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A New Year, Just Keep On Being You

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I was always one of those people who set New Years’ Resolutions/goals for the year ahead – to earn X amount, to exercise more, to relax more. My personal opinion is that goals for ourselves, our business or performance; whatever it is, are important to have – they help to keep focused if nothing else.

New Year’s Resolutions can include: 

  • No chocolate
  • No alcohol
  • Gym 3 or 4 times per week
  • Losing X amount of pounds or stone in well
  • To achieve that job promotion

These are different kinds of goals that I’ve just mentioned; some are ‘refrain from’ goals and some are ‘aspirational’ goals. Many of us – including myself in this, give ourselves new and pressured targets to achieve something because it is the turn of the year. What is it about January? How is it different to say, the 1st May, or the 1st September?

It seems, it’s all about having a new start, a new beginning, a new ‘US’ if you like. It’s great to approach a new year with enthusiasm, renewed vigour and hope. We also know though that most New Years’ Resolutions don’t last – we generally go back to living the way we were the previous year. The thing is, a year hasn’t past – that January 1st date is only one day – just one day after the previous year and one week or so since the festive period. 

We’ve got ourselves in this moment, so whether it is the beginning of January, the start of spring, or the wind down of summer, we’ll always just have ourselves in this moment. That is quite powerful because it can help us to understand where those New Year’s Resolutions are coming from.

With our intellect in play, we make sense of a lot of things from the outside world such as:

  • Gym memberships – we should be going to the gym, four times per week and start the year fresh
  • We should be losing weight now that we’ve over indulged
  • We should be aspiring for things that we didn’t last year
  • We should be detoxing our bodies
  • We should be believing the things that we’re hearing or reading regarding what is important, expectations and so on

Experience tells me that it doesn’t work like that. There is something deeper at work here.

What if we’re content in just making decisions that we’re making for ourselves and know that they’re the right decisions?

What if we just know that opinions and expectations can influence our thinking and we have the choice not to take things so serious?

What if we can listen and be guided by ourselves, rather than outside pressures, and know that we are creating our own experience in relation to those outside factors – not the other way round?

This is our time and I’d like to invite you to consider for a moment, where are our New Years’ Resolutions really coming from?

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do we really need to make a ‘new’ us?

Do we really think a new ‘us’ starts at the beginning of January and that everything that was going on in the outside world will stop affecting us? In reference to the outside world, I was thinking of day-to-day things that occur such as social drinks and invites, nights out, work deadlines, child getting sick, long days, car breaking down or an argument with our partner.

These are all day-to-day things that I know from experience and also in working with clients, that tend to lead people into going back to their old ways.

The thing is, it might look like there was an old us and that we’ve magically created a new us, however, that hasn’t happened. Likewise, even though we may have behaved in a certain way previously when an outside world event has taken place, it doesn’t mean to say we will behave in the same way next time.

I’m not saying that going to the gym is not healthy and has many other benefits; I’m not saying that drinking less alcohol has its benefits; I’m not saying that eating lots of junk food is good for us and I’m certainly not saying we shouldn’t aspire to things.

It’s more about, if we’re coming from a place of secure thinking, as opposed to insecure thinking, then we’ll feel – we’ll just know what we need to do to work towards any goal, whether we decide to call this a ‘New Year’s Resolution’ or a ‘Mid-Life goal’, or a ‘Pre-Summer Target’.

It’s not the gym and losing weight that will make us feel secure and better about ourselves; the saving money that will make us feel safer, or the job promotion that will lead to less stress in our lives. That comes from within us, in the moment.

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” – Helen Keller

We don’t necessarily need to create a new ‘us’

We are new in every moment. Please allow that to sink in for a few seconds – we are new in every moment and all we need to know is our next step and the next step after that as we work towards any goal that we set ourselves. In doing that, those steps that we are taking will allow us to feel like we are gliding effortlessly, moving forwards and achieving things that we never felt capable of achieving.

There will be hiccups along the way. As they happen, we’re in danger of not following through on those resolutions we’ve set ourselves. So what? How and why would that matter? To who does that matter? Your rules or someone else’s?

Do we think that everything ends on the date that we’ve set ourselves to achieve that ‘thing’? It doesn’t. Not to mention the judging of ourselves or being judged by rules or parameters that have been set, that are essentially made up.

Perhaps a healthier way of judging ourselves is against the things we are doing, as opposed to the things we’re NOT doing. That way, if those hiccups do occur we may have already achieved two weeks of our intended four week goal, been to the gym on less occasions, or even managed to get out of bed on 4 out of 7 days, rather than none. Our results may not have been the results that we’d set ourselves, however, we still haven’t failed. We still haven’t lost. We’re still in the game and we are the ones that can choose to believe whether we are still IN the game or not.

We’re new now, we do not need to create a new version of ‘US’. Trust ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are and have confidence that we’re still in the game. We were never out of it.

Enjoy the year ahead (and by the way, I mean that from the date you’re reading this!). Whatever happens, just keep on being you.

What’s the one thing you’d like to achieve this year? Share it with us below so we can keep you accountable!

Dave Knight helps to change lives through a conversation that guides people back towards their innate health and wellbeing. With a background in mental health, addictions, business and sport, his time is being dedicated to educating people through Articles, his Bulletproof Yourself products, 1:1 work with clients; small groups, as well as articles. The focus of the work is to help people feel bulletproof against any area of challenge in their lives.

