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Motivation

The Ultimate Guide To Recognizing And Conquering Crippling Beliefs

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Do you know that feeling?

That urge calling you to do better. To establish firm goals and go after each in a predestined, unfaltering and decisive manner.

But something holds you back.

You can’t quite put your finger on it, yet something inside you is stopping you from manifesting the greatest version of yourself.

And while working out this problem, life is passing you by.

But it isn’t your fault.

Schools, parents, and peers don’t teach you the inner workings of the mind — the device responsible for your most spectacular successes and ugliest failures.

You see, most often than not, the way you think about things is the root cause of your unhappiness.

 

The biggest liar in the world

Your mind is undoubtedly brilliant. Though it has a dark side.

Whispering in your ear, moment after moment, telling you things you wouldn’t even tolerate from your worst enemy.

It can behave like a paranoid schizophrenic, convincing you that everyone is out to get you, you’re not good enough and you must change who you are to fit in.

To top it off, all the proof is there of your inadequacy. You find it difficult to connect with people, you’re in a job that sucks and you keep making silly mistakes over and over again. Sure signs of failure.

There comes a point when you can no longer separate yourself from these “truths” – you are one with your beliefs. That’s when you stop trying to make meaningful change in your life.

But listening to your mind is like living with a liar. The internal chatter becomes so overpowering, it’s almost impossible to recognize that thoughts are only words the mind strings together at any given moment.

The good news? It’s never too late to cut through the fog, flip your unhelpful beliefs and create a life of success.

“If one can only see things according to one’s own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb and blind.” – Robert Anton Wilson

Canny ways to uncover your limiting beliefs:

  • What’s your body telling you? What thoughts go through your mind when you have tension in your stomach? Your mind and body are connected, and even when your mind blinds you, your body will be a better place to look for answers. I had stomach pains for many years, but I accepted them as part of being anxious most of the time. Had I listened to my stomach earlier, I could’ve explored the reasons behind the constant churning.
  • What do you avoid? Things that you’re afraid to do can point to your stubborn, unhelpful beliefs. I don’t mean you have to jump off a bridge with a rope attached to your legs if you’re terrified of heights – though you could try that too. What I’m saying is that you habitually stop doing things you think are hard. Maybe you’re asked to give a presentation and your immediate reaction is to refuse it. Go in and explore why you reject this. Often what you most avoid is what you should be doing to progress.
  • Who offends you and why? People who hurt you can act like a mirror giving a glimpse into underlying beliefs you hold tight. Your friends will rarely point out your blind spots. I’m not suggesting the offenders are right; instead, think of those as areas where you can make improvements in your attitude. It doesn’t help you to be angry and bottle up emotions against someone else. These emotions can indicate that you need to ease up some feelings when someone says the wrong thing to you. Your anger won’t hurt them. It only harms you.
  • Can you stare at a wall … and do nothing? Most people are unable to do it for long (unless they’re experienced monks). I guarantee, even before 10 seconds pass your mind will jump into as many different ideas, worries and concerns. Which is an ideal opportunity for taking note of the chain of thoughts your mind created in that short time. And most of those sub-conscious thoughts will have an unpleasant undertone as studies have shown, because that’s the way minds work. So don’t be surprised of what you uncover.

Be-Happy-Picture-Quote

The art of taming unhelpful beliefs:

So you now have some ideas about what those negative beliefs are, but how do you get rid of them? You don’t actually have to. It’s enough to turn the volume down on them to lessen their power over you.

  • Say, “Hello.” Receive your negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings with open arms instead of fighting them. Acceptance does not equal defeat. It’s more like a friendly acknowledgement. Once you’re better at recognizing your thoughts and beliefs, you can give them a little nod, as if to say, “Yes, I can see you’re there.” But they don’t have to bother you.
  • Don’t take them seriously. You can try not taking negative blabber seriously. Since laughter is the best form of medicine, do what it takes to ridicule them. Repeat troubling phrases in your head in a funny voice (Yoda is my favorite). Or try recording your most intrusive phrase, like “I’m not good enough” for about five minutes to a recording device. Then re-listen – if you can bear it for that long, you’ll understand that these are merely harmless words repeated over and over again.
  • Join a community. Find a support group (online or off) – the type of people whom you aspire to be. They’ll soon make you realize that your most precious beliefs could be just fantasies. They’ve been through where you are now and know the shortcuts to overcoming your problems. They’ll inspire you and show you how to thrive in your skin. There’s no easier way to grow than by taking advantage of the power of an experienced group.

