Connect with us

Success Advice

Dont Ever Let This One Thing Crush You And Your Dreams

Published

on

The Resistance Against Ambition - Need More Productivity

I’ve tried pretty much everything in the way of increasing productivity…

I’ve created to do lists, checklists, and goals for each day. I’ve dedicated special blocks of every day to writing, email, product creation, you name it.

I’ve read books about how to maximize productivity, how to get more done in less time, while at a higher quality.

Of everything I’ve read and out of everything I’ve tried, the greatest ally, tactic, or tip I’ve come across thus far, was given to me by Steven Pressfield, in his books, The War of Art and, Turning Pro

Both books cover a great deal about what it means to create something, far beyond what I’m going to talk about in this article. What they did that no other book had done before, is position doing work as a battle. A battle against an enemy that Pressfield calls, The Resistance.

 

What is the Resistance?

The Resistance is anything that keeps you from doing your work. It can be internal, in the form of fear, worry, or laziness. It can be external in the form of others who are trying to pry you away from your mission and your work.

 

The Resistance has a few definitive characteristics

 

The Resistance is persistent

You can defeat it in battle, even kill it, but it will always come back the next day. Battle against the Resistance is a daily endeavor for those of us who are trying to perfect our craft.

Whether you’re an athlete, a writer, a marketer, an artist in the conventional sense, or a person trying to lose a few pounds, but every time you start a diet, the world seems to conspire to get you to quite, you’re at war against the Resistance.

The Resistance is your fear of failure that prevents you from setting the big, hairy, audacious goals your soul truly wants to achieve, set, and create in your life. It’s your sense of worry that prevents you from aiming high enough, the voice inside of you that wants to remain small and safe.

The Resistance has to be defeated if you’re going to not only write the book your want to write, paint the painting your soul longs to create, or get paid to play the game you’re in love with, but it has to be defeated if you’re going to live.

Pressfield has one of the most eloquent and eye-opening definitions of ambition I’ve yet to read:

Ambition, I have come to believe, is the most primal and sacred fundamental of our being. To feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls. Not to act upon that ambition is to turn our backs on ourselves and on the reason for our existence. ~ Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro

Ambition isn’t merely what you want in life, it is life. To defeat the Resistance, is to live in accordance with what your soul truly longs for, what it feels this thing called life is all about.

 

The Resistance is cunning

The Resistance will try to rationalize your laziness. It’s your internal voice that tells you that the deadline can be pushed to tomorrow, that it’s “ok” to take just one, insignificant day off.

The Resistance will trick you if you don’t identify its existence, and wage war upon it.

If you ignore it, the Resistance will conquer you, leave you broke, weak, and as far away from accomplishing your goals, and the object of your ambition, as you can possibly be.

The only way to understand what it truly is, is to be aware that the Resistance exists, and it’s trying to kill you every day.

 

The Resistance is fear

The Resistance is relentless, persistent, and cunning. It can take the form of happy thoughts, of people you love, of selfish desires, but it’s always grounded, founded, and supported by fear.

Having read Mr. Pressfield’s books many times over, and waging war against this demon daily, I still find it hard to determine whether it’s the Resistance talking, or me. I have to focus to determine whether it’s a venture – or an adventure – I truly want to pursue, or one that’s guided by fear.

Fear always wants to lead us to safer pastures. Fear isn’t something we should avoid, or move with, but something we should oppose.

If something scares us, then it’s a pretty good determinant of something we should be doing, pursuing, moving towards, and giving every ounce of our energy to.

It’s the things we fear most, that we often want most.

Our greatest fears aren’t snakes, crocodiles, or spiders, but failure in what we’d most like to do with our lives. Our greatest fears in life are that we’ll die without doing what our souls know we should be doing.

When we take the first step to accomplishing this object of our fear, the Resistance throws everything it possibly can at us. It puts more on our plate, reasons with us as to why now isn’t the time, brings a relationship into our lives, the death of a loved one, another interest that’s easier, a route that is safer to take.

 

The Resistance is real. It’s cunning, persistent, and relentless

It will attack us when we’re about to embark on our great journey, or we’re about to realize is become something real, tangible, a creation. Identify the enemy if you want to live a strong life, ignore it if you want to live a small one.

Fight it everyday as the alarm rings and you’d rather stay in bed. Defeat it with every step towards perfecting your craft, facing your fears, and conquering that voice inside of you that wants nothing more than safety.

If you’re waging this war, and fighting this battle. I applaud you. You’re one of the few.

