Connect with us

Success Advice

11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

Published

on

11 Career Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making

Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat wondering what you’re going to do with your life? Desperately wishing you could just abandon your problems and fulfill your life’s ultimate dream?

“Oh, if only life were as simple as it is on TV. I’d be sipping on banana daiquiris in the Bahamas by now!” If only. Banana daiquiris are delicious, but they’re sweeter if well-earned.

Life isn’t cruel or full of contempt. It isn’t this angry, malevolent force. It isn’t on a mission to destroy you before you’ve achieved your dreams. No, life is neutral to our struggles. There are those who proclaim that, “Life is too hard,” or that, “It’s unfair,” or that, “I’m better than them, they’re just…” Which is really just code for, “I don’t know how to win yet, so I’m going to blame it on something.” Excuses.

You aren’t born to make excuses. You’re born to make your dreams come true. That’s what your parents intended for you. That’s what you should intend for yourself.

In the next 11 points, I’m going to show you the most defeating lies, mistakes and excuses that we all make and how you can avoid them. Grab a drink and let’s continue.

Here are the 11 career mistakes you didn’t know you were making:

 

Mistake #1: Always focusing on the plans and never on the people

This is almost the “anti-roadmap” for self-proclaimed introverts. Being an introvert myself and knowing scores of this type, I promise that you love being around people. All humans (yes, all) have a deep craving for emotional connection, each one of us.

Matt Pocius, my friend and the youngest, highest paid Internet marketing consultant in the world, says to make sales he would be on the phone every single day. That’s the fastest way to make $1,000/day, according to him. If you’re not speaking to people, you’re not selling.

I’ll tell you a secret… If you’re going to make it anywhere, you need friends. Nobody has ever become successful on their own. They always have friends and a team who helped them. That’s a million times better than having “connections.” If all you do is practice, you’ll never make any friends.

“There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional intelligence… They’re controlled by different parts of the brain.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #2: Assuming that all debt is bad debt

I stole this secret from Robert Kiyosaki. He talks about it in real estate. There is good debt and bad debt. good debt gives to you and bad debt takes from you. In real estate a good property will make you money. That’s good debt. But a nasty credit card will lose you money, or at best, leave you at neutral. That’s bad debt.

I’m not expecting you to buy a house, I’m expecting you to buy yourself more time. Everything you do should save you time or give you more. You do this by giving to people. Give until it hurts.

Take a fraction of that value back by just asking for something in return. Borrow from people when you know it’ll help you progress. Stop borrowing just trying to survive.

 

Mistake #3: Dipping your toes in to see if it’s “right” for you

I’ve never understood why people “try” to do things. I’ve always been a very driven, intense individual. I’ve had moments doing this, for sure, but I’ve always had an “all-in” mentality. Instead of “trying” to win, just win.

Winners are OBSESSED with their goals – they don’t sleep, they don’t eat, they barely even blink or else they might miss something. And if something inside you says, “I’m not that motivated,” then let me tell you that you just haven’t found something to be motivated about yet. Everybody is motivated. People just don’t see value in their passions ie. skateboarding, dancing, baking pies.

I promise if you view it even slightly entrepreneurially, you’ll find a way to make money. You just have to own it. Make it your beautiful obsession instead of wasting precious time.

 

Mistake #4: Proactively avoiding the important work

STOP THINKING. Overthinking is death. It’s like hot lava. If you touch the lava, you die. What other ways do you cleverly avoid work? Do you take hour-long breaks? Check email 10x a day? Facebook? Watch viral videos? Stop it and just do the important stuff. That’s the secret to productivity.

“Emotional intelligence is a much stronger predictor of who will be the most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.” – Daniel Goleman

Mistake #5: Neglecting your health, integrity and relationships

I sleep for 4 hours a night sometimes. When income wasn’t great, I’d eat ramen noodles and survive off of $1/day. I wouldn’t shower so that I could focus more on getting clients (online). And sometimes, I wouldn’t keep my word to others. I broke my integrity.

But listen… If you’re always a day late and a dollar short, get angry and frustrated when bad things happen, if you think family gets in the way, you start to create a host of negative beliefs that I can’t even begin to list. That’s an entire blog post on its own. My aunt, a famous jazz singer, was like this and gave herself cancer. She sat me down and told me how she cured it: she became happy.

She knows that I’m a loving, open person, but I’d become angry and negative. Shortly after I became sick. It scared the crap out of me, so I decided to perk up and drink more water. It wasn’t 100% the cause of my sickness, but it didn’t help. And in the end, I’d rather be happy and successful instead of a miserable success.

 

Mistake #6: Numbing yourself to problems

I’m good at turning off my emotions. Some people eat their problems away. Some people drink, smoke, do drugs, watch TV, whatever. I implore you to experience your emotions.

Emotional intelligence is the #1 underrated tool in business, and nobody knows how to use it. You use it by screaming, crying, being joyful, angry. Fully experience your emotions. Feel it without holding back and it doesn’t get trapped. Your body remembers emotional trauma. Don’t let your body become your cage.

You’re kidding yourself if you think, “I don’t feel emotions” You’re not a robot. I was the robot. Robots feel more deeply than anybody, we just hide it. When you look into people’s eyes, people should see into your heart, not your mind. Empathy creates breakthroughs with people, and that means career success.

 

Mistake #7: Only setting work goals, not life goals

I got this feedback when I was interviewing Guillermo Ulysses (an actor from Grey’s Anatomy) for my podcast. He has 12 degrees from universities, he’s been on TV, in movies, commercials, PSA’s, theatre, and did it in record time. It took him 3 weeks to get an agent. He’s a very smart guy.

He said to me that I couldn’t just focus on being Young Money’s choreographer by June 3, 2016 (I’m a dancer/choreographer by the way) or hitting 1 million views for my dance videos by June 21, 2016 at 11:50 pm. That’s not enough. I need to have other goals. Something with more substance. In his words, “you need to ride an elephant” or “pet a tiger.”

You put these things on a list, you make copies of it, and constantly cross things out. It’ll be in your hallways, doorways, bedroom, mirrors, notebooks, screensaver, on your hands. Literally everywhere you go.

Set goals for every area of your life: health, wealth, love and happiness. When you only have work goals, you get wound too tightly. You know you’re in trouble when you don’t have 5 minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee or a weekend to spend with your wife and kids. And when appropriate, relax and go to the beach. Forget the list and just enjoy the day.

 

Mistake #8: Spending too much time in your brain and your body

You might’ve guessed by now, but I’m a big advocate of emotional intelligence. It helps you stop kidding yourself, be genuine towards others, and be a strong leader.

Sense things in others; pause, reflect, acknowledge what they said, and respond appropriately. I’ve seen people yell and push agendas. They don’t last very long. People hate them.

You’ll actually know when you want to do something. The person who makes frequent decisions and takes too long to make them ends up losing.

Bruce Lee

Mistake #9: Using willpower in unnecessary situations

When people use their willpower, it’s to resist chocolate instead of eating a carrot. They waste their limited willpower on what to wear, what to eat, which watch they should buy, or whether they should rearrange the luggage in the trunk before going to the airport.

