Connect with us

Life

24 Lessons I Have Learnt In The Past 24 Years Of My Life

Published

on


Hi Guys, I’m Joel Brown, the owner of Addicted2Success.com and I have been working on this article for some time now. I have had a lot of people asking me for advice, what have I learned so far, pointers for running a blog and how I find my Inspiration. So I decided to create this article – 24 Lessons I Have Learnt In The Past 24 Years Of My Life. I try my hardest to live by these, I hope you can take on some of these pointers for guidance in your life. Thanks!

 

Life Lessons

1. Everybody wants something. Almost everyone acts out of self interest (especially when they claim they don’t.) In fact, the people most eager to volunteer advice or help tend to want the most in return. Assume all career or business assistance is part of an expected exchange, either now or in the future. Then you won’t be disappointed. But keep in mind that occasionally…

2. What a few people want is just to feel good about helping others. Rarely, but it does happen, someone likes to help simply because it makes them feel good. Those people are hard to find, though, because their names aren’t listed as sponsors on event programs or plastered on the sides of b-school buildings. When you find one, make them a permanent part of your life.

3. Your mind will not change unless you exercise it. It wasn’t too long ago I remember you could not pay me to read a book. Reading a book for me was this painful task which I considered a waste of time and boring. I don’t know why, maybe I was at the point in my life where the light came on and I became this knowledge hungry human, like my mind decided “okay it’s time to mature now Joel, you will never know enough, now learn, learn, learn” so I make it my mission now to read everyday, and I swear by it. I read website articles, magazines,  watch Videos, I discuss subjects with my girl and  my friends and I can say that my overall knowledge in the past 2 years has expanded ten fold all because of reading and wanting to learn more. If reading a paper back book is a little  too old school for you then do what I do and save some bookmarks of your Top 5 websites in different areas of interest and make it  a “must do” to read a new article each and every day of the working week. A week or so In you will understand why reading is so important.

4. Don’t have a Plan B. Having a fallback plan means accepting beforehand that your plan will fail. Having a Plan B is telling the universe that the failure of your plan is a solid possibility. Don’t do that! Stick with your plan. Don’t focus on the possibility of failure even for a moment. If you fail, you’ll know in the end what next step to take or find out the right thing to do. Having a single plan gives your work a smarter edge. From the wise words of Jordan Belfort – “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”

5. Everything before “but” is bullsh!t. “I don’t meant to be critical, but…” “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but…” “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…” Yes you do, yes you are, and yes I will. Disclaimers are anything but, indicating the true meaning behind what is said.

6. Boring people win. The people who achieve the most do a lot more of the boring stuff. Routine, rigor, attention to detail, churning away day after day… that is how you will succeed. Every elite athlete, entertainer, and successful business person you will someday know has put in thousands of hours of practice and effort. They are successful mainly because they are willing to do what other people won’t. Learn to enjoy the mundane and you will quickly outdistance the pack. The poor, the unsuccessful, the unhappy, the unhealthy are the ones who use the word tomorrow the most!

7. Stop brainstorming and start borrowing. Most people try to be original — and want to be perceived as original — primarily out of ego. Results are all that matter. Stop trying to think of something new. Why try and re-invent the wheel? All you really need to be planning for is adaptations. The world is forever changing and so are peoples interests, use your time and energy to focus on how you are going to carry your business or ideas to an establishment of longevity. The store, the restaurant, the factory, the school… ideas you can borrow — ideas that you can see actually work — are everywhere. Borrow freely and often, just don’t forget to grow and make it a thing to always improve. That way you and your ideas will never be left behind.

8. The women you really want to meet don’t care about the kind of car you drive. Plain and simple, a bus pass will do, just don’t be bumming off her for lifts. Something that will get your from A-B should suffice.

9. Learn to say ‘no’ even at the risk of being labeled as arrogant, selfish or mean. Say ‘no’ when you feel you want to say ‘no’. Say it!

10. People aren’t always going to be there for you. This is why it is good to learn to fend for yourself, travel the world, put your self in high risk situations, go for a job interview that will make you shit your pants. These are the things that make you confident and ready for the hard knocks in life.

