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11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

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11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat wondering what you’re going to do with your life? Desperately wishing you could just abandon your problems and fulfill your life’s ultimate dream?

“Oh, if only life were as simple as it is on TV. I’d be sipping on banana daiquiris in the Bahamas by now!” If only. Banana daiquiris are delicious, but they’re sweeter if well-earned.

Life isn’t cruel or full of contempt. It isn’t this angry, malevolent force. It isn’t on a mission to destroy you before you’ve achieved your dreams. No, life is neutral to our struggles. There are those who proclaim that, “Life is too hard,” or that, “It’s unfair,” or that, “I’m better than them, they’re just…” Which is really just code for, “I don’t know how to win yet, so I’m going to blame it on something.” Excuses.

You aren’t born to make excuses. You’re born to make your dreams come true. That’s what your parents intended for you. That’s what you should intend for yourself.

In the next 11 points, I’m going to show you the most defeating lies, mistakes and excuses that we all make and how you can avoid them. Grab a drink and let’s continue.

Here are the 11 career mistakes you didn’t know you were making:

 

Mistake #1: Always focusing on the plans and never on the people

This is almost the “anti-roadmap” for self-proclaimed introverts. Being an introvert myself and knowing scores of this type, I promise that you love being around people. All humans (yes, all) have a deep craving for emotional connection, each one of us.

Matt Pocius, my friend and the youngest, highest paid Internet marketing consultant in the world, says to make sales he would be on the phone every single day. That’s the fastest way to make $1,000/day, according to him. If you’re not speaking to people, you’re not selling.

I’ll tell you a secret… If you’re going to make it anywhere, you need friends. Nobody has ever become successful on their own. They always have friends and a team who helped them. That’s a million times better than having “connections.” If all you do is practice, you’ll never make any friends.

“There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional intelligence… They’re controlled by different parts of the brain.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #2: Assuming that all debt is bad debt

I stole this secret from Robert Kiyosaki. He talks about it in real estate. There is good debt and bad debt. good debt gives to you and bad debt takes from you. In real estate a good property will make you money. That’s good debt. But a nasty credit card will lose you money, or at best, leave you at neutral. That’s bad debt.

I’m not expecting you to buy a house, I’m expecting you to buy yourself more time. Everything you do should save you time or give you more. You do this by giving to people. Give until it hurts.

Take a fraction of that value back by just asking for something in return. Borrow from people when you know it’ll help you progress. Stop borrowing just trying to survive.

 

Mistake #3: Dipping your toes in to see if it’s “right” for you

I’ve never understood why people “try” to do things. I’ve always been a very driven, intense individual. I’ve had moments doing this, for sure, but I’ve always had an “all-in” mentality. Instead of “trying” to win, just win.

Winners are OBSESSED with their goals – they don’t sleep, they don’t eat, they barely even blink or else they might miss something. And if something inside you says, “I’m not that motivated,” then let me tell you that you just haven’t found something to be motivated about yet. Everybody is motivated. People just don’t see value in their passions ie. skateboarding, dancing, baking pies.

I promise if you view it even slightly entrepreneurially, you’ll find a way to make money. You just have to own it. Make it your beautiful obsession instead of wasting precious time.

 

Mistake #4: Proactively avoiding the important work

STOP THINKING. Overthinking is death. It’s like hot lava. If you touch the lava, you die. What other ways do you cleverly avoid work? Do you take hour-long breaks? Check email 10x a day? Facebook? Watch viral videos? Stop it and just do the important stuff. That’s the secret to productivity.

“Emotional intelligence is a much stronger predictor of who will be the most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #5: Neglecting your health, integrity and relationships

I sleep for 4 hours a night sometimes. When income wasn’t great, I’d eat ramen noodles and survive off of $1/day. I wouldn’t shower so that I could focus more on getting clients (online). And sometimes, I wouldn’t keep my word to others. I broke my integrity.

But listen… If you’re always a day late and a dollar short, get angry and frustrated when bad things happen, if you think family gets in the way, you start to create a host of negative beliefs that I can’t even begin to list. That’s an entire blog post on its own. My aunt, a famous jazz singer, was like this and gave herself cancer. She sat me down and told me how she cured it: she became happy.

She knows that I’m a loving, open person, but I’d become angry and negative. Shortly after I became sick. It scared the crap out of me, so I decided to perk up and drink more water. It wasn’t 100% the cause of my sickness, but it didn’t help. And in the end, I’d rather be happy and successful instead of a miserable success.

 

Mistake #6: Numbing yourself to problems

I’m good at turning off my emotions. Some people eat their problems away. Some people drink, smoke, do drugs, watch TV, whatever. I implore you to experience your emotions.

Emotional intelligence is the #1 underrated tool in business, and nobody knows how to use it. You use it by screaming, crying, being joyful, angry. Fully experience your emotions. Feel it without holding back and it doesn’t get trapped. Your body remembers emotional trauma. Don’t let your body become your cage.

You’re kidding yourself if you think, “I don’t feel emotions” You’re not a robot. I was the robot. Robots feel more deeply than anybody, we just hide it. When you look into people’s eyes, people should see into your heart, not your mind. Empathy creates breakthroughs with people, and that means career success.

 

Mistake #7: Only setting work goals, not life goals

I got this feedback when I was interviewing Guillermo Ulysses (an actor from Grey’s Anatomy) for my podcast. He has 12 degrees from universities, he’s been on TV, in movies, commercials, PSA’s, theatre, and did it in record time. It took him 3 weeks to get an agent. He’s a very smart guy.

He said to me that I couldn’t just focus on being Young Money’s choreographer by June 3, 2016 (I’m a dancer/choreographer by the way) or hitting 1 million views for my dance videos by June 21, 2016 at 11:50 pm. That’s not enough. I need to have other goals. Something with more substance. In his words, “you need to ride an elephant” or “pet a tiger.”

You put these things on a list, you make copies of it, and constantly cross things out. It’ll be in your hallways, doorways, bedroom, mirrors, notebooks, screensaver, on your hands. Literally everywhere you go.

Set goals for every area of your life: health, wealth, love and happiness. When you only have work goals, you get wound too tightly. You know you’re in trouble when you don’t have 5 minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee or a weekend to spend with your wife and kids. And when appropriate, relax and go to the beach. Forget the list and just enjoy the day.

 

Mistake #8: Spending too much time in your brain and your body

You might’ve guessed by now, but I’m a big advocate of emotional intelligence. It helps you stop kidding yourself, be genuine towards others, and be a strong leader.

Sense things in others; pause, reflect, acknowledge what they said, and respond appropriately. I’ve seen people yell and push agendas. They don’t last very long. People hate them.

You’ll actually know when you want to do something. The person who makes frequent decisions and takes too long to make them ends up losing.

Bruce Lee

Mistake #9: Using willpower in unnecessary situations

When people use their willpower, it’s to resist chocolate instead of eating a carrot. They waste their limited willpower on what to wear, what to eat, which watch they should buy, or whether they should rearrange the luggage in the trunk before going to the airport.

Yes, they’re important, but they aren’t life-changing decisions. Replace any daily tasks like what to wear or what to eat with habits.

Learn to prioritize larger goals and create habits. You only have a couple drops of willpower every day. Use willpower like spice, not steak. Steak is action. Spice is direction.

 

Mistake #10: Believing you’re unworthy of success

You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m pretty sure 99.999% of the planet has self-esteem issues. It’s just a human tendency. They fear failure, rejection or success. They don’t speak up when they see a child getting hit by their parent because it’s “none of their business.” They don’t take charge in an argument because they don’t believe in themselves as a leader.

They don’t jump off a zipline because they think they’re afraid of heights. Many people won’t even eat healthy because they don’t believe they’ll get skinny. It’s a LIE. You’ve been telling yourself lies for decades. I told myself I wasn’t capable of becoming a dancer. “It’s an impractical career, dancers make no money, I’m not a good enough dancer, there are no dance agents in my city, I have no money for lessons, I don’t have a good enough camera, I have to buy editing software.” Blah blah blah. Full of excuses.

Now I’m sponsored by Cadillac, I’ve been in music videos, toured all over Canada and living in Los Angeles. It took me one month. Now I get to build my brand. Listen… If you’re not successful, it’s not because you don’t want success, it’s because you’re telling yourself lies. If you’re unhappy with your career, it’s because you abandoned your dreams.

Your “long shot”, your destiny, your dreams… Suppressed by lies. If you’re suffering, then rescue yourself. You deserve it. Hiding will do you no good. You are the one person you can’t hide from; at the end of the day, you know if you did the right thing.

 

Mistake #11: Being glued to your smartphone

I know, I know, you’re hustling. Or playing games. Or Instagramming. Maybe it’s advancing your career, maybe it’s not, but the larger point I’m trying to make is that you’re disconnecting and numbing yourself. Being in front of screens gradually robs you of your humanity if you aren’t careful.

Most people don’t talk to anybody. They just sit in their chairs, hide behind their laptops, and eat with their phones in one hand while sloppily eating their spinach steak salad. When I’ve been the most successful in life it’s been when I was out every single day for 30 minutes just trying to talk to people.

Do I do this because I’m an extrovert and love to be around people? Well, that helps, but it’s not the point I’m trying to make. What I’m talking about is bigger, I’m surprised that nobody talks about it. When you aren’t glued to your phone, you aren’t hiding from anybody. You’re forced to be in the present and  to look people in the eyes. People feel you.

You wanna make an impact? You wanna make a million dollars? Start with looking people in the eyes. Look at yourself in the eyes. Smile when you talk. No crossed arms or blank stares. Just pure joy. Presence.

 

Now, go out and earn yourself a good life filled with lots of money, friends and banana daiquiris. You deserve it!

Kris Roxas is a writer, dancer and media personality. He has worked with Android and Toyota to develop marketing campaigns and is currently sponsored by Cadillac as a dancer. After suffering a brain hemorrhage, Kris re-taught himself how to walk, read, speak without a lisp and think clearly. He now shows no signs of brain trauma and has made it his mission to help others become overachievers and build self-confidence. You can find him at his website krisroxas.com or on Twitter @krisroxas.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
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  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

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    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

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  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

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Success Advice

I Embraced These 5 Characteristics. Best Decision I Ever Made.

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The other day I was putting together a guide for my clients on how to succeed in social media.

All of a sudden, I had an epiphany – a life-changing moment of clarity that was so incredibly rare.

I realized that the things I’ve learned about social media actually apply more broadly to life.

