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Success Advice

The Counterpart To “What’s Your Why” That Nobody Talks About



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If you’ve ever studied or listened to anyone talk about entrepreneurship and business, you have most likely at some point been told to identify “your why”. “What’s your why” they will tell you, or “get clear on your why”. Why do you want to accomplish what you are seeking to accomplish, why do you want to make a certain amount of money, why do you want to be in a certain niche and on and on. Over the years I have spent countless hours, journaling sessions, meditations and conversations on identifying the specifics of my why.

Make no mistake, I fully agree on the importance of being clear on all the reasons why, because the bottom line is, if you don’t know the why, then what the heck is the point? But after years of dissecting and analyzing my why, and hearing over and over from the people I admire how important identifying the “why” is, I had an awakening that opened an entirely untapped purpose for my vision. 

While climbing the stair master at the gym searching the internet for some spiritual and mental nutrients, a suggested video popped up. As content from someone I regularly follow, I was surprised I hadn’t seen this one before and decided it would be a good listen whilst sweating it out on the stairs.

Initially the video began like many others, speaking of having success and then having a realization of the fact that along the way to achieving all the things you dream of, you either lose the why, or you come to realize, you never identified it in the first place and all along all you had was a nebulous ideal of success. The video began to speak specifically about the impact this particular business was making on people, their community and their followers.

As I climbed, I realized, all this time I had been focusing so intricately on the details of “My Why” I had forgotten an equally and arguably more important piece; “The Who”. I had spent so much time focusing on detailing “the why” that somewhere along the way “The Who” got lost in the sauce. You can imagine the revelation of disconnect I had when I realized that so much of my why was to make an impact, to add value, to empower and inspire, but I hadn’t identified “the who”. And without “the who” there is no impact to make, no value to add, and no one to empower or inspire.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

I began to think about everything down to my trivial social media posts. There were so many elements of my business that I would consciously do for “the why” of my success, all while entirely ignoring WHO I was doing it for. 

I knew “why” it was important to create content for social media. And “why” it was important to do the tasks I wasn’t inspired to do. I knew “why” I was working so hard to create a company, to create time freedom and financial freedom for myself and my team. And “why” I should be willing to work harder than anyone else.

Knowing that I should be posting social media content because It will increase my engagement but the whole time worrying more about the judgement of others or people who know me, rather than who it would help, who would enjoy it and relate to it. Creating music, and programs and services to create cashflow for the business, ignoring who it would empower, inspire, and who’s career and life it could change. 

So often I had heard business people and entrepreneur’s talk about the vital importance of adding value not just making money. But I could never fully grasp the concept of that because my sole focus was on the why. And from a profits standpoint, it never made much sense to me why I should give away free content, products or services when my business needed to make a profit.

I realized that is an unattainable concept if you are not equally focused on “the who”. 

The fact of the matter is that having a “why” is the blood to the life of your business. It is a driving force that keeps you motivated, clear, and focused on the end goal. But the who is even greater. It gives your product, or company or business purpose. It requires emotional engagement, personal investment, and a clear understanding of who. Who your customers are that you will impact, who your listeners or clients or fans or followers are. Not just why your business needs them, but WHO are they really. They are not numbers or dollar signs or bars on a graph. They are fathers and mothers using your product to make their job as parents or home owners easier, they are young entrepreneurs who need your coaching to learn from your experience, they are fans who follow you because they admire your confidence and self love and your content helps them push a little harder. Yes, the why is the blood to your business, but the who is quite literally the heart. And without the heart to pump life into the veins of your business, all you have is a bag of cold, sticky red stuff. 

Alaura Lovelight is a recording artist, writer and host of 'The Alaura Show' on New Jersey Television. Blending her passion for music and writing with a profound understanding of conscious creativity her new Youtube Series The Conscious Creative is set to launch in January 2024. As a Conscious Creative Expert, Alaura guides others through her Mindful Creative Coaching Program on a transformative journey to unlock their highest creative potential through the synergy of science and spirituality. Her insightful coaching empowers individuals to harness mindfulness and willingness in an effort to awaken the creative within. Immerse yourself in the wisdom of conscious creativity by downloading her latest book, "The Mindful Creative," accompanied by the enriching workbook, "The Willing Creative." Explore the deepest understandings of art, science, spirituality and self-discovery with Alaura Lovelight in a collective awakening to illuminate the path to conscious and impactful creativity.