Success Advice

10 Tips to Deal With Negativity While Starting a Business

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There are ups and downs in business but fearing failures can stop you from taking your first step towards excellence. With pandemic on tow, aspiring entrepreneurs feel a little stuck when ideating a business prospect. Here, we give you some actionable tips to deal with negativity while starting a business, even during situations like a pandemic. We also took the liberty to throw in some amazing book recommendations that’ll help you enjoy the process of being positive and achieving your business goals.

10 Tips to deal with negativity while starting a business in a pandemic

1. Get a mentor

The first thing to do as a new business owner is to find the right kind of mentor. That person could be someone in your industry or in general who you look up to. The guidance must be apt for your business, and it should be a mutual responsibility of sharing knowledge. 

2. Two big R’s – Routine and Refresh

Made a mess of something? Try to reboot the situation and make it work. Take a break once in a while and refresh yourself if you feel stuck or your ideas feel mundane. Plan a routine and stick to them – both personal and professional. Having a routine can increase productivity and engage in more activities apart from your pre-planned schedule. 

3. Inculcate problem-solving mentality

Do not panic once you are thrown a problem. Arrange a meeting with the respective party, listen to both sides of the stories, and make a decision that is more realistic and feasible. 

4. Hire half and half

Whenever you hire someone for your business. Make sure that half of the people contradict your ideas, and the other half have the same mindset as yours. The people who contradict can bring in more valuable points and their perspective might take the discussion to a whole new level.  Don’t take too much time finding the perfect one. Hire an apt person who can have the right attitude. 

5. Network, Network, and Network

Find like-minded people and mingle with them. Be more sportive in the learning process. Listen more and talk less – if you are a beginner. You can only be a constructive person who gives input to someone if you have listened to everyone’s point of view. If you feel down, your network might have something to uplift your mood and change your perspective on something. 

“Negativity, in general, is one of the things that holds people back, and you have to see what’s holding you back to get away from it.” – Lucy Dacus

6. Tech-savvy personnel

Learn a thing or two about the latest technology that you implement in your organization. Since the world revolves around technology, make sure your administrative authority knows as well.  

7. Don’t schedule a meeting, that could have been an email

Yes! I said it. Having unnecessary meetings will weaken the purpose of having a constructive discussion. Having back-to-back meetings drains the team members and yourself too. Always have a 10 to 15 minutes break between each meeting to feel refreshed and give your 100%. 

8. Have a pros and cons list

Always, I mean always have a pros and cons list. Let’s say one of your team members pitch an idea to improve the marketing strategies starting next month. Jot down the pros and cons before approving or rejecting it point-blank. It’s a systematic way of making a decision. 

9. Track your finances

Even if you have a team of accountants and auditors, make sure that you are present (both mentally and physically) – learn if you are not aware of it. Trusting your employees is a must, but not overseeing the records is a mistake that should be avoided. 

10. Remember your “why?”

At some point in your hectic schedule or not having ME time can get to you. During those tough times – ask yourself – “Why am I doing this?”. If you can answer this question with a valid explanation, you’ll feel energized. Because “A purpose drives you”. 

5 Best books to read to be more positive as an entrepreneur

Reading always puts me into perspective. Therefore, I took some liberty to give a sample of positivity and determination through words. 

These are the 5 books that’ll guide you to be a more positive and successful entrepreneur. 

  1. Attitude is everything by Jeff Keller – The decisions you make, the routine you set for yourself, and the affirmations you say to yourself every day are going to make a huge difference. If you feel tired, hopeless, and quitting – then this book is for you to boost you up!
  2. Mindset: The new psychology of success by Carol Dweck – You do what you think. In this book, the author talks about two mindsets: The growth mindset and the fixed mindset and what they’ll do to you respectively. She helps you recognize your mindset and change it for the better. 
  3. Innovator’s Dilemma by Clayton Christensen – This book is about technology uprisings all over the world and businesses that adopted and implemented technology in their firm. The author teaches you that just because your competitors and others are adopting something into their businesses doesn’t mean that you have to as well. Make an informed decision. 
  4. As A Man Thinketh by James Allen – This book specifically is about the power of thought and how it shapes your life into a more meaningful and fulfilling one.
  5. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – The author talks about how people always keep thinking about what the future holds but then forget to live and enjoy the present. And also helps us understand how to make decisions more efficiently based on the present. 

Working towards inner balance requires consistency and perseverance. So does hard and smart work. Being negative is a part of our lives. It’s important to channel it appropriately and make things happen despite the roller coaster ride that is our lives. Hope you overcome your fears and negativity to shine bigger and brighter. Cheers! 

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Defining Your Own Success: A Step by Step Guide

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Everyone wants success in their lives, but success can be defined in so many different ways that it can sometimes seem daunting. In this blog post, you will learn how to make success easier for yourself by defining what success means to you. (more…)

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5 Characteristics of Athletes You Need for Business Success

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Michigan State basketball coach, Tom Izzo, wrote “Players play. Tough players win.” I would add to that, “It’s tough to win.”I think if you, as a leader, are looking to build an organization that is successful – that wins – you first have to accept that it will be tough. There are no shortcuts to success. In my 44 years of coaching, I was fortunate to coach a lot of tough players. I believe the toughness I have seen in athletes corresponds well to any organization or business. (more…)

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Success Advice

5 Changes in Your Habits That Will Help You Thrive

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We’ve all found ourselves at the bottom at least once in our lives. We thought that everything’s ruined and there’s no going back. The truth is – there’s always going back. Moreover, it takes one to fall many times and feel like everything’s ruined to succeed in life. (more…)

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