The key differentiator between those who achieve a lot of success online are these 5 characteristics:

 

Characteristic 1 – Humbleness

Achieving success on social media leads to a large number of messages from all sorts of people. Remaining humble and talking to people like you’re on their level has helped me to get people’s respect.

Humbleness creates beautiful conversations that touch your soul and make you and the other person feel phenomenal.

A bit of success can easily make you feel superior and so humbleness is the way to stay grounded and not forget who you are, and where you’ve come from.

Humbleness is a brilliant decision.

 

Characteristic 2 – Gracefulness

The world of social media is fast-paced and often frantic. Being graceful has allowed me to move slower at times and reflect on each thing that I do in my life.

“Rather than trying to walk over the top of what everyone else is trying to do and charge through the battlefield of social media like an out of control soldier who’s gone rogue, I’ve learned to be more graceful”

Being graceful is difficult to explain at times. I see it as making moves with composure, calmness and keeping balance between the many tasks that can pull us from side to side (such as distractions).

Slow down, think about your decisions carefully and be graceful as you make your moves.

Gracefulness is a decision that will make you calm.

 

Characteristic 3 – Kindness

The secret ingredient of all of my online success. It’s also the same ingredient that many of the people you look up to use.

When you meet a stranger, you be friendly.
When someone praises one of your Facebook posts, you be kind and say thank you.
When you see someone struggling and you can help, you offer your time.

Kindness is a characteristic that bonds all of us together. It will bring more good things in your life than any other trait.

“Kindness is a belief in yourself and your fellow humans to do the right thing”

Kindness is a belief that we can all be better by helping each other and doing so in a generous, friendly and considerate way.

Above all else, kindness is the best decision you can make.

 

Characteristic 4 – Vulnerability

There’s a temptation with social media to hide behind a mask and pretend you’re happy and living this amazing life that everyone else should be envious of. Vulnerability has been a trait I’ve used to bring people in and show them the real me.

Vulnerability is when you share your epic failure.
Vulnerability is when you’re not afraid to show weakness.
Vulnerability is admitting something made you cry.
Vulnerability is admitting you’re not okay.

Putting vulnerability into everything you do makes you human. People want to see you be vulnerable and it shows huge amounts of courage at the same time. Rather than getting attached to your critic’s opinions, vulnerability can help you go further and be authentic.

When you crush your fear (like my well-known public speaking one), you should share that vulnerable moment with your family, work friends and online connections.

You’ll sometimes experience some fear when you attempt to be vulnerable and that’s usually a sign that you are going outside your comfort zone which is good.

Breaking your comfort zone is how you grow and that’s what will give you the strength to attack bigger goals in the future. Don’t back away from being vulnerable; face into it.

Vulnerability is a decision to stand out from the crowd and be you – warts and all.

 

Characteristic 5 – Willingness To Share (no strings attached)

Sharing is the act of demonstrating you have enough. It’s a form of gratitude.

As an example, the other day, a guy asked me how I do my video posts and within a few minutes I sent him back, step-by-step, how I do them.

He was shocked!
He couldn’t believe I’d tell him step-by-step and want nothing in return.

I embraced a willingness to share because I realized like most of you, that no one has a monopoly on information or ideas. Anyone can find anything out thanks to the Internet. So, what’s the point of hiding your knowledge? There is none.

Share what you know, and maybe one day they’ll return the favor. All of us have useful lessons, failures, stories and ideas to share. Rather than hide them, share them for the world to see.

This willingness to share has worked for me and it’s fuelled my side business but I’ve only found it to work when you share with no strings attached.

“The moment you expect something in return, people can sniff out your selfishness like a dog at the airport sniffing for drugs”

Most of the knowledge and strategies I’ve obtained that are responsible for my success have come from other people’s willingness to share. It’s only fair that I return the gift and that you do the same.

Sharing is a fantastic decision to make.

 

Why these 5 characteristics work.

These five traits have led me to discover my version of success and I believe they are most of what you need to succeed at any pursuit in life.

Once these traits become habits, you’ll do them without thinking. These traits are what have compounded my success and I honestly believe they will do the same for you.

These five traits are the foundation for anyone wanting to do something big and bring the rest of us on the journey. They are also the same traits that will help you build a tribe of people who want to achieve a common mission.

You don’t need piles of money.
You don’t need millions of followers.
You don’t need to overwork and burn out.

What you need is to make a decision to be humble, graceful, kind, vulnerable and willing to share.

These traits work because they each have an element of selflessness about them.
These traits are not about you as such; they’re about what you can do for all of us.

Embracing these five traits is the best decision I’ve made. Will you make the same decision?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

If You’re Looking for Success, Here Are 5 Ways to Find It

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What do people want when they talk about being successful? Some of us might want things such as a yacht, private island, or a jet. Others want to feel like they belong and have great relationships with their family and loved ones.

We end up wanting things without knowing exactly why. We end up creating images in our heads of what it would be like to own these things, to have these relationships, to live these lives, but we casually ignore the negative things that are bound to challenge us along the way.

Even if we end up building these lives for ourselves, we forget that all life comes with suffering, and anyone who experiences great success will also have moments of frustration and perceived failure.

Here are 5 ways to find success right here, right now, as you continue on the path towards building your empire:

1. Excavate before you begin building

Just as you wouldn’t build a skyscraper before excavating deeply underground the construction site and setting the foundation, you wouldn’t start to develop the foundation for a successful life without first understanding where you come from and what drives you. Dig deep to understand what core truths truly motivate you and what you really care about before you start building yourself up. A career built on a shaky foundation will never stand the test of time.

