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Here’s Why You Should Compete Against Yourself and How to Do It in a Non-Destructive Way

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Is it good to be competitive? Some say yes, others say no. Why? Well, that’s because being competitive has both benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, competitive people are ambitious and confident. They also don’t give up easily and are ready to do anything to fulfill their deepest desires. We envy them, because eventually, they reach success. However, being competitive has its disadvantages too.Competitive people are often self-absorbed, conceited, and fussy. Moreover, because their desire to win is fueled by fear of defeat, they live in constant stress. No wonder we don’t want to be competitive. But, what if you could be competitive in a healthy way?

You Compete Against The Wrong Person

Let me make something clear: it’s good to be competitive. If you’re not a naturally competitive person, it’s worth it to teach yourself competitiveness, it’ll help you reach your goals. But, in order to be competitive in a healthy way, you need to stop competing against others. Why? Because it brings neither happiness nor success you could be proud of.

Let’s take a look at three reasons why you shouldn’t compete against others:

1. There will always be someone better than you

You can never be the world’s best person in any area of life. Of course, you can triumph for a while, but eventually, someone will beat you. When they do, you’ll either end up sacrificing everything to prove again that you’re the best, or convince yourself you’re a failure and fall into depression. Either way, you’ll be unhappy.

2. Winning doesn’t lead to self-improvement

When you compete against others, you judge yourself against another person’s values. Thus, when you win, you do something that’s important to them, not to you. So, winning is meaningless. But, of course, you’re the winner. Congratulations! Does that make you feel any better? I guess not.

3. You adopt the tendency to compare yourself to others

By constantly competing against others, you teach yourself to always compare yourself to others, especially those who are better than you. So, you feel you’re never good enough, which steals all the joy from your life. Also, by comparing yourself to others, you never appreciate what you have. Instead, you focus on what you lack. Here’s the problem: you’ll never have everything and if you do, it will make you miserable. After all, it’s not achieving your goals that makes you happy, but the process of trying to achieve them. Think about it.

“The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I’m planning to test my own boundaries.” – Rain

Now that you know why competing against others can be self-destructive, let’s discuss who you should actually compete against to be happy and successful.

The Key To Success Lies In Competing Against Yourself

People who compete against themselves are more successful than those who compete against others, because they understand that winning is more than a competition. Being a winner doesn’t mean crossing the finish line first, but giving everything you’ve got to reach your goal. Otherwise, the competition itself is meaningless. Thus, you can be triumphant without the necessity to win. It’s the process that’s important and what you prove to yourself, and not to others.

Another reason why you should compete against yourself is that you redefine what success means: it becomes a sign of mastering a new skill and improving yourself. It’s fulfilling, so there’s no reason to boast about it. Moreover, when you reach success, you don’t rest on laurels. Beating others doesn’t matter any longer. You find satisfaction in pursuing self-development, so you start challenging yourself in new ways.

As far as losing is concerned, you will lose sometimes, however, you won’t blame others for your failure. Instead, you’ll take the full responsibility for your actions. Failure won’t be a reason to be depressed or angry, but a reason to learn on your mistakes and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time.

Remember, once you start competing against yourself, your life will change.

How To Compete Against Yourself: A Short Guide To Success

Here are three useful tips that will help you become a competitive person in a healthy way:

1. Set rational and attainable goals

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to achieve a goal is that they set standards that are too high. For example, when deciding to learn a new language, they set a goal to become a fluent speaker within one year because their friend learned a foreign language that fast. Setting such irrational goals leads to higher anxiety level and results in failure. So, don’t look at others! Think about your own abilities and set proper goals.

2. Surround yourself with positive role models

Most people dream of being an expert in something and in order to improve their skills, they find role models who’d motivate them. For example, you can look up to Bill Gates when trying to turn your hobby into a business, or Stephen King, when trying to write a bestseller. Is it bad? No, it isn’t as long as those role models influence you in a positive way. However, if they make you feel like a failure, it’s time to ditch them. Remember, role models should help you achieve success, not hinder it by making you feel depressed.

“I enjoy competition. I enjoy challenges. If a challenge is in front of me and it appeals to me, I will go ahead and conquer it.” – Conor McGregor

3. Reward yourself for doing a good job

There’s no better way to motivate yourself than the knowledge that a reward waits for you on the finish line. Thus, every time you reach your goal, celebrate it. A small gift is enough to boost your mood and make you feel satisfied. Remember, a good reward system can do miracles!

Are you going to keep on competing against others or start competing against yourself? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Emily Johnson is a content strategist at OmniPapers.com. She writes thought-provoking articles about digital marketing, remote work, productivity and self-improvement. Her blogs about how to achieve success motivate people all over the Web. Feel free to follow Emily on Twitter.

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Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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