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Develop These Two Character Traits to Become a Person Who Will Always Be Remembered

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If you’d like to learn how to develop exceptional traits so you can be a person everyone wants to be around, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.


Having a decent conversation with another person is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s much easier to talk and to express one’s opinion more than ever, but it’s now far harder to converse. We need not look beyond our political climate to know this. It’s not so much that we can’t talk about politics, because everyone is more than happy to share their opinion. It’s rather that we can’t converse since we don’t tend to listen.

In her book, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, journalist Kate Murphy recounts the story of a bi-partisan conversation. In this meeting, the moderator attempted to facilitate conversation by the use of a talking stick. What ended up happening? Someone threw the stick at someone else.

The worst thing about this is probably not that it happened, but that we’re all not that surprised that it did. 

To Sell is Human

In his book, To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink posits that the majority of Westerners spend the majority of their time at work and in life, in sales. It may not be convincing someone to buy a car or a photocopier, but in some way, most of us are trying to convince somebody to do something. We are constantly trying to convince our children, partners, clients, and colleagues.

Right now, I am trying to sell you on the idea that listening is one of the greatest and most necessary skills for true success. Why? Because great salespeople, and therefore great people, listen.

Take for example the classic story of the origin of the Betty Crocker cake mix. All one needed to bake a cake was to add water to the mix and throw it in the oven. You would think it’d sell like hotcakes, but it didn’t.

As it turns out, people felt guilty about using it. It was too easy. So General Mills listened, took that information, and required the mix to need real eggs. What happened? Sales soared.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

How can we become better listeners?

Why is selling and listening so hard today? Because we are slowly (or rather rapidly), losing two qualities: Confidence and Curiosity.

1. Confidence

In her book, Murphy suggests that insecure people can’t or don’t like to listen. She writes, “Confident people don’t get riled by opinions different from their own, nor do they spew bile online by way of refutation. Secure people don’t decide others are irredeemably stupid or malicious without knowing who they are as individuals.”

But isn’t that what most people do? If we’re being honest, isn’t that what we do? Isn’t the reason why we can’t talk about politics or religion because we aren’t confident and secure in our own beliefs and self? Or maybe we are afraid that the person we are talking to will throw a talking stick at our head.

In their book, The Coddling of the American Mind, Lukianoff and Haidt, recount story after story of college students associating challenged beliefs to physical harm. More and more, young people are associating if not equating having their beliefs challenged to being physically harmed. Consequently, students have reacted in physical violence towards people/groups that have peacefully met because they did not like what they heard.

According to a nationwide survey of college and university students conducted by the Brookings Institution, “More than half, 51 percent, thought it was “acceptable” to shout down a speaker with whom they disagreed and almost a fifth, 19 percent, supported using violence to prevent a speaker from delivering an address.” 

2. Curiosity

Have you ever thought, “how can people ignore science? the facts? the evidence?” We have all been there. Trying to convince somebody of something, providing all the facts, research, and logic, and yet the person will not even consider our opinion.

Dan M. Kahan, Elizabeth K. Dollard Professor of Law and Professor of Psychology at Yale Law School, suggests it is because they do not possess or have lost their scientific curiosity. People simply do not want or even care to know what the “other” person thinks or another possibility.

This shouldn’t be a surprise in our hyper-individualized society where we are told to trust our gut and ourselves. When “your truth is yours and my truth is mine,” becomes the dominant script, it reinforces the view that other people’s opinions and views are not important nor informed.

President Donald Trump famously said, “My primary consultant is myself.” If we were honest, how many of us would say the same thing?

To become a good listener and therefore a good salesperson, or simply a good person, we must possess curiosity. We must develop an attitude and posture that genuinely seeks to understand something or someone, that we can’t initially.

“Being a good listener is absolutely critical to being a good leader; you have to listen to the people who are on the front line.” – Richard Branson

Hand in Hand

What is so fascinating in our “believe in yourself,” “trust your gut,” “your truth is your truth” world, is that people are becoming less confident and less curious. None of us get defensive or violent when a child gives their opinion or challenges our own beliefs. But when an adult does, we may find ourselves in a panicky rage.

If you’re aware of the concept of an echo chamber— people are more and more ignoring what they already do not believe and believing more deeply what they already do. Their news feed, Facebook feed, and other social media feeds, purposefully feed information that they like (which is often what they agree with), increasing the narrative they already possess.

Although we are politically still 50/50, it is vastly different than it was 25 years ago. As late as the 90s, republicans and democrats were able to make decisions together for the greater good. Apparently, Democratic Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill and Republican President Ronald Reagan would have drinks together after work at the White House. After one particular polarized fight, O’Neil said to Reagan, “Reagan, “Old buddy, that’s politics—after six o’clock, we can be friends.” 

We think we have become more enlightened but science, research, and evidence would suggest otherwise. The vast majority of us are becoming less confident and curious, and more insecure and arrogant. We are becoming poor listeners, and therefore poor salespeople and ultimately poor leaders and people.

If any of us want to become truly great and successful people that are worth listening to, then we better learn how to listen. We all have to work with people and we are all selling ideas, so we better learn how to listen and become both confident in our beliefs and genuinely curious about others.

What do you think is the most important trait of a successful person? Share your thoughts below!

Ryan Lui is a high-performance coach who helps business leaders raise their performance so they can reach their goals. He understands that worthy goals require work and a high-performing person. Therefore, he helps people increase their focus, move forward, and go faster towards fulfilling their great and good goals. Ryan resides in the beautiful Pacific NorthWest. He loves black coffee in the morning, riding his bike through the city, and talking to people about their personality type. Connect with him at ryanlui.com.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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Success Advice

What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)

Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

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leadership tips for new CEO
Image Credit: Midjourney

When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

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entrepreneurial leadership skills and traits
Image Credit: Midjourney

When you think of Richard Branson (Virgin Group), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation), and Ted Turner (CNN), one thing becomes clear: they are not just entrepreneurs, they are entrepreneurial leaders. (more…)

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