2. Create a strong network

The Pando is a tree colony on the border between Colorado and Utah. What makes the Pando unique is that it is thought to be one contiguous organism, with a combined underground root network covering over 100 acres. The Pando is thought to be the world’s heaviest living organism, and one of the oldest at over 80,000 years old.

Consider what the journey towards success would be without a strong network. Without security and a strong foundation, you won’t be able to weather the storm when inevitable challenges come your way on the path to great success. In order to be truly successful, you must also be willing to share your victories and your defeats with others.

This isn’t about finding fair weather friends who are happy for you when you have a great accomplishment and disappear in times of trouble. You need to build this strong network and ecosystem which will support you in times of need and through times of plenty.

“Effective networking isn’t a result of luck – it requires hard work and persistence.” – Lewis Howes

3. Strengthen your monkey mind

Take responsibility for the habits you choose to strengthen and cultivate, and be ruthless with the habits you choose to cut out. The Basal Ganglia is the part of the brain responsible for the development of habits, while the Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain responsible for complex decision making and thought processes.

The Basal Ganglia is effectively the less developed, most basic part of the brain. This “monkey mind” must be strengthened by building strong habits if you want to teach your subconscious to focus on the right things at the right times.

4. Shoot for the moon

As the saying goes, “shoot for the moon, so you’ll land among the stars.” I honestly hate this saying, as I think it is incredibly corny, but it illustrates the point well. If you aim for a big goal, you will be more likely to reach some level of success and acclaim no matter what happens.

What the saying misses is the amount of planning and preparation that goes into “shooting for the moon”. When John F Kennedy announced his plan to land a man on the Moon by the end of the 1960s, he set the United States on a road to investing more on a single project than at any other time in human history.

The combined efforts and finances of the most powerful nation on earth all went into making sure the mission would be a success, and as a result humanity came together to accomplish something magnificent.

So, when you’re aiming for something big, don’t half ass it, make a bold announcement, loop in your supporters, and try to change the world. Sometimes when you aim big, you’ll be surprised by who jumps in to lend a hand.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown

5. Make your heart sing

One of the most important factors that defines true success is the ability to do something on a regular basis that brings you joy. While your job won’t always be interesting, and all things done with regularity become monotonous, you should strive to find what makes your heart sing about the work you do and the world in which you live.

Only if you are able to tap into what makes your heart truly sing will you be able to call yourself a success in your daily life. Don’t ask yourself what you love about your job, or even what made you first get interested in your line of work. Instead, ask yourself, what about your current role makes your heart sing.

If you don’t know how to answer that question, perhaps you should go back to step one and start excavating your foundation.

How are you making sure you achieve success this year? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

5 Neuroplasticity Exercises the Top 3% of the Happy and Successful Do

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Neuroplasticity Exercises

Neuroplasticity means you will no more have to wake up each morning with the dread of having to start a new day of which you already know the outcome. For decades, it’s been the same routine, you get up with negative feelings that your day will turnout just like the day before full of stress and discontent.

Whether it’s concerning your job/career, a relationship, finances, or health, you just know everything will go against you no matter what you do. You may have fallen into the trap of having a fixed mindset where you think your abilities to learn and accomplish more in your life are limited.

The truth is you may have limitations, but you can still envision better solutions. Your brain is ready and willing to go the extra mile to learn how to solve all the issues your facing in life but it’s that doubt, worry, and fear that continually creeps into the thought pattern which acts as the action killer.

Neuroplasticity isn’t some kind of new Play-Doh for kids, it’s the power your brain has to rejuvenate and create the life you want. Neuroplasticity – or brain plasticity – is the brain’s ability to modify its connections or rewire itself. Without this ability, any brain, not just the human brain, would be unable to develop from infancy through to adulthood. It has now been proven the brain continues to learn and rejuvenate itself as new data is received and stored.

You may say, “You’re just wired to be unhappy.” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s the beliefs and train of thought our culture has today due to our primitive and out of date educational system along with the big corporation’s ideology.

“Brain plasticity is a two-way street. It’s just as easy to generate negative changes as positive ones.”

Here’s the eye-opening truth, you can change and rewire your brain for happiness and success We have habits that turn into beliefs which distort our perceptions of life and the world around us. Habits are strong persuaders to your actions in familiar areas of life so, when you disrupt those habits it sends the brain into a little chaos until change takes place.

That’s fantastic news because if we can create habits that distort our brain, we can also create habits that reveal and rejuvenate clear precise solutions to our challenging issues. So, how do you start retraining your brain for happiness and success?

Start changing habits to increase brain power with these proven neuroplasticity builders below:

1. Aerobic Exercises

A 60-minute intense workout gives the best results but just in case you’re not a fitness addict, taking a leisure stroll through the park will light up different parts of your brain and aid with neuroplasticity.

2. Reading a good book

If you hate sitting down and taking the time to read a good book or magazine, that’s fantastic because doing things you don’t like and are different stimulate your neurons to the max.

3. Playing games

It can be challenging on the brain to try and figure out all the winning strategies to become the champion in a board game. Nonetheless, these will really get the old brain juices flowing.

4. Anything out of the ordinary

Doing something out of the ordinary will trigger the brain plasticity you’re looking for. Things as simple as brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. If your right-handed start brushing with the left or vise-versa.

