Do you ever have problems getting others to do what you want? Is it hard for you to move others to action? It seems to be a common issue. It can be frustrating because so much of your ultimate success depends heavily on your ability to influence others. If you want to win in life, you have to be able to influence. It’s unavoidable.
Whether you’re a professional working at an organization, or an entrepreneur who is building your own business, your ability to persuade is essential if you want to become successful.
Here’s the good news: Becoming more influential is not difficult. There are simple things you can do to gain more influence.
The issue isn’t just being popular or more talkative. The issue is how you make others feel. It’s a common saying: “People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you make them feel.” What would it be like if you were able to make other people want to do what you’re asking?
It doesn’t have to be difficult. You just need to make them feel what they want to feel. So how do they want to feel? They want to feel important. If you’re going to influence others, you must be able to make them feel important.
Here are 3 tips you can use to instantly become more influential by making others feel important:
Gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to show people how important they are. It’s been shown to enhance the relationships you can have with those around you.
Think about it. How often do people take time to express true, heartfelt gratitude to others? How did you feel the last time it happened to you? Exactly.
Expressing sincere gratitude is a wonderful way to get people to see that they truly matter. When you make people feel this way, they will attach these positive emotions to you.
And the great thing about this is that it’s so easy! All you need to do is find something that the other person did that benefitted you in some way. It doesn’t have to be something huge. Even the small things will work.
When you identify what the other person has done for you, take some time to let them know. You don’t even have to do it face to face. I usually do it by email because I express myself better by writing.
Regardless of the method you use, make sure you do it. It’ll increase your influence dramatically.
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy
2. Get Them To Talk
People love to talk about themselves. If you’re trying to make others feel important, you would do well to remember this fact.
Showing people how important they are means getting them to talk as much as possible. You have to show that you are genuinely interested in what they are saying to you.
The best way to do this is to ask good questions. You need to ask questions that invite a longer answer. There are two types of questions you can ask in a conversation. These are close-ended and open-ended questions.
The difference? A close-ended question can be answered with just a “yes” or a “no” or another type of one-word answer. An open-ended question can’t be answered with just a “yes” or a “no.” The answer has to be longer.
Here’s an example of each:
- Close-ended: Did you like the new Star Wars movie?
- Open-ended: What did you think of the new Star Wars movie?
See the difference? The open-ended question will get the other person to go into more detail about how she feels about the new Star Wars movie.
The more you encourage other people to talk, the more important they will feel. Again, they will attribute this feeling of importance to you.
3. Be Sincere In Your Praise
Praising the other person is a great way to show them that you think they are important. When you take the time to talk about the qualities they possess that you admire, it shows them that you are paying attention to the things they do right.
Similar to gratitude, praise can be a very powerful way to make the other person feel like they matter. We all love it when people notice the effort and hard work that we put forth.
Here’s a caveat: it has to be sincere. Insincere praise is just meaningless flattery. If you’re not being sincere, the other person will pick up on it. This will kill your influence efforts because they will feel like they are being manipulated. Needless to say, nobody wants to feel like they are being played.
When you are looking to give praise, try to pick out qualities that others have noticed. Look for their strengths. That way, when you offer your praise, you can bring up the fact that other people have noticed that they are strong in the area you are praising. This brings a “social proof” element to your praise that will have an even bigger impact.
After all, if you’re telling them something good about themselves that others have noticed, why wouldn’t that make them feel more important? The more effectively you praise others, the more important you will make them feel.
“If you’re sincere, praise is effective. If you’re insincere, it’s manipulative.” – Zig Ziglar
Being influential means having a positive impact on the people you wish to influence. The amount of influence you have is directly tied to the amount of value you bring.
When you make others feel important, you are giving them something that has immense value. That’s why it’s so effective.
Focus on showing others how much they matter to you. Not only will it make you feel more grateful, it will also make people more likely to let you influence them.