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Here’s Why Splitting Personalities at Work and Home is Causing Unhappiness

When your external you reflects your internal you, you find true success, happiness, satisfaction, and contentment

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Image Credit: Midjourney

We hear it all the time: to accelerate in our careers, we need to fit within a certain mold. We need to play the role — to dress and talk and behave a certain way. Once we’re back home, we can switch into an entirely different person and be “ourselves.” 

We’re challenged to play so many different roles in our everyday life. We have to be smart, intelligent, and on our A game at work. Then we have to be patient, understanding, and the ideal role model in front of our kids, along with our fun, kind, and present self with our friends. We’re a different person behind closed doors, a different person at work, and a different person with friends, family, kids, parents, etc. In playing all those roles, how do we truly know who we are as a person?  

This is the reality of most people. Why? Because for so long the notion that behaving in different ways around different people has been ingrained in our minds as traditional practice. In fact, being able to be all these different personalities is viewed as an admirable “skill.”  

I don’t know about you, but for me, this traditional practice is exhausting! It’s not admirable. In fact, it’s completely inauthentic. Further, doing it takes no courage. None. All you have to do is conform to a system that’s already in place, formed by societal, familial, or cultural norms. You’re only playing your role. That’s easy. There’s nothing admirable or special about it.  

By comparison, going against the norm, being one person at all times regardless of the situation or the people you’re around, takes courage. It requires you to regularly break norms and be completely confident, secure, and free in how you act. Oftentimes, you may find yourself on an island, but guess what? It’s your island. You own it. You own your true self.  

The real you probably exists somewhere in the center of all the different personas you take on every day. But there’s only one true you. And that means the things you struggle with or that trigger a certain reaction in your personal life are also going to provoke a similar reaction in your professional life. If there’s an attitude that irks you at home, it’s likely to have the same effect in the workplace no matter how hard you try to hide beneath layers of professionalism and diplomacy. 

“When you are authentic, you create a certain energy, people want to be around you because you are unique.” – Andie MacDowell

We try to keep our “professional” self and “home” self in two separate drawers where they can’t possibly blend. Even through COVID, when our “home” was also our principal place of business, we still tried to keep the personal and professional neatly separate. It was a near impossible endeavor when our work was our home and our home was also where we worked.  

Part of this struggle for both employers and employees is how do we incorporate both. How, as an employer, do we create an atmosphere that encourages authenticity? How, as an employee, can we align these two parts of our lives together? Part of the answer lies in a mindset shift. This means breaking away from the traditional thinking that our personal and professional personas are separate. We must begin to acknowledge that satisfaction is derived from within. We need to connect with our authentic selves and strive to be the best version of ourselves each and every day.  

It’s possible to accept and respect each individual exactly as he or she is — whether as Jane the employee/employer or as Jane the parent, spouse, sibling, or friend. Embracing team members for who they are without expecting them to smother their inner selves should be an organic part of your company culture. 

The beauty of this mindset shift isn’t that it only happens at one level of the organization. To be truly effective, it must be embraced at both the individual level and the organizational level. 

Work to shift your mindset through these approaches: 

  1. Realize that authenticity starts with you. Understand that it’s okay to be different. Arrive at work unapologetic, unafraid, and unencumbered by who you think you’re expected to be. Understand that it’s okay to be your authentic self.  
  2. Shed the facades. You cannot be two different people personally and professionally and still understand who you are. Develop an awareness of when you’re not saying or doing something that you truly believe. Ask yourself whether you’re trying hard to appease someone else or to fit a norm.  
  3. Embrace your uniqueness. There isn’t, nor should there be, a cookie-cutter employee. Each person is unique and comes with their own talents, idiosyncrasies, and flaws. Your differences contribute to the company’s diverse whole. 

When your external you reflects your internal you, and vice versa, you find true success, happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. The magnetism within your truthfulness and authenticity will pull the best out of you — and the best to you. 

Shuaib Ahmed, a legal defense attorney, is owner and president of ASA Law Group, LLC, and ASA Law Group, Inc. He is the author of the new book, Personal Business: Using the ASA Way to Build an Inspired, Purposeful Team (ForbesBooks, April 11, 2023), offering a tried-and-tested leadership approach that prioritizes the individual worker. Learn more at asalawgroup.net.