Learning is thought to be “neuro-protective.” Through neuroplasticity, learning increases connections between neurons, increases cellular metabolism, and increases the production of nerve growth factor, a substance produced by the body to help maintain and repair neurons.”

“Neuroplasticity provides us with a brain that can adapt not only to changes inflicted by damage, but allows adaptation to any and all experiences and changes we may encounter.”

5. Smile

Smiling starts your day off with a BANG and can give those brain cells of yours an extra boost anytime anywhere. It’s like taking a shot of super juice to overcome the stress, worry, and frustrations during the day.

In the mornings when you open those big beautiful sexy eyes of yours put on a smile from ear to ear on your face. This will trigger your brain to release the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.

Dopamine is classified as the happy chemical in neuroscience which has the ability to create a state of euphoria throughout your entire body in a matter of seconds. It vanquishes the feeling of stress, worry, and frustration immediately. The great thing is dopamine works every single time and it doesn’t matter if the smile is genuine or fake because the brain can’t distinguish the difference.

The bad thing is statistics show, adults only put a SMILE on their face an average of 4 times a day compared to child who SMILES an average of 400 times a day. If you want to rewire your brain for happiness and success while defusing stress, worry, and frustrations in your life daily it may be wise to start following the examples of our children.

Above are some exciting proven avenues to invigorate neuroplasticity to your brain functions and start living and loving life to the fullest on your own terms.

Would love to hear about your personal exercises being used to rejuvenate your brain for happiness and success in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

The 3 C’s of Leadership That Determines Your Success

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leadership

Have you caught the seasonal flu or a common cold this winter season? If so, you likely received advice to drink a glass of orange juice for the benefits associated with consuming Vitamin C. To repair an immune system that has been weakened by the common cold or flu, Vitamin C can provide the body with nutrition that can expedite recovery time. When it comes to exhibiting positive leadership behaviors there exists three qualities that also begin with the letter “C” and are helpful.  

To receive the Vitamin C’s of leadership, you must start with a desire to improve. One camp might endorse that you find mentorship from a senior colleague. Another person or group may recommend that you spend more time reading articles or books discussing leadership experiences and advice. With either point of origin, it can open a path to growth and improvement as a leader. However, you chose to proceed with the second inquiry which is why you are here!

We often believe that leadership is a cumbersome and daunting process. It can be difficult, but if we are strategic about cultivating a few characteristics, the mountain to positive impact is a little more feasible to climb. From school teachers and administrators to business executives and their employees, I have found that all great leaders possess a minimum of three dominant characteristics.

These three dominant features can provide an individual with the strength to continue during the difficult times that often accompany leadership; they are similar to the Vitamin C that can make you feel better when battling a cold or the flu.

Enough already, what are the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success? See below:

1. Confidence

Leaders believe in themselves and the people they serve. This positive self-awareness or confidence that effective leaders have, often radiates in every aspect of their work from communication with others to informed decisions. One strategy you can use to develop confidence is the commitment to being the first one to speak during a meeting or class. Successful leaders are willing to express themselves in a variety of capacities, even when they may possess less common viewpoints or modes of behavior.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell

2. Competency

Building on the importance of confidence, effective leadership is about being able to create a personal development plan that consistently encourages you to improve. Some of the most revered leaders in our society, strategically make time to read daily. Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey are two of the most common examples of this relentless thirst for knowledge.

They have committed to life-long learning that continues, despite reaching nearly every financial and business goal possible. To become more competent, you can create a schedule that allows for the investment in activities such as reading articles and books to stay informed.

3. Charisma

You might call it SWAG or a gift, but the ability to attract other people who support you and your work are essential. It is not necessary to resemble a supermodel to get people to like you, but you do need to carry yourself with a certain level of pride to effectively encourage others to follow your advice and instructions.

Charisma is a byproduct of possessing confidence in yourself to serve as a useful leader. You can build more charisma in your life, by being more mindful to genuinely listen and respond to your colleagues, family, and friends in conversations. Don’t allow yourself to become intimidated by the responsibilities that can come with the roles of a leader.

“I attract a crowd, not because I’m an extrovert or I’m over the top or I’m oozing with charisma. It’s because I care.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

In many cases, you would not be in the position to earn followers without the necessary qualifications or skill set. Excelling in leadership is possible for you when you are consistent with tapping into the power of the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success.

Confidence, Competency, and Charisma can offer a bountiful number of resources to serve others in authoritative roles of professional and personal environments. Confident leaders believe in themselves, their products, and their services. Competent leaders commit to a lifetime of learning. Charismatic leaders make use of their confidence to attract other people who can support the vision of a group or individual. With the engagement of consistent activities and the reinforcement from positive examples of leadership, nothing is impossible for you to achieve!

How do you display confidence, competency, and charisma on a daily basis with people? Let us know your advice below!

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Early Success: 7 Entrepreneurs Who Got Rich During or After College

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Not all entrepreneurs wait until they have years of experience to start out on their own. Many have the confidence in their abilities and ideas to get an early start. The seven entrepreneurs below did just that. They either dropped out of school and found success quickly, or did so shortly after graduation. (more…)

Jessica Fender, pro writer and blogger at Online Writers Rating, a platform for the customers who want to find the best writing companies on the web.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
    I truly like your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to
    my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look
    at my website too and tell me how you feel.

  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

  4. rental property

    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I am now not sure where you are getting your information, however great topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I used to be on the
    lookout for this info for my mission.

  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

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Success Advice

I Embraced These 5 Characteristics. Best Decision I Ever Made.

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The other day I was putting together a guide for my clients on how to succeed in social media.

All of a sudden, I had an epiphany – a life-changing moment of clarity that was so incredibly rare.

I realized that the things I’ve learned about social media actually apply more broadly to life.

The key differentiator between those who achieve a lot of success online are these 5 characteristics:

 

Characteristic 1 – Humbleness

Achieving success on social media leads to a large number of messages from all sorts of people. Remaining humble and talking to people like you’re on their level has helped me to get people’s respect.

Humbleness creates beautiful conversations that touch your soul and make you and the other person feel phenomenal.

A bit of success can easily make you feel superior and so humbleness is the way to stay grounded and not forget who you are, and where you’ve come from.

Humbleness is a brilliant decision.

 

Characteristic 2 – Gracefulness

The world of social media is fast-paced and often frantic. Being graceful has allowed me to move slower at times and reflect on each thing that I do in my life.

“Rather than trying to walk over the top of what everyone else is trying to do and charge through the battlefield of social media like an out of control soldier who’s gone rogue, I’ve learned to be more graceful”

Being graceful is difficult to explain at times. I see it as making moves with composure, calmness and keeping balance between the many tasks that can pull us from side to side (such as distractions).

Slow down, think about your decisions carefully and be graceful as you make your moves.

Gracefulness is a decision that will make you calm.

 

Characteristic 3 – Kindness

The secret ingredient of all of my online success. It’s also the same ingredient that many of the people you look up to use.

When you meet a stranger, you be friendly.
When someone praises one of your Facebook posts, you be kind and say thank you.
When you see someone struggling and you can help, you offer your time.

Kindness is a characteristic that bonds all of us together. It will bring more good things in your life than any other trait.

“Kindness is a belief in yourself and your fellow humans to do the right thing”

Kindness is a belief that we can all be better by helping each other and doing so in a generous, friendly and considerate way.

Above all else, kindness is the best decision you can make.

 

Characteristic 4 – Vulnerability

There’s a temptation with social media to hide behind a mask and pretend you’re happy and living this amazing life that everyone else should be envious of. Vulnerability has been a trait I’ve used to bring people in and show them the real me.

Vulnerability is when you share your epic failure.
Vulnerability is when you’re not afraid to show weakness.
Vulnerability is admitting something made you cry.
Vulnerability is admitting you’re not okay.

Putting vulnerability into everything you do makes you human. People want to see you be vulnerable and it shows huge amounts of courage at the same time. Rather than getting attached to your critic’s opinions, vulnerability can help you go further and be authentic.

When you crush your fear (like my well-known public speaking one), you should share that vulnerable moment with your family, work friends and online connections.

You’ll sometimes experience some fear when you attempt to be vulnerable and that’s usually a sign that you are going outside your comfort zone which is good.

Breaking your comfort zone is how you grow and that’s what will give you the strength to attack bigger goals in the future. Don’t back away from being vulnerable; face into it.

Vulnerability is a decision to stand out from the crowd and be you – warts and all.

 

Characteristic 5 – Willingness To Share (no strings attached)

Sharing is the act of demonstrating you have enough. It’s a form of gratitude.

As an example, the other day, a guy asked me how I do my video posts and within a few minutes I sent him back, step-by-step, how I do them.

He was shocked!
He couldn’t believe I’d tell him step-by-step and want nothing in return.

I embraced a willingness to share because I realized like most of you, that no one has a monopoly on information or ideas. Anyone can find anything out thanks to the Internet. So, what’s the point of hiding your knowledge? There is none.

Share what you know, and maybe one day they’ll return the favor. All of us have useful lessons, failures, stories and ideas to share. Rather than hide them, share them for the world to see.

This willingness to share has worked for me and it’s fuelled my side business but I’ve only found it to work when you share with no strings attached.

“The moment you expect something in return, people can sniff out your selfishness like a dog at the airport sniffing for drugs”

Most of the knowledge and strategies I’ve obtained that are responsible for my success have come from other people’s willingness to share. It’s only fair that I return the gift and that you do the same.

Sharing is a fantastic decision to make.

 

Why these 5 characteristics work.

These five traits have led me to discover my version of success and I believe they are most of what you need to succeed at any pursuit in life.

Once these traits become habits, you’ll do them without thinking. These traits are what have compounded my success and I honestly believe they will do the same for you.

These five traits are the foundation for anyone wanting to do something big and bring the rest of us on the journey. They are also the same traits that will help you build a tribe of people who want to achieve a common mission.

You don’t need piles of money.
You don’t need millions of followers.
You don’t need to overwork and burn out.

What you need is to make a decision to be humble, graceful, kind, vulnerable and willing to share.

These traits work because they each have an element of selflessness about them.
These traits are not about you as such; they’re about what you can do for all of us.

Embracing these five traits is the best decision I’ve made. Will you make the same decision?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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If You’re Looking for Success, Here Are 5 Ways to Find It

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looking for success

What do people want when they talk about being successful? Some of us might want things such as a yacht, private island, or a jet. Others want to feel like they belong and have great relationships with their family and loved ones.

We end up wanting things without knowing exactly why. We end up creating images in our heads of what it would be like to own these things, to have these relationships, to live these lives, but we casually ignore the negative things that are bound to challenge us along the way.

Even if we end up building these lives for ourselves, we forget that all life comes with suffering, and anyone who experiences great success will also have moments of frustration and perceived failure.

Here are 5 ways to find success right here, right now, as you continue on the path towards building your empire:

1. Excavate before you begin building

Just as you wouldn’t build a skyscraper before excavating deeply underground the construction site and setting the foundation, you wouldn’t start to develop the foundation for a successful life without first understanding where you come from and what drives you. Dig deep to understand what core truths truly motivate you and what you really care about before you start building yourself up. A career built on a shaky foundation will never stand the test of time.

2. Create a strong network

The Pando is a tree colony on the border between Colorado and Utah. What makes the Pando unique is that it is thought to be one contiguous organism, with a combined underground root network covering over 100 acres. The Pando is thought to be the world’s heaviest living organism, and one of the oldest at over 80,000 years old.

Consider what the journey towards success would be without a strong network. Without security and a strong foundation, you won’t be able to weather the storm when inevitable challenges come your way on the path to great success. In order to be truly successful, you must also be willing to share your victories and your defeats with others.

This isn’t about finding fair weather friends who are happy for you when you have a great accomplishment and disappear in times of trouble. You need to build this strong network and ecosystem which will support you in times of need and through times of plenty.

“Effective networking isn’t a result of luck – it requires hard work and persistence.” – Lewis Howes

3. Strengthen your monkey mind

Take responsibility for the habits you choose to strengthen and cultivate, and be ruthless with the habits you choose to cut out. The Basal Ganglia is the part of the brain responsible for the development of habits, while the Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain responsible for complex decision making and thought processes.

The Basal Ganglia is effectively the less developed, most basic part of the brain. This “monkey mind” must be strengthened by building strong habits if you want to teach your subconscious to focus on the right things at the right times.

4. Shoot for the moon

As the saying goes, “shoot for the moon, so you’ll land among the stars.” I honestly hate this saying, as I think it is incredibly corny, but it illustrates the point well. If you aim for a big goal, you will be more likely to reach some level of success and acclaim no matter what happens.

What the saying misses is the amount of planning and preparation that goes into “shooting for the moon”. When John F Kennedy announced his plan to land a man on the Moon by the end of the 1960s, he set the United States on a road to investing more on a single project than at any other time in human history.

The combined efforts and finances of the most powerful nation on earth all went into making sure the mission would be a success, and as a result humanity came together to accomplish something magnificent.

So, when you’re aiming for something big, don’t half ass it, make a bold announcement, loop in your supporters, and try to change the world. Sometimes when you aim big, you’ll be surprised by who jumps in to lend a hand.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown

5. Make your heart sing

One of the most important factors that defines true success is the ability to do something on a regular basis that brings you joy. While your job won’t always be interesting, and all things done with regularity become monotonous, you should strive to find what makes your heart sing about the work you do and the world in which you live.

Only if you are able to tap into what makes your heart truly sing will you be able to call yourself a success in your daily life. Don’t ask yourself what you love about your job, or even what made you first get interested in your line of work. Instead, ask yourself, what about your current role makes your heart sing.

If you don’t know how to answer that question, perhaps you should go back to step one and start excavating your foundation.

How are you making sure you achieve success this year? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

5 Neuroplasticity Exercises the Top 3% of the Happy and Successful Do

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Neuroplasticity Exercises

Neuroplasticity means you will no more have to wake up each morning with the dread of having to start a new day of which you already know the outcome. For decades, it’s been the same routine, you get up with negative feelings that your day will turnout just like the day before full of stress and discontent.

Whether it’s concerning your job/career, a relationship, finances, or health, you just know everything will go against you no matter what you do. You may have fallen into the trap of having a fixed mindset where you think your abilities to learn and accomplish more in your life are limited.

The truth is you may have limitations, but you can still envision better solutions. Your brain is ready and willing to go the extra mile to learn how to solve all the issues your facing in life but it’s that doubt, worry, and fear that continually creeps into the thought pattern which acts as the action killer.

Neuroplasticity isn’t some kind of new Play-Doh for kids, it’s the power your brain has to rejuvenate and create the life you want. Neuroplasticity – or brain plasticity – is the brain’s ability to modify its connections or rewire itself. Without this ability, any brain, not just the human brain, would be unable to develop from infancy through to adulthood. It has now been proven the brain continues to learn and rejuvenate itself as new data is received and stored.

You may say, “You’re just wired to be unhappy.” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s the beliefs and train of thought our culture has today due to our primitive and out of date educational system along with the big corporation’s ideology.

“Brain plasticity is a two-way street. It’s just as easy to generate negative changes as positive ones.”

Here’s the eye-opening truth, you can change and rewire your brain for happiness and success We have habits that turn into beliefs which distort our perceptions of life and the world around us. Habits are strong persuaders to your actions in familiar areas of life so, when you disrupt those habits it sends the brain into a little chaos until change takes place.

That’s fantastic news because if we can create habits that distort our brain, we can also create habits that reveal and rejuvenate clear precise solutions to our challenging issues. So, how do you start retraining your brain for happiness and success?

Start changing habits to increase brain power with these proven neuroplasticity builders below:

1. Aerobic Exercises

A 60-minute intense workout gives the best results but just in case you’re not a fitness addict, taking a leisure stroll through the park will light up different parts of your brain and aid with neuroplasticity.

2. Reading a good book

If you hate sitting down and taking the time to read a good book or magazine, that’s fantastic because doing things you don’t like and are different stimulate your neurons to the max.

3. Playing games

It can be challenging on the brain to try and figure out all the winning strategies to become the champion in a board game. Nonetheless, these will really get the old brain juices flowing.

4. Anything out of the ordinary

Doing something out of the ordinary will trigger the brain plasticity you’re looking for. Things as simple as brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. If your right-handed start brushing with the left or vise-versa.

Learning is thought to be “neuro-protective.” Through neuroplasticity, learning increases connections between neurons, increases cellular metabolism, and increases the production of nerve growth factor, a substance produced by the body to help maintain and repair neurons.”

“Neuroplasticity provides us with a brain that can adapt not only to changes inflicted by damage, but allows adaptation to any and all experiences and changes we may encounter.”

5. Smile

Smiling starts your day off with a BANG and can give those brain cells of yours an extra boost anytime anywhere. It’s like taking a shot of super juice to overcome the stress, worry, and frustrations during the day.

In the mornings when you open those big beautiful sexy eyes of yours put on a smile from ear to ear on your face. This will trigger your brain to release the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.

Dopamine is classified as the happy chemical in neuroscience which has the ability to create a state of euphoria throughout your entire body in a matter of seconds. It vanquishes the feeling of stress, worry, and frustration immediately. The great thing is dopamine works every single time and it doesn’t matter if the smile is genuine or fake because the brain can’t distinguish the difference.

The bad thing is statistics show, adults only put a SMILE on their face an average of 4 times a day compared to child who SMILES an average of 400 times a day. If you want to rewire your brain for happiness and success while defusing stress, worry, and frustrations in your life daily it may be wise to start following the examples of our children.

Above are some exciting proven avenues to invigorate neuroplasticity to your brain functions and start living and loving life to the fullest on your own terms.

Would love to hear about your personal exercises being used to rejuvenate your brain for happiness and success in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

The 3 C’s of Leadership That Determines Your Success

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leadership

Have you caught the seasonal flu or a common cold this winter season? If so, you likely received advice to drink a glass of orange juice for the benefits associated with consuming Vitamin C. To repair an immune system that has been weakened by the common cold or flu, Vitamin C can provide the body with nutrition that can expedite recovery time. When it comes to exhibiting positive leadership behaviors there exists three qualities that also begin with the letter “C” and are helpful.  

To receive the Vitamin C’s of leadership, you must start with a desire to improve. One camp might endorse that you find mentorship from a senior colleague. Another person or group may recommend that you spend more time reading articles or books discussing leadership experiences and advice. With either point of origin, it can open a path to growth and improvement as a leader. However, you chose to proceed with the second inquiry which is why you are here!

We often believe that leadership is a cumbersome and daunting process. It can be difficult, but if we are strategic about cultivating a few characteristics, the mountain to positive impact is a little more feasible to climb. From school teachers and administrators to business executives and their employees, I have found that all great leaders possess a minimum of three dominant characteristics.

These three dominant features can provide an individual with the strength to continue during the difficult times that often accompany leadership; they are similar to the Vitamin C that can make you feel better when battling a cold or the flu.

Enough already, what are the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success? See below:

1. Confidence

Leaders believe in themselves and the people they serve. This positive self-awareness or confidence that effective leaders have, often radiates in every aspect of their work from communication with others to informed decisions. One strategy you can use to develop confidence is the commitment to being the first one to speak during a meeting or class. Successful leaders are willing to express themselves in a variety of capacities, even when they may possess less common viewpoints or modes of behavior.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell

2. Competency

Building on the importance of confidence, effective leadership is about being able to create a personal development plan that consistently encourages you to improve. Some of the most revered leaders in our society, strategically make time to read daily. Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey are two of the most common examples of this relentless thirst for knowledge.

They have committed to life-long learning that continues, despite reaching nearly every financial and business goal possible. To become more competent, you can create a schedule that allows for the investment in activities such as reading articles and books to stay informed.

3. Charisma

You might call it SWAG or a gift, but the ability to attract other people who support you and your work are essential. It is not necessary to resemble a supermodel to get people to like you, but you do need to carry yourself with a certain level of pride to effectively encourage others to follow your advice and instructions.

Charisma is a byproduct of possessing confidence in yourself to serve as a useful leader. You can build more charisma in your life, by being more mindful to genuinely listen and respond to your colleagues, family, and friends in conversations. Don’t allow yourself to become intimidated by the responsibilities that can come with the roles of a leader.

“I attract a crowd, not because I’m an extrovert or I’m over the top or I’m oozing with charisma. It’s because I care.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

In many cases, you would not be in the position to earn followers without the necessary qualifications or skill set. Excelling in leadership is possible for you when you are consistent with tapping into the power of the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success.

Confidence, Competency, and Charisma can offer a bountiful number of resources to serve others in authoritative roles of professional and personal environments. Confident leaders believe in themselves, their products, and their services. Competent leaders commit to a lifetime of learning. Charismatic leaders make use of their confidence to attract other people who can support the vision of a group or individual. With the engagement of consistent activities and the reinforcement from positive examples of leadership, nothing is impossible for you to achieve!

How do you display confidence, competency, and charisma on a daily basis with people? Let us know your advice below!

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