Yes, they’re important, but they aren’t life-changing decisions. Replace any daily tasks like what to wear or what to eat with habits.

Learn to prioritize larger goals and create habits. You only have a couple drops of willpower every day. Use willpower like spice, not steak. Steak is action. Spice is direction.

 

Mistake #10: Believing you’re unworthy of success

You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m pretty sure 99.999% of the planet has self-esteem issues. It’s just a human tendency. They fear failure, rejection or success. They don’t speak up when they see a child getting hit by their parent because it’s “none of their business.” They don’t take charge in an argument because they don’t believe in themselves as a leader.

They don’t jump off a zipline because they think they’re afraid of heights. Many people won’t even eat healthy because they don’t believe they’ll get skinny. It’s a LIE. You’ve been telling yourself lies for decades. I told myself I wasn’t capable of becoming a dancer. “It’s an impractical career, dancers make no money, I’m not a good enough dancer, there are no dance agents in my city, I have no money for lessons, I don’t have a good enough camera, I have to buy editing software.” Blah blah blah. Full of excuses.

Now I’m sponsored by Cadillac, I’ve been in music videos, toured all over Canada and living in Los Angeles. It took me one month. Now I get to build my brand. Listen… If you’re not successful, it’s not because you don’t want success, it’s because you’re telling yourself lies. If you’re unhappy with your career, it’s because you abandoned your dreams.

Your “long shot”, your destiny, your dreams… Suppressed by lies. If you’re suffering, then rescue yourself. You deserve it. Hiding will do you no good. You are the one person you can’t hide from; at the end of the day, you know if you did the right thing.

 

Mistake #11: Being glued to your smartphone

I know, I know, you’re hustling. Or playing games. Or Instagramming. Maybe it’s advancing your career, maybe it’s not, but the larger point I’m trying to make is that you’re disconnecting and numbing yourself. Being in front of screens gradually robs you of your humanity if you aren’t careful.

Most people don’t talk to anybody. They just sit in their chairs, hide behind their laptops, and eat with their phones in one hand while sloppily eating their spinach steak salad. When I’ve been the most successful in life it’s been when I was out every single day for 30 minutes just trying to talk to people.

Do I do this because I’m an extrovert and love to be around people? Well, that helps, but it’s not the point I’m trying to make. What I’m talking about is bigger, I’m surprised that nobody talks about it. When you aren’t glued to your phone, you aren’t hiding from anybody. You’re forced to be in the present and  to look people in the eyes. People feel you.

You wanna make an impact? You wanna make a million dollars? Start with looking people in the eyes. Look at yourself in the eyes. Smile when you talk. No crossed arms or blank stares. Just pure joy. Presence.

 

Now, go out and earn yourself a good life filled with lots of money, friends and banana daiquiris. You deserve it!

Kris Roxas is a writer, dancer and media personality. He has worked with Android and Toyota to develop marketing campaigns and is currently sponsored by Cadillac as a dancer. After suffering a brain hemorrhage, Kris re-taught himself how to walk, read, speak without a lisp and think clearly. He now shows no signs of brain trauma and has made it his mission to help others become overachievers and build self-confidence. You can find him at his website krisroxas.com or on Twitter @krisroxas.

Continue Reading
Advertisement
22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
    I truly like your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to
    my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look
    at my website too and tell me how you feel.

  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

  4. rental property

    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I am now not sure where you are getting your information, however great topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I used to be on the
    lookout for this info for my mission.

  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

Where Will You Be in 3 Years? How to Strategically Transform Your Life

Published

on

transform your life

Let’s settle the debate once and for all. Which is more important? What you know or who you know? Well, as it turns out, it’s a trick question. The answer: Both.

Progressing in your career or in growing a business is never easy without the right relationships. But, when you finally do get to meet the kind of people who have the power to put you on the fast track to success, you’d better have something to contribute.

By the time we finish college, we’ve spent years and years developing what we know. This knowledge and competence is added upon as we gain on-the-job experience. But, there’s a good chance that you haven’t given nearly as much thought to developing the other side of the equation. Many of us don’t invest sufficient effort to expand who we know. Often, this pattern of behavior persists throughout a person’s entire career.

Don’t Be Random, Be Strategic

We have a tendency to view education very methodically. We plan it out years in advance. Seeing as how that’s only half the battle, shouldn’t we also create a plan to methodically build our network?

Throughout his impressive career, networking expert Keith Ferrazzi has created a method that could change the way you think about developing and nurturing business relationships.

In his bestselling book, Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi writes: ”The tool I use is something I call the Relationship Action Plan. The most simple version of the plan is separated into three distinct parts: The first part is devoted to the development of the goals that will help you fulfill your mission. The second part is devoted to connecting those goals to the people, places, and things that will help you get the job done. And the third part helps you determine the best way to reach out to the people who will help you to accomplish your goals. This means choosing a medium to connect, but, more important, it means finding a way to lead with generosity.”

For many of us, networking refers to an activity during which we:

  • Congregate in large groups of people (many of whom may be unemployed)
  • Spend a few hours engaging in friendly small talk with strangers
  • Exchanging business cards, followed by never speaking to each other again

There are multiple flaws in this method, not the least of which being that it’s far too random. For the most part, you likely have no idea who’s going to be at the next networking event that you plan to attend. You don’t know if the people that you talk to will be in a position to help you achieve your goals.

“Personal relationships are always the key to good business. You can buy networking; you can’t buy friendships.” – Lindsay Fox

Is Research Creepy?

Take time to plan ahead. Do your best to determine which people have the greatest potential to assist you in accomplishing your professional objectives. Research these people and try to learn how you can meet, connect and build ongoing relationships with them.

As you do so, be sure to keep in mind what Ferrazzi says about “finding a way to lead with generosity”. When reaching out to these people, your first concern should be how to add meaningful value to their lives so that you can establish a positive relationship.

There are those who would probably consider this type of behavior to be borderline stalking. After all, the plan is to diligently study a group of people, some of whom are probably strangers. You want to learn about their likes, dislikes, habits, hobbies, family, friends, etc.

When you think about it this way, it is admittedly a little bit weird. That said, keep in mind that your goal is to create a mutually beneficial relationship by leading with generosity and value. In other words, you’re studying these people in order to learn how to best help them.

Obviously, there are boundaries that you don’t want to cross. Be tactful and respect privacy. Luckily, these days, you can often learn plenty with things like Google, social media and company websites. For the most part, this is information that the person has chosen to publicly share with the world.

In the end, this type of planning may still make you a little uncomfortable. But, honestly, those who refuse to leave their comfort zones tend to have a low propensity for success. If it makes you feel any better, think of yourself as a spy gathering vital intel that will help you accomplish your mission to do good and fight for justice.

What Do You Want Out Of Life?

In your efforts to create and execute your own “Relationship Action Plan” (RAP), remember that this is about achieving your goals… which means you need to have goals. Those goals need to be specific, well thought out and realistic. They also need to have deadlines. (Otherwise they’re just dreams.) 

“I list what I’d like to accomplish three years from today. I then work backward in both one-year and three-month increments to develop mid-and short-term goals that will help me reach my mission.” – Keith Ferrazzi

Where Do You See Yourself In 3 Years?

