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7 Signs It’s Time To Break Up With Your Mentor

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when is it time to break up with your mentor?

There are many reasons why you might want to ditch your mentor. Maybe the relationship ran its course, maybe the mentor wasn’t a good fit, perhaps the relationship has been outgrown. Your needs may have shifted since the relationship was established or maybe your mentor was an emotional vampire who literally sucked the life out of you.

Relationships can be hard and break ups can suck. Same applies to mentorship. As there is a beginning to the relationship, there is an end. While in a professional mentoring capacity there is a process that both parties follow in bringing closure to ensure a finality to the relationship.

What tends to happen in the less formal mentoring relationships is that some tend to avoid any conversation as they may be uncomfortable with saying goodbye whilst others drift over time without any real explanation as to why. Unresolved closure can stain the fabric of the relationship unnecessarily.

When the relationship has gone off course and needs are not being met, it’s time to consider ending the relationship with class and grace.

Here are 7 signs that it’s time to break up with your mentor:

1. You’re no longer learning

When the gut feeling kicks in, the uneasiness is starting to filter, it’s time to put on the self-reflective hat. Ask yourself what value you have gained from your mentor and what you feel that you are not getting to be able to move forward. Delve deeper and take an internal exploration to identify what’s missing and if there is a possibility to reshape the relationship.

When you are clear on what you want it to look like, then it will position you to decide as to whether your mentor has the mindset, heartset and skill set to facilitate the growth experience. When you hit the pause button you begin to unveil your needs and the future pathway. If you are no longer learning or chemistry is not there, don’t prolong the inevitable. Staying in the relationship is a disservice to both parties. It’s time to move on.

“The best way a mentor can prepare another leader is to expose him or her to other great people.” – John C. Maxwell

2. You’re no longer doing what’s required

Every so often one or the other party fails to show up or completely abandons the relationship. When a mentor is assigned or imposed, mentees fail to take it seriously and often leave or do the required minimum with no desire to continue. Phase things out gradually and don’t burn the boats by abandoning the relationship. You may need them in the future to take you to dry land.

3. You have unproductive meetings

A series of unproductive meetings may be a signal that a mentoring relationship has run its course. You shouldn’t be afraid to explicitly dial down the frequency of meetings or stop them entirely. End the relationship by simply letting them know that you have grown through the experience, provide specific examples and you will be in contact with them if a specific issue arises in the future.

4. Too many cancellations or reschedules

Too many cancellations or reschedules should ring alarms bells. As a good beginning is important, so is a good ending. Be prepared to end those relationships that are unproductive and lack commitment. Invest in the ones that will take you to the next level.

Be as truthful as why the relationship is ending and tie up loose ends. No need for anyone or any details to be left hanging. Honor the relationship for the growth opportunity and remain respectful beyond the conversation. You never know when paths will cross.

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” – Bob Proctor

5. They keep giving you the same advice over and over again

Most mentor relationships begin with the purest of intentions. Mentors provide guidance based on their experience and sage advice. The mentee role is critical in listening to the content that is being provided and how this advice is crafted to suit a situation. The literal application rarely works as the parameters in its application would be different.

It is necessary to craft individual solutions to challenges. If your mentor offers the same advice to you in multiple situations or insists that the way they proceeded was the only pathway to consider, then warning bells should start to ring.

6. Your mentor isn’t letting you fail

Mentors can provide sound advice, guidance and direction when needed to transcend limitations, finding solutions or trying to keep your head above water in a sinking ship. Even though the mentor can play the savior role, it’s not helpful or healthy.

If you invest too much time relying on the advice of others to solve problems, you run the risk of never failing and experiencing one of the most valuable ways to become a better professional human being. Learning experiences are not always positive yet lead to contemplation and new possibilities.

Always doing the right thing breeds complacency and stagnant thinking. The growth is in the learning and failure is just feedback.  The ones who truly succeed are not afraid of taking risks and expanding their unfamiliar zones.

7. Mentor is experiencing separation anxiety

As most parents experience their children leaving home, same principle applies to the mentee wanting to distance themselves from mentors. Mentors who are not ready for the separation can feel abandoned, angry or resentful and even impede the mentee’s opportunities for progression stalled.

When breaking up the relationship, delicate and respectful handling is required. Do not attempt to give feedback while emotions are running high. Invest in maintaining a good rapport within the professional network around the mentor.

What is your experience with breaking up with your mentor? Comment below!

Angela Kambouris used to work with high risk kids in the streets of Melbourne, now she has her own consultancy business and writes for large publications. As a leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma, she has built a high-level career as an executive and transitioned into a business owner. She has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. Love to travel, experience difference cultures and mastermind with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world. Connect with her through her website http://angelakambouris.com/ or through her Facebook.

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How Your Friends Determine Whether You Succeed or Not

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Can anyone do without having friends? We all have our friends, we share ideas with them, talk together, have fun, and fight. Yes, that’s the baseline of friendship. But, do you know that aside from you, your friends can determine whether you achieve success or not?

There are two things in friendship which are the ability to ”love” and the ability to “influence”. This means you are loved and you are influenced. How do your friends affect your success in life? How are they one of the biggest deciding factors of your success? Let’s find out.

What type of friends do you keep? 

First, what type of friends do you keep? Who do you call your best friend? There are two different kinds of friends, good friends, and bad ones. A lot of people have lost their pathway to success and some have also found their road to success all because of the friends they keep, the people they mingle with. 

Who is your best friend? Answer carefully. Having a best friend means you find each other compatible and understanding. Analyze who your best friend is. If your best friend has not motivated you to do something positive, if who you call your bestie has never given you positive advice, lastly if your best friend has never informed and advised you on your shortcomings, then you don’t have a best friend.

This quote tells us “birds of the same feather flock together”. Countless people have changed from their good nature into a bad one all because of friends. One thing to note is, “negative people move with negative aura”. If your best friend is filled with negativity inside-out then you will surely be affected by his/her negative aura.

They influence your success with positivity or negativity 

The friends you keep can either influence you with positivity or negativity because your friends have the power to change your kind of person completely. 

This is how your friends influence you:

  1. They influence you indirectly with what they do
  2. They influence you directly by teaching and giving you advice 

Yes, that is how they influence you. For instance, you watch a movie and you like the way the actor walks. The question is if you truly like the way the actor walks, won’t you try to imitate the actor? Of course, you will.

Just the way you imitate the actor is the same way your friends can influence you with their character. However, the funny part is, they don’t have to teach you to do things like them. You just find yourself imitating and copying them gradually.

An important question to ask is, are you imitating a good friend or a bad one? If you imitate a good friend then you will be good, but if you imitate a bad person, you will surely become a bad person.

Everyone wants to succeed, a good friend will always teach, enlighten, and motivate you for success. A bad friend will only motivate you to do evil things (smoking, drinking, fight, envy,).

And you should know that things like that are a great enemy of success and even of God. So, if you have these bad elements in your life, how will you achieve success? There is no way!

And also, they can teach and advise you directly. But, what do your friends teach you? When you ask them for advice do they inspire you positively or teach you the bad stuff.? A lot of people have regretted lifelong decisions just by listening to the advice of friends. 

The company you keep has the power to influence and change you. Never forget that a positive influence will teach, motivate, and brush you up for success. While a negative influence will inspire you to become a bad person, change your good nature, and leave you with regrets in the end.

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The 3 Step Process to Building a Profitable Pitch

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As a communication coach, one of the top questions entrepreneurs ask me is how to deliver a winning pitch to potential investors. They want to know if there’s a magic formula to get an investor to say yes and buy into their dream and their business. (more…)

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The 4 Pillars of Wealth and Abundance

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Have you ever wondered what the formula for a wealthy and abundant life is? Many people have. Lots has been written about the subject of wealth creation and living an abundant life. It was a breaking point in my journey and pursuit of success when I found out that there is a clear path to achieve success in life. Thanks to those who have shared their journey, we can clearly see and follow the principles of prosperity. (more…)

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Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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