 “Limits, like fear, is often an illusion” – Michael Jordan

Transforming the noise into action

Your mind will always try and trip you up, no matter how self-developed you are. That’s the nature of minds.

But you can outsmart it by staying one step ahead and understanding its workings.

Every day, you have oodles of chances to acquaint yourself with the real meaning behind your sub-conscious thoughts.

Knowing how to catch the unhelpful chatter and turn them into a source of power will help you fling into the orbit of change and onto a rich life that’s worth living.

And there isn’t a more ideal day than today – so you’d better get started.

 

Andrea, a quiet spirit, helps to make you feel at ease when interacting with others. A fledgling writer and speaker, she's driven to take the fear out of hanging out. If you want to know how to easily start talking to people, download your copy of Never be Tongue-Tied around People

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28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. Mike Cross

    May 7, 2015 at 10:34 am

    hi – im the proud volunteer chairman of a grassroots football club in cheshire england – its the little negative comments that always push me over the edge – i need to get rid of my fixed mindset on everything – love the funny voice idea “words will never hurt me”
    Im actually really positive most of the time – i need to focus on fewer things & do them better & just listen to the odd negative & turn it in to a positive

  2. Ilka

    Apr 30, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Hi Andrea!

    That was a really wonderful post with a lot of deep insights. It is interesting how our sub-conscious can trick us and even lead us to sabotage ourselves.

    I love the idea of starring at a wall. I will definitely try this 🙂

    Thanks for sharing, Ilka

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Hi Ilka,

      Thank you for taking time to comment.

      The subconscious can be both a source of pain and the vehicle to guarantee our success. Once we are aware this, can we use it to our advantage and achieve goals we never thought was possible with a previous mindset.

      Best,
      Andrea

  3. Ashley trexler

    Apr 28, 2015 at 11:47 am

    great read! I especially love the part about exploring why you want to refuse something, and finding what the real problem is. That’s so true, for me. Often when I don’t want to do something (a presentation, a meeting) it’s because I’m not confident in my knowledge. When I truly know a subject, presenting isn’t a problem….there’s no fear because there’s no unknown. Great work, Andrea! Keep it up.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:06 am

      Thanks you Ashley! Yes, I found that to be very true about resisting certain things. There’s always a reason for that and it’s better to look into it and asking ourselves the (sometimes painful) question of what really is the source of problem here…. It is rare that people achieve their goals without going through some kind of discomfort in the process. I’m learning to get on with things, however hard they may seem 🙂

  4. Mark Tong

    Apr 28, 2015 at 7:49 am

    Really, really useful tips on a universal problem. I love the silly voice idea – have used that often in the past – I use to try and listen to what my ‘inner voice’ was babbling about but it scared the hell out of me, so now I’ve got a retraining order on it – if it comes within 100 feet, I call the cops.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:09 am

      What a great idea Mark, I haven’t considered that as an option but you’re right! That will do some serious damage to it 😉

  5. Kim

    Apr 27, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    The mind-body connection that you talk about is so true. It is only now that I realize the power of it and work to understand why I’m feeling a certain way instead of simply worrying or doing “whatever it takes,” to avoid it. I’m not always successful, but I am always glad I’ve tried. Thanks for the great article.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Nice to see you here Kim 🙂

      Yes, we have to keep trying. It’s better to get a handle on these thoughts and emotions than let them handle us!! The good thing is that it becomes easier with time, and once you understand their workings.

      Thanks
      Andrea

  6. Rob

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Andrea, amazing! I’m inspired to think of our minds having a dark side and that listening to our own minds can be like listening to a liar! Now there’s a scary thought.

    I love the idea of exploring why we reject certain opportunities to see what we can find. Areas for improvements, perhaps, or at least conscious recognition of something that deeply concerns us. As you put it so well: acceptance. There’s a sense of empowerment that comes with that and also not taking the negative blabber, as you call it, so seriously.

    For me, the most exciting insight (and affirmation) is surrounding ourselves with the people we aspire to be: those who have trodden the path and know the territory. Those who know how to outsmart the mind and overcome limiting beliefs with ease (great choice on the Michael Jordan quote!)

    I’d go further to say that the sooner, or younger, we do what you suggest, the better our chances of outsmarting the negative self-banter of the mind and the more powerful we become.

    Here’s food for thought: if the ideas and suggestions you share here were offered to young children, what may their chances of greater success be like in adulthood?

    Inspiring stuff, thank you!

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you for your wonderful comment Rob. 🙂

      Indeed, by the time we reach adulthood, we should be all equipped with recognizing when the unhelpful beliefs take over. Alas, a lot of us aren’t even aware of these powerful subconscious trends that define our every being.

      Cheers,
      Andrea

  7. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    “Often what you most avoid is what you should be doing to progress.” I really wish you were wrong about this, so I could continue avoiding certain situations (particularly social ones), but you are so right! Even as I say no, there is a little voice telling me that I need to say yes. But, I stomp out that voice and feel relieved that I have avoided discomfort. Really must work on pushing through the discomfort!

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      Hi Nicki,

      My answer to that would be, you have to make yourself push through the first few occasions. Then there will come a time when you start thinking “What was I worrying about?”. I can think of lots of times when I was terrified of entering a situation, but I actually enjoyed the process. I wouldn’t have known that if I carried on avoiding it. I’m afraid to say you can only do it by taking action. But once you start doing it and you build up enough momentum – you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing some bigger challenges you set.

      Thanks for reading and I hope that helps 🙂

  8. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Great post, Andrea!

    Our brain gives birth to our beliefs, both positive and negative. If we do the hard work to change our limiting beliefs into beliefs that support us, we can become limitless!

    For starters though, I’ll settle with turning down the volume of the unhelpful beliefs. Acceptance and community seem like brilliant strategies for doing so. Like you said, I better get started.

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      Thanks Debashish, and precisely! We are in charge whether we give power to the beliefs that hold us back, or choose to allow those to surface that help us ultimately. I love the idea of growing with a community too – you can make results manifest so much faster than if you were to create those on your own. 🙂

  9. newton emase

    Apr 23, 2015 at 3:46 am

    Thank you andrea for this inspiring article, am a student and this are my limits and for now am trying to prove the inner critic wrong

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      As human beings we are gifted with ability to change our thoughts/behaviors and therefore our perceived limits. Good luck with proving your inner critic wrong Newton!

  10. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    Andrea, Thanks for the reminder on how to tame my unhelpful beliefs.

  11. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Great article Andrea. I especially like the point about checking in with your body. I often find I have tension in my shoulders in certain situations, and it’s a message that usually points to feeling tension about the person or situation for some reason.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      Thanks for leaving a comment Ellen. The body has so much more wisdom than we can explain in terms of science – I guess we can intuitively feel what is wrong if we really tune into and get familiar with these bodily signals.

  12. Wilfried

    Apr 22, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Hi Andrea,

    Great article!
    I like especially that you address negative beliefs, like so many of us have, and how do you get rid of them?

    Cheers
    Wilfried

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Hey Wifried,

      It’s funny you know only the other day I was talking to a friend, and we were discussing how so many of us are even unaware of these negative beliefs inside our minds. Shows how powerfully the mind conceals this from our very own eyes. So yes, locate them first, then you can start dealing with them!

  13. Lynn

    Apr 22, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Well done, Andrea. You’ve provided life-changing advice in a straightforward, sensible way.

    I’d sum up as “Don’t always believe what you believe”! So my meditation teacher says 🙂

    • Andrea

      Apr 22, 2015 at 3:29 pm

      Thanks Lynn. I agree with your meditation teacher, though one of the hardest things to do! After all, it all seems so real… and that’s what’s so scary about it. 🙂

  14. Tejaswi

    Apr 22, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Thanks a lot for a great article.
    I really needed this advice… Acknowledging and accepting the limiting beliefs before taming is the most important.

    Thanks again.
    Tejaswi

    • Andrea

      Apr 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

      My pleasure Tejaswi. Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad if it helped 🙂

  15. Raymond Lamar Lee

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Great Article, love the pic

  16. Divsdivya

    Apr 22, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Thanks andrea for sharing the article…..since few days i was reading the articles about the subconcious mind and how will it work in shaping our believes …this articles a simple with nice understandable examples…i liked the way you presented the article…

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Motivation

Want To Be The Greatest? Publish Positivity.

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Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be the greatest in whatever field I entered. Now I am in the top tier of bloggers on the Internet.

 

So your question surely is: “How can I do the same?”