Imagine what you could accomplish after three years of executing a well thought out Relationship Action Plan!

You probably spent somewhere between one and two decades in school developing and increasing what you know. Now you can add to that knowledge by expanding who you know, so you can achieve the kind of success that we all want.

What do you think is most important: what you know or who you know? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Success Advice

The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You’re Not Achieving It

Published

on

success

As human beings, most of us have this tendency to overcomplicate things. Maybe you’ve had this experience of trying to find success, but for some reason, it keeps eluding you.  In our pursuit to win, hardly anyone tells us the ugly truth about why most of our dreams seem to evade us.

Today, I’m going to share with you why so many people are held back from fully realizing their dreams as well as how to overcome those obstacles.   

By creating a resolve to not make these three mistakes and falling prey to these common weaknesses – we can shift our success and assure that our goals are attained. Getting to the finish line isn’t as hard as you think – that is, if you don’t let yourself fall into these three traps.

1. You Don’t Follow A Plan Long Enough

In today’s society, we’re used to microwave results – we are accustomed to zapping our results. Push a button and voila your food is ready. Watch a movie and just like that in two hours the hero has experienced pain, sadness, and triumph. Sadly though, success doesn’t happen with a push of a button or in a two-hour window.

An example of where I fell prey to this ‘fast results mentality’ was when I wanted to create my ideal body. I hired trainers, tried systems, diets, and fads, yet none of it worked…or so I told myself. But the reality was this: I gave up too soon. It was never the plan, the diet, or the trainer. It wasn’t my lack of expertise or lack of potential. The only thing that stopped me was my inability to stick to a plan long enough.

In my conversations with Jack Canfield, Elliott Hulse, Robert Kiyosaki and numerous highly-successful individuals, I’ve learned they all made a plan and stuck to it for years. If you want to achieve greatness, you must make the plan and then work that plan every single day. Be consistent and be willing to let the results blossom with time.

“Plan your work and work your plan.” – Napolean Hill

2. We Don’t Hold Our Belief Long Enough

Einstein was once asked if he was a genius, to which he gave a simple response:  “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” I love his response.

To live out and embody is one that has taken me a long time to understand. You see, for a long time I’ve had this terrible habit, it’s a habit I don’t want to admit to anyone I ever had. For decades, I’ve been a quitter. Not just outwardly, but in faith, I’ve tended to quit.

If you’re struggling to achieve some great result, it’s likely you’ve also come across this stumbling block. Losing faith too soon can make us quit when in reality a few more steps could mean reaching Graceland.

After working hard at attaining my ideal body, I finally achieved it. The plan was simple when I stuck to it because I ate specific food and worked out. I repeated this process every day for several years. It wasn’t instantaneous or easy, but it was simple. The same goes for writing, creating wealth, and creating just about anything – create a plan and work that system day-after-day.

It’s not sexy, but it’s the truth. Big wins are a bunch of small actions taken on a regular basis. A home is built one nail, one board, one screw at a time. Create a plan and work that plan.

In the world of Hollywood and marketing, we often dress up success in a fancy costume, fancy perfume, and an elegant story. But at the end of the day, every dress is stitched the same with threads of hope, intense hours of sewing, and focused labor.

3. We Don’t Seek Roads That Have Been Paved For Us

One of my favorite coaches of all time is Anthony Robbins. One of my favorite quotes from him is this: “Success leaves traces.” In my desire to achieve greatness, I’ve made one fatal mistake time after time. That mistake was always seeking to get there on my own, in my own way, without the help of anyone.

If I had listened to Anthony, I would have looked for those traces and followed them to the finish line. For those of us who are strong, capable, and want to achieve greatness, the desire to ‘do it our way’ can be our greatest strength or hindrance.

In my case, it made my work a lot harder. When I first tried to sell high-end consulting, I thought I could just figure it out. I didn’t want to listen to anyone, hire anyone, or study. I had achieved so much in business I thought I could do it my way. In doing so, I delayed my success.

Once I admitted to myself and others that I didn’t know how to pave the road to success in this area I opened up new roads to success. I was introduced to people who had already paved a way and thus made my work much easier. Instead of whacking my way through the weeds and wild growth of my own ignorance, I was shown the highway to success, and instead of weed-whacking, it was like driving a Ferrari down I-90.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

If you’re having a tough time achieving some results, I want you to have a finely tuned mind and heart which will take perseverance, follow-through, and faith. Lastly, it’s going to help you immensely if you can find a pre-paved path. If you want the highway to success, it does exist, it just takes looking for pre-paved paths and then working the plan to get there.

How are you making sure you become successful in life? Please share your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Always Choose Love, Not Fear

Published

on

A few weeks ago, I met a woman that seriously changed my perspective. It was one of those chance encounters that I believe was meant to happen for a reason.

This woman had been involved in the same tragedy that I had been caught up in. As I shared my story, I quickly realized that hers was much more challenging. Her sister had lost her young baby to a man on drugs. Once she told me this, I was lost for words.

How does one even comprehend that situation? How do you not choose fear? How do you choose not to hate? These were the questions I pondered afterward.

Here’s why you should choose love:

 

1. Love conquers fear

As humans, the easiest decision we can make is to choose love. Love destroys our fear and helps us see a deeper meaning in everything that happens in life. Love is the ever-conquering force in our life that will happen if we let it.

When you’re surrounded by love, it’s impossible to be conquered by the crippling disease that is fear. Love restarts the heart like a defibrillator. Fear causes a heart attack that can kill you if you let it.

Always choose love over fear.

 

2. Everything happens for a reason

When this young girls sister lost her baby, she chose to believe that it was meant to happen for a reason. She chose to believe that the loss of life would mean something far greater than death itself. This opinion was the result of love being the only answer she could comprehend.

After the tragedy, her community got around her and showed her more love than she had ever known. The death of her nephew started her entire family on a different path.

“While they couldn’t control the circumstances of the young baby’s death, what they could control was love”

They allowed the love that everybody showed them to take them to an entirely different level. Some days were good and other days were a nightmare.

Through it all, they chose to believe in love. Love is nothing more than a belief. It can only enter your life when you believe it exists. You must be accepting and you have to give love at the same time. They are the rules of the love game.

 

3. Think love not hate

When this tragic event occurred, it would have been so easy to hate the man hooked on drugs who caused this young baby to die. This girl taught me that hate has no place in the healing process. As a matter of fact, hate has no place in our lives.

Feelings of hate can cause us to go into a downward spiral. This spiral involves us becoming very selfish and only focusing on our own needs. From this place, we can’t do the inner work required to come back from adversity. Train your brain to always assume love as the default reason for everything.

“Spending our precious energy and time on this planet hating others for things we can’t control, will block us from our dreams”

Hate will transport us to a land far far away that resembles hell. Hell is where your nightmares come true, your fears are born and the person you become is something you despise for eternity.

 

4. Love is the best feeling in the world

There are lots of types of love but no matter what; love is the best feeling in the world. When you choose love your life seems extraordinary. You feel like you are on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. Love helps you to connect with your fellow human beings on an entirely different level.

Your success in life compounds because love attracts everything you could ever want in your life. You can’t be pissed off at the world when love is your default choice.

Love is what brings us closer together. Love is what creates human life through the coming together of a man and women. Love is what lights us up and fuels our intuition. Seek out love and you’ll know what it feels like to be invincible. If the worst happens, and a young baby close to you is killed, you’ll have all the answers.

 

5. Choose love by giving love

The best gift you can give while you’re alive is love. It costs nothing, but it takes every part of you to give. If a tragedy like the one described above occurs, you have the opportunity to give love.

When you do so, and you go through a difficult time, love finds its way back into your life. Choosing love is the beginner level: giving love is the expert level.

There are so many ways to give love. You could:

– Hug someone
– Do something nice for someone
– Write something beautiful to someone
– Be there for someone who is going through a tough time
– Smile at someone who looks down

The list is endless. Love is endless. Your capacity to give love is endless. What comes into your life can also be endless when you choose love. Think about that for a minute.

 

6. Love can cause a deranged man or women to see the light

 

If you talked to a terrorist and told them that you loved them, what would happen? While I don’t know for sure, what I do know is that there is a possibility you could interrupt their pattern. Part of the reason they do what they do is that they haven’t felt love.

Because they lack love in their life, they have adopted a set of false beliefs in the hope that this will fill the void they feel, due to the lack of love they’ve experienced.

 

“Terrorists, criminals and people on drugs, all have one thing in common: they need to be shown what love is so they can conquer the fear that’s been controlling their life – the fear that’s driven them to madness and to harm people”

 

***Final thought***

It’s time to wake up and stand for love. It’s what we were born to do. It takes no effort when we try it. Love can save us from just about anything. Love is about understanding that we are all on the same mission and that ultimately we are all part of the same cause and the same existence.

When you understand the idea of love, your consciousness goes to another level. People may begin to think that you’ve transcended their reality and that you have loads of wisdom. What’s really happened is that you’ve discovered the most powerful force on Earth: LOVE.

RIP to the young mothers baby. Love will transcend everything and bring you happiness again. I hope you can find it in your hearts to one day forgive the mean that caused you so much pain. Show him the love that he’s been lacking so desperately.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

5 Unusual Productivity Tips From Famous Procrastinators

Published

on

procrastination

Do you often procrastinate? Are you doing it now by reading this article? If yes – awesome, continue reading.

Most of us consider procrastination the biggest troublemaker and productivity killer. You see it as a vice, consequently, you try to overcome its effects, kill the procrastination beast and cheat with all the possible means.

But what if it’s not quite so? What if procrastination can virtually lead to productivity? Have you ever thought about this aspect? Many outstanding productive people, in fact, were chronic procrastinators. How did they manage to achieve success? What tips did successful people use to beat procrastination?

Here are five unusual tips from hard-core procrastinators that will help you boost your productivity level:

1. Victor Hugo: Lock away your clothes

The author of Les Misérables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more tremendously famous novels was beating procrastination with the most extraordinary and radical means. One episode from his life is the most illustrative here.

Hugo started writing The Hunchback of Notre Dame quite close to the deadline – in the fall of 1830. While the deadline was in February 1831. His preparation was thorough, but he did not feel like writing. Thus, he did something that didn’t leave a choice – he got naked and locked away his clothes.

The aim of all that was to avoid temptations of going outside. Hugo had nothing to wear but a shawl. And for many months, this rag (as his wife claimed) was his daily uniform. Did it work? Absolutely. He finished the book weeks before the actual deadline.

2. Gerhard Richter: Create a crisis

Gerhard Richter, world known German artist and procrastinator, got millions with his paintings. For example, Abstrakis Bild was sold for $20,802,500 at Sotheby’s.  How did he manage to procrastinate and, at the same time, complete paintings of photos, abstracts, “blur” photo paintings, and many more works of art?

It’s striking that he actually wastes time on garden and not on his paintings. In one of the interviews, Richter described his daily routines:  “I could spend my life arranging things. Weeks go by, and I don’t paint until finally I can’t stand it any longer. I get fed up. I almost don’t want to talk about it, because I don’t want to become self-conscious about it, but perhaps I create these little crises as a kind of a secret strategy to push myself.

It is a danger to wait around for an idea to occur to you. You have to find the idea.” Thus, his secret strategy to become more productive is a simple crisis.

“Chance determines our lives in important ways.” – Gerhard Richter

3. Bill Clinton: Take criticism seriously, not personally

The 42nd president of the United States, Bill Clinton, was described as a “chronic procrastinator” by Time magazine. Could you believe that a two-time Grammy winner may be addicted to postponing? Clinton had weeks or sometimes months to make comments on the drafts of his speeches, but, eventfully, it all ended with cut-and-paste in the end.

Even his Vice President Al Gore called Clinton “punctually challenged”. However, despite all the criticism, he managed to never give up. The key secret to productivity is the way you perceive criticism, according to Bill Clinton. If you take it too personally, you won’t be able to resist the feeling of deficiency that finally leads to the inferiority complex. Therefore, keep your cool when you are criticized. Then, you have more chances to stay productive.

4. Franz Kafka: Try to wake up the night productivity

The Czech writer worked as an insurance clerk and it was the time to existential thinking. The novelist though didn’t put his ideas into action. After Kafka had been promoted, he had more time and procrastination infected him for good.

His routine day after work, as he mentioned it on one of his letters, looked like this: “Lunch till 3:30 … sleep until 7:30 … ten minutes of exercises, naked at the open window … an hour’s walk … then dinner with my family.” There is nothing about writing though. When did he actually write? Beginning from approximately 11 p.m. and continuing up to 6 a.m. Not the perfect system, for sure, but that’s was the most productive time for Kafka. It appears that he spent most of the daytime napping.

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

5. Leonardo Da Vinci: Start several things at a time and make notes

An artist, mathematician, sculptor, writer, inventor, military engineer, Leonardo Da Vinci, is an outstanding figure in history. But despite the success he achieved, he was never focused on one thing at a time.

During his lifetime, he managed to complete only 20 paintings. The Virgin of the Rocks took him 13 years to put the final changes.  While his most illustrious work The Mona Lisa – as many as 16 years. The reason for that was his multi-tasking capacity. He was an incredibly broad-minded and all-round personality with so many genius plans. To improve a willpower, he had a rule book where he had more than 7,000 pages of notes.

His procrastination wasn’t already a secret for his benefactors. And some of them threatened him with bankruptcy in order to have his work done at last.

What if procrastination can be a way to extreme productivity and perfectionism? And still, you have structured procrastination as an option and a solution.

Would you use any of these tips to boost productivity flows? Comment below!
Continue Reading

Trending

Success Advice

Where Will You Be in 3 Years? How to Strategically Transform Your Life

Published

on

transform your life

Let’s settle the debate once and for all. Which is more important? What you know or who you know? Well, as it turns out, it’s a trick question. The answer: Both. (more…)

Seth Coyne is a copywriter and branding consultant. He prefers to be addressed as Jedi Master Seth. Click here to download his Innovation Cheat Sheet with 9 hacks to creating an endless stream of brilliant ideas for entrepreneurship, business growth and career advancement.

Continue Reading
Advertisement
22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Richelle

    Jan 5, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    SO good. Thank you.

  2. Karolin

    Aug 28, 2015 at 10:00 am

    After looking at a number of the articles on your blog,
    I truly like your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to
    my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look
    at my website too and tell me how you feel.

  3. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Kris this is one of the best articles I have read on Addicted2Success. I love how you’re so raw, and your advice is killer. Thank you so much for sharing this article. I think a lot of people underestimate the value of friends and their own network. People ask me all the time where I get work opportunities from. I tell them that I get all of them from my network. Every entrepreneurial thing I have ever done has been referred to me. A referral from someone influential creates leverage with a prospect because no one wants to ignore someone influential. If I emailed you right now, you might not respond. If your best friend introduced me and said for you to chat with me you would because you don;t want to let your best friend down.

    Thanks again Kris for sharing your wisdom!!!

  4. rental property

    Aug 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I am now not sure where you are getting your information, however great topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I used to be on the
    lookout for this info for my mission.

  5. Tracie

    Jul 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Interesting and motivating. But at the beginning of the article, you say you’re an introvert, then at the end, you say you’re an extrovert. Which are you? Because while the information in the article seems viable and doable, the credibility is hard to accept when you say you are two things.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 20, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Hey Tracie,

      Great question! I was hoping someone would bring this up. I thought it would be awkward bringing this up on my own. During editing I had to trim it down from about 4,000 words to 1990. I cut out the sentences that weren’t essential and when I submitted the draft that was one of my oversights. It originally said:

      “Do I do this because I’m an extrovert, or I think everyone needs to party and joke around constantly, or I’m a touchy-feely guy who thinks that speaking to people makes life better and you need to speak to people in order to be in touch with your feelings? Well, that helps, but it’s nowhere near the point I’m trying to make. ”

      I do think that people should speak to others, party once in a while, and be more in touch.

      As a sidenote, I also see myself as a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split. It’s a long story, but here’s the “short” version. I was born in a household with extreme versions of both. I was raised by my mom, but have my dad’s genes, so I have both personality traits. My mom is a bookworm doctor who rarely meets with friends, whereas my dad is a walking music festival. Nature vs nurture in the most literal sense.

      I seem to have the ability to carry both at once. It all depends on mood, momentum, environment, and if I consciously “flip the switch” (which I taught myself to do). My siblings don’t have this ability, they’re either an introvert or extrovert. That’s the case for most people.

      I also don’t think there’s a fine line between them. I think there are situations where we feel socially comfortable and situations where we don’t. Most people are somewhere in-between, and there are very few outliers at the extremes. If I did believe that, I wouldn’t encourage introverts to be around people. I also think more extroverts should be alone to focus. It’s healthy. It all depends. You need to do both. But introversion is the bigger problem – most people don’t go far enough to speak to others, whereas someone who can talk can usually shut up given the right incentives.

  6. Ethan Bridges

    Jul 16, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Hah! This has become like 1.5 posts.

    That’s a really great article, Kris. I’d say some of those ideas are quite fresh. (Or I simply didn’t know about them yet?)

    I’m guilty of this mistake–“dipping my toes in to see if it’s ‘right’ for me.” This is actually an excuse, I realize. You don’t dip your toes when you’re deciding, planning, executing–perhaps even when an idea simply “crosses your mind.” You have to have the desire. Yes, even on the ugliest tasks, you must burn with desire.

    Very nice, Kris. Honestly, this is one of the best posts I’ve read this week! Hey, I signed up on your blog. 😉

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Ethan,

      Haha, it pretty much has. I feel like I just gave a speech and now I’m doing Q&A.

      So far you seem like you’re on the right track! You’ve got your own blog, posting a lot of content, and it looks like it’s been up for a while. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a “dipping your toes in” problem, it’s more of a tactical distribution problem.

      You need to take one or two of those posts, promote the hell out of them, and you’ll start to get a lot more traction. And on your Facebook page (which I like by the way) just take $10 and promote the page to get some likes. If you do it right, you’ll get 1-200. And invite all your current Facebook friends to like it.

      Then what you do is write really good posts with viral headlines, promote those posts on Facebook, capture emails, and monetize with AdSense or your own products, then suddenly you have a thriving blog that makes money. You have the content, you just need to distribute and monetize it.

      In your everyday life, though, if you’re taking it too easy that could be rough. Just keep saying, “One more, one more, one more…” And realize that putting your whole heart into the task is the most important thing you can do. When you do that long enough, you’ll be in the top 10% of your field (self-help blogs) and that’s where the money is.

      Thanks for signing up for the blog! Very much appreciated! Can’t wait to see what you create, and hope that you enjoy all the stuff I put out on my own blog 🙂

      Kris

  7. Charly

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Kris,

    This article really speaks to me. I am in a place of feeling stuck and your advice about putting down my phone and talking to people really resonates with me. It is great to be reminded that I need I put myself out there more and be more present. Also looking at how I spend my time is super important to drive my productivity. I want to achieve big things but I’m playing a small game, that needs to change!

    Congratulations on all your success!! 🙂

    Thank you for all this amazing advice.

    -Charly 🙂

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Hey Charly,

      Really sorry to hear you’re in a place of feeling stuck. It’s not a fun place to be (I know first-hand). Right now I’m not in that place, but you never know, it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

      I’m not in your exact situation, so I wouldn’t know the details, but if you want to play big then you need to stop thinking of yourself as small. It’s easy to be charismatic and free and hard-working when you see yourself as those things.

      In my mind (I used to be a nerd, by the way) I’m Goku and a Korean pop-star and a lot of other strong or charismatic characters all put together. I reprogrammed my brain to change the roles that I play in every situation. Instead of a spectator, I’m a player. And instead of a wall flower, I’m the life of the party. I’m X, not Y. I’m the cause, not the effect. And the way I write is the way I think, I literally think happy thoughts or think well of myself 95% of the time. And the 5% is when I’m being critical of my own skills or being a perfectionist. On bad days, it switches lol. But, just keep doing the same things, and I’m back on my feet.

      So become the person who does those things, and then the results follow. That would be my only feedback for you.

      You’re doing great! Keep it up!

      Kris

  8. Leeann Froese

    Jul 16, 2015 at 2:02 am

    What a great post – some insights here and good reminders too.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      Hey Leeann,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂 hope some of the insights really help you in your life and in your career!

      Kris

  9. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 16, 2015 at 12:40 am

    This some wonderful advice! I really like reading things that can enhance my life and I agree with everything you have said here. Correcting mistakes like neglecting health and relationships and thinking you are not worthy of success will not only make you more successful, but happier as well. A lot of also dont understand the power of who you know. You have to reach out to people and understand them in a way if you want to be more successful. Like you said, you need friends. I cannot tell you how many people I know who got the right job because of some connection they had. Great post!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I agree 1,000%. Some people have mixed opinions about who you know. I’m of the opinion that you DEFINITELY need to know people, but more importantly, you need to be the type of person others want to know. Knowing people isn’t everything, but it’s a huge missing piece that some people don’t seem to get. Or they think that by partying that they’re networking. It can be, but a lot of the time it’s not.

