading

Personal Development

The Real Reason Successful People Are Never Late

More than just good manners, punctuality is a vital professional and personal trait.

Published

on

Successful people are punctual
Image Credit: Midjourney

How do you feel when your flight is delayed, throwing your entire schedule into chaos? Or when a patient dies due to a doctor’s tardiness? What about missing a job opportunity because your driver showed up late? And how do you react when someone walks in late without the basic courtesy of apologizing? (more…)

Continue Reading

Personal Development

Why Humility Is the Real Superpower in Leadership

Humble leadership doesn’t mean being passive or unsure of yourself.

Published

on

Humility in Leadership
Image Credit: Midjourney

In today’s fast-paced, high-stakes business world, especially in industries like construction and finance, leadership is often mistaken for control, authority, or having all the answers. But the leaders who last and leave the deepest impact tend to operate from a very different place: humility. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending