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11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

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11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat wondering what you’re going to do with your life? Desperately wishing you could just abandon your problems and fulfill your life’s ultimate dream?

“Oh, if only life were as simple as it is on TV. I’d be sipping on banana daiquiris in the Bahamas by now!” If only. Banana daiquiris are delicious, but they’re sweeter if well-earned.

Life isn’t cruel or full of contempt. It isn’t this angry, malevolent force. It isn’t on a mission to destroy you before you’ve achieved your dreams. No, life is neutral to our struggles. There are those who proclaim that, “Life is too hard,” or that, “It’s unfair,” or that, “I’m better than them, they’re just…” Which is really just code for, “I don’t know how to win yet, so I’m going to blame it on something.” Excuses.

You aren’t born to make excuses. You’re born to make your dreams come true. That’s what your parents intended for you. That’s what you should intend for yourself.

In the next 11 points, I’m going to show you the most defeating lies, mistakes and excuses that we all make and how you can avoid them. Grab a drink and let’s continue.

Here are the 11 career mistakes you didn’t know you were making:

 

Mistake #1: Always focusing on the plans and never on the people

This is almost the “anti-roadmap” for self-proclaimed introverts. Being an introvert myself and knowing scores of this type, I promise that you love being around people. All humans (yes, all) have a deep craving for emotional connection, each one of us.

Matt Pocius, my friend and the youngest, highest paid Internet marketing consultant in the world, says to make sales he would be on the phone every single day. That’s the fastest way to make $1,000/day, according to him. If you’re not speaking to people, you’re not selling.

I’ll tell you a secret… If you’re going to make it anywhere, you need friends. Nobody has ever become successful on their own. They always have friends and a team who helped them. That’s a million times better than having “connections.” If all you do is practice, you’ll never make any friends.

“There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional intelligence… They’re controlled by different parts of the brain.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #2: Assuming that all debt is bad debt

I stole this secret from Robert Kiyosaki. He talks about it in real estate. There is good debt and bad debt. good debt gives to you and bad debt takes from you. In real estate a good property will make you money. That’s good debt. But a nasty credit card will lose you money, or at best, leave you at neutral. That’s bad debt.

I’m not expecting you to buy a house, I’m expecting you to buy yourself more time. Everything you do should save you time or give you more. You do this by giving to people. Give until it hurts.

Take a fraction of that value back by just asking for something in return. Borrow from people when you know it’ll help you progress. Stop borrowing just trying to survive.

 

Mistake #3: Dipping your toes in to see if it’s “right” for you

I’ve never understood why people “try” to do things. I’ve always been a very driven, intense individual. I’ve had moments doing this, for sure, but I’ve always had an “all-in” mentality. Instead of “trying” to win, just win.

Winners are OBSESSED with their goals – they don’t sleep, they don’t eat, they barely even blink or else they might miss something. And if something inside you says, “I’m not that motivated,” then let me tell you that you just haven’t found something to be motivated about yet. Everybody is motivated. People just don’t see value in their passions ie. skateboarding, dancing, baking pies.

I promise if you view it even slightly entrepreneurially, you’ll find a way to make money. You just have to own it. Make it your beautiful obsession instead of wasting precious time.

 

Mistake #4: Proactively avoiding the important work

STOP THINKING. Overthinking is death. It’s like hot lava. If you touch the lava, you die. What other ways do you cleverly avoid work? Do you take hour-long breaks? Check email 10x a day? Facebook? Watch viral videos? Stop it and just do the important stuff. That’s the secret to productivity.

“Emotional intelligence is a much stronger predictor of who will be the most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #5: Neglecting your health, integrity and relationships

I sleep for 4 hours a night sometimes. When income wasn’t great, I’d eat ramen noodles and survive off of $1/day. I wouldn’t shower so that I could focus more on getting clients (online). And sometimes, I wouldn’t keep my word to others. I broke my integrity.

But listen… If you’re always a day late and a dollar short, get angry and frustrated when bad things happen, if you think family gets in the way, you start to create a host of negative beliefs that I can’t even begin to list. That’s an entire blog post on its own. My aunt, a famous jazz singer, was like this and gave herself cancer. She sat me down and told me how she cured it: she became happy.

She knows that I’m a loving, open person, but I’d become angry and negative. Shortly after I became sick. It scared the crap out of me, so I decided to perk up and drink more water. It wasn’t 100% the cause of my sickness, but it didn’t help. And in the end, I’d rather be happy and successful instead of a miserable success.

 

Mistake #6: Numbing yourself to problems

I’m good at turning off my emotions. Some people eat their problems away. Some people drink, smoke, do drugs, watch TV, whatever. I implore you to experience your emotions.

Emotional intelligence is the #1 underrated tool in business, and nobody knows how to use it. You use it by screaming, crying, being joyful, angry. Fully experience your emotions. Feel it without holding back and it doesn’t get trapped. Your body remembers emotional trauma. Don’t let your body become your cage.

You’re kidding yourself if you think, “I don’t feel emotions” You’re not a robot. I was the robot. Robots feel more deeply than anybody, we just hide it. When you look into people’s eyes, people should see into your heart, not your mind. Empathy creates breakthroughs with people, and that means career success.

 

Mistake #7: Only setting work goals, not life goals

I got this feedback when I was interviewing Guillermo Ulysses (an actor from Grey’s Anatomy) for my podcast. He has 12 degrees from universities, he’s been on TV, in movies, commercials, PSA’s, theatre, and did it in record time. It took him 3 weeks to get an agent. He’s a very smart guy.

