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Success Advice

4 Things You Should Do if Your Drive for Success is Taking a Toll on Your Mental Health



how to handle mental illness
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There is no cookie-cutter formula for success. Success can look different depending on who you talk to. Some people pursue wealth while others chase after accolades. Then there are those who define success by the quality of their relationships with family and friends. In addition, others focus on their health and physique as a measure of success or self-worth. 

Often a person’s pursuit of success will depend on factors including what they feel they need to be okay with being who they are, or to get the love and approval they desire, or to meet expectations they believe they should achieve.

Whatever your definition of success, it can be helpful to know what motivates your pursuit for “more”— especially when a drive for success may be taking a toll on your mental health and ruining your quality of life. 

Below you’ll find four recommendations for how to regain a healthier perspective in your quest for success:

1. Be mindful of your daily stress levels and how you’re feeling

There is no point in reaching a goal of success if you wear yourself down day after day in the process. As is often said, happiness is a journey, not a destination. If your pursuit of success has become so stressful that it only feels like drudgery, it may be time to take some self-care measures. 

Poorly managed chronic stress can be as bad for your mental health as post-traumatic stress by negatively affecting your mind, thinking, body, behaviors, and relationships.

Chronic stress also impairs cognitive abilities and is associated with greater impulsiveness. That’s because we humans have a very sophisticated, built-in alarm system of sorts. This highly evolved stress response is designed to warn us of potential danger. 

In the face of a perceived threat, our body releases endorphins like adrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals prepare the body for “fight or flight”— a survival mechanism that can be incredibly handy when you’re staring down a lion on the African savannah. When you’ve got a big presentation tomorrow that you’ve had zero time to prepare for? Less so.

When your body gets accustomed to living in a near-constant state of fight or flight, your sleep is one of the first things to go. You’re then more likely to turn to pills, alcohol, or food to feel better. You also feel tired all the time and more inclined to be short with others or retreat altogether. Consequently, your relationships suffer.

Sleep, health and relationships are helpful barometers of stress levels, among other things. Pay attention to how you’re doing in these areas. Often, just a tweak here or there—to sleep and/or other lifestyle habits—can be a game changer for stress management.

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee

2. Strive for balance in all areas of your life, even if that balance seems elusive at times

If you’re regularly hitting home runs in one area of your life (such as in your profession) but keep striking out in every other domain (your relationships, health, etc.), you’d be better served exploring ways to juggle all of the aspects of your life. Don’t just be focused on one area of living.

The ideal is to strike a healthy balance between the physical, emotional, spiritual, career, and relationship spheres of life.

When we over-focus on one area, the other areas can suffer. A case in point: the workaholic who works all the time and soon finds they have nothing else; their health suffers, they are lonely, they don’t take time for their emotional and spiritual self and only keep draining the well until there is little left. This is called “burnout.” When you’re suffering from burnout, you are like a car without gas in the tank, you grind to a halt unexpectedly.

3. Seek greater flexibility, by cultivating an attitude of acceptance

People with a higher quality of life often report they have flexibility. They adjust to situations rather than ask situations to adjust to them. They do not demand their way, ask others to be the way they “should” be (but aren’t now) or set unreasonable expectations regarding outcomes.

We are all just human beings interacting in a vast and complicated world, so there is freedom in accepting the reality that we cannot simply “will” ourselves into success. If you can learn to accept and not fight life on its terms, but to adjust and respond in a healthy way, you’ll find that you’ll be better at dealing with the setbacks and issues you face each day.

Often a regular practice of mindfulness can be helpful at inculcating greater acceptance of oneself and the world around us. With that acceptance comes greater flexibility.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” – Albert Einstein

4. If fear is motivating your pursuit of success, work on letting it go

If fear were a person, it would only be selfish and self-interested. Fear assumes there are scarce resources and that you have to get yours or else be left out. When fear is operative, you constantly look for the next bad thing to happen; and your thinking, planning and coping skills are compromised because of your fear response.

Fear is not a motivator, it is a de-motivator. It is a hamster wheel that constantly keeps going, making us run for our lives without a break. There is always something else for us to be afraid of.

You would never knowingly instill fear in a child and tell them that is the ticket to success.  Instead, you would try to comfort, inspire, problem-solve and give them a feeling of self-worth and confidence. The same interventions work well for most of us grown-ups. If your success is driven by fears of failure or of not being good enough or of letting others down, it may be time to do some soul searching.

Maybe consider consulting a life coach or seeing a therapist. Not even the greatest fantasy of “having arrived” is worth achieving if that process is driven by what you’re afraid of.

Does your mental health ever take a toll because of your drive towards success? Share your thoughts and beliefs with us below! We’d love to know.

Dr. Beau Nelson heads the Clinical Services department at FHE Health, a nationally recognized behavioral health provider treating addiction and mental health conditions.  Learn more about FHE Health’s treatment programs here.

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Success Advice

How Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success

Your life is dictated by beliefs and biases that drive your thinking, behaviors, and decisions



Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success (1)
Image Credit: Midjourney

Pause for a moment and ponder two pandemic-era beliefs: First, closing schools will control the spread of a serious virus. Second, the consequences of such school closures—particularly social interruption and the prevention of immunity—are worse than becoming sick with the virus. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity



Image Credit: Midjourney

In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be. 

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time. 

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.

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Success Advice

Here’s a Young Man’s Antidote for the Uncertainty of the Modern World

Why do a lot of young guys lack confidence in today’s world? 



How to boost your confidence
Image Credit: Midjourney

We all have been told that confidence is a key factor in achieving success and happiness in life. But what is it exactly? (more…)

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Success Advice

Toxic Leadership: 5 Ways to Identify a Bad Leader

if you have a leader who displays any of the toxic traits, it’s time to move on to greener pastures.



Toxic leadership
Image Credit: Midjourney

Let’s be honest, we’ve all crossed paths with a toxic leader in our careers at some point. Unfortunately, while some toxic leaders don’t even bother to hide their behaviour, some know very well how to conceal their true selves behind a strong-built facade. The latter is the most dangerous of the two. (more…)

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