For starters, forget who I am and what I have and haven’t done. It’s not about me; it’s about you. It all starts with you and I’m going to give you the secret.

 

The secret is: Publish positivity.

Whether that’s publishing an email and sending it off, publishing a video online, publishing a blog post, publishing a picture on Instagram.

The key is always to publish something that’s positive.

 

It’s helped me and it can help you.

Everything I have ever published on the Internet since I started this blogging journey is positive. It’s content that is designed to take your life to the next level.

I aim to send chills down your spine.
I aim to get you to think differently.
Most of all, I aim to get you to take positive action.

 

Before all of the positivity, it started with negativity.

The thing is it didn’t start this way. My journey started with a whole lot of negativity and yours is probably similar. That’s the best place to start anything from. With so much negativity, there’s only one place to go – UP!

I always thought that success was only for those born rich. My days were spent finding reasons why something couldn’t be done. I complained all day long about everything I wanted but couldn’t get. I was tired, lonely, frustrated and pissed off at the world. We’ve all been there.

Then someone inspired me by publishing positivity. Now I want to return that favor.

I want everyone to be able to become inspired and then make the same decision as me to publish positivity from now on. Enough is enough.

 

There’s already too much negativity.

I’m fed up with every traditional media outlet talking about nothing other than negativity. Consistent negativity only produces more negativity. There’s no point harping on about what’s wrong and how everything is so challenging to fix. Nothing worth doing is easy.

“If you’re trying to achieve a goal, then you have to publish positivity to stand out and influence all of us”

 

People want to be inspired.

The common theme with everything I have achieved is that I’ve figured out the one hack: People just want to be inspired. It’s really that simple. To be the greatest, you must inspire people.

We all love inspiration because it’s what we’re all lacking. Tell stories and inspire people. That’s how you become the best in the world at anything. We all have a story to tell that can inspire people. Reach inside, and pull out those stories for all of us to hear.

You’ve overcome some obstacle.
You’ve had a difficult time.
You’ve experienced death.
You’ve lost something.

The inspiration we can all learn from you is inside of you already. Use these tools to inspire us all because we all want it. We all need it.

 

You’ll become positive at the same time.

The best part about publishing positivity is that it makes you more positive at the same time. Each day, I’m searching for something positive to share with you all. This makes me so focused on being positive that I’ve forgotten about the negative world that many experience daily.

You get more of what you focus on.

“Publish positivity and you’ll steer clear of the negative nonsense that’s subconsciously holding you back from being the greatest”

 

Positivity compounds.

Yes, that’s right! As you publish positivity, the effect compounds. You start with being just a little bit positive and once you get a few years in, all the wisdom that people like Nelson Mandela had is at your disposal. Positivity builds the greatness that world champions like Nelson Mandela had.

If you want to do something extraordinary with your life (we all do deep down), then you must start with publishing positivity. Find something to talk about and do it with every ounce of passion in your body. Allow yourself to light up and become a beacon of positivity for anyone that can benefit from your advice.

 

Where does this all lead?

Publishing positivity can lead almost anywhere. I never had any clue when I began. I always thought I’d just do it for a bit and then see what happens. Little did I know that publishing positivity can get you access to people, places, opportunities, careers and feelings I never even knew.

Publishing positivity has made every single goal I’ve ever wanted come to life.
Publishing positivity has allowed me to remove my toxic friends and replace them with my heroes.

The possibilities for you when you publish positivity are the same. You’ll get to experience things that you never thought was possible,

It all starts with publishing positivity and being positive.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer. Get started and publish positivity.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Endorphins Are The Key To The Good Life.

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Endorphins And The Good Life. Basketball Motivation

When I was 25 years old, I became a gym junkie. I went four times a week and trained hard with a personal trainer. During that time of my life, I was chasing the physical appearance benefits of going to the gym and training.

I remember feeling really good after every workout. Whenever I felt stressed or upset, going to the gym helped me.

 

Then my life crashed: I stopped.

About two years in, everything in my life went horribly wrong. I ended up leaving a business and starting all over again. I sold everything I had and so I could no longer justify paying a personal trainer. I stopped going to the gym not long after too.

 

Here’s the harsh truth.

Since that day when I quit the gym all those years ago, I’ve never felt the same. The rush that you get from putting your body under pressure and sweating profusely can’t be matched. A few weeks ago, I began reading this book that included a chapter on physical training.

The benefits were highlighted to me again. You’ll increase your endorphin levels triggering a positive response in your body; you’ll increase cardiac volume; you’ll increase insulin sensitivity and that will put you in a better mental state. Oh, and it makes you smarter too.

Endorphins make you smarter by improving blood flow to the brain and boosting growth hormones that produce new nerve cells. They even help release brain chemicals like dopamine, glutamine and serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy.

So obviously going to the gym and having these endorphin things are good for you. Imagine what newfound energy this will bring to your passions in life.

 

What caused me to go back to the gym?

I’d been feeling low on energy despite my healthy diet and I was getting a few headaches. This was literally killing my dreams because I didn’t have the energy I needed to write inspirational content.

 

I came home from the gym and felt on fire!

After my first session back at the gym, I came home and felt on fire. I wrote five blog posts in a matter of hours – they were some of my best work. My mental state was changed and the low energy I was experiencing went away.

 

The food I ate began to change.

When you increase the endorphin levels in your body, I found, that I no longer wanted to eat junk food. I’ve seen the same change in my friends who have gone this route as well. Training at the gym makes you want to refuel and recharge with proper food.

All of a sudden a big greasy pizza just doesn’t feel appealing anymore. You start to crave fruit, vegetables, tofu, seafood and anything that will nourish you and help you train again the next day.

I know this sounds nuts and I promise you it’s true!

 

It’s not just the endorphins.

The endorphin rush is not the only benefit I got from the gym. There were added side benefits that I didn’t even think of.

It’s the discipline you get.
It’s the goals you set.
It’s the changes you see.
It’s the people you meet at the gym.

 

What starts to happen is that you become focused on being just that little bit better each day. Instead of staying the same and not growing in any way, your mindset changes.

“You look for ways to improve your life and the gym becomes the catalyst for it”

It’s only after some deep, meditative thought that I came to this conclusion. Lucky I read that book hey?

 

And wait, there’s more.

I started to smile more. With my mental state changing for the better, I no longer found myself disappointed or pissed off for not having the energy I craved, to live my life.

With all of this extra thinking space, I found myself smiling more. Looking after yourself feels good. If nothing else, it gives you something to be happy about.

 

Anger and stress decreased.

During the first week of gym training, I had a few negative situations I was dealing with at work.

They were really annoying me and I found myself being angry.

This anger led to stress that I hadn’t experienced for a while.

“The gym became an outlet for me to get out of my own head because I was forced to concentrate on the pain and focus needed to do the exercises I had committed to”

Combining the gym with a bit of meditation also helped too.

 

Don’t forget that three letter word (you thought I was going to say Tim but I mean sex baby!)

So far I’ve only spoken about the gym – don’t forget sex as well. Sex releases endorphins. If you want more endorphins, then have more sex!

Now you have two sources of endorphins to play with (pardon the pun).

 

***Final thought***

I know what you’re thinking – because I am Gandhi (joking) – “Tim I already knew all of this. Of course going to the gym is good for you.”

That’s the issue right there. We know lots of stuff and most of the time we still don’t take action on what is good for us. The best way to take action on tasks like going to the gym is to hear someone else’s story.

Stories will inspire you to take action, not knowledge.

Now you’ve heard my story, it’s time to take action. Drag your ass to the gym and start exercising. Don’t forget to sexercise as well (insert wink emoji here)!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Starting The Morning By Making Your Bed Is Stupid – Do This Instead

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Making Your Bed

Ever heard that you should start your morning by completing one small task like making your bed?

This is stupid advice. Don’t follow it.

If you feel like you have achieved something by making your bed, then you’re way off.

Making your bed is a stupid little task that doesn’t make you feel good at all. If you find satisfaction in doing something so small, and you think that’s a good start, it’s not.

“You must do something meaningful to start the day if you want to change the world”

 

Start the morning with something big.

Yup, that’s what I said you little rascal. Do something that matters. For me, that’s writing blog posts like this one, instead of doing chicken little tasks that don’t serve anybody – like making your bed. I recommend starting the day with an epic achievement.

Sit down and write something you are proud of.
Go and train for that sport you love.
Prepare that presentation that is going to change your company.
Wake up and do public speaking first thing.

Now that last one is one I do every fortnight. I wake up at 4 am and go to Toastmasters at 7 am to start the day with a speech. It sets up my entire week and gives me energy. Try it for yourself.

 

Your mind is fresh in the morning – don’t waste it.

As the day moves on, your energy levels get lower (especially if you have a poor diet). This is why starting your day by wasting your valuable energy making your bed is total nonsense!

Don’t make your bed, use your energy for something that will make you fulfilled.
Start the day with something that will make you damn proud of yourself.

When I publish a freshly written article on Adccited2Success at 5 am, I feel on fire. I get to work ready to steamroll over anyone who wants to take me off my purpose. I feel like a lion ready to pounce on its prey and fight any enemy that presents itself.

 

Your bed can wait.

You know what? Your bed can wait. It doesn’t need to be made right this second. You can do hard labor when you get home and you’re tired from the day. Making your bed requires no thinking so don’t waste your mind on it.

“Low energy states are the best time to make your bed, iron your clothes and cook meals”

 

Achieving goals builds momentum.

The reason why I don’t want you to start your day achieving rubbish goals is that it gives you no momentum. Doing something difficult in the morning sets your day up to tackle even more challenging obstacles.

I’d rather you did the big stuff first and then worried about the small stuff like how your rainbow colored doona on your bed looks. Who you trying to impress with your bed anyway?

 

Some days will suck.

Okay, so I’ve made it sound like every day you are going to live like a commando or even GI Joe. Don’t worry I’m not that silly or crazy. There are days that you will suck. You’ll wake up and achieve nothing. You’ll do dumb stuff like make your bed instead of doing something a bit more difficult.

It’s okay. You can’t be Rambo every single day or hour. What I want you to think about here is to spend the majority of your week in a peak state that involves attempting meaningful goals in the morning. Miss a day here and there. Take the weekend off.

Relax, because you can’t always be on like a pit bull ready to attack.

“If you take yourself too seriously, then you’ll start to lose the plot. Your ego will become out of control and you’ll think you are unstoppable and do something dumb like taking a selfie on the side of a skyscraper where you could fall to your death. Don’t laugh; this is now a thing!”

Everything in moderation. You also need balance. Don’t mistake balance, though, for being lazy and doing half-assed stuff like making your bed.

 

Mornings have defined me.

I get dozens of emails asking how I find time to write and do all the crazy things I talk about.

My response is always the morning. Doing big stuff in the morning has allowed me to get a head start on life. I will not accept mediocrity and even when it hurts, I do my best to remember why I put myself through these challenges, day after day.

There’s something about progress that is addictive and it’s a big part of the success formula. The first thing you do shouldn’t be:

– Make coffee
– Drink lemon water
– Look at your phone
– Check your social media followers.

The first thing you should do is bite a chunk off one of your big audacious goals that forms part of your life’s purpose. Now feel free to substitute the word purpose for vision, goals, meaning of your life – I don’t care amigo.

 

Again, do the big stuff.

Let’s rinse and repeat, so you’re clear. Don’t wake up and do little, tiny, meaningless goals like making your bed and wasting the best hours of the day. Wake up and do something that will give you a sense of fulfillment.

Hope we’re clear now. Time to go do the big stuff. The really big stuff!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Do You Really Want Your Goal?

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I was talking to someone I know about their dating experiences. Dating was something that she always had as a goal, but for a long time, she has been single.

She got frustrated when I shared what has worked for me and my experience. I wanted to understand why she hadn’t got to her goal. “I mean if you want something bad enough then what’s stopping you?” I thought to myself.

 

Dreaming is not enough.

She knew what she wanted and she fantasized about it but she had already made a decision not to take action. Thinking about how nice it would be to sit on the beach with the love of your life will not make you happy.

If you want a business do it.
If you want to find love, then do it.
If you want to travel then do it.
If you want to inspire people, then do it.

What’s the point of having a goal if it never becomes a reality? Making a decision is the first step to any goal and then taking action without knowing the result is the next step. Analytical thinking can often distract you from getting started. Having a crystal clear plan is almost never necessary. I wish I could tell you what the love of your life looks like. I can’t.

 

Exaggerating combined with excuses doesn’t work.

This girl I knew exaggerated every aspect of dating. She would say:

“There are no good guys left.”
“People are so harsh these days.”
“Guys are lazy.”
“Online dating doesn’t work.”

“Excuses are like cancer running through your body. It’s easy to find everything that is wrong with the goal you want to achieve”

Of course, stuff is hard….life is hard. What you’ll learn though is that when you do the hard stuff towards your goal, you get the results and feel awesome about it at the same time.

Tell the world why you are going to achieve your goal – don’t tell us why you won’t. What you tell us about your goal ends up becoming the result.

 

Drunk on comparing.

Next, she told me all about how her friends all got the man they wanted and how it was so easy for them. Nothing is easy for any of us. When we commit to putting in the work, we get closer to our goal. The universe doesn’t owe you jack so forget about serendipity, luck and anything that is not based on you getting off your ass and working.

Getting drunk on comparing only distracts you from your own challenge. Everyone’s life story is different and there are no absolutes. The life you think everyone else has that is so wonderful is all an illusion. You don’t see these people you idolize 24 hours a day.

If you did, what you’d see is all the parts of their life they hate. We are all carrying huge problems on our shoulders. My advice to you would be to not focus on these problems. Focus on what you can do to move forward and spend zero time thinking about everyone else who tells you how happy they are.

 

Lacking energy and motivation.

She tells me she is uninspired and lacking energy. My view is that if you avoid your goal and put it off, you’ll end up feeling this way. To say something is a goal and then say it’s okay if you never achieve it is going to guarantee you failure. That’s exactly what she did.

She told me that she is prepared to face the fact she will never find a man. The moment there is a Plan B, you start telling yourself it’s okay. It’s not okay. If you want this goal, then go after it and never give up. Yes, it will take many tough decision and risks to get to your “Happy Place, ” but it’s worth every bit of pain.

The lack of motivation you face is often tied to your goals.

“When you don’t make progress towards your goal, you start to lose sight of the meaning for your life”

It’s not the end of the world though because you can always change your ways and get back on track.

The energy you need to feel alive again is inside of you. All you need is to feel bad enough about your situation to decide change is a must. When achieving your goal is non-negotiable, and nothing else matters, things start to change in your favor.

 

Feeling lonely.

Of course you will feel lonely if you don’t work towards your goal. Being sad and depressed is not a state of mind that will attract people into your life. No one wants to be around this type of person for a long time.

If you don’t like being lonely, then do something about it! You’re lonely because you’re obsessed with yourself and your selfish desires. Move out of that place and into a place of abundance and caring, and your circumstances will change.

The girl in my story is lonely because she doesn’t have a man. She refuses to do something about it and so she get’s what she settles for. There are billions of people on this planet so it’s nearly impossible to be lonely if you decide you don’t want to be.

When you suffer negative feelings, you can decide to make a stand. You can always decide that enough is enough and you’re going to break the pattern of your own limiting thoughts. It’s your thoughts that are limiting you not the world around you.

 

Assumptions are a curse.

The last thing this girl did was assume until she’d left no space to make anything happen. Assumptions make you think you have all the answers and there’s no more research required. Assumptions tell you that you’re very smart when in fact you’re acting like an idiot.

Not trying something because you think you know the outcome is the ultimate failure. You can’t possibly know how every experiment will turn out beforehand so stop trying to. Don’t sit there and tell me that you’ve tried everything to achieve your goal because you damn well haven’t.

You’ve decided to be a sook and let this negative world win because you’re hoping some third party is going to save the day.

You’re hoping that someone else is going to do the work for you and solve all your problems. You’re hoping that someone will feel sorry for you.

Only you can save yourself. The rest of us are trying to save ourselves from our own problems and challenges. This leaves the entitled person out in the cold searching for answers that don’t exist.

There is hope for you.
There are answers within you if you look for them.
Try Self Improvement. Read a few books.

Stop falling in love with the curse that is “assumptions.”

 

***Final thought***

When I hear stories like the one I’ve just shared, I often wonder whether people really want their goals. I think that goals have become a form of convenience to romanticise about something that will probably never happen.

If you really want your goal then take action. Throw your assumptions and excuses in the bin.

Stop settling for second best. Make a decision today to go after that thing you want so badly. Give yourself time to get the results. Most of all, help others in the process.

That’s how you get your goal ladies and gentleman. Ask yourself again: “Do I really want this goal?”
If so, get to work.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

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habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success. (more…)

Janette Getui is a mumpreneur and prosperity guide devoted to showing others how to produce more freedom and opulence in life. She is the co-founder of Bold Beautiful Blissful U and hosts transformational prosperity retreats and masterminds. Known to many as a powerful modern day mystic who has been able to prove through her own journey from the heart of poverty in an African slum to the abundant beach lifestyle that she gets to enjoy in Europe, that overcoming poverty consciousness, limiting beliefs and low self-worth is the fastest way to produce new beginnings and unfold a rich, blissful destiny. Her PH.D in overcoming harsh conditions and mind mastery make connecting with her worthwhile especially if spiritual and financial freedom matters to you. Get her free gift e-book that will enable you to unlock your version of heaven on earth.