      Glad you liked the post! I saw you commented on a lot of the other posts. Keep up the hustle! You’re doing good work.

      Kris

  10. Bethany Scott

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is one of the most original ‘career mistakes’ articles I’ve read lately – and I’ve read LOTS lately. All these points resonated with me. (Must – stop – overthinking…!!) Thankyou Kris!

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Hey Bethany,

      Haha thank you very much! It must’ve taken me 15-20 hours of editing to make everything succinct and unique. The original draft was somewhere around 4,000 words, then I spliced it down to 3,000, then to 2,000. So I had to be very intense with which points I kept in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  11. Kristian

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Nice job man,

    I found myself in these mistakes, but now I realized what I was doing wrong all the time…
    Thank you very much, Keep going…

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      Hey Kristian,

      Haha, a fellow Kris. I know what you mean. I’ve found myself in basically all of these at one point or another.

      You’ll be fine, though. These are problems with definite solutions.

      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It means a lot to me

      Kris

  12. Bogdan

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Fantastic article. It seems you’ve gone through your own journey and I could feel your passion through the words you used and the way you set out your thoughts. It personally gave me inspiration, thank you for that.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Hey Bogdan,

      Wow, thank you very much 🙂 yeah, I get really hyped when I write articles about success. I’ve found that my self-talk is very similar to how I write, so I’m glad you were inspired haha!

      Good luck on your journey,
      Kris

  13. Timothy Mosely

    Jul 15, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Hello Kris,

    I’m from Freelance Domination 2.0 Gold and I have to say I LOVE this article, its exceptionally well written and very motivating very well done good sir !

    it speaks to me in so many ways, seeing what you’ve gone through aand where you are heading it is an amazing thing.

    I am most assuredly guilty of more than one of these mistakes im not too humble to admit it, I am launching a IT company but i fear I have been making these mistakes and delaying it I just need to Fully commit to winning.

    If you have any advice for a young man who’s dream is to be a successful freelancer then fire away !

    Thanks,

    Tim.

    • Kris Roxas

      Jul 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Timothy,

      Thank you, very, very much! I put a lot of effort and passion into it. I mean, I wish I were a little more perfectionist with it because I notice a couple things that could be tweaked, but part of fully committing it is just giving them the article to publish so I can continue my journey.

      For you, as a freelancer and (if separate) as an IT company founder, to commit is a weak sentence. It’s about commitment, but it’s about COMMITMENT. Yell the word. COMMIT! There’s a difference. Not just being obnoxious about it, but in meaning.

      There’s nothing inspiring about an obligation. In the end, if you don’t do it, nobody is going to die. So everything you do is never a need, it’s a burning desire. That’s why you need to be obsessed with your goal. You feel so in love with it, it’s your sweetheart, your mistress. You just want to give her all your heart.

      So barring the need for drive and realizing you need to develop a focus similar to being in love, here are the important things you need to know to committing long-term:

      – send status reports every night to a friend or partner (I send 3: my bae, an accountability coach, and a business expert). Include 1. Done, 2. To-Do, 3. Problems/Solution, 4. Comments/Questions
      – use thehabitsheet.com
      – anything within your control, say it in definite language. No “maybe’s” or “try’s.” Only yes or no. You can’t do half a rep and expect to have gains in the gym.
      – the way you talk to yourself will determine your confidence levels and whether you’ll get things done. Be nice to yourself and motivating.
      – use small wins to make yourself happy. Small goals like drinking water, getting out of bed on time, or flossing. When you see yourself accomplishing things like this everyday, psychologically you start to see yourself as somebody who gets stuff done, then you get bigger tasks done.
      – get big, ugly tasks done every single day – they’re your priority (one a day is fine, if it’s time-consuming)
      – take less breaks. The only time you should stop focusing is if you’re in physical pain, if you’re on a schedule, or if you need to politely tell someone you’re working.

      Those are the big ones. Anyways, thanks for the question, it was a good one!

      Kris

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

Where Will You Be in 3 Years? How to Strategically Transform Your Life

Published

on

transform your life

Let’s settle the debate once and for all. Which is more important? What you know or who you know? Well, as it turns out, it’s a trick question. The answer: Both.

Progressing in your career or in growing a business is never easy without the right relationships. But, when you finally do get to meet the kind of people who have the power to put you on the fast track to success, you’d better have something to contribute.

By the time we finish college, we’ve spent years and years developing what we know. This knowledge and competence is added upon as we gain on-the-job experience. But, there’s a good chance that you haven’t given nearly as much thought to developing the other side of the equation. Many of us don’t invest sufficient effort to expand who we know. Often, this pattern of behavior persists throughout a person’s entire career.

Don’t Be Random, Be Strategic

We have a tendency to view education very methodically. We plan it out years in advance. Seeing as how that’s only half the battle, shouldn’t we also create a plan to methodically build our network?

Throughout his impressive career, networking expert Keith Ferrazzi has created a method that could change the way you think about developing and nurturing business relationships.

In his bestselling book, Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi writes: ”The tool I use is something I call the Relationship Action Plan. The most simple version of the plan is separated into three distinct parts: The first part is devoted to the development of the goals that will help you fulfill your mission. The second part is devoted to connecting those goals to the people, places, and things that will help you get the job done. And the third part helps you determine the best way to reach out to the people who will help you to accomplish your goals. This means choosing a medium to connect, but, more important, it means finding a way to lead with generosity.”

For many of us, networking refers to an activity during which we:

  • Congregate in large groups of people (many of whom may be unemployed)
  • Spend a few hours engaging in friendly small talk with strangers
  • Exchanging business cards, followed by never speaking to each other again

There are multiple flaws in this method, not the least of which being that it’s far too random. For the most part, you likely have no idea who’s going to be at the next networking event that you plan to attend. You don’t know if the people that you talk to will be in a position to help you achieve your goals.

“Personal relationships are always the key to good business. You can buy networking; you can’t buy friendships.” – Lindsay Fox

Is Research Creepy?

Take time to plan ahead. Do your best to determine which people have the greatest potential to assist you in accomplishing your professional objectives. Research these people and try to learn how you can meet, connect and build ongoing relationships with them.

As you do so, be sure to keep in mind what Ferrazzi says about “finding a way to lead with generosity”. When reaching out to these people, your first concern should be how to add meaningful value to their lives so that you can establish a positive relationship.

There are those who would probably consider this type of behavior to be borderline stalking. After all, the plan is to diligently study a group of people, some of whom are probably strangers. You want to learn about their likes, dislikes, habits, hobbies, family, friends, etc.

When you think about it this way, it is admittedly a little bit weird. That said, keep in mind that your goal is to create a mutually beneficial relationship by leading with generosity and value. In other words, you’re studying these people in order to learn how to best help them.

Obviously, there are boundaries that you don’t want to cross. Be tactful and respect privacy. Luckily, these days, you can often learn plenty with things like Google, social media and company websites. For the most part, this is information that the person has chosen to publicly share with the world.

In the end, this type of planning may still make you a little uncomfortable. But, honestly, those who refuse to leave their comfort zones tend to have a low propensity for success. If it makes you feel any better, think of yourself as a spy gathering vital intel that will help you accomplish your mission to do good and fight for justice.

