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5 Ways To Have Amazing Relationships Whilst Chasing Your Dreams

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entrepreneur relationship couples chasing dreams

It would be great to be motivated, achieve lots of business success and become financially free but what if you had nobody to share it with? Truly caring and understanding your loved ones on a daily basis is an invaluable skill. As you become more successful you will appreciate the time and effort you put in to your relationships.

Relationships are like any other aspect in life; if it is not going forwards the chances are it is going backwards. It is imperative that you become aware of the relationships in your life that you are neglecting.

Here are 5 Creative ways that you can have amazing relationships whilst you are chasing your dreams.

 

 

Relationship Advice For Entrepreneurs

 

1. Don’t just hear…..Listen!

Your ears are never closed, so you will always be able to hear what is being said but listening and paying attention with the goal of understanding what the other person is saying is a totally different skill. Actually listening involves maintaining eye contact, watching their body to see if they are becoming more uptight or more relaxed as they deliver their message.

Listening involves repeating information back to the person to make sure you have ‘got the message’. When you are listening properly you will not get immediately defensive if it is something that you interpret as a potential ‘criticism’.

 

2. They Can’t Argue On Their Own

The dictionary definition of an argument is ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one’. The key word for me here is exchange. The word exchange means that two people have to be involved. If you remove yourself from the exchange of opposite views then it can’t be an argument anymore. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your spouse or a work colleague; you can take control and turn the argument into a discussion where you can see the situation through their eyes and turn the argument into a discussion with an actual resolution at the end of it, rather than two angry people going nowhere.

 

3. Breathe, Think, Pause….. And Respond

I know that the above approach sounds great in theory but what action can you take to make it a reality. Whenever I can feel myself on the verge of what could potentially be an argument with someone I love or a peer I think to myself “come on; B.P.T.R”. B.P.T.R stands for Breathe, Pause, Think, and Respond. If you were totally honest with yourself; if you utilized this technique in the last ‘argument’ you had it wouldn’t have happened. Most arguments escalate to the next level because you react and say something that ten minutes later you wish that you hadn’t said. True or true? Do this yourself and you’ll notice huge improvements with all of your interactions with other people and most importantly, those you love.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone in your life says something that could create ‘that feeling’ where you just want to ‘bite back’…BREATHE – take the oxygen in that will allow you think clearly. PAUSE – allow your conscious mind to take control. THINK – let the most useful resourceful, ‘solution-focused’ response come to you and only then should you RESPOND.

 

4. Daily Love

When it comes to our intimate relationships, we often forget the ‘little things’ that make a big difference. There are genuinely so many things that you can do EVERY DAY that have little or zero financial cost that really can make your partner feel that extra bit more loved. Introduce daily passion into the mix as well and long-term success is inevitable.

Personally, I like to write what I call a ‘little love note’ every single day, with a message of love, appreciation and gratitude. It is also crucial to make sure you make a ‘big deal’ out of the first time that you see your partner at the end of the day. Take your head out of the TV, your phone or your computer and jump up and give them a big passionate kiss. This may sound like an amazingly simple idea and I truly believe that it will make all of the difference for you.

 

5. You Need Relationship Goals

You have a goal for your body, you have a goal for your finances, you seem to have goal for every area of your life apart from what could arguably be the most important.  Think about it; for something to make progress and improve it has to be moving towards a worthy goal.

In a relationship it is very easy to get ‘comfortable’, however, this is dangerous state to be in and what was once a beautiful relationship can begin to slide backwards. As with any part of our lives the easiest way to combat this is to set a goal. You could set a goal to take your partner on a weekend away or to buy them flowers once a month or take them for a meal once a week. What you do isn’t as important as committing to actually doing something.

 

Are you an Entrepreneur with Relationship advice? Please share your experiences below.

Jermaine Harris is a Coach, Trader, Author and Speaker. He is passionate about human potential and empowering others to change their lives in the same way he did. Jermaine believes that the opposite of being 'stuck in a rut' is possible and explains how in his book, The Rut Buster. Get to know Jermaine better at: jermaine-harris.com

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Gun

    Feb 16, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Does anyone have any books or recommended articles/ reading on relationships and following your dreams?
    My partner and I are not sure if our dreams align. We both love being in a relationship together but we are both also ambitious people, and are scared our relationship is holding either of us back from chasing that dream and being our own person, not just a ‘couple’ if you know what I mean?
    It would seem we would have the perfect answer if we could both be ourselves, chase our own dreams and be together and supportive of each other too, which is why I am looking for that answer as it would definitely be worth pursuing…

  2. Ruth Martinez

    Feb 2, 2015 at 2:40 am

    Very rarely do you see articles regarding love and relationships, especially for entrepreneurs. It’s too easy to neglect and forget that part of ourselves and the people we choose to share this with. Thank you!

  3. Jorge

    Feb 1, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    Great article, a key message is having relationship goals. With these goals comes the ability to communicate. It’s important in any relationship to learn to communicate in the other persons language. Meaning that we understand and explain our thoughts. There should be no assuming of the other persons thinking. Better to ask than to guess.

  4. Kyle B

    Feb 24, 2014 at 5:25 am

    Great article! These points really gave me an opportunity to reflect on my current relationships and how I might need to adjust some of my current goals. Thanks again!

  5. Everyday Power

    Feb 20, 2014 at 10:02 am

    I loved this!

  6. Nikola Gjakovski

    Feb 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Really nice article.I recently crossed Mark Twain’s quote : Anger is an acid can do more harm to the vessels in which is stored than to anything on which it is poured”. It completely fits with number three and two

  7. Naomi@businessstartups

    Feb 11, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Hi Jermaine,

    I agree with Maxwell that this is a much neglected topic and a good reminder to entrepreneurs who are reading this to not forget their loved ones.

    I admit, I’m guilty of being neglectful not just in partnerships but with family and friends too. When in reality they are part of the reason I have the motivation to keep pushing forwards in my life and business.

    Who’s life is fuller? The lonely rich man or poor man surrounded by family who love him?

    I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer – just personnel preference for what’s important.

    Great read

    Naomi

  8. Abdul Rauf

    Feb 11, 2014 at 10:41 am

    In any kinda relationship, daily dose of love is a must. If you dont show your love with your partner, sooner or later, your relationship will be boring and drab. So I highly recommend to focus on #4 way to have amazing relation. Thanks for your words, Jermaine. Love it!

  9. vlb6x6

    Feb 11, 2014 at 4:02 am

    TIME! My partner and I own and run a small indie movie company together, so we’re together a LOT…..but, every week we set aside about four hours, maybe six, to just be a couple. We cuddle, daydream, chat, etc….but mostly we just “be” together. We stick to the schedule as religiously as we do our workouts, everything else gets planned around our day. Its delightful, and what’s interesting is that by taking that time away from actively doing, we’re seeing our company grow in so many ways.

  10. maxwell ivey

    Feb 10, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    hi; this is an often neglected topic so thanks for the suggestions. although i have trouble following my own advice when it comes to my immediate family but then i think this would be different if i didn’t live with them. thanks again, max

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Success Advice

Why The 5-Second Rule Made Me Unstoppable And How It Will Do The Same For You.

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5-Second Rule

What a massive few weeks. I discovered this life hack called “The 5-Second Rule.”

What a rollercoaster of a ride!

 

A simple definition of the 5 Second Rule:

5-Second RuleTo push yourself out of your head and into action by counting down 5-4-3-2-1 and then taking immediate action towards a goal, or instinct to take action towards something you think of.

It’s a rule that forces you to make a 5 Second Decision. 5-Second Decisions do not allow your brain to be involved and it all comes from your heart combined with your instinct. If you wait longer than 5-seconds, you’ll talk yourself out of making the decision.

The 5-Second Rule is a bias towards action instead of overthinking and been taken over by fear. In that 5 seconds, you get the opportunity to be courageous. It’s a small window of courage that you can access for free. After 5 seconds, your days are numbered and your brain will sabotage you.

“Hesitation is the kiss of death”

 

The crazy thing about the 5-Second Rule!

I was using the 5 Second Rule already without knowing it. I was using the 5 Second Rule because I was petrified of forgetting something important so I always forced myself to take action towards something that mattered to me straight away.

You’re probably the same. You’re probably using some of the 5 Second philosophy already. By the end of this blog post, you’re going to be using the 5-Second Rule consciously to live your dream life.

Here’s what happened when I tried the 5-Second Rule:

 

A) Changed my career.

That’s right; I knew it was time to changed my career. It had been building and finally, I knew it was time to make a change. Two opportunities were presented to me and they both felt right. They encompassed my passions although I was underprepared, unqualified and fearful of whether I would succeed.

When asked to make a decision, I used the 5 Second Rule and trusted my instincts. I said yes to both opportunities and I’m so glad I did. I’ve never felt so electric and it was all because I came from a place of courage. I told myself “You got this!”

“You get one life and it’s not going to begin again”

 

B) Became a professional in public speaking.

I was asked to join a public speaking competition at my local Toastmasters club. I always said no and regretted it because I knew I could use it as another platform to inspire people. This year, when the offer came up, I used the 5-Second Rule and said in my head “5-4-3-2-1, I’m in, sign me up!”

I went with my heart rather than letting my brain tell me how horrible I was at public speaking and how I’d never win.

The crazy thing is I won the competition. I beat people who were doing public speaking on the world stage and took the spotlight from them. All in a split second, 5-Second Decision.

“Confidence is built through one 5-second move at a time”

 

C) Joined the gym.

I used the 5-Second Rule to finally, after five years, make the decision to sign up again. It was after midnight and the gym was closed.

To make sure I took action, I left multiple inquiries on a few gym websites so that I was guaranteed not to forget what I had committed to.

The next day, I took my lazy ass to the gym, and I signed up. I’ve never felt better and my energy levels have started to pick up again.

 

D) Went to a country where I couldn’t speak the language all by myself.

This was a big deal for me because I’ve always traveled with other people and to places where I could speak the language. All of a sudden, I was going to be alone in a foreign country and unable to communicate in English.

Then one Friday, I was forced by work to take two weeks off. I used the 5-Second Rule to book a trip to Japan. It’s the best thing I’ve done this year. I learned so much and it got me right out of my comfort zone.

I’m sure there are some travel plans you’ve put off too. Next time you get the urge to travel somewhere like I did, at that moment, use the 5-Second Rule to take action and push through all the BS reasons why you think you can’t do it.

 


E) Met my girlfriend’s parents.

My girlfriend’s parents live overseas and they were in town for a few weeks. To me, meeting the parents is a big deal. I felt a bit nervous and when she asked me if I would have dinner with them, I felt the fear, counted down from 5, and said yes.

I’m so glad I did. The parents were great and I stopped myself from procrastinating.

Romantic relationships are the best when you go deep and do what you know is right. The 5-Second Rule will ensure you don’t back down.

 

F) Stopped the junk food temptation.

While I eat healthy most of the time, recently, I found myself letting my guard down and eating unhealthy food every now and then. It was upsetting me because I’ve been so disciplined for more than five years.

With a new commitment to going to the gym, I decided to eat food that would fuel my new exercise routine. Every time I looked at a packet of chips, I’d count down from 5 and then eat something that was good for me. I still eat junk food every now and then, but I have it under control again.

The decisions you make about eating are made in a split second. Use the 5-Second Rule to stop yourself from temptation. You’ll feel better in the long run and have more energy when you make the right choices.

 

G) Blogging when I don’t want to.

You may find it hard to believe but there are plenty of times when I don’t feel like blogging. I’ve found it challenging to overcome. That is until I discovered the 5-Second Rule. Now, when I feel lazy and don’t want to write, I count down from 5 and then start writing anyway.

I disconnect myself from the outcome and make sure I keep up the habit of blogging.

Whatever your passion is, it’s the same. There are regular times when you can’t be bothered and these moments are when you have to push through and use the 5-Second Rule the most. You’ll never achieve greatness unless you do what is sometimes not what you feel like doing.

 

Last Hack: Burn The Boats.

Made famous by Tony Robbins, the Burn the Boats Hack will give you leverage and destroy your Plan B. The story is simple. There was this army trying to take an island and they kept failing.

The leader in charge told them to go to the island and burn the boats behind them. This way, the only opportunity to survive was to take control of the island because they now couldn’t retreat back to their boats and sail home. Failing was not an option. There was no Plan B.

By combining the 5-Second Rule with the Burn the Boats Hack, you’ll not only force yourself to make decisions and stop things like fear, procrastination and overthinking takeover – you’ll also burn your Plan B and create leverage.

Leverage keeps you accountable to these 5-Second Decisions and stops you from backing out. When there’s no way out, you’ll find a way to get through the darkness and shine brightly at the end of the tunnel that is your goal.

 

***Final thought***

If I can achieve all of those goals in the mater of a few weeks, imagine what you can do. This 5- Second Rule will change your life. It’s the one life hack I’ve learned that has given so much success in such a little time. It only takes seconds to learn and seconds to implement.

These are the tools I love: Tools that are dead simple and can be used right away. No study is required, no mentors are needed, no books need to be read. It all starts with you.

Now you have the one tool, the one hack, to change your life.

Go use it right now! Tell me how you go.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

7 Ways to Achieve Success by Starting Where You Are & With What You Have

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Let’s face it, most of us love over-complicating things and often shun simple information because it’s basic. We really don’t know how to KISS (Keep It Simple, Silly!). We are drawn to things that boggle our minds and consider straight forward information boring or too simplistic for our liking. Don’t believe me? How many times have you written off someone’s advice or their solution to a problem because you considered it’s simplistic nature suspect?

Have you ever felt cheated out of money you spent on a self-help book because you felt there had to be ‘more to the story’ after reading it? Our need to over-complicate things is often what keeps us stuck in life, delays some of our progress in life and hinders us from pursuing our goals and dreams. We often imagine that everything has to be perfect or make absolute sense to us in order for us to even consider investing ourselves into whatever it is we desire to do.

People who make things happen don’t believe in perfection when it comes to pursuing their goals and dreams, because they are aware that our life’s circumstances will never be entirely perfect or favorable for us to pursue some of our endeavors. Therefore, they don’t allow external factors to dissuade them from pursuing their goals and dreams because they know that reasons will always present themselves to excuse our inability to make things happen at some juncture in our lives.

If you want to accomplish anything in your life, you have to be willing to start where you are and with what you have. The journey of a thousand miles definitely begins with one step. Allow yourself to take the first step and build upon it.

Utilize whatever resources you currently have available to jump-start and move your life and pursuits in the direction you want them to go with the belief that everything you need will materialize in one way or another as long as you keep taking action and remain committed to your endeavors and the process.

Below are tips, advice and insights you can follow and ponder that will help you get started where you are and with what you have on your journey towards success:

1. Don’t wait anymore

Don’t wait to have money to make money, to fully master what you want to do before doing it, or for circumstances and external factors in your life to perfectly align in order for you to act on your pursuits because in some instances, they never do.

Step out in faith and be willing to take a risk on your dreams. You will discover that the universe will open up doors for you and present you with opportunities you otherwise would have never received had you allowed your perceived limitations to immobilize you.

2. Focus on the things you can control

Don’t become consumed by things and circumstances you can’t control or have absolutely no control over. Instead, use to your advantage those that you can, to move you in the direction of your dreams.

Most successful people would tell you a story or two of the great things they were able to achieve in life in spite of some of their humble beginning. Don’t be averse to starting where you are, using whatever you have, and doing whatever you can; the secret to getting ahead is getting started – you don’t have to have great beginnings to start, you have to start in order to eventually become great.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

3. Be willing to take the first step

Determine what action you can take today that will move you one step closer to your goal or dream and make its possibility appear that much more real to you. If your dream is to start your own business, simple acts such as choosing a business name, registering your business name, having someone design a business logo for you and so on, will be enough to inspire and motivate you to take further action which will help you achieve your desired outcome.

4. Find the resources that are available to you

Determine what free resources are currently available to you that you could use to jumpstart your goal or dream as you work on making circumstances more favorable for it.

If your dream is to purchase a home in the near future for instance; you might consider attending free homeownership workshops in your area to learn about the home buying process, meeting with a mortgage broker to determine what type of loan you could qualify for or possibly attending open houses of homes comparable to that which you would like to purchase, etc.

5. Let go of your need for perfection

Don’t let the need for perfection hinder you from stepping out into your destiny or doing the things that you need to do. Start where you are and with what you have and allow whatever little progress you make to create momentum and motivate you to keep going.

For instance, if your goal is to own a bakery someday; don’t limit yourself by believing that you have to wait until you own a brick & mortar store to get your product out there — consider selling your goods online, at a farmer’s market or to friends and loved ones, determine if you can supply to local bakeries, participate in events that allow you to showcase your products and so on.

“I understand that I’m not perfect. I made mistakes and I had a hand in everything that’s happened to me, good and bad.” – Dwyane Wade

6. Don’t overwhelm yourself with information overload

Don’t expect to know or learn everything all at once; stay open to learning as you go. As you step out in faith and take a chance on yourself and your pursuits, the information you need will become available to you through the people and situations you attract into your life. Trust in the process and find contentment with learning how to crawl first before you walk.

7. Don’t wait for the ‘right’ time; make the time right today

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you know you can do today or fool yourself into believing that a later time will be more favorable and opportune for your pursuits. If you start today, you will be one year into whatever it is you want to do by this time next year and closer to fulfilling or having fully achieved your goals. Don’t procrastinate; start today!

If you choose to employ the above simplistic approaches in your endeavors, you will soon discover that accomplishing whatever you want in life isn’t complicated or rocket-science in any sense.

In no way am I trying to minimize the fact that some pursuits will present more challenges than others or require more of and from us than some; what I am trying to relay across is the fact that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Whatever myriad of excuses or reasons we adamantly offer to support our inability to do one thing or another, are really just delay tactics to avoid doing what we know we need to do.