 

Chad Howse is the creator of Be Legendary, a company dedicated to helping guys experience greatness in Fitness, Work, & Life. Chad has been featured in Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Shape magazines, and is a contributor to the Art of Manliness, and Addicted2Success.

Advertisement
12 Comments

12 Comments

  1. Timothy

    Apr 29, 2016 at 6:42 am

    Then there’s the incredible realisation that you made the ‘resistance’ up in the first place. You v your ego! The fight is not to see how great you can become – but how great your authentic act of service can be.

  2. Aarzoo Mastan

    Jun 30, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Amazing thoughts …if someone really understood can change his or her life….

  3. Thani

    Jun 24, 2013 at 4:30 am

    Thank you for sharing this, I feel like I’m about to actually realizing what it is holding me back. I”m doing my best or should say I should giving it my all to fight the fear that is holding me back. I know part of the reason why, just I have yet to identify it.

  4. Kerry Brooks

    Jun 23, 2013 at 8:14 am

    This was just what I needed to hear at this time in my life when I feel completely stuck about what I want to do. This is the second time in a week I’ve been recommended these books so I’m obviously meant to read them! God works in mysterious ways … thank you for an inspiring article Chad 😀

  5. Ebere

    Jun 17, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks for sharing Chad. I know i will succeed in my endeavors if i can overcome The Resistance but i am seriously struggling with it on a daily basis and it seems to be having a upper hand 🙁

  6. Simona L

    Jun 14, 2013 at 6:31 am

    I like how Chad wrote this article. And I find myself fighting the resistance everyday. Thanks for the great insight chad. Power to all who dare to be great 🙂 🙂 🙂

  7. Dave

    Jun 14, 2013 at 5:03 am

    This is awesome. Thanks for sharing. It’s remarkable, both these books have come on my radar recently and I’ve been meaning to get them.

    • chadhowse

      Jun 14, 2013 at 2:35 pm

      Read them, Dave. They’re unique. If you’re a guy who likes competition, they’ll definitely help you flourish in your business/art/venture.

  8. Natalie

    Jun 13, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    I fight The Resistance, seemingly, everyday. Some days it’s just a skirmish, other days it’s a major battle. Over time, I have managed to move the battle lines in my favor.

    • chadhowse

      Jun 14, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      That’s awesome Natalie!

    • shobelyn dayrit

      Jun 17, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      So good for you. Right now, I am still struggling but I am getting better each day by accepting how life is suppose to be.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

3 Areas You Should Focus on to Become a Great Leader

Published

on

how to be a great leader
Image Credit: Unsplash

Having listened to all of our stakeholders and being fully aware of the situation, spring is a good time to conduct a quarterly review to see exactly where we are in order. This helps us have a clear starting point to re-adjust our goals for the coming year.

One of the main problems tends to be that we look back at the things we haven’t done and where we didn’t get the results we intended. Because of this, we get ourselves in a state of anxiety which is hardly a resourceful state for setting positive goals.

A better approach is to be nice to ourselves. Have a look back over the last three months and check all the things you have achieved. Give yourself a treat for all of the things you planned to achieve and did. They may be something as simple as maintaining a to-do list or smiling more.

Afterwards, think of all the things you achieved which weren’t planned and congratulate yourself on your flexibility and creativity; for the person with the greatest flexibility of behaviour controls the outcomes.

For those results that weren’t as you intended, remind yourself that we all make the correct choice at the time we make it. We don’t deliberately make the wrong choices and whatever the outcome, there’s always a positive intention. There’s no failure, only feedback, and we learn more from our failures than we do our successes.

“Be good to yourself. Listen to your body, to your heart. We’re very hard on ourselves, and we’re always feeling like we’re not doing enough. It’s a terribly hard job.” – Marcia Wallace

Look to yourself

It is vital, especially for sole proprietors or owner/managers, to manage themselves in order to be fit, healthy, and relatively happy. Evidence points to a clear relationship between our moods and assorted aspects of job performance such as decision-making, creativity, teamwork, negotiation and leadership.

While success may put us in a good mood, an organisation that sees the glass as half full rather than half empty, stands a better chance in these difficult times.

Depressed individuals will always see the glass as half-empty and even rapidly emptying. This attitude saps energy and leaves those affected feeling worthless, helpless, and hopeless. In its worst case, depression can impair the ability to communicate and it’s not hard to see the organisational parallels.

