Success Advice
Don’t Pitch Straight Away: Show Value And Build Rapport First.
Understanding this concept has helped me in business and in life.
Whether you like it or not, your existence on this planet is made up of a series of pitches. You pitch to get into school. You pitch to get a girlfriend. You pitch to get a job or start a business. You pitch to get married. You pitch to have kids etc.
What are so many of you doing wrong?
Blindly pitching like a cheap salesperson in a 1990’s infomercial, selling a magic sponge.
Start with rapport.
Example to start with:
You send me a blind message on LinkedIn.
You say to me that you have the best product in a particular field and you’d like to discuss it with me.
You make no reference to anything I’ve done or anything that shows you know me.
You use a generic pitch template that you’ve sent to lots of people before me.
What do I do when I see any message, on any platform that does any of these four things? I do what the majority do.
I delete your message, ignore you and never deal with you or your business again.
And the beauty? It takes less than one second to get rid of your message and delete you forever.
I’m not telling you this to be an a**hole; I’m telling you so that you’ll stop hurting your chances of success. You must always start with rapport before you pitch anything. Period.
How do you start with rapport Mr. Tim?
You start by sending a quick message that’s no more than nine sentences long.
• The message must have a paragraph every three sentences so it’s easily readable.
• You must sound human. Crack a joke, show empathy etc.
• You must respect the persons time.
• You must get to the point quickly.
• You must show you care and you’ve done your research on the person.
This list above helps to build some initial rapport and make you likable. Likable people go places in life and get to chat with people that are valuable to them.
“Rapport is always the first step, not the pitch. The pitch works once rapport exists”
I thought everyone knew this but I’ve learned recently that this is not well-known. Now it is, no excuses.
By using rapport, you create a bridge that allows ideas to flow between yourself and the person you’re trying to chat with and eventually pitch. Once that bridge is established, you have a way to get through to the person and get them to take action.
Show value first.
What do I mean? Value is such a broad thing to explain. In simple terms, value means to deliver something that can be beneficial to the other person. The aim is actually mutual value. That’s where you both win out of the interaction.
Showing value is straight-forward.
“First, you do your research on the person you want to pitch. Then you try and work out what’s important to them”
Let me give you an example:
The other day I went to meet with a very influential recruiter about looking at some career options. Everyone wants him to represent them and he knows every possible company you could ever dream of working for. The roles he works on are all high paying and his endorsement can change your career.
Rather than go in and pitch him on why I’m the best candidate since Steve Jobs created Apple, I did my research. I checked out his Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook accounts.
I looked back on previous written correspondence we’d had. I worked out who initially introduced us to re-establish leverage and trust.
By doing my research, I took the following action:
– I didn’t wear a suit when I met him because his Twitter profile said he loves jeans
– I worked out where he was born (a place I’d been to) and talked about it
– I found a couple of highly influential people he didn’t know and offered an intro to them to drive revenue for his business
– I found one skill I had that he desperately needed (blogging and social media assistance)
The big pitch.
I arrived at the cafe early to meet the recruiter. I asked what he wanted and he requested a juice. Rather than just get him a bottle like any other monkey would, I asked him to take a seat (showing him I was paying) and spoke with the waitress to assess what juice options they had.
The waitress informed me that they had bottled juice and freshly squeezed juice. I told her that freshly squeezed would be great. Let’s stop there a second. Why did make the extra effort? Because demonstrating value involves showing that you care first. It’s the little details that count.
I finally took a seat and started with rapport building. I then created a sense of community by introducing several people we’d both worked with so things felt natural and like we were from the same flock.
I then spoke briefly about things that were personal to him to further demonstrate rapport.
Once all of that was out of the way, the execution was really easy. I’ll go slow.
I started by confirming that the thing I think he needed (social media advice) was something he wanted. I demonstrated using my phone, the ability to fulfill that need. I then offered (for free) to assist him with it if he wanted help.
The second part of the process was to see if the contact I thought he must know was valuable to him. He confirmed the contact was and I offered an intro which he gladly confirmed he wanted.
Then I came in with the pitch. Word for word, here’s what I said:
“Hey, I’ve got this small challenge that I’d love your advice on. I’m looking to reinvent my career and am looking to see what’s out there in the market, job wise. Where should I start?”
Now let’s take a minute to analyze this action. At this point, I’ve built rapport, given him access to a skill that I have which he wants, added one highly valuable contact to his network and made sure he has the best tasting juice to make his morning.
What do you think his response was?
He said the following:
“Tim, I think I can help you. It’s probably a good time to see what’s out there. Can you send me your resume and a few roles that interest you, and I’ll start chatting with a few contacts I know that I think will have roles that you’ll love.”
Rapport, tick.
Mutual value demonstrated, tick.
Sounding human, tick.
Simple, short, non-confronting pitch delivered, tick.
There’s one final step though: You have to actually do what you say you’re going to do. Getting someone all hot and sweaty over your pitch is useless if you don’t take action.
And taking action is not enough. The action needs to be swift.
So, what I did was ten minutes later, after arriving back at the office, I sent him an email and did the intro with everything that was promised. Execution is everything.
***Closing Thought***
Pitching straight away without doing any of the above is lazy. Lazy people end up failing at life and having huge regrets. You must show value and be in rapport with anyone you want to pitch. Putting in the extra time means fewer pitches and more successful results.
The people you are pitching to have limited time (so do you) and they can’t say yes to every request. Therefore, you need to take time to do it right. Otherwise, when you get turned down all the time, you have no one else to blame but yourself.
“Blindly sending messages that have a selfish pitch will get you nowhere”
It’s wasting your time and making you feel like crap. You can 10X your results with this simple pitch strategy. Try it and let me know how you go.
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
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Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
Success Advice
11 Mark Manson Lessons That’ll Redefine Success in the Digital Age
Success in the digital age isn’t about hacks, it’s about the raw, real lessons Mark Manson actually lives by.
In 2016, Mark Manson released The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, a brutally honest, thought-provoking book that redefined self-help for a new generation. (more…)
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