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Success Advice

15 Essential Habits to a Stronger, Healthier, and Happier You

The journey towards transformation is not about perfection but about progress

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building positive habits

What habits can truly transform your life? That’s what you’re here to uncover. In our no-nonsense guide, we’ll introduce you to 15 habits to change your life, each with the power to improve your day-to-day existence.  (more…)

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Success Advice

19 Common Characteristics All Visionary Leaders Have

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visionary leadership qualities

When you look at business leaders like Bill Gates, Sam Walton, Sir Richard Branson, and philosophers like Bertrand Russell, Martin Heidegger, Ludwig Wittgenstein, David Bohm,  C. S. Peirce and inventors like Nikola Tesla, Paolo Soleri, Harvey W. Bailey, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and Wright brothers and political leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Aung San Suu Kyi, it becomes very clear that they are all connected through one leadership—visionary leadership. (more…)

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Success Advice

Wealth Lessons Everyone Should Hear for Every Stage of Your Life

Do you have the courage to rewrite your story?

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what i would tell my younger self

Do you see what I see? Likely not, as we each see ourselves through the lens of our own story. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Choose the Best Affiliate Programs for Your Blog

If you follow these steps, you can create an affiliate marketing plan that makes money, fits well with your content, and connects with your readers

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how to choose the best affiliate programs for your blog

Picking the right affiliate programs for your blog is really important. It can make a big difference in how much money you can make and how much your readers get out of your blog. With so many choices out there, deciding which ones to go with can be tricky. 

This guide is here to make it easier for you. It will give you clear steps and helpful tips to choose affiliate programs that fit well with what your blog is about, what your readers like, and what you stand for. 

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Understanding Affiliate Marketing

Before you start picking affiliate programs, it’s important to really understand what affiliate marketing is and how it works. 

Basically, affiliate marketing is when you promote a product or service on your blog, and then you get paid a little bit every time someone buys something or does something because you recommended it. 

It’s great for both the person selling the product and the blogger, because the seller gets more sales with low risk, and the blogger can make money from their blog.

How to Choose the Right Affiliate Programs for Your Blog

1. Assess Your Niche and Audience

The key to doing well in affiliate marketing starts with really knowing what your blog is about and who reads it. Consider the following:

  • Your blog’s content: What topics do you cover? Ensure the products or services you promote are relevant.
  • Your audience’s interests and needs: What solutions are they seeking? Choose affiliate programs that offer products or services that solve their problems or enhance their lives.

2. Research Potential Affiliate Programs

Once you know what your blog is about and what your readers want, start looking for affiliate programs. Choose ones that are well-known for good products, great customer service, and helpful support for affiliates. Resources to find these programs include:

  • Affiliate networks like ShareASale, Commission Junction, and ClickBank.
  • Direct searches for “[Your Niche] affiliate programs” in search engines.
  • Recommendations from other bloggers in your niche.

3. Evaluate the Commission Structure

The commission structure is a critical factor to consider. Look for programs that offer competitive rates that make your efforts worthwhile. Consider:

  • The percentage of commission per sale.
  • Whether the program offers a flat rate per action (e.g., per sign-up).
  • The cookie duration, which affects how long after a click you can earn commissions on sales.

4. Consider the Program’s Reputation and Sureness

Join affiliate programs with a solid reputation for quality and sureness. This not only ensures that you’re promoting good products but also that you’ll be paid on time. You can:

  • Read reviews from other affiliates.
  • Check the program’s history and background.
  • Look for any complaints or issues reported online.

5. Analyze the Support and Resources Offered

A good affiliate program gives you things like ads to use, training on their products, and helpful managers. Having access to these resources can really help you do a better job at promoting their products.

6. Understand the Terms and Conditions

Before signing up, thoroughly review the program’s terms and conditions. Pay close attention to:

  • Payment thresholds and methods.
  • Any restrictions on how you can promote their products.
  • The program’s policy on affiliate marketing on social media platforms.

7. Test the Product or Service

If possible, test the product or service before promoting it. This firsthand experience allows you to offer genuine charge and build trust with your audience.

8. Look for Recurring Commission Opportunities

Some affiliate programs pay you again and again for subscriptions or services that charge fees regularly. These can provide a more stable income compared to one-time sales commissions.

Implementing Your Choice

After choosing the best affiliate programs, the next step is to smoothly include your affiliate marketing in your content plan. This includes:

  • Creating valuable content that naturally incorporates affiliate links.
  • Disclosing your affiliate affairs transparently to maintain trust with your audience.
  • Tracking your results to understand what works best for your audience and adjusting your strategy accordingly.

Picking the best affiliate programs for your blog involves careful planning, research, and making sure they match what your audience likes and needs. 

If you follow these steps, you can create an affiliate marketing plan that makes money, fits well with your content, and connects with your readers. 

The real key to doing well with affiliate marketing isn’t just about the products you talk about, but also how much your audience trusts and values your advice. 

With enough time, patience, and hard work, your blog can grow into a successful space that earns a good amount of affiliate money and helps your readers choose the right products.

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