11. Training is great; advice is not. Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn’t. Always ask, “How do I…?” because “how” leads to training and knowledge. Ask, “Should I…” and you get opinions often colored by individual perspectives. Always ask to be shown or taught. When you know how you can decide for yourself whether youshould.

12. Spend most of your time on your priorities. Don’t keep talking about them without taking action. Stop making one list after another. Just spend more time working on them. Literally. Every single day.

13. Visibility is everything. The people who get promotions and opportunities are the people who are seen and noticed. Spend the majority of your time doing great things, but spend at least 10% of your time getting the attention of the people who matter. Customers, partners, media… no one will discover you on their own.  You absolutely must help them find you.

14. Always take out something. Initiatives, projects, decisions… you’ll constantly be tempted to add one more thing to make them even better. Addition almost always results in subtraction. The more you eliminate the more you can focus on what remains, so the stuff you leave out is as important as the stuff you leave in.

15. Shit happens. Learn to stay cool. Learn breathing techniques to calm down fast. Learn how to deal with panic, fear and anxiety. Like Ari Gold from Entourage says “When shit happens, just wipe, flush and move on”.

16. The people who say the least have the most to say. Bragging is a mask for insecurity. Truly confident people are quiet and unassuming. Hang around the humble ones. When they do speak you’ll be glad you were listening.

17. Your parents are a lot smarter than you think. And they only want the best for you. And they’ll always be there for you. And they won’t be around forever. So will it hurt you to call once in a while?

18. Always learn on the fly. Waiting until you’re ready means waiting forever. When you’re “preparing” there are millions of reasons to delay a little longer. Trust yourself. Learn a little and then jump in. Make mistakes, adjust, adapt, and develop greater skill by doing. You’ll save time and achieve more.

19. Hang on to the people you click with. Let go of the emotional leachers who feed on your energy. Point them down the safest road and move on from their complaints and tortures of me me me’s and keep in mind that your true family is not always connected through blood. Let as much positive energy come from you that if negative people, places or things show up.. They’ll get lost like a needle in a hay stack.

20. Don’t expect to get back what you give. Most of the time favors will not be returned. Sacrifices you make for others will not be rewarded. All the people you mentor, develop, promote, and work with will not call to see how you’re doing when you are suddenly let go years from now. When you give, give because you want to give; then you’ll never be disappointed.

21. You will only regret what you decide not do. You won’t regret broken bones from motorcycle racing; you will regret not taking a shot at a higher level of the sport. You won’t regret taking a particularly crappy job; you will regret turning down what was probably a great job. When you look back you will only regret a few of the things you did. (The rest, even if they were mistakes, will help make you the person you become.) What you will regret are things you decide not to do due to lack of confidence or fear of the unknown — like the businesses you should have started and the joint venture you turned down. Safe, in your life, will almost always equal sorry. Take intelligent business risks and trust you will be able to work through any challenges. If nothing else, you’ll have more fun.

 22. Problems aren’t always bad.

“On the other side of fear lies success”. That quote is and always will be one of my favorites. I have learnt that as frustrating as problems can be, they are really just another hurdle that you need to get over to reach your goal. Problems are just challenges really. When you change your frame of mind and look at problems as just another hurdle, you will reap the benefits for holding out and going that extra mile. Each hurdle you overcome will take you one step ahead of the man that decided that there is no way over and it’s all too hard. This is an advantage for you and your ventures.

23. Underpromise, overprepare, overdeliver. Not just in business, but in every portion of your life. Not just for others but for yourself, too.

24. Develop a strong handshake, look people in the eye, and smile when answering the phone. Body Language is everything, in life and in business. This one needs no further explanation.

 

What are your lessons? E-Mail them through and we will create a Lessons Learned article by our Readers here at Addicted2Success.com. E-Mail some of your best lessons learnt in life to info@addicted2success.com and we will post the article next week. Thanks!

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances. I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 200 million lives in the last 10 years.

Advertisement
27 Comments

27 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

on

Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
Continue Reading

Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending