Success Advice

7 Signs It’s Time To Break Up With Your Mentor

Published

6 years ago

Dec 20, 2017

when is it time to break up with your mentor?

There are many reasons why you might want to ditch your mentor. Maybe the relationship ran its course, maybe the mentor wasn’t a good fit, perhaps the relationship has been outgrown. Your needs may have shifted since the relationship was established or maybe your mentor was an emotional vampire who literally sucked the life out of you.

Relationships can be hard and break ups can suck. Same applies to mentorship. As there is a beginning to the relationship, there is an end. While in a professional mentoring capacity there is a process that both parties follow in bringing closure to ensure a finality to the relationship.

What tends to happen in the less formal mentoring relationships is that some tend to avoid any conversation as they may be uncomfortable with saying goodbye whilst others drift over time without any real explanation as to why. Unresolved closure can stain the fabric of the relationship unnecessarily.

When the relationship has gone off course and needs are not being met, it’s time to consider ending the relationship with class and grace.

Here are 7 signs that it’s time to break up with your mentor:

1. You’re no longer learning

When the gut feeling kicks in, the uneasiness is starting to filter, it’s time to put on the self-reflective hat. Ask yourself what value you have gained from your mentor and what you feel that you are not getting to be able to move forward. Delve deeper and take an internal exploration to identify what’s missing and if there is a possibility to reshape the relationship.

When you are clear on what you want it to look like, then it will position you to decide as to whether your mentor has the mindset, heartset and skill set to facilitate the growth experience. When you hit the pause button you begin to unveil your needs and the future pathway. If you are no longer learning or chemistry is not there, don’t prolong the inevitable. Staying in the relationship is a disservice to both parties. It’s time to move on.

“The best way a mentor can prepare another leader is to expose him or her to other great people.” – John C. Maxwell

2. You’re no longer doing what’s required

Every so often one or the other party fails to show up or completely abandons the relationship. When a mentor is assigned or imposed, mentees fail to take it seriously and often leave or do the required minimum with no desire to continue. Phase things out gradually and don’t burn the boats by abandoning the relationship. You may need them in the future to take you to dry land.

3. You have unproductive meetings

A series of unproductive meetings may be a signal that a mentoring relationship has run its course. You shouldn’t be afraid to explicitly dial down the frequency of meetings or stop them entirely. End the relationship by simply letting them know that you have grown through the experience, provide specific examples and you will be in contact with them if a specific issue arises in the future.

4. Too many cancellations or reschedules

Too many cancellations or reschedules should ring alarms bells. As a good beginning is important, so is a good ending. Be prepared to end those relationships that are unproductive and lack commitment. Invest in the ones that will take you to the next level.

Be as truthful as why the relationship is ending and tie up loose ends. No need for anyone or any details to be left hanging. Honor the relationship for the growth opportunity and remain respectful beyond the conversation. You never know when paths will cross.

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” – Bob Proctor

5. They keep giving you the same advice over and over again

Most mentor relationships begin with the purest of intentions. Mentors provide guidance based on their experience and sage advice. The mentee role is critical in listening to the content that is being provided and how this advice is crafted to suit a situation. The literal application rarely works as the parameters in its application would be different.

It is necessary to craft individual solutions to challenges. If your mentor offers the same advice to you in multiple situations or insists that the way they proceeded was the only pathway to consider, then warning bells should start to ring.

6. Your mentor isn’t letting you fail

Mentors can provide sound advice, guidance and direction when needed to transcend limitations, finding solutions or trying to keep your head above water in a sinking ship. Even though the mentor can play the savior role, it’s not helpful or healthy.

If you invest too much time relying on the advice of others to solve problems, you run the risk of never failing and experiencing one of the most valuable ways to become a better professional human being. Learning experiences are not always positive yet lead to contemplation and new possibilities.

Always doing the right thing breeds complacency and stagnant thinking. The growth is in the learning and failure is just feedback. The ones who truly succeed are not afraid of taking risks and expanding their unfamiliar zones.

7. Mentor is experiencing separation anxiety

As most parents experience their children leaving home, same principle applies to the mentee wanting to distance themselves from mentors. Mentors who are not ready for the separation can feel abandoned, angry or resentful and even impede the mentee’s opportunities for progression stalled.

When breaking up the relationship, delicate and respectful handling is required. Do not attempt to give feedback while emotions are running high. Invest in maintaining a good rapport within the professional network around the mentor.

What is your experience with breaking up with your mentor? Comment below!

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Angela Kambouris

Angela Kambouris used to work with high risk kids in the streets of Melbourne, now she has her own consultancy business and writes for large publications. As a leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma, she has built a high-level career as an executive and transitioned into a business owner. She has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. Love to travel, experience difference cultures and mastermind with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world. Connect with her through her website http://angelakambouris.com/ or through her Facebook.

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How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

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3 weeks ago

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In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness.

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be.

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.