How will you set yourself up for success starting today? Let us know in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

Are You Communicating Effectively? The 4 Colors of Communication

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When it comes to business, sometimes people think you have to be sneaky, manipulative, or cunning but in reality it is much easier to get what you want if you are straightforward. When you are clear about your wants, needs, and expectations there is no way for you to be misunderstood, and less room for error.

Communication is key in any relationship whether it is with a client, employee, or friend since better communication will help build a bond and trust. However, just saying what you think does not create effective communication because you must think about what you are going to say first.

Just because you are communicating with someone, doesn’t mean you are effectively getting your point across. This article will help you learn the importance of communication and some techniques to practice which will build your communication skills.

1. Understand who you are talking to

Every person handles communication differently. There are however four main personality categories that people fall into. Using these categories, you can better understand who you are talking to, and how to effectively get your point across.

  • Red– Very blunt to the point, drivers, strong-willed. Can be seen as rude but they are very direct.
  • Yellow– Follows their heart, emotional, very caring. Will tend to think of others even if it ends up inconveniencing them.
  • Green– Very analytical, enjoys knowing a lot. May find it hard to speak without knowing all angles first.
  • Blue– Will speak their mind, loves to have fun. Speaks without thinking things all the way through.

People generally have a primary color, and a secondary color. My main color is red, but my secondary is blue. Each one of these people have different ways of communicating effectively. For example, I’m not going to go to someone who is yellow and speak to them like they are red. With someone who is more yellow, I approach with more subtlety because you can not communicate effectively with someone who is offended or angry.

I will not go to a red and be subtle, because they expect people to be blunt with them. When you know the person you are talking to, you can tailor how you talk so you communicate most effectively.

“Write To Be Understood, Speak To Be Heard, Read To Grow.” Lawrence Clark Powell

2. Think about what you say

Have you ever said something you didn’t really think about, and what you said ended up being totally different than what you said? What would have happened if you stopped and thought about what you said first? How much stress, and fuss could have been avoided if you took a second to make sure what you were going to say is what you meant? When you think about what you are saying, there are a few questions you want to ask yourself.

The first thing I ask myself before speaking is, is what I am saying honest? In business, our word is our bond. If you speak without making sure you are being honest, you can end up making promises you can’t keep, giving false expectations, and flat out lying to people. All of these diminish your value as a business owner.

The next question is does this convey what I am trying to say? This may seem like an obvious question but many misunderstandings could be avoided if we just asked ourselves this before speaking.

How many times have you said something then immediately realized how it must have sounded to others? Think about the words you use, and how you are saying it because once you say it you can’t unsay anything.

The last question I ask myself is will this enrich their life? Needlessly saying something does nothing for anyone, it doesn’t help others, it doesn’t help you, and you are just speaking for the sake of speaking. The more you speak to give value to others, not only do you help them, but you also help your image as well. Stop and think about what you are actually saying so you can ensure a clear message from you allowing for complete understanding.

“Good Communication Is As Stimulating As Black Coffee, And Just As Hard To Sleep After.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

3. Just say it

Previously, I told you to make sure you think before you speak, but there are going to be times in your life that you just need to come out and give your opinion. Making sure it is true and does help others is important, but go ahead and speak up if that’s the case.

Is one of your employees overstepping their bounds? Tell them, because you can’t expect things to get better if you don’t say what you mean. Every one of us has swallowed our voices before not allowing those around us to know what we feel. This helps no one. When you hold things in, it only does damage.

Find your voice, and make sure that when something is bothering you, you use your new communication skills to express what is happening, what your problem is, and leave a line of communication open so you can solve what is happening. When you own your own business you have to learn to be outspoken enough to get your point across, but also calm enough to understand the situation fully.

The last and most important thing I can tell you is don’t talk too much. When you are learning to communicate, don’t only listen to respond, but listen to fully understand.

How do you make sure people truly understand what you are saying to them? Let us know some tips in the comments below!

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Success Advice

“Influencers” Are Not Smarter Than You And I.

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Instagram Influencers Not Smarter

Standing at the top of the mountain and looking down at everyone like they’re stupid isn’t cool. That’s what this influencer nonsense has become.

Influencer meaning:

Someone who thinks they’re better than everyone else because of the number of social media followers they have. Someone who put’s their own selfish desires ahead of helping others. Someone who values numbers over real human relationships

 

Influencers have the same opportunity as you and I.

Don’t be fooled into thinking these so-called influencers are superhuman. They’re just normal people with a fancy job title. They weren’t born with a special Pokemon attack and they’re capable of the same great things you and I can also achieve.

We all can influence people for better or worse.
We all can focus our time on one specific goal and achieve it.
We can all sit in front of a computer all day and try desperately to get people to “like” what we say.

 

Influencers have the same big fear as you and me.

“Am I enough?”

That’s what every so-called influencer is thinking and that’s what you and I are thinking too. That makes both us, and them, human. We all have fears whether we show them to the world or not. None of us are truly fearless and we all want to become somebody.

 

Influencers at least believe they are somebody.

The one positive thing I can say about an influencer is they believe they are somebody whether they are or not. Believing you are something and can be great, is the first step towards success. At least these influencers have that part right. Believe in yourself no matter what. Put out positivity.

 

“Influencer” is a silly word that lacks meaning.

We all can be persons of influence. What makes somebody an influencer anyway? Is there some magic measurement of attention that makes you go from being a nobody to an influencer?Social media would have you think so. The answer is obviously no.

“Labels separate us. Labels try and force square pegs into round holes”

Meaning doesn’t come from how much influence you have; meaning comes from who you’ve become as a person.

Meaning comes from achieving your goals.
Meaning comes from adding value to the lives of others.
Meaning will never come from an online vanity metric.

 

Influencers who think they’re smarter than us are the problem.

The moment you become an influencer and think you’re smarter than everybody else is the moment your ego goes out of control. Intelligence is not measured by influence and it never will be. Creating a divide between people is what fuels wars and creates conflict.

Aim to bring people together. Focus on doing what you love rather than trying to force people to be “influenced.” Drop the attitude that leads you to think you’re smarter because all of us can be an influencer if we want to.

We can all game the social media newsfeed algorithms.
We can all sit on a phone all day and create click-bait content.
We can all pay people in third world countries to send fake followers to our fan page.

“Building followers online is easy for anybody who wants to invest the time. The building influence game has in many ways replaced the computer games we played in our youth, on consoles plugged into our TV, or on ancient desktops that no longer see the light of day with their ugly grey color.”

 

Influencer vanity metrics mean nothing.

“I got 1 million followers.”
And frankly, no one cares. What matters is the following:

The depth that people support you because you support them.
The opportunity to become a leader of people and create more leaders.

No one’s falling for this selfish prison that is being an influencer and having millions of followers. Give me ten deep human relationships over 10 million one second relationships any day of the week.

 

Lesson: Instead of wanting to be better than everyone else, start with helping people.

The vanity game that is trying to be better than everyone else is ridiculous.

“The true icons of our time try and find ways to help people. Helping people is their focus, not building up fake fans, to put out fake content, so you can put on a fake smile and walk to the bank skipping”

What you can do for others is how you build influence and that influence compounds when you help more people. Influencing people sounds a lot like trying to control people’s mind. Influencing makes humans sound like robots that follow set programs produced by social media algorithms.

Let’s become human again.
Let’s drop the status symbol that is influencer.
Let’s all become an influence on each other to do more good.
Let’s influence each other to be just a tiny bit better than yesterday.

It’s time to stop being a perfect little cookie cutter influencer and embrace our true identity: being human and living with passion.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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37 Joe Rogan Quotes That Will Motivate You to Greatness

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Joe Rogan is a stand-up comedian, a figure in the MMA space, and former host of Fear Factor.  But Rogan is more recognized his famous podcast The Joe Rogan Experience which is at the top of many iTunes charts.  Each week, Joe Rogan sits down with a public figure to have a raw conversation to discuss their story, passions, and life in general.  These people range from actors & scientists, to controversial figures in the news.  Rogan is well known for dropping knowledge bombs in his show and is respected & looked up to by people in a variety of spaces as a motivational & inspirational figure. (more…)

Joe Kleckner has a passion for all things motivation & self-development.  From blogs such as Addicted2Success, to the videos of Eric Thomas and Elliott Hulse, to the lectures of legends such as Tony Robbins.  This passion has landed him an internship with Addicted2Success. Follow him on Twitter & Snapchat as he journeys towards greatness, one day at a time.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Gun

    Feb 16, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Does anyone have any books or recommended articles/ reading on relationships and following your dreams?
    My partner and I are not sure if our dreams align. We both love being in a relationship together but we are both also ambitious people, and are scared our relationship is holding either of us back from chasing that dream and being our own person, not just a ‘couple’ if you know what I mean?
    It would seem we would have the perfect answer if we could both be ourselves, chase our own dreams and be together and supportive of each other too, which is why I am looking for that answer as it would definitely be worth pursuing…

  2. Ruth Martinez

    Feb 2, 2015 at 2:40 am

    Very rarely do you see articles regarding love and relationships, especially for entrepreneurs. It’s too easy to neglect and forget that part of ourselves and the people we choose to share this with. Thank you!

  3. Jorge

    Feb 1, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    Great article, a key message is having relationship goals. With these goals comes the ability to communicate. It’s important in any relationship to learn to communicate in the other persons language. Meaning that we understand and explain our thoughts. There should be no assuming of the other persons thinking. Better to ask than to guess.

  4. Kyle B

    Feb 24, 2014 at 5:25 am

    Great article! These points really gave me an opportunity to reflect on my current relationships and how I might need to adjust some of my current goals. Thanks again!

  5. Everyday Power

    Feb 20, 2014 at 10:02 am

    I loved this!

  6. Nikola Gjakovski

    Feb 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Really nice article.I recently crossed Mark Twain’s quote : Anger is an acid can do more harm to the vessels in which is stored than to anything on which it is poured”. It completely fits with number three and two

  7. Naomi@businessstartups

    Feb 11, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Hi Jermaine,

    I agree with Maxwell that this is a much neglected topic and a good reminder to entrepreneurs who are reading this to not forget their loved ones.

    I admit, I’m guilty of being neglectful not just in partnerships but with family and friends too. When in reality they are part of the reason I have the motivation to keep pushing forwards in my life and business.

    Who’s life is fuller? The lonely rich man or poor man surrounded by family who love him?

    I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer – just personnel preference for what’s important.

    Great read

    Naomi

  8. Abdul Rauf

    Feb 11, 2014 at 10:41 am

    In any kinda relationship, daily dose of love is a must. If you dont show your love with your partner, sooner or later, your relationship will be boring and drab. So I highly recommend to focus on #4 way to have amazing relation. Thanks for your words, Jermaine. Love it!

  9. vlb6x6

    Feb 11, 2014 at 4:02 am

    TIME! My partner and I own and run a small indie movie company together, so we’re together a LOT…..but, every week we set aside about four hours, maybe six, to just be a couple. We cuddle, daydream, chat, etc….but mostly we just “be” together. We stick to the schedule as religiously as we do our workouts, everything else gets planned around our day. Its delightful, and what’s interesting is that by taking that time away from actively doing, we’re seeing our company grow in so many ways.

  10. maxwell ivey

    Feb 10, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    hi; this is an often neglected topic so thanks for the suggestions. although i have trouble following my own advice when it comes to my immediate family but then i think this would be different if i didn’t live with them. thanks again, max

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Success Advice

Why The 5-Second Rule Made Me Unstoppable And How It Will Do The Same For You.

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5-Second Rule

What a massive few weeks. I discovered this life hack called “The 5-Second Rule.”

What a rollercoaster of a ride!

 

A simple definition of the 5 Second Rule:

5-Second RuleTo push yourself out of your head and into action by counting down 5-4-3-2-1 and then taking immediate action towards a goal, or instinct to take action towards something you think of.