What Do You Want Out Of Life?

In your efforts to create and execute your own “Relationship Action Plan” (RAP), remember that this is about achieving your goals… which means you need to have goals. Those goals need to be specific, well thought out and realistic. They also need to have deadlines. (Otherwise they’re just dreams.) 

“I list what I’d like to accomplish three years from today. I then work backward in both one-year and three-month increments to develop mid-and short-term goals that will help me reach my mission.” – Keith Ferrazzi

Where Do You See Yourself In 3 Years?

Imagine what you could accomplish after three years of executing a well thought out Relationship Action Plan!

You probably spent somewhere between one and two decades in school developing and increasing what you know. Now you can add to that knowledge by expanding who you know, so you can achieve the kind of success that we all want.

What do you think is most important: what you know or who you know? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Success Advice

The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You’re Not Achieving It

Published

on

success

As human beings, most of us have this tendency to overcomplicate things. Maybe you’ve had this experience of trying to find success, but for some reason, it keeps eluding you.  In our pursuit to win, hardly anyone tells us the ugly truth about why most of our dreams seem to evade us.

Today, I’m going to share with you why so many people are held back from fully realizing their dreams as well as how to overcome those obstacles.   

By creating a resolve to not make these three mistakes and falling prey to these common weaknesses – we can shift our success and assure that our goals are attained. Getting to the finish line isn’t as hard as you think – that is, if you don’t let yourself fall into these three traps.

1. You Don’t Follow A Plan Long Enough

In today’s society, we’re used to microwave results – we are accustomed to zapping our results. Push a button and voila your food is ready. Watch a movie and just like that in two hours the hero has experienced pain, sadness, and triumph. Sadly though, success doesn’t happen with a push of a button or in a two-hour window.

An example of where I fell prey to this ‘fast results mentality’ was when I wanted to create my ideal body. I hired trainers, tried systems, diets, and fads, yet none of it worked…or so I told myself. But the reality was this: I gave up too soon. It was never the plan, the diet, or the trainer. It wasn’t my lack of expertise or lack of potential. The only thing that stopped me was my inability to stick to a plan long enough.

In my conversations with Jack Canfield, Elliott Hulse, Robert Kiyosaki and numerous highly-successful individuals, I’ve learned they all made a plan and stuck to it for years. If you want to achieve greatness, you must make the plan and then work that plan every single day. Be consistent and be willing to let the results blossom with time.

“Plan your work and work your plan.” – Napolean Hill

2. We Don’t Hold Our Belief Long Enough

Einstein was once asked if he was a genius, to which he gave a simple response:  “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” I love his response.

To live out and embody is one that has taken me a long time to understand. You see, for a long time I’ve had this terrible habit, it’s a habit I don’t want to admit to anyone I ever had. For decades, I’ve been a quitter. Not just outwardly, but in faith, I’ve tended to quit.

If you’re struggling to achieve some great result, it’s likely you’ve also come across this stumbling block. Losing faith too soon can make us quit when in reality a few more steps could mean reaching Graceland.

After working hard at attaining my ideal body, I finally achieved it. The plan was simple when I stuck to it because I ate specific food and worked out. I repeated this process every day for several years. It wasn’t instantaneous or easy, but it was simple. The same goes for writing, creating wealth, and creating just about anything – create a plan and work that system day-after-day.

It’s not sexy, but it’s the truth. Big wins are a bunch of small actions taken on a regular basis. A home is built one nail, one board, one screw at a time. Create a plan and work that plan.

In the world of Hollywood and marketing, we often dress up success in a fancy costume, fancy perfume, and an elegant story. But at the end of the day, every dress is stitched the same with threads of hope, intense hours of sewing, and focused labor.

3. We Don’t Seek Roads That Have Been Paved For Us

One of my favorite coaches of all time is Anthony Robbins. One of my favorite quotes from him is this: “Success leaves traces.” In my desire to achieve greatness, I’ve made one fatal mistake time after time. That mistake was always seeking to get there on my own, in my own way, without the help of anyone.

If I had listened to Anthony, I would have looked for those traces and followed them to the finish line. For those of us who are strong, capable, and want to achieve greatness, the desire to ‘do it our way’ can be our greatest strength or hindrance.

In my case, it made my work a lot harder. When I first tried to sell high-end consulting, I thought I could just figure it out. I didn’t want to listen to anyone, hire anyone, or study. I had achieved so much in business I thought I could do it my way. In doing so, I delayed my success.

Once I admitted to myself and others that I didn’t know how to pave the road to success in this area I opened up new roads to success. I was introduced to people who had already paved a way and thus made my work much easier. Instead of whacking my way through the weeds and wild growth of my own ignorance, I was shown the highway to success, and instead of weed-whacking, it was like driving a Ferrari down I-90.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

If you’re having a tough time achieving some results, I want you to have a finely tuned mind and heart which will take perseverance, follow-through, and faith. Lastly, it’s going to help you immensely if you can find a pre-paved path. If you want the highway to success, it does exist, it just takes looking for pre-paved paths and then working the plan to get there.

How are you making sure you become successful in life? Please share your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Always Choose Love, Not Fear

Published

on

A few weeks ago, I met a woman that seriously changed my perspective. It was one of those chance encounters that I believe was meant to happen for a reason.

This woman had been involved in the same tragedy that I had been caught up in. As I shared my story, I quickly realized that hers was much more challenging. Her sister had lost her young baby to a man on drugs. Once she told me this, I was lost for words.

How does one even comprehend that situation? How do you not choose fear? How do you choose not to hate? These were the questions I pondered afterward.

Here’s why you should choose love:

 

1. Love conquers fear

As humans, the easiest decision we can make is to choose love. Love destroys our fear and helps us see a deeper meaning in everything that happens in life. Love is the ever-conquering force in our life that will happen if we let it.

When you’re surrounded by love, it’s impossible to be conquered by the crippling disease that is fear. Love restarts the heart like a defibrillator. Fear causes a heart attack that can kill you if you let it.

Always choose love over fear.

 

2. Everything happens for a reason

When this young girls sister lost her baby, she chose to believe that it was meant to happen for a reason. She chose to believe that the loss of life would mean something far greater than death itself. This opinion was the result of love being the only answer she could comprehend.

After the tragedy, her community got around her and showed her more love than she had ever known. The death of her nephew started her entire family on a different path.

“While they couldn’t control the circumstances of the young baby’s death, what they could control was love”

They allowed the love that everybody showed them to take them to an entirely different level. Some days were good and other days were a nightmare.

Through it all, they chose to believe in love. Love is nothing more than a belief. It can only enter your life when you believe it exists. You must be accepting and you have to give love at the same time. They are the rules of the love game.

 

3. Think love not hate

When this tragic event occurred, it would have been so easy to hate the man hooked on drugs who caused this young baby to die. This girl taught me that hate has no place in the healing process. As a matter of fact, hate has no place in our lives.

Feelings of hate can cause us to go into a downward spiral. This spiral involves us becoming very selfish and only focusing on our own needs. From this place, we can’t do the inner work required to come back from adversity. Train your brain to always assume love as the default reason for everything.

