I wanted to be successful. I had known about it since I was a child. I was an artist from a young age, creating and performing music for the local neighborhood. Surprisingly I was shy. But something changed when I opened up my vocal chords, my confidence suddenly started to skyrocket. But life just wasn’t going in that direction anymore. Not because I screwed up, or wasn’t trying.
Events just fell out of place.
Snow trickled off the rooftops and onto the ground outside. My breath was shallow and my skin was shivering off my scrawny frame.
A few months had passed since my 2-bedroom house was taken away from me. I was now broke and owned an empty wallet and the small space I had to my name at the hostel.
My mother, during this time had been incredible. She was always providing me with food so I didn’t go hungry, and desperately filling the air with positive vibes. I don’t know how she did it, after all she had her own problems – My dad had left us, and we had very few possessions to our name. But, she still smiled and it’s something that happened daily. I sat down upon my mattress, it was placed upon the wooden floors, the springs occasionally poked through and digging into my back. It kept me awake in discomfort. That’s when the thoughts started to travel, and most nights they ran for hours. I was 112lbs and although it should have been the last thing on my mind, it was.
My body image was something that tore me apart. I rarely went on dates, I didn’t have an endless amount of friends, and life was not going in the direction I wanted it to. After all, I wasn’t living my life like a boss yet. My confidence and happiness were both at an all time low.
I needed some kind of escape.
A Constant Struggle With Control
The one idea that passed through my head daily was “What if I had done things differently?”
Then it slowly flowed into “I could never have control over this. After all I’m just a kid.” – I was entering my late teens, what an excuse. Everything thought I had was dripped through a negative filter. “What could I do? Maybe I should sell my old CDs and games…” I still had them boxed away at a friend’s house, and maybe I would get some money for them, maybe it would be just enough to take my mum and me for a meal. She needed a break.
“Stay positive. You can do it Dean,” I muttered hoping no one would class we as a certified crazy guy.
This vibe didn’t last very long
There was one thing that always seemed to bring me down, the mirror, and It reflected my scrawny frame.
I spent minutes just staring at my body, clocking every fault that crept in my head and I didn’t like the destructive thoughts that ran their course. I had heard of self-sabotaging thoughts before, but this kind of damage was in another realm of lame.
Framing – The Key To Moving Our Mind’s Boulders
I had been told for a while that I was skinny. That I could eat and eat and not gain any weight. “There’s nothing on him” – Said every average Joe. There’s no doubt I would have agreed with them if they had seen my stomach.
But they hadn’t.
I was a skinny fat and no one knew it – The cheerio wrists, narrow shoulders and spaghetti like arms distracted everyone from the fat that was stored around my stomach that represented a pillow, there was no sign of a six pack anywhere. It was my forth year of breathing in.
Life had dealt me a bad hand and it was a deck of cruel genetics. There was only way to change it.
Sculpt A Master Plan And Get My Head On Straight
Before I accepted the body of mediocrity, I remembered something; a life lesson that was passed on to me:
“You are the architect of your life…”
If sorrow was raining down on me and I was the architect of this situation, then why didn’t I jump up, do an anti-rain dance and hope things would improve instantly. The words of wisdom stood for change. They meant I could build my own life around a vision – To me this meant a happiness, a place to call home and a muscular body that represented the GQ look.
Would my life dramatically improve the next day? No. I was a man with no home, a scrawny frame and so much baggage (metaphorically speaking). It would be a lie to say yes.
It did help me pick up some momentum.
After gaining my first 15lb of muscle (I went on to gain over 60lbs) I had clarity on something. My mindset could change, and it was down to the not-so-secret power of what I call ‘framing’. Before this I hadn’t realized what I could control (and what I couldn’t.)
Most skinny guys (and my past self included) have the constant need to over analyze and over think everything – it’s one of the reasons they are still skinny.
This alone kept me back from realizing what changing my body really meant to me.
The confidence and structural habits I got from my muscle-building journey led me to becoming a happier man. They were the building blocks for victory. It was all down to that one thing. My framing was now viewed under a set of different lenses – A brawny guys.
The concept of vainness and only transforming our bodies for one purpose is overlooked.
The under looked benefits are that when we do it, we are open to having control over the direction and the realization that follows the result. – It let’s us know we can change something in our lives.
The body is a vehicle to change.
We are free to make the transformation – no one else makes us.
Do you have the right framing that is going to help you?
That is something all us skinny guys need to question time to time. I know when I did; it was the start of my journey.
Take your framing, twist it, architect it, and create a success.
Building muscle is just part of the equation and it’s a huge one.