It’s a rule that forces you to make a 5 Second Decision. 5-Second Decisions do not allow your brain to be involved and it all comes from your heart combined with your instinct. If you wait longer than 5-seconds, you’ll talk yourself out of making the decision.

The 5-Second Rule is a bias towards action instead of overthinking and been taken over by fear. In that 5 seconds, you get the opportunity to be courageous. It’s a small window of courage that you can access for free. After 5 seconds, your days are numbered and your brain will sabotage you.

“Hesitation is the kiss of death”

 

The crazy thing about the 5-Second Rule!

I was using the 5 Second Rule already without knowing it. I was using the 5 Second Rule because I was petrified of forgetting something important so I always forced myself to take action towards something that mattered to me straight away.

You’re probably the same. You’re probably using some of the 5 Second philosophy already. By the end of this blog post, you’re going to be using the 5-Second Rule consciously to live your dream life.

Here’s what happened when I tried the 5-Second Rule:

 

A) Changed my career.

That’s right; I knew it was time to changed my career. It had been building and finally, I knew it was time to make a change. Two opportunities were presented to me and they both felt right. They encompassed my passions although I was underprepared, unqualified and fearful of whether I would succeed.

When asked to make a decision, I used the 5 Second Rule and trusted my instincts. I said yes to both opportunities and I’m so glad I did. I’ve never felt so electric and it was all because I came from a place of courage. I told myself “You got this!”

“You get one life and it’s not going to begin again”

 

B) Became a professional in public speaking.

I was asked to join a public speaking competition at my local Toastmasters club. I always said no and regretted it because I knew I could use it as another platform to inspire people. This year, when the offer came up, I used the 5-Second Rule and said in my head “5-4-3-2-1, I’m in, sign me up!”

I went with my heart rather than letting my brain tell me how horrible I was at public speaking and how I’d never win.

The crazy thing is I won the competition. I beat people who were doing public speaking on the world stage and took the spotlight from them. All in a split second, 5-Second Decision.

“Confidence is built through one 5-second move at a time”

 

C) Joined the gym.

I used the 5-Second Rule to finally, after five years, make the decision to sign up again. It was after midnight and the gym was closed.

To make sure I took action, I left multiple inquiries on a few gym websites so that I was guaranteed not to forget what I had committed to.

The next day, I took my lazy ass to the gym, and I signed up. I’ve never felt better and my energy levels have started to pick up again.

 

D) Went to a country where I couldn’t speak the language all by myself.

This was a big deal for me because I’ve always traveled with other people and to places where I could speak the language. All of a sudden, I was going to be alone in a foreign country and unable to communicate in English.

Then one Friday, I was forced by work to take two weeks off. I used the 5-Second Rule to book a trip to Japan. It’s the best thing I’ve done this year. I learned so much and it got me right out of my comfort zone.

I’m sure there are some travel plans you’ve put off too. Next time you get the urge to travel somewhere like I did, at that moment, use the 5-Second Rule to take action and push through all the BS reasons why you think you can’t do it.

 


E) Met my girlfriend’s parents.

My girlfriend’s parents live overseas and they were in town for a few weeks. To me, meeting the parents is a big deal. I felt a bit nervous and when she asked me if I would have dinner with them, I felt the fear, counted down from 5, and said yes.

I’m so glad I did. The parents were great and I stopped myself from procrastinating.

Romantic relationships are the best when you go deep and do what you know is right. The 5-Second Rule will ensure you don’t back down.

 

F) Stopped the junk food temptation.

While I eat healthy most of the time, recently, I found myself letting my guard down and eating unhealthy food every now and then. It was upsetting me because I’ve been so disciplined for more than five years.

With a new commitment to going to the gym, I decided to eat food that would fuel my new exercise routine. Every time I looked at a packet of chips, I’d count down from 5 and then eat something that was good for me. I still eat junk food every now and then, but I have it under control again.

The decisions you make about eating are made in a split second. Use the 5-Second Rule to stop yourself from temptation. You’ll feel better in the long run and have more energy when you make the right choices.

 

G) Blogging when I don’t want to.

You may find it hard to believe but there are plenty of times when I don’t feel like blogging. I’ve found it challenging to overcome. That is until I discovered the 5-Second Rule. Now, when I feel lazy and don’t want to write, I count down from 5 and then start writing anyway.

I disconnect myself from the outcome and make sure I keep up the habit of blogging.

Whatever your passion is, it’s the same. There are regular times when you can’t be bothered and these moments are when you have to push through and use the 5-Second Rule the most. You’ll never achieve greatness unless you do what is sometimes not what you feel like doing.

 

Last Hack: Burn The Boats.

Made famous by Tony Robbins, the Burn the Boats Hack will give you leverage and destroy your Plan B. The story is simple. There was this army trying to take an island and they kept failing.

The leader in charge told them to go to the island and burn the boats behind them. This way, the only opportunity to survive was to take control of the island because they now couldn’t retreat back to their boats and sail home. Failing was not an option. There was no Plan B.

By combining the 5-Second Rule with the Burn the Boats Hack, you’ll not only force yourself to make decisions and stop things like fear, procrastination and overthinking takeover – you’ll also burn your Plan B and create leverage.

Leverage keeps you accountable to these 5-Second Decisions and stops you from backing out. When there’s no way out, you’ll find a way to get through the darkness and shine brightly at the end of the tunnel that is your goal.

 

***Final thought***

If I can achieve all of those goals in the mater of a few weeks, imagine what you can do. This 5- Second Rule will change your life. It’s the one life hack I’ve learned that has given so much success in such a little time. It only takes seconds to learn and seconds to implement.

These are the tools I love: Tools that are dead simple and can be used right away. No study is required, no mentors are needed, no books need to be read. It all starts with you.

Now you have the one tool, the one hack, to change your life.

Go use it right now! Tell me how you go.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

7 Ways to Achieve Success by Starting Where You Are & With What You Have

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how to achieve success

Let’s face it, most of us love over-complicating things and often shun simple information because it’s basic. We really don’t know how to KISS (Keep It Simple, Silly!). We are drawn to things that boggle our minds and consider straight forward information boring or too simplistic for our liking. Don’t believe me? How many times have you written off someone’s advice or their solution to a problem because you considered it’s simplistic nature suspect?