“Spending our precious energy and time on this planet hating others for things we can’t control, will block us from our dreams”

Hate will transport us to a land far far away that resembles hell. Hell is where your nightmares come true, your fears are born and the person you become is something you despise for eternity.

 

4. Love is the best feeling in the world

There are lots of types of love but no matter what; love is the best feeling in the world. When you choose love your life seems extraordinary. You feel like you are on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. Love helps you to connect with your fellow human beings on an entirely different level.

Your success in life compounds because love attracts everything you could ever want in your life. You can’t be pissed off at the world when love is your default choice.

Love is what brings us closer together. Love is what creates human life through the coming together of a man and women. Love is what lights us up and fuels our intuition. Seek out love and you’ll know what it feels like to be invincible. If the worst happens, and a young baby close to you is killed, you’ll have all the answers.

 

5. Choose love by giving love

The best gift you can give while you’re alive is love. It costs nothing, but it takes every part of you to give. If a tragedy like the one described above occurs, you have the opportunity to give love.

When you do so, and you go through a difficult time, love finds its way back into your life. Choosing love is the beginner level: giving love is the expert level.

There are so many ways to give love. You could:

– Hug someone
– Do something nice for someone
– Write something beautiful to someone
– Be there for someone who is going through a tough time
– Smile at someone who looks down

The list is endless. Love is endless. Your capacity to give love is endless. What comes into your life can also be endless when you choose love. Think about that for a minute.

 

6. Love can cause a deranged man or women to see the light

 

If you talked to a terrorist and told them that you loved them, what would happen? While I don’t know for sure, what I do know is that there is a possibility you could interrupt their pattern. Part of the reason they do what they do is that they haven’t felt love.

Because they lack love in their life, they have adopted a set of false beliefs in the hope that this will fill the void they feel, due to the lack of love they’ve experienced.

 

“Terrorists, criminals and people on drugs, all have one thing in common: they need to be shown what love is so they can conquer the fear that’s been controlling their life – the fear that’s driven them to madness and to harm people”

 

***Final thought***

It’s time to wake up and stand for love. It’s what we were born to do. It takes no effort when we try it. Love can save us from just about anything. Love is about understanding that we are all on the same mission and that ultimately we are all part of the same cause and the same existence.

When you understand the idea of love, your consciousness goes to another level. People may begin to think that you’ve transcended their reality and that you have loads of wisdom. What’s really happened is that you’ve discovered the most powerful force on Earth: LOVE.

RIP to the young mothers baby. Love will transcend everything and bring you happiness again. I hope you can find it in your hearts to one day forgive the mean that caused you so much pain. Show him the love that he’s been lacking so desperately.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

5 Unusual Productivity Tips From Famous Procrastinators

Published

on

procrastination

Do you often procrastinate? Are you doing it now by reading this article? If yes – awesome, continue reading.

Most of us consider procrastination the biggest troublemaker and productivity killer. You see it as a vice, consequently, you try to overcome its effects, kill the procrastination beast and cheat with all the possible means.

But what if it’s not quite so? What if procrastination can virtually lead to productivity? Have you ever thought about this aspect? Many outstanding productive people, in fact, were chronic procrastinators. How did they manage to achieve success? What tips did successful people use to beat procrastination?

Here are five unusual tips from hard-core procrastinators that will help you boost your productivity level:

1. Victor Hugo: Lock away your clothes

The author of Les Misérables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more tremendously famous novels was beating procrastination with the most extraordinary and radical means. One episode from his life is the most illustrative here.

Hugo started writing The Hunchback of Notre Dame quite close to the deadline – in the fall of 1830. While the deadline was in February 1831. His preparation was thorough, but he did not feel like writing. Thus, he did something that didn’t leave a choice – he got naked and locked away his clothes.

The aim of all that was to avoid temptations of going outside. Hugo had nothing to wear but a shawl. And for many months, this rag (as his wife claimed) was his daily uniform. Did it work? Absolutely. He finished the book weeks before the actual deadline.

2. Gerhard Richter: Create a crisis

Gerhard Richter, world known German artist and procrastinator, got millions with his paintings. For example, Abstrakis Bild was sold for $20,802,500 at Sotheby’s.  How did he manage to procrastinate and, at the same time, complete paintings of photos, abstracts, “blur” photo paintings, and many more works of art?

It’s striking that he actually wastes time on garden and not on his paintings. In one of the interviews, Richter described his daily routines:  “I could spend my life arranging things. Weeks go by, and I don’t paint until finally I can’t stand it any longer. I get fed up. I almost don’t want to talk about it, because I don’t want to become self-conscious about it, but perhaps I create these little crises as a kind of a secret strategy to push myself.

It is a danger to wait around for an idea to occur to you. You have to find the idea.” Thus, his secret strategy to become more productive is a simple crisis.

“Chance determines our lives in important ways.” – Gerhard Richter

3. Bill Clinton: Take criticism seriously, not personally

The 42nd president of the United States, Bill Clinton, was described as a “chronic procrastinator” by Time magazine. Could you believe that a two-time Grammy winner may be addicted to postponing? Clinton had weeks or sometimes months to make comments on the drafts of his speeches, but, eventfully, it all ended with cut-and-paste in the end.

Even his Vice President Al Gore called Clinton “punctually challenged”. However, despite all the criticism, he managed to never give up. The key secret to productivity is the way you perceive criticism, according to Bill Clinton. If you take it too personally, you won’t be able to resist the feeling of deficiency that finally leads to the inferiority complex. Therefore, keep your cool when you are criticized. Then, you have more chances to stay productive.

4. Franz Kafka: Try to wake up the night productivity

The Czech writer worked as an insurance clerk and it was the time to existential thinking. The novelist though didn’t put his ideas into action. After Kafka had been promoted, he had more time and procrastination infected him for good.

His routine day after work, as he mentioned it on one of his letters, looked like this: “Lunch till 3:30 … sleep until 7:30 … ten minutes of exercises, naked at the open window … an hour’s walk … then dinner with my family.” There is nothing about writing though. When did he actually write? Beginning from approximately 11 p.m. and continuing up to 6 a.m. Not the perfect system, for sure, but that’s was the most productive time for Kafka. It appears that he spent most of the daytime napping.

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

5. Leonardo Da Vinci: Start several things at a time and make notes

An artist, mathematician, sculptor, writer, inventor, military engineer, Leonardo Da Vinci, is an outstanding figure in history. But despite the success he achieved, he was never focused on one thing at a time.

During his lifetime, he managed to complete only 20 paintings. The Virgin of the Rocks took him 13 years to put the final changes.  While his most illustrious work The Mona Lisa – as many as 16 years. The reason for that was his multi-tasking capacity. He was an incredibly broad-minded and all-round personality with so many genius plans. To improve a willpower, he had a rule book where he had more than 7,000 pages of notes.

His procrastination wasn’t already a secret for his benefactors. And some of them threatened him with bankruptcy in order to have his work done at last.

What if procrastination can be a way to extreme productivity and perfectionism? And still, you have structured procrastination as an option and a solution.

Would you use any of these tips to boost productivity flows? Comment below!
Continue Reading

Trending