He said to me that I couldn’t just focus on being Young Money’s choreographer by June 3, 2016 (I’m a dancer/choreographer by the way) or hitting 1 million views for my dance videos by June 21, 2016 at 11:50 pm. That’s not enough. I need to have other goals. Something with more substance. In his words, “you need to ride an elephant” or “pet a tiger.”

You put these things on a list, you make copies of it, and constantly cross things out. It’ll be in your hallways, doorways, bedroom, mirrors, notebooks, screensaver, on your hands. Literally everywhere you go.

Set goals for every area of your life: health, wealth, love and happiness. When you only have work goals, you get wound too tightly. You know you’re in trouble when you don’t have 5 minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee or a weekend to spend with your wife and kids. And when appropriate, relax and go to the beach. Forget the list and just enjoy the day.

 

Mistake #8: Spending too much time in your brain and your body

You might’ve guessed by now, but I’m a big advocate of emotional intelligence. It helps you stop kidding yourself, be genuine towards others, and be a strong leader.

Sense things in others; pause, reflect, acknowledge what they said, and respond appropriately. I’ve seen people yell and push agendas. They don’t last very long. People hate them.

You’ll actually know when you want to do something. The person who makes frequent decisions and takes too long to make them ends up losing.

Bruce Lee

Mistake #9: Using willpower in unnecessary situations

When people use their willpower, it’s to resist chocolate instead of eating a carrot. They waste their limited willpower on what to wear, what to eat, which watch they should buy, or whether they should rearrange the luggage in the trunk before going to the airport.

Yes, they’re important, but they aren’t life-changing decisions. Replace any daily tasks like what to wear or what to eat with habits.

Learn to prioritize larger goals and create habits. You only have a couple drops of willpower every day. Use willpower like spice, not steak. Steak is action. Spice is direction.

 

Mistake #10: Believing you’re unworthy of success

You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m pretty sure 99.999% of the planet has self-esteem issues. It’s just a human tendency. They fear failure, rejection or success. They don’t speak up when they see a child getting hit by their parent because it’s “none of their business.” They don’t take charge in an argument because they don’t believe in themselves as a leader.

They don’t jump off a zipline because they think they’re afraid of heights. Many people won’t even eat healthy because they don’t believe they’ll get skinny. It’s a LIE. You’ve been telling yourself lies for decades. I told myself I wasn’t capable of becoming a dancer. “It’s an impractical career, dancers make no money, I’m not a good enough dancer, there are no dance agents in my city, I have no money for lessons, I don’t have a good enough camera, I have to buy editing software.” Blah blah blah. Full of excuses.

Now I’m sponsored by Cadillac, I’ve been in music videos, toured all over Canada and living in Los Angeles. It took me one month. Now I get to build my brand. Listen… If you’re not successful, it’s not because you don’t want success, it’s because you’re telling yourself lies. If you’re unhappy with your career, it’s because you abandoned your dreams.

Your “long shot”, your destiny, your dreams… Suppressed by lies. If you’re suffering, then rescue yourself. You deserve it. Hiding will do you no good. You are the one person you can’t hide from; at the end of the day, you know if you did the right thing.

 

Mistake #11: Being glued to your smartphone

I know, I know, you’re hustling. Or playing games. Or Instagramming. Maybe it’s advancing your career, maybe it’s not, but the larger point I’m trying to make is that you’re disconnecting and numbing yourself. Being in front of screens gradually robs you of your humanity if you aren’t careful.

Most people don’t talk to anybody. They just sit in their chairs, hide behind their laptops, and eat with their phones in one hand while sloppily eating their spinach steak salad. When I’ve been the most successful in life it’s been when I was out every single day for 30 minutes just trying to talk to people.

Do I do this because I’m an extrovert and love to be around people? Well, that helps, but it’s not the point I’m trying to make. What I’m talking about is bigger, I’m surprised that nobody talks about it. When you aren’t glued to your phone, you aren’t hiding from anybody. You’re forced to be in the present and  to look people in the eyes. People feel you.

You wanna make an impact? You wanna make a million dollars? Start with looking people in the eyes. Look at yourself in the eyes. Smile when you talk. No crossed arms or blank stares. Just pure joy. Presence.

 

Now, go out and earn yourself a good life filled with lots of money, friends and banana daiquiris. You deserve it!

Kris Roxas is a writer, dancer and media personality. He has worked with Android and Toyota to develop marketing campaigns and is currently sponsored by Cadillac as a dancer. After suffering a brain hemorrhage, Kris re-taught himself how to walk, read, speak without a lisp and think clearly. He now shows no signs of brain trauma and has made it his mission to help others become overachievers and build self-confidence. You can find him at his website krisroxas.com or on Twitter @krisroxas.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
    I truly like your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to
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  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

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    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

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  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

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Success Advice

It’s Not How Smart You Are That Defines Your Career — It’s This

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Image Credit: Unsplash

Look around the office you work in. Some people are managers. Some people make six-figure salaries. Some people are senior executives. Some people work in customer service on the frontline.

It’s a big mistake to think that where you are in your career has something to do with how smart you are.

I’ve met many smart people who crash and burn in their careers because they have to be always right or they overthink, or they know a lot about the wrong things or they have very low emotional intelligence causing them to upset many people at the same time.

If being smart made us successful then we’d all go and consume endless information and become millionaires shortly after.

Being smart is not enough.

So what does define your career and the success you have?


1. How badly you want it

The woman/man that became CEO wanted it more.

The person with the 7-figure business wanted it more.

The woman that won an Olympic Gold Medal wanted it more.

You have to want your goals really, really, really bad.

Wanting something so badly that you’re prepared to do anything to get there (ethically) is how you get the energy to overcome the rejection and failure it’s going to take to get reach that point.

I wanted to share my story and inspire people with it very badly. I thought of creating a WordPress website, but I had no idea how to and had zero technical skill. My knowledge of how to market that website was also zero.
I tried creating a Facebook Page and to date, it still has less than 3000 followers which means I fall short by a lot in terms of my target to inspire millions of people.

I tried using Twitter and reaching people that way. I was never able to get any real engagement. I’d tweet Elon Musk. I’d message Tony Robbins. I’d write the best tweet humanly possible. It all led nowhere.

I tried using a blogging platform called Medium. I was able to build a small following, but most people in my area of the world don’t use it. I still came up short of my goal.

Then, I tried writing on a blog that already had lots of viewers called Addicted2Success and began posting on LinkedIn daily.

Everything changed. I wanted to inspire people so badly that I kept trying until I found a platform that worked for what I had to say. Wanting it badly enough was what helped me keep going from 2014 until now. It didn’t stop there, though.

When my career took a turn down a black hole, my motivation died. Suddenly, writing on Addicted2Success and LinkedIn became hard. I didn’t want it as bad because the pain caused by my work life was too much. I let things slip temporarily for about 3 weeks. Engagement went to an all-time low.

It didn’t last long, though. Why? My thinking changed when I reminded myself how upset I would be if I didn’t achieve my goal. It meant far too much and in the back of my mind, I still wanted it badly.

I went back over all the emails from people I’d helped and that spark came back. Deep down, I still wanted it badly. I still wanted to inspire millions of people.

Wanting it bad was what helped me to revive my blogging career and continue helping millions of people.

Wanting it badly will define your career.


2. What you think is possible

I met a guy earlier in the year that came from a farm in the middle of Outback Australia.

He’d sold his digital marketing business for a lot of money and banked a huge amount of coin as a result. He had no tech background. He had no business knowledge. He didn’t have seven-figure friends that drove Bentley’s.

What he had was an uncanny ability to think anything was possible. He saw himself rising above his circumstances even though he had no evidence to prove that he could do so. He worked long hours and built up a team of cult followers. They learned together how to get businesses exposure through social media and search engines.

For many of the people on his team, it was their first job. He didn’t pay them well because he couldn’t. All he thought was that one day, together, they’d do something incredible — and they did.

A lot of what happens in your career is based on how you think. If you think you can never be a manager, entrepreneur or executive, then you won’t be.

If you think you can be good at public speaking, you might.
If you think you can hit your sales target, you might.
If you think you can start a successful business, you might.
If you’re not successful right now, you will be.

It’s only a matter of time until one of the bets in your career pays off

It’s a combination of being ready, being humble, thinking right and having the skills to execute. Not thinking you can achieve big will rob you of whatever it is that you want in your career.

I shouldn’t be a successful blogger because I can’t write that well, I have bad spelling/grammar skills, I don’t own a blog and I’m not filthy rich. Despite all that I’ve achieved my blogging goal.

I saw my goal become possible before anybody else did.

I told myself that every major challenge was necessary for me to eventually get what I wanted. I thought my goal was possible even though all the facts suggested it wasn’t. Instead of relying on data I relied on my own mind to lead me down the right path.

I chose to believe when no one else did.

This very way of thinking is not unique to me. Many of the leaders around the world that shape the human race think in the same way.

What you think is possible in your career will define what goals you can achieve.

Your thinking defines your career.
Being smart isn’t enough.

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Success Advice

How to Create Your Own Version of Success

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Success is in the eye of the beholder. And because every human being sees life and all the things that come with it through their lens of experience, everyone’s individual idea of life, growth and success is defined by what they see, hear, think, feel and taste. This means that you have the power to determine what success means to you.

Many of the greatest thought-leaders, business people and influencers throughout history have provided their thoughts and opinions about success –  how to achieve it, how to manage it and how to be it. They’ve written books that are supposed to share with the world how success is merely a feeling and a wish. While many of the most successful people have warned that success is what you make of it, society has coined “success” as being wealthy, influential, famous, and lavish.

You may be thinking, “I’m not rich, but I’m well off,” or “I’m not a social media influencer, so I don’t have much clout.” But here is the truth: You, just the way you are, are already a success. Here’s why. Think of all the things that have happened in your life – the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. Up until this very moment, you have made a series of choices that have shaped your reality.

Therefore, you have created the life you have, and you have set the terms of how you decide to live your life. Not to suggest that your life is perfect because no ones life is exactly as they want it, but the fact that you have created your reality shows that you are a creator. It also shows that you are in charge of creating the success you desire.

“Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” – Bo Bennett

Even if you feel like you should be so much further along than you are today, you still made it to today and that’s a good thing. If you are reading this feeling like you need to shift things around in your life so that you can feel like a success, try these three things below.

  1. Jot down all the words that you think of when you read the word “success,” and mark the words that align with who you are. Ask yourself what you believe you need to feel like a success. Only write down what resonates with you, not what you think people expect of you. Remember, that you are defining your journey, so you get to make up all the rules.
  2. Now, write down all the words you think about when you read the word “unsuccessful,” and mark all the words that may describe some aspect of you that you want to eliminate. Don’t just consider the big stuff, small stuff matters too! Procrastinating to get out of bed in the morning, drinking too much soda, or even spending too much time watching television are all examples of habits that could in some way affect your personal growth.
  3. Lastly, create an SAP (Success Attack Plan) to align yourself with more of the descriptive words that you associate with success and start to eliminate the characteristics you may possess that depict you as less than who you desire to be.

Your Success Attack Plan doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can start with an actionable idea as simple as, “Read one book this month about personal development,” or “Connect with someone who can mentor me.” Sometimes, you have to look to those who have been where you are to help you get where you desire to be. Just remember, your journey won’t look like theirs so pay attention to your inner being at all times and do what feels natural and right to your situation.

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting.” – Buddha

When you create your lists, be as imaginative as possible. Consider those people, places and things around you. Think about what you like and don’t like. Ponder on energy you want to attract that you do not already have and things you want to repel.

Don’t worry about setting a timeline for this. Creating a vision for your life starts with setting an intention at this moment and allowing that intention to lead you in the days to come. To see yourself five years from now, you have to do the things today that will help you get to the future.

Don’t allow others to tell you what you should aspire to be when it comes to success. You are in command, and you are in charge of your present and your future. Own it, own your success and own you.

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Success Advice

What It Really Means to Be a High Achiever in a Culture of Lazy

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Keeping employees interested in their work has been an increasingly difficult challenge for today’s employers. Whether it’s due to a generational shift of Millennials fully entering the workforce or an increasingly distracted society across the board, the vast majority of American workers are not passionate about their work.

This dispassionate workforce is causing large-scale problems, for both workers and the companies that employ them. When young people become immersed in cultural laziness, it can be hard to become a high achiever, but there is a path for those willing to do what it takes to be a top performer, and it’s simpler than you might think.

Laziness by the Numbers

According to a recent Gallup poll, nearly two-thirds of American workers are either unengaged or actively disengaged in their job. This leaves only a third of Americans who are actively engaged and passionate about their work. This lack of interest has enormous financial ramifications for companies due to all of this lost productivity.

Research from McLean & Company, estimates that a disengaged employee costs a company $3,400 out of every $10,000 in annual salary, or 34% of their wages. That means a disengaged employee who earns $75,000 costs their organization $25,500 per year due to a lack of productivity. If roughly two-thirds of workers are disengaged, this adds up to billions of dollars lost across the economy.

“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” – Khalil Gibran

Motivation: Whose Job is it Anyway?

There are two schools of thought when it comes to employee motivation: Either managers need to actively motivate their employees, or employees need to step their game up and figure out what they actually like doing. Stefan Aarnio, a highly successful real estate investor, author, coach, and speaker, falls squarely into the second camp. He attributes his company’s success to the culture of high accountability and high performance he cultivated over the years.

It all began with Aarnio honing his own intrinsic motivation over the years by discovering, and then doing, exactly what he loves to do. In Aarnio’s own words, “you don’t need the resistance of waking up every day and doing things that you hate doing, life is too short for that”, and he expects those he hires to follow the same logic. When you love what you do, you don’t need a manager to constantly poke and prod you to gin up some motivation, however fleeting it might be.

It may seem like common advice that only works for the wealthy, but doing what you love really is the simple solution to the scores of dispassionate workers plaguing the workforce of today. People are trained to believe that they should get the highest paying job they can get regardless of how it makes them feel.

“You don’t build a business, you build people, and then people build the business.” – Zig Ziglar

Aarnio believes this is shortsighted and will ultimately lead to a sad and dispassionate life. By being attuned to what makes him passionate, and expecting the same from his employees, Aarnio has been able to flip the script and develop a culture of passion and high achievement.

How do you motivate your team to want to show up every single day? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

How To Improve Yourself In The Next 6 Months With Very Little Effort.

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Sounds like a huge claim doesn’t it? That Tim Denning Self-Help idiot is at it again isn’t he?

Wrong. Improving yourself in 6 months so that you can achieve all your big goals is easier than you think. A word of warning though, the advice is brutal but effective at the same time.

I’ve recently gone through this process myself and it’s changed everything in my life. My top four fears before the 6 month challenge were the following:

  1. Career change
  2. Getting married/kids
  3. Becoming a people leader
  4. Health issues

I overcame these fears by working on myself for the last six months.

Here are the steps I took:


Confront your fears head-on.

I’ve just told you my top four fears and you probably have your own list.

Unless you are honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears in writing, you’ll never conquer these invincible demons.

Harden up. Acknowledge your fears.

My top four fears were something I avoided for years. I was embarrassed to share them and even talk about them. I thought they’d magically take care of themselves.

I thought the fairies would come through my window at night and whisper in my ear the answer to my biggest fears. I was wrong”

Writing down my top fears and then writing down how each of them was ridiculous and full of false evidence is how I freed myself from them.

I conquered each one head on. You can do the same and you must if you want to improve in the next six months.


Stop giving a damn.

This next one is tightly linked to the first point. You can’t confront your fears or make progress unless you stop giving a damn.

Holding on to your BS stories and ways of doing things in the past is screwing everything up for you.

As of tomorrow, stop giving a damn.

Don’t waste any of your energy caring about useless things like what could happen if you make changes in your life, or sell your car, or make a bold move.

Before making a few changes in the last six months, I gave a damn about too many little things. Things that just don’t matter like what my family thought of my girlfriend or where I lived. It just didn’t matter.

When I gave in to my stupidly, insane, stubborn ways of the past and did what I knew I had to do, things got easier. I could go about my day without caring about so many small things that had previously distracted me from my dream of inspiring the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

You can have the same beautiful realization as me if you stop giving a damn about all the small things.


Reduce everything.

The major improvements in your life will come from taking stuff away not adding more into your life.

Reduce Netflix time.
Reduce your belongings down by at least 25%.
Reduce your expenses by cutting off things you don’t need or that don’t serve your primary goals.

All of us have too much of everything and it’s sucking up the time we need to improve ourselves.

You can’t truly turn your life around unless you commit to focusing big chunks of time on just a few commitments.


Select one thing you’re going to achieve.

Not ten goals. Not twenty-five. One.

For the last six months my one goal has been to double down on my blogging. No more podcasts, speaking opportunities or coffee catchups I feel I must do. I took one goal, and I did it every single day — including my recent holiday to Europe where I posted something daily that could inspire people.

Even if I was on the train going between Rome and Florence, my daily habit was achieved no matter what. It was easy to remember because I’ve only committed to achieving one thing.

The power of doing one thing that matters the most to you will give you the fastest transformation and sense of fulfillment.

The challenge is to discover what that one thing is going to be for yourself.


Commit to discipline.

Fat? Stop eating sugar and exercise.

Smoke too much? Quit.

Bored of your job? Get a new career.

Friends dragging you down? Divorce them.

Nothing in your life will change in the next six months unless you commit to discipline and follow through with action. Everything you need to improve in the next six months is pretty straight-forward.

To make progress requires discipline. Not discipline for five out of seven days a week but every day. Not “I’ll eat clean during the week and then binge on the weekend.”

Discipline is taking the action which you know is good for you and not being tempted to shy away from that. After being disciplined for 6 months, you’ll find it hard to go back. The hard part is creating the habit.


Read a lot.

Many of the answers you need to improve yourself will come from reading books not watching what the Kardashians had for dinner last night.

Aim to read a few books a month on problems you want to solve.

If you’re trying to build a company, then read The Lean Startup.

If you need brilliant mentor advice, then read Tribe Of Mentors.

If you need a radical transformation, then read Unlimited Power or Think And Grow Rich.

Each person has their own challenges and the answers can be learned through someone else’s experience. Someone else has gone through what you’re going through — read about the solution, then radically implement it.


Get your phone, turn off all notifications except SMS and incoming calls.

This was a big one for me. My phone had taken over my life and I had no blank space to think.

“I deleted Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, WeChat and Slack”

Damn, it felt good.

Life is effortless when you’re in control and that will come from being insanely focused on the tasks you need to execute on.


Come up with a why for your entire life.

Now to be fully transparent I had this one in the bag over a year ago, but during the last six months, it was the pillar of everything else I did.

Unless you know why you need to change and why you exist, it’s hard to achieve anything. Whenever I look at my to-do list, I sort it by the tasks that are linked to my why above everything else.

This makes managing my calendar simple. I ask myself this question: “Does the request of my time support my why?”

You can ask yourself the same question once you know the why for your entire life. This why will evolve over time, so my recommendation would be to start somewhere. Don’t overthink your why in the beginning.


Have one life-changing moment.

Radical change (especially in the next 6 months) usually needs a defining moment. These moments can come from life naturally, but the trouble is it could take years. I chose to manufacture my one life-changing moment.

I attended an immersive event that was about lifestyle design. During that process, there was so much emotion linked to what I uncovered that I had several breakthroughs.

Putting aside time to work out what you’re going to do and to reflect on the past is how you find your one defining moment.

If you want a few suggestions of events that might trigger a life-changing moment for you than send me a note and I’m happy to tell you a few I’ve attended.


Invest some money in your future.

Most of us (including me) typically only save for the present or the near present financial goals we have.

Investing for the future is how you set yourself up to win. I chose three buckets to put my money in:

  1. A long-term index fund (5+ years until any withdrawal)
  2. Personal development courses and events
  3. Books from Amazon

By having a plan for the future, I’m setting myself up to win. Even if you don’t have a lot of money, you can still set up a few similar buckets and start filling them up right now.

Within 6 months, you’ll have more invested in your future than you thought was possible.


Make a stand and forget what people think of you.

Maybe people don’t like the way you dress. Screw them.
Maybe people think your dream career is stupid. Screw them.
Maybe people will think your poor based on your current financial situation.

Take their opinion and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

It’s time to make a stand and stop letting what everyone thinks of you and your goals hold you back. People that have time to judge you probably suck at their own goals. Remember that.

The fastest way to go nowhere in the next six months is to sit there daydreaming about what every person you know might think of you. You don’t need permission”

In fact, you don’t need endless advice either.

Most advice is biased and most people are not you, don’t understand you and have no idea how you feel. So with that freeing thought right there, go out and make the next six months the period of your life that defines you.

Take my last six months and use them as inspiration for your next six months.
You can improve yourself and do so with very little effort.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through. (more…)

Mo Saleem is an independent men’s health researcher and publisher of TripleYourT.com. Having overcome the symptoms of depression, chronic fatigue, and a lack of drive, his mission is to empower men with the strategies and tactics to live with more energy, purpose, and power. Use the FREE T-Analysis Tool to figure out if your testosterone level is where it should be.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
    I truly like your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to
    my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look
    at my website too and tell me how you feel.

  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

  4. rental property

    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I am now not sure where you are getting your information, however great topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I used to be on the
    lookout for this info for my mission.