Have you ever felt cheated out of money you spent on a self-help book because you felt there had to be ‘more to the story’ after reading it? Our need to over-complicate things is often what keeps us stuck in life, delays some of our progress in life and hinders us from pursuing our goals and dreams. We often imagine that everything has to be perfect or make absolute sense to us in order for us to even consider investing ourselves into whatever it is we desire to do.

People who make things happen don’t believe in perfection when it comes to pursuing their goals and dreams, because they are aware that our life’s circumstances will never be entirely perfect or favorable for us to pursue some of our endeavors. Therefore, they don’t allow external factors to dissuade them from pursuing their goals and dreams because they know that reasons will always present themselves to excuse our inability to make things happen at some juncture in our lives.

If you want to accomplish anything in your life, you have to be willing to start where you are and with what you have. The journey of a thousand miles definitely begins with one step. Allow yourself to take the first step and build upon it.

Utilize whatever resources you currently have available to jump-start and move your life and pursuits in the direction you want them to go with the belief that everything you need will materialize in one way or another as long as you keep taking action and remain committed to your endeavors and the process.

Below are tips, advice and insights you can follow and ponder that will help you get started where you are and with what you have on your journey towards success:

1. Don’t wait anymore

Don’t wait to have money to make money, to fully master what you want to do before doing it, or for circumstances and external factors in your life to perfectly align in order for you to act on your pursuits because in some instances, they never do.

Step out in faith and be willing to take a risk on your dreams. You will discover that the universe will open up doors for you and present you with opportunities you otherwise would have never received had you allowed your perceived limitations to immobilize you.

2. Focus on the things you can control

Don’t become consumed by things and circumstances you can’t control or have absolutely no control over. Instead, use to your advantage those that you can, to move you in the direction of your dreams.

Most successful people would tell you a story or two of the great things they were able to achieve in life in spite of some of their humble beginning. Don’t be averse to starting where you are, using whatever you have, and doing whatever you can; the secret to getting ahead is getting started – you don’t have to have great beginnings to start, you have to start in order to eventually become great.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

3. Be willing to take the first step

Determine what action you can take today that will move you one step closer to your goal or dream and make its possibility appear that much more real to you. If your dream is to start your own business, simple acts such as choosing a business name, registering your business name, having someone design a business logo for you and so on, will be enough to inspire and motivate you to take further action which will help you achieve your desired outcome.

4. Find the resources that are available to you

Determine what free resources are currently available to you that you could use to jumpstart your goal or dream as you work on making circumstances more favorable for it.

If your dream is to purchase a home in the near future for instance; you might consider attending free homeownership workshops in your area to learn about the home buying process, meeting with a mortgage broker to determine what type of loan you could qualify for or possibly attending open houses of homes comparable to that which you would like to purchase, etc.

5. Let go of your need for perfection

Don’t let the need for perfection hinder you from stepping out into your destiny or doing the things that you need to do. Start where you are and with what you have and allow whatever little progress you make to create momentum and motivate you to keep going.

For instance, if your goal is to own a bakery someday; don’t limit yourself by believing that you have to wait until you own a brick & mortar store to get your product out there — consider selling your goods online, at a farmer’s market or to friends and loved ones, determine if you can supply to local bakeries, participate in events that allow you to showcase your products and so on.

“I understand that I’m not perfect. I made mistakes and I had a hand in everything that’s happened to me, good and bad.” – Dwyane Wade

6. Don’t overwhelm yourself with information overload

Don’t expect to know or learn everything all at once; stay open to learning as you go. As you step out in faith and take a chance on yourself and your pursuits, the information you need will become available to you through the people and situations you attract into your life. Trust in the process and find contentment with learning how to crawl first before you walk.

7. Don’t wait for the ‘right’ time; make the time right today

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you know you can do today or fool yourself into believing that a later time will be more favorable and opportune for your pursuits. If you start today, you will be one year into whatever it is you want to do by this time next year and closer to fulfilling or having fully achieved your goals. Don’t procrastinate; start today!

If you choose to employ the above simplistic approaches in your endeavors, you will soon discover that accomplishing whatever you want in life isn’t complicated or rocket-science in any sense.

In no way am I trying to minimize the fact that some pursuits will present more challenges than others or require more of and from us than some; what I am trying to relay across is the fact that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Whatever myriad of excuses or reasons we adamantly offer to support our inability to do one thing or another, are really just delay tactics to avoid doing what we know we need to do.

How will you set yourself up for success starting today? Let us know in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

Are You Communicating Effectively? The 4 Colors of Communication

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communication

When it comes to business, sometimes people think you have to be sneaky, manipulative, or cunning but in reality it is much easier to get what you want if you are straightforward. When you are clear about your wants, needs, and expectations there is no way for you to be misunderstood, and less room for error.

Communication is key in any relationship whether it is with a client, employee, or friend since better communication will help build a bond and trust. However, just saying what you think does not create effective communication because you must think about what you are going to say first.

Just because you are communicating with someone, doesn’t mean you are effectively getting your point across. This article will help you learn the importance of communication and some techniques to practice which will build your communication skills.

1. Understand who you are talking to

Every person handles communication differently. There are however four main personality categories that people fall into. Using these categories, you can better understand who you are talking to, and how to effectively get your point across.

  • Red– Very blunt to the point, drivers, strong-willed. Can be seen as rude but they are very direct.
  • Yellow– Follows their heart, emotional, very caring. Will tend to think of others even if it ends up inconveniencing them.
  • Green– Very analytical, enjoys knowing a lot. May find it hard to speak without knowing all angles first.
  • Blue– Will speak their mind, loves to have fun. Speaks without thinking things all the way through.

People generally have a primary color, and a secondary color. My main color is red, but my secondary is blue. Each one of these people have different ways of communicating effectively. For example, I’m not going to go to someone who is yellow and speak to them like they are red. With someone who is more yellow, I approach with more subtlety because you can not communicate effectively with someone who is offended or angry.