Below are three elements within all of us that need to be taken care of:

1. Your mind

The key to a healthy mind is variety, so take an interest in other people, things, events and current affairs. Adopting an open and curious mindset allows us to see future possibilities and hence be more empowered.

2. Your body

A healthy body requires a solid routine. Ensure you eat and drink healthy products (especially water) and get plenty of rest and exercise. Knowing our own limitations and taking action to stay within them ensures we operate at our best.

3. Your spirit

Much has been written about feeding or maintaining the spirit but I believe there is one simple rule. Believe in something that is true to you and spend time each day with your true beliefs. Solitude is the nurse of enthusiasm and is as needful to the imagination as friends are to our character.

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” – Dolly Parton

Beyond individual performance, there are broader issues at stake. None of us are islands, happy in our own little depressed world. Moods, good or bad, are infectious and some people or positions can have a greater ripple effect than others. If a shy apprentice has a gloomy outlook, few may notice. But if people like the owner/manager are wandering around looking like the end of the world is coming, that can directly affect team spirit.

Water bearer or well poisoner

So what can the organisation do? Firstly, as individuals, we must show a positive and upbeat demeanor. That’s not easy and faking it will easily be spotted as the deception will be transparent. This isn’t unauthentic, but merely an attempt to empower ourselves.

Congruent leadership offers the means to put into words what it is you are experiencing with the person in order so your behaviour is consistent with your own values and beliefs such that you always appear to be what you desire to be.

Your mood as a leader then is highly contagious. Even though leaders or opinion formers aren’t always in leadership positions, they’re at the centre of informal networks. They have charisma and magnetism, possess strong opinions, and express them forcefully. Therefore, they have considerable social power and can have a direct effect on morale by being a water bearer or well poisoner. Which are you today?

What resonated most with you about this article and leadership? Share your thoughts below!

Continue Reading

Success Advice

The 6 Step Process for Delivering Critical Feedback in a Constructive Way

Published

on

how to deliver constructive feedback
Image Credit: Unsplash

We have all been in the position where we knew we needed to have a difficult conversation at work that involved delivering constructive feedback. Maybe a major deadline was missed, there was a clear decline in performance, or someone blatantly dropped the ball. Most of us avoid delivering the feedback, and the conversation can get pushed back again and again, wasting valuable time and money.

Delivering constructive feedback is challenging, and uncomfortable for most people, even highly trained leaders. Yet, delivering and accepting feedback is one of the most important keys for success. So why do we avoid these conversations? Because we never learned how to have them.

Open, honest, direct communication is not a skill we are taught in school. There is no “How to Have Tough Conversations” 101. As a clinical psychologist that specializes in couples work, I see just how important communication is in maintaining thriving relationships. I understand that good communication is the foundation of every successful relationship; both intimate relationships and your work relationships.

Below is a 6-step guide to providing constructive feedback:

Step 1: Clarity on the Goal of the Conversation  

The first step is to get clear on the goal of the feedback conversation. Are you planning to see a change in performance, simply communicate how you felt, or receive an apology? Get clear on what you are hoping to get out of the conversation. Be honest with yourself about what you need, what is most helpful to the relationship, and what is most helpful to the organization. Getting clear on the goal also ensures you are speaking with the right person.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

Step 2: Invitation

Set up a time to talk. Feedback conversations are not meant to be had in the hallway. It is important that both parties can set aside adequate time and have the space needed for dialogue. Additionally, there must be respect for both parties’ need for time to process information. For example, if you are delivering feedback, and the receiver needs time to process the feedback before responding, setting up a subsequent meeting will be most helpful.

Step 3: Ownership

Own the role you played in creating the situation. When you model ownership of blind spots, failures, or missteps, you set the stage for the receiver to do the same. For example, you may acknowledge that you were not aware of how to support your employee and not aware of the problem until x situation occurred. Equally important as owning your role, is owning your emotions. Own your emotions using “I” statements. For example, “I felt disappointed when I realized your sales performance had substantially declined”.

Step 4: Open, Honest, Direct Feedback

Feedback that dances around the problem does not do anyone any good. It only increases anxiety on behalf of the receiver, and potentially causes the feedback to get totally lost. The conversation needs to be open, honest, and direct. For example: “I felt concerned when you did not attend the last two strategy calls this month…It brought up questions for me about your commitment to the company.”