  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

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Success Advice

It’s Not How Smart You Are That Defines Your Career — It’s This

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Look around the office you work in. Some people are managers. Some people make six-figure salaries. Some people are senior executives. Some people work in customer service on the frontline.

It’s a big mistake to think that where you are in your career has something to do with how smart you are.

I’ve met many smart people who crash and burn in their careers because they have to be always right or they overthink, or they know a lot about the wrong things or they have very low emotional intelligence causing them to upset many people at the same time.

If being smart made us successful then we’d all go and consume endless information and become millionaires shortly after.

Being smart is not enough.

So what does define your career and the success you have?


1. How badly you want it

The woman/man that became CEO wanted it more.

The person with the 7-figure business wanted it more.

The woman that won an Olympic Gold Medal wanted it more.

You have to want your goals really, really, really bad.

Wanting something so badly that you’re prepared to do anything to get there (ethically) is how you get the energy to overcome the rejection and failure it’s going to take to get reach that point.

I wanted to share my story and inspire people with it very badly. I thought of creating a WordPress website, but I had no idea how to and had zero technical skill. My knowledge of how to market that website was also zero.
I tried creating a Facebook Page and to date, it still has less than 3000 followers which means I fall short by a lot in terms of my target to inspire millions of people.

I tried using Twitter and reaching people that way. I was never able to get any real engagement. I’d tweet Elon Musk. I’d message Tony Robbins. I’d write the best tweet humanly possible. It all led nowhere.

I tried using a blogging platform called Medium. I was able to build a small following, but most people in my area of the world don’t use it. I still came up short of my goal.

Then, I tried writing on a blog that already had lots of viewers called Addicted2Success and began posting on LinkedIn daily.

Everything changed. I wanted to inspire people so badly that I kept trying until I found a platform that worked for what I had to say. Wanting it badly enough was what helped me keep going from 2014 until now. It didn’t stop there, though.

When my career took a turn down a black hole, my motivation died. Suddenly, writing on Addicted2Success and LinkedIn became hard. I didn’t want it as bad because the pain caused by my work life was too much. I let things slip temporarily for about 3 weeks. Engagement went to an all-time low.

It didn’t last long, though. Why? My thinking changed when I reminded myself how upset I would be if I didn’t achieve my goal. It meant far too much and in the back of my mind, I still wanted it badly.

I went back over all the emails from people I’d helped and that spark came back. Deep down, I still wanted it badly. I still wanted to inspire millions of people.

Wanting it bad was what helped me to revive my blogging career and continue helping millions of people.

Wanting it badly will define your career.


2. What you think is possible

I met a guy earlier in the year that came from a farm in the middle of Outback Australia.

He’d sold his digital marketing business for a lot of money and banked a huge amount of coin as a result. He had no tech background. He had no business knowledge. He didn’t have seven-figure friends that drove Bentley’s.

What he had was an uncanny ability to think anything was possible. He saw himself rising above his circumstances even though he had no evidence to prove that he could do so. He worked long hours and built up a team of cult followers. They learned together how to get businesses exposure through social media and search engines.

For many of the people on his team, it was their first job. He didn’t pay them well because he couldn’t. All he thought was that one day, together, they’d do something incredible — and they did.

A lot of what happens in your career is based on how you think. If you think you can never be a manager, entrepreneur or executive, then you won’t be.

If you think you can be good at public speaking, you might.
If you think you can hit your sales target, you might.
If you think you can start a successful business, you might.
If you’re not successful right now, you will be.

It’s only a matter of time until one of the bets in your career pays off

It’s a combination of being ready, being humble, thinking right and having the skills to execute. Not thinking you can achieve big will rob you of whatever it is that you want in your career.

I shouldn’t be a successful blogger because I can’t write that well, I have bad spelling/grammar skills, I don’t own a blog and I’m not filthy rich. Despite all that I’ve achieved my blogging goal.

I saw my goal become possible before anybody else did.

I told myself that every major challenge was necessary for me to eventually get what I wanted. I thought my goal was possible even though all the facts suggested it wasn’t. Instead of relying on data I relied on my own mind to lead me down the right path.

I chose to believe when no one else did.

This very way of thinking is not unique to me. Many of the leaders around the world that shape the human race think in the same way.

What you think is possible in your career will define what goals you can achieve.

Your thinking defines your career.
Being smart isn’t enough.

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Success Advice

How to Create Your Own Version of Success

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Success is in the eye of the beholder. And because every human being sees life and all the things that come with it through their lens of experience, everyone’s individual idea of life, growth and success is defined by what they see, hear, think, feel and taste. This means that you have the power to determine what success means to you.

Many of the greatest thought-leaders, business people and influencers throughout history have provided their thoughts and opinions about success –  how to achieve it, how to manage it and how to be it. They’ve written books that are supposed to share with the world how success is merely a feeling and a wish. While many of the most successful people have warned that success is what you make of it, society has coined “success” as being wealthy, influential, famous, and lavish.

You may be thinking, “I’m not rich, but I’m well off,” or “I’m not a social media influencer, so I don’t have much clout.” But here is the truth: You, just the way you are, are already a success. Here’s why. Think of all the things that have happened in your life – the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. Up until this very moment, you have made a series of choices that have shaped your reality.

Therefore, you have created the life you have, and you have set the terms of how you decide to live your life. Not to suggest that your life is perfect because no ones life is exactly as they want it, but the fact that you have created your reality shows that you are a creator. It also shows that you are in charge of creating the success you desire.

“Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” – Bo Bennett

Even if you feel like you should be so much further along than you are today, you still made it to today and that’s a good thing. If you are reading this feeling like you need to shift things around in your life so that you can feel like a success, try these three things below.

  1. Jot down all the words that you think of when you read the word “success,” and mark the words that align with who you are. Ask yourself what you believe you need to feel like a success. Only write down what resonates with you, not what you think people expect of you. Remember, that you are defining your journey, so you get to make up all the rules.
  2. Now, write down all the words you think about when you read the word “unsuccessful,” and mark all the words that may describe some aspect of you that you want to eliminate. Don’t just consider the big stuff, small stuff matters too! Procrastinating to get out of bed in the morning, drinking too much soda, or even spending too much time watching television are all examples of habits that could in some way affect your personal growth.
  3. Lastly, create an SAP (Success Attack Plan) to align yourself with more of the descriptive words that you associate with success and start to eliminate the characteristics you may possess that depict you as less than who you desire to be.

Your Success Attack Plan doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can start with an actionable idea as simple as, “Read one book this month about personal development,” or “Connect with someone who can mentor me.” Sometimes, you have to look to those who have been where you are to help you get where you desire to be. Just remember, your journey won’t look like theirs so pay attention to your inner being at all times and do what feels natural and right to your situation.

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting.” – Buddha

When you create your lists, be as imaginative as possible. Consider those people, places and things around you. Think about what you like and don’t like. Ponder on energy you want to attract that you do not already have and things you want to repel.

Don’t worry about setting a timeline for this. Creating a vision for your life starts with setting an intention at this moment and allowing that intention to lead you in the days to come. To see yourself five years from now, you have to do the things today that will help you get to the future.

Don’t allow others to tell you what you should aspire to be when it comes to success. You are in command, and you are in charge of your present and your future. Own it, own your success and own you.

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Success Advice

What It Really Means to Be a High Achiever in a Culture of Lazy

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Keeping employees interested in their work has been an increasingly difficult challenge for today’s employers. Whether it’s due to a generational shift of Millennials fully entering the workforce or an increasingly distracted society across the board, the vast majority of American workers are not passionate about their work.

This dispassionate workforce is causing large-scale problems, for both workers and the companies that employ them. When young people become immersed in cultural laziness, it can be hard to become a high achiever, but there is a path for those willing to do what it takes to be a top performer, and it’s simpler than you might think.

Laziness by the Numbers

According to a recent Gallup poll, nearly two-thirds of American workers are either unengaged or actively disengaged in their job. This leaves only a third of Americans who are actively engaged and passionate about their work. This lack of interest has enormous financial ramifications for companies due to all of this lost productivity.

Research from McLean & Company, estimates that a disengaged employee costs a company $3,400 out of every $10,000 in annual salary, or 34% of their wages. That means a disengaged employee who earns $75,000 costs their organization $25,500 per year due to a lack of productivity. If roughly two-thirds of workers are disengaged, this adds up to billions of dollars lost across the economy.

“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” – Khalil Gibran

Motivation: Whose Job is it Anyway?

There are two schools of thought when it comes to employee motivation: Either managers need to actively motivate their employees, or employees need to step their game up and figure out what they actually like doing. Stefan Aarnio, a highly successful real estate investor, author, coach, and speaker, falls squarely into the second camp. He attributes his company’s success to the culture of high accountability and high performance he cultivated over the years.

It all began with Aarnio honing his own intrinsic motivation over the years by discovering, and then doing, exactly what he loves to do. In Aarnio’s own words, “you don’t need the resistance of waking up every day and doing things that you hate doing, life is too short for that”, and he expects those he hires to follow the same logic. When you love what you do, you don’t need a manager to constantly poke and prod you to gin up some motivation, however fleeting it might be.

It may seem like common advice that only works for the wealthy, but doing what you love really is the simple solution to the scores of dispassionate workers plaguing the workforce of today. People are trained to believe that they should get the highest paying job they can get regardless of how it makes them feel.

“You don’t build a business, you build people, and then people build the business.” – Zig Ziglar

Aarnio believes this is shortsighted and will ultimately lead to a sad and dispassionate life. By being attuned to what makes him passionate, and expecting the same from his employees, Aarnio has been able to flip the script and develop a culture of passion and high achievement.

How do you motivate your team to want to show up every single day? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

How To Improve Yourself In The Next 6 Months With Very Little Effort.

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Sounds like a huge claim doesn’t it? That Tim Denning Self-Help idiot is at it again isn’t he?

Wrong. Improving yourself in 6 months so that you can achieve all your big goals is easier than you think. A word of warning though, the advice is brutal but effective at the same time.

I’ve recently gone through this process myself and it’s changed everything in my life. My top four fears before the 6 month challenge were the following:

  1. Career change
  2. Getting married/kids
  3. Becoming a people leader
  4. Health issues

I overcame these fears by working on myself for the last six months.

Here are the steps I took:


Confront your fears head-on.

I’ve just told you my top four fears and you probably have your own list.

Unless you are honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears in writing, you’ll never conquer these invincible demons.

Harden up. Acknowledge your fears.

My top four fears were something I avoided for years. I was embarrassed to share them and even talk about them. I thought they’d magically take care of themselves.

I thought the fairies would come through my window at night and whisper in my ear the answer to my biggest fears. I was wrong”

Writing down my top fears and then writing down how each of them was ridiculous and full of false evidence is how I freed myself from them.

I conquered each one head on. You can do the same and you must if you want to improve in the next six months.


Stop giving a damn.