I will not go to a red and be subtle, because they expect people to be blunt with them. When you know the person you are talking to, you can tailor how you talk so you communicate most effectively.

“Write To Be Understood, Speak To Be Heard, Read To Grow.” Lawrence Clark Powell

2. Think about what you say

Have you ever said something you didn’t really think about, and what you said ended up being totally different than what you said? What would have happened if you stopped and thought about what you said first? How much stress, and fuss could have been avoided if you took a second to make sure what you were going to say is what you meant? When you think about what you are saying, there are a few questions you want to ask yourself.

The first thing I ask myself before speaking is, is what I am saying honest? In business, our word is our bond. If you speak without making sure you are being honest, you can end up making promises you can’t keep, giving false expectations, and flat out lying to people. All of these diminish your value as a business owner.

The next question is does this convey what I am trying to say? This may seem like an obvious question but many misunderstandings could be avoided if we just asked ourselves this before speaking.

How many times have you said something then immediately realized how it must have sounded to others? Think about the words you use, and how you are saying it because once you say it you can’t unsay anything.

The last question I ask myself is will this enrich their life? Needlessly saying something does nothing for anyone, it doesn’t help others, it doesn’t help you, and you are just speaking for the sake of speaking. The more you speak to give value to others, not only do you help them, but you also help your image as well. Stop and think about what you are actually saying so you can ensure a clear message from you allowing for complete understanding.

“Good Communication Is As Stimulating As Black Coffee, And Just As Hard To Sleep After.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

3. Just say it

Previously, I told you to make sure you think before you speak, but there are going to be times in your life that you just need to come out and give your opinion. Making sure it is true and does help others is important, but go ahead and speak up if that’s the case.

Is one of your employees overstepping their bounds? Tell them, because you can’t expect things to get better if you don’t say what you mean. Every one of us has swallowed our voices before not allowing those around us to know what we feel. This helps no one. When you hold things in, it only does damage.

Find your voice, and make sure that when something is bothering you, you use your new communication skills to express what is happening, what your problem is, and leave a line of communication open so you can solve what is happening. When you own your own business you have to learn to be outspoken enough to get your point across, but also calm enough to understand the situation fully.

The last and most important thing I can tell you is don’t talk too much. When you are learning to communicate, don’t only listen to respond, but listen to fully understand.

How do you make sure people truly understand what you are saying to them? Let us know some tips in the comments below!

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Success Advice

“Influencers” Are Not Smarter Than You And I.

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Instagram Influencers Not Smarter

Standing at the top of the mountain and looking down at everyone like they’re stupid isn’t cool. That’s what this influencer nonsense has become.

Influencer meaning:

Someone who thinks they’re better than everyone else because of the number of social media followers they have. Someone who put’s their own selfish desires ahead of helping others. Someone who values numbers over real human relationships

 

Influencers have the same opportunity as you and I.

Don’t be fooled into thinking these so-called influencers are superhuman. They’re just normal people with a fancy job title. They weren’t born with a special Pokemon attack and they’re capable of the same great things you and I can also achieve.

We all can influence people for better or worse.
We all can focus our time on one specific goal and achieve it.
We can all sit in front of a computer all day and try desperately to get people to “like” what we say.

 

Influencers have the same big fear as you and me.

“Am I enough?”

That’s what every so-called influencer is thinking and that’s what you and I are thinking too. That makes both us, and them, human. We all have fears whether we show them to the world or not. None of us are truly fearless and we all want to become somebody.

 

Influencers at least believe they are somebody.

The one positive thing I can say about an influencer is they believe they are somebody whether they are or not. Believing you are something and can be great, is the first step towards success. At least these influencers have that part right. Believe in yourself no matter what. Put out positivity.

 

“Influencer” is a silly word that lacks meaning.

We all can be persons of influence. What makes somebody an influencer anyway? Is there some magic measurement of attention that makes you go from being a nobody to an influencer?Social media would have you think so. The answer is obviously no.

“Labels separate us. Labels try and force square pegs into round holes”

Meaning doesn’t come from how much influence you have; meaning comes from who you’ve become as a person.

Meaning comes from achieving your goals.
Meaning comes from adding value to the lives of others.
Meaning will never come from an online vanity metric.

 

Influencers who think they’re smarter than us are the problem.

The moment you become an influencer and think you’re smarter than everybody else is the moment your ego goes out of control. Intelligence is not measured by influence and it never will be. Creating a divide between people is what fuels wars and creates conflict.

Aim to bring people together. Focus on doing what you love rather than trying to force people to be “influenced.” Drop the attitude that leads you to think you’re smarter because all of us can be an influencer if we want to.

We can all game the social media newsfeed algorithms.
We can all sit on a phone all day and create click-bait content.
We can all pay people in third world countries to send fake followers to our fan page.

“Building followers online is easy for anybody who wants to invest the time. The building influence game has in many ways replaced the computer games we played in our youth, on consoles plugged into our TV, or on ancient desktops that no longer see the light of day with their ugly grey color.”

 

Influencer vanity metrics mean nothing.

“I got 1 million followers.”
And frankly, no one cares. What matters is the following:

The depth that people support you because you support them.
The opportunity to become a leader of people and create more leaders.

No one’s falling for this selfish prison that is being an influencer and having millions of followers. Give me ten deep human relationships over 10 million one second relationships any day of the week.

 

Lesson: Instead of wanting to be better than everyone else, start with helping people.

The vanity game that is trying to be better than everyone else is ridiculous.

“The true icons of our time try and find ways to help people. Helping people is their focus, not building up fake fans, to put out fake content, so you can put on a fake smile and walk to the bank skipping”

What you can do for others is how you build influence and that influence compounds when you help more people. Influencing people sounds a lot like trying to control people’s mind. Influencing makes humans sound like robots that follow set programs produced by social media algorithms.

Let’s become human again.
Let’s drop the status symbol that is influencer.
Let’s all become an influence on each other to do more good.
Let’s influence each other to be just a tiny bit better than yesterday.

It’s time to stop being a perfect little cookie cutter influencer and embrace our true identity: being human and living with passion.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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