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Success Advice

Mindful Productivity: How Top Achievers Combine Focus and Balance

By being aware of your emotions, thoughts, and surroundings, you can work with your internal and external environments



Mindful productivity

Your big-dream goals matter … but not at the expense of your health. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Art of Convincing: 10 Persuasion Techniques That Really Work

The knack for persuading others can act as a catalyst for change, open doors, forge alliances, and effect positive change



how to be more persuasive

Persuasion is not as complicated as it may sound. In fact, it is something that we have been practicing since childhood. Do you remember convincing your parents to let you skip school, asking your teacher not to assign homework, or persuading your boss to give you a day off? Well, these are just small examples of what persuasion looks like. (more…)

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Success Advice

5 Steps to Leveraging Industry Speaker Events for Career Advancement

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it



How to advance your career by networking

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it. It’s not just about sitting in a room full of people. You’ve got to find the ones that fit your career puzzle, dive in while you’re there, and then make the most of what you’ve learned afterward. (more…)

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Success Advice

Overcoming Plateaus: 6 Powerful Strategies for Breakthrough Success

A plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears



how to overcome obstacles for success

In the pursuit of personal and professional growth, plateaus are inevitable. They appear when progress seems to halt, despite your continuous efforts. But remember, a plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears. This article provides six powerful strategies to overcome plateaus and achieve breakthrough success.

1. Find Out the Root Cause

When facing a plateau, there is likely something causing you to sabotage your progress. Identify the root cause. What is sabotaging your progress? Examine your daily routine and how you spend your time. Are you wasting time on unnecessary activities? Or are you taking on too many tasks that you can’t handle?

Often, adding more tasks overloads your already tight routine and distracts you from focusing on the most important tasks. Therefore, often eliminating unnecessary activity will work to overcome plateaus. However, be cautious of not doing things right, such as tasks you have not yet undertaken or missing something. What actions do you need to take or improve to achieve your goal? Are you avoiding them, or have you not started yet?

2. Never Tolerate Problems

Once you’ve identified the root cause, never tolerate problems. If you tolerate them, you’ll end up staying stuck. You get what you tolerate. Once you recognize the problem you’re facing, never tolerate it. Instead, address and improve the situation.

3. Focus on a 100% Solution and 0% Problems

To overcome a challenge, it’s essential to plan how to get through it. Yet, people often find themselves asking, ‘Why is it bad?’ or ‘What is wrong with it?’ Questions of this nature limit our thinking, leading our brains to generate responses like ‘Because you’re not good enough’ or ‘Everything is wrong with you.’ These limited answers tend to resonate with the situation and drag you down further.

Instead, ask empowering questions without limits, such as ‘What is not perfect yet, and how can I turn things around while making a more positive impact?’ By asking unlimited empowering questions, you’ll shift your focus from the problem to the solution. Additionally, you will also notice that asking empowering questions can expand available options and allow you to see from an angle you couldn’t see before.

Focusing on problems rarely yields positive outcomes. The key to positive results lies in concentrating on the solution. The next time you face adversity and notice getting caught by unresourceful thoughts, snap out of it and direct your focus to a 100% solution and 0% problems.

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford

4. Cultivate Success-Driven Traits

Identify the traits you need to have and get rid of to become the person you aspire to be. Consider your specific goals – for instance, attracting positive relationships. To achieve this, note down the traits you need to embrace, such as being open-minded, gentle, healthy, and treating others the way you want to be treated.

Cultivate a positive mindset. Simultaneously, get rid of traits like criticizing others, having a short temper, and engaging in unhealthy habits like taking drugs.

Learn from individuals who have achieved similar goals. Study their traits, both the ones they have and those they’ve consciously avoided. Implement these traits to align with the person you want to become.

Once you have your lists of traits to embrace and eliminate, diligently follow them. Place the list on your desk or the door of your room, ensuring you read it at least once a day to reinforce your commitment to these traits.

5. Track Your Habits

Carry a notepad to track your habits throughout the day, especially those contributing to plateaus, as well as your new habits or traits aligned with achieving your goals. For instance, if your root cause is excessive internet use, record instances of mindless scrolling on social media. Note when you engage, the emotional state prompting it, and the approximate duration.

Calculate the total minutes wasted at the end of the day. This habit tracking makes you aware of the emotions triggering these behaviors (stress, boredom, and frustration) and the time wasted.

Additionally, track positive new habits, like reading good books and exercising. Document what you’ve learned from the book and the time spent exercising. This practice helps you build new positive habits by enabling you to compare today’s results with those from yesterday or a week ago. 

Moreover, consistently sticking to new habits for around 18 months transforms them into lifelong habits. Even if you take breaks, you will find yourself naturally returning to those habits.

6. See Obstacles as Opportunities

Every obstacle can be an opportunity to turn things around. If the economy is in a downturn, it’s time to recognize it as an opportunity to thrive while everyone else is struggling and focused on the problem. If someone makes fun of you or causes you trouble, ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from this experience?’

Alternatively, consider that the person underrating you is setting low expectations, which are easier to exceed. If your business receives a bad review from a customer, see it as free feedback that guides you on how to improve and take your business to the next level.

Always try to see different angles that others may overlook. This perspective can reveal aspects you might be missing. When you view a problem as an opportunity, it has the potential to foster growth.

In the journey toward success, plateaus are just temporary pauses, not dead ends. So, keep moving, keep growing, and make your breakthrough.

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