This next one is tightly linked to the first point. You can’t confront your fears or make progress unless you stop giving a damn.

Holding on to your BS stories and ways of doing things in the past is screwing everything up for you.

As of tomorrow, stop giving a damn.

Don’t waste any of your energy caring about useless things like what could happen if you make changes in your life, or sell your car, or make a bold move.

Before making a few changes in the last six months, I gave a damn about too many little things. Things that just don’t matter like what my family thought of my girlfriend or where I lived. It just didn’t matter.

When I gave in to my stupidly, insane, stubborn ways of the past and did what I knew I had to do, things got easier. I could go about my day without caring about so many small things that had previously distracted me from my dream of inspiring the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

You can have the same beautiful realization as me if you stop giving a damn about all the small things.


Reduce everything.

The major improvements in your life will come from taking stuff away not adding more into your life.

Reduce Netflix time.
Reduce your belongings down by at least 25%.
Reduce your expenses by cutting off things you don’t need or that don’t serve your primary goals.

All of us have too much of everything and it’s sucking up the time we need to improve ourselves.

You can’t truly turn your life around unless you commit to focusing big chunks of time on just a few commitments.


Select one thing you’re going to achieve.

Not ten goals. Not twenty-five. One.

For the last six months my one goal has been to double down on my blogging. No more podcasts, speaking opportunities or coffee catchups I feel I must do. I took one goal, and I did it every single day — including my recent holiday to Europe where I posted something daily that could inspire people.

Even if I was on the train going between Rome and Florence, my daily habit was achieved no matter what. It was easy to remember because I’ve only committed to achieving one thing.

The power of doing one thing that matters the most to you will give you the fastest transformation and sense of fulfillment.

The challenge is to discover what that one thing is going to be for yourself.


Commit to discipline.

Fat? Stop eating sugar and exercise.

Smoke too much? Quit.

Bored of your job? Get a new career.

Friends dragging you down? Divorce them.

Nothing in your life will change in the next six months unless you commit to discipline and follow through with action. Everything you need to improve in the next six months is pretty straight-forward.

To make progress requires discipline. Not discipline for five out of seven days a week but every day. Not “I’ll eat clean during the week and then binge on the weekend.”

Discipline is taking the action which you know is good for you and not being tempted to shy away from that. After being disciplined for 6 months, you’ll find it hard to go back. The hard part is creating the habit.


Read a lot.

Many of the answers you need to improve yourself will come from reading books not watching what the Kardashians had for dinner last night.

Aim to read a few books a month on problems you want to solve.

If you’re trying to build a company, then read The Lean Startup.

If you need brilliant mentor advice, then read Tribe Of Mentors.

If you need a radical transformation, then read Unlimited Power or Think And Grow Rich.

Each person has their own challenges and the answers can be learned through someone else’s experience. Someone else has gone through what you’re going through — read about the solution, then radically implement it.


Get your phone, turn off all notifications except SMS and incoming calls.

This was a big one for me. My phone had taken over my life and I had no blank space to think.

“I deleted Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, WeChat and Slack”

Damn, it felt good.

Life is effortless when you’re in control and that will come from being insanely focused on the tasks you need to execute on.


Come up with a why for your entire life.

Now to be fully transparent I had this one in the bag over a year ago, but during the last six months, it was the pillar of everything else I did.

Unless you know why you need to change and why you exist, it’s hard to achieve anything. Whenever I look at my to-do list, I sort it by the tasks that are linked to my why above everything else.

This makes managing my calendar simple. I ask myself this question: “Does the request of my time support my why?”

You can ask yourself the same question once you know the why for your entire life. This why will evolve over time, so my recommendation would be to start somewhere. Don’t overthink your why in the beginning.


Have one life-changing moment.

Radical change (especially in the next 6 months) usually needs a defining moment. These moments can come from life naturally, but the trouble is it could take years. I chose to manufacture my one life-changing moment.

I attended an immersive event that was about lifestyle design. During that process, there was so much emotion linked to what I uncovered that I had several breakthroughs.

Putting aside time to work out what you’re going to do and to reflect on the past is how you find your one defining moment.

If you want a few suggestions of events that might trigger a life-changing moment for you than send me a note and I’m happy to tell you a few I’ve attended.


Invest some money in your future.

Most of us (including me) typically only save for the present or the near present financial goals we have.

Investing for the future is how you set yourself up to win. I chose three buckets to put my money in:

  1. A long-term index fund (5+ years until any withdrawal)
  2. Personal development courses and events
  3. Books from Amazon

By having a plan for the future, I’m setting myself up to win. Even if you don’t have a lot of money, you can still set up a few similar buckets and start filling them up right now.

Within 6 months, you’ll have more invested in your future than you thought was possible.


Make a stand and forget what people think of you.

Maybe people don’t like the way you dress. Screw them.
Maybe people think your dream career is stupid. Screw them.
Maybe people will think your poor based on your current financial situation.

Take their opinion and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

It’s time to make a stand and stop letting what everyone thinks of you and your goals hold you back. People that have time to judge you probably suck at their own goals. Remember that.

The fastest way to go nowhere in the next six months is to sit there daydreaming about what every person you know might think of you. You don’t need permission”

In fact, you don’t need endless advice either.

Most advice is biased and most people are not you, don’t understand you and have no idea how you feel. So with that freeing thought right there, go out and make the next six months the period of your life that defines you.

Take my last six months and use them as inspiration for your next six months.
You can improve yourself and do so with very little effort.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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