Step 5: Listen, Validate and Accept

When providing feedback, it is important both parties maintain an open mind, and respond in a way that communicates validation and acceptance. As soon as an individual gets defensive, feedback cannot be taken in, and the value of the conversation dramatically decreases. When providing feedback it is important to listen, validate, and accept your receiver’s viewpoint. Notice, I did not say agree. This looks something like saying: “I can see why X led you to commit Y , I understand you were under a great deal of stress/dealing with a personal situation/frustrated.”

“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates

Step 6: A Clear Plan for Moving Forward

In providing feedback, the magic is that now things can change! If feedback is never given, relationships end, things will stay the same, businesses will die, and money will be lost. If you have gotten to this step, that means you did the hard work, and now you get to put change into action. A clear plan includes an acknowledgement from both parties regarding what they will do differently to prevent the situation from occurring again, and how they will stay accountable in making the change happen.

The good news about delivering feedback is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Remember, giving and receiving feedback is one of the most surefire ways to open yourself up to massive growth.

As a giver of feedback, it is your job to model openness and a desire for growth, so that the receiver may take in the feedback and make the necessary changes. Exceling at feedback delivery will help you set you apart from others and enable you to achieve extraordinary relationships, in both your personal and work lives.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

Published

on

why you should have a podcast
Image Credit: Unsplash

Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

Continue Reading

Success Advice

5 Essential Skills to Drive Success in Every Niche

Published

on

skill building
Image Credit: Unsplash

There are many people who don’t have the courage to launch a business in a niche as they think they don’t have the right skills and experience to obtain success. While there are specific skills which determine the success in every niche, there are also some general skills which ensure success in any business you would try.

Below are 5 essential skills you need to drive success in every aspect of your life:

1. Ambition

When you launch a new business, you need to be prepared for difficult moments such as fighting the competition and winning your target audience. Moreover, if you follow some successful entrepreneurs, you should keep in mind that they also faced difficulties and continue to experience them. So, how does a successful entrepreneur get over all the difficulties?

The essential skill you need to possess is called ambition. Set small and clear milestones in your development plan and use your ambition to go over each difficulty and finalize what you had in your mind. It doesn’t matter how hard the path is going to be. Visualize your target and put in all the efforts to achieve it. Staying organized and scheduling each step to get things done are some of the techniques you can use to achieve success.

2. Listen to those around you

While listening to your instincts is necessary if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, this is not enough. As your business develops, you will have an entire team to manage and lead to success. Therefore, you cannot be a successful leader and have success in every niche unless you learn how to listen to the people around you.

You should listen to your employees and discover what they are expecting from you. This is the way to follow if you want to keep your team motivated and help them give the best of themselves.

On the other hand, you will need to listen to your customers to improve your products and services and provide excellent customer support. By listening carefully to the voice of your customers, you will be able to stand out of the competition and ensure their loyalty towards your brand.

“We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.” – Jeff Bezos

3. Courage

When you decided to become an entrepreneur and build your own business, it means you are a courageous person. Courage will help you harness the power of creativity. Don’t be afraid to take risks if you feel a specific action will bring more success to your business.

Apart from doing intensive research on your ideas and developing the exact steps you are going to follow, you will need the courage to implement them. Not all the ideas will turn out to be successful.

Regardless, you will have something to learn from each success or mistake and this will help you move your business even further. When you have the courage to follow a path which is not very familiar to you, this is going to be the moment when you will widen your horizons and exceed your limits to achieve success.

4. Creativity and imagination

If you already implemented your idea and you see that it works, you most probably think that you don’t need to change anything to achieve more success. You need to keep in mind that customers’ preferences change and your competition is waiting for your mistakes to “steal” your clients.

Therefore, you need to use your creativity and imagination to improve your products and services to meet your customers’ expectations. What is more, creativity can also mean that you are open to talk to new people and use their experience to improve something in your business.

“Get closer than ever to your customers. So close that you tell them what they need well before they realize it themselves.” – Steve Jobs

5. Continuous learning

If you want to drive success in every niche you will need to show a willingness to learn. You need to stay updated with what happens in your niche and what your customers expect from you.

Education is not only something for school. It is a lifelong process, and you should be open to seek knowledge and improve your skills with every opportunity. An efficient trick is to stay close to people who are already successful in your industry, ask their opinions on various subjects and learn from their experience.

The above five essential skills will help you build a successful business in every niche. A true leader is ambitious, knows to listen to the people around him, and is always open to learning from others.

No matter the size of your business, you will need to be creative and use your imagination to improve your products and services. These skills will help any leader develop new skills, stand out of the crowd, and strengthen his position on the market.

What skill do you think is most important to be successful in life? Let us know below!

Continue Reading

Trending