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28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. Mike Cross

    May 7, 2015 at 10:34 am

    hi – im the proud volunteer chairman of a grassroots football club in cheshire england – its the little negative comments that always push me over the edge – i need to get rid of my fixed mindset on everything – love the funny voice idea “words will never hurt me”
    Im actually really positive most of the time – i need to focus on fewer things & do them better & just listen to the odd negative & turn it in to a positive

  2. Ilka

    Apr 30, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Hi Andrea!

    That was a really wonderful post with a lot of deep insights. It is interesting how our sub-conscious can trick us and even lead us to sabotage ourselves.

    I love the idea of starring at a wall. I will definitely try this 🙂

    Thanks for sharing, Ilka

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Hi Ilka,

      Thank you for taking time to comment.

      The subconscious can be both a source of pain and the vehicle to guarantee our success. Once we are aware this, can we use it to our advantage and achieve goals we never thought was possible with a previous mindset.

      Best,
      Andrea

  3. Ashley trexler

    Apr 28, 2015 at 11:47 am

    great read! I especially love the part about exploring why you want to refuse something, and finding what the real problem is. That’s so true, for me. Often when I don’t want to do something (a presentation, a meeting) it’s because I’m not confident in my knowledge. When I truly know a subject, presenting isn’t a problem….there’s no fear because there’s no unknown. Great work, Andrea! Keep it up.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:06 am

      Thanks you Ashley! Yes, I found that to be very true about resisting certain things. There’s always a reason for that and it’s better to look into it and asking ourselves the (sometimes painful) question of what really is the source of problem here…. It is rare that people achieve their goals without going through some kind of discomfort in the process. I’m learning to get on with things, however hard they may seem 🙂

  4. Mark Tong

    Apr 28, 2015 at 7:49 am

    Really, really useful tips on a universal problem. I love the silly voice idea – have used that often in the past – I use to try and listen to what my ‘inner voice’ was babbling about but it scared the hell out of me, so now I’ve got a retraining order on it – if it comes within 100 feet, I call the cops.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:09 am

      What a great idea Mark, I haven’t considered that as an option but you’re right! That will do some serious damage to it 😉

  5. Kim

    Apr 27, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    The mind-body connection that you talk about is so true. It is only now that I realize the power of it and work to understand why I’m feeling a certain way instead of simply worrying or doing “whatever it takes,” to avoid it. I’m not always successful, but I am always glad I’ve tried. Thanks for the great article.

    • Andrea

      May 4, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Nice to see you here Kim 🙂

      Yes, we have to keep trying. It’s better to get a handle on these thoughts and emotions than let them handle us!! The good thing is that it becomes easier with time, and once you understand their workings.

      Thanks
      Andrea

  6. Rob

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Andrea, amazing! I’m inspired to think of our minds having a dark side and that listening to our own minds can be like listening to a liar! Now there’s a scary thought.

    I love the idea of exploring why we reject certain opportunities to see what we can find. Areas for improvements, perhaps, or at least conscious recognition of something that deeply concerns us. As you put it so well: acceptance. There’s a sense of empowerment that comes with that and also not taking the negative blabber, as you call it, so seriously.

    For me, the most exciting insight (and affirmation) is surrounding ourselves with the people we aspire to be: those who have trodden the path and know the territory. Those who know how to outsmart the mind and overcome limiting beliefs with ease (great choice on the Michael Jordan quote!)

    I’d go further to say that the sooner, or younger, we do what you suggest, the better our chances of outsmarting the negative self-banter of the mind and the more powerful we become.

    Here’s food for thought: if the ideas and suggestions you share here were offered to young children, what may their chances of greater success be like in adulthood?

    Inspiring stuff, thank you!

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you for your wonderful comment Rob. 🙂

      Indeed, by the time we reach adulthood, we should be all equipped with recognizing when the unhelpful beliefs take over. Alas, a lot of us aren’t even aware of these powerful subconscious trends that define our every being.

      Cheers,
      Andrea

  7. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    “Often what you most avoid is what you should be doing to progress.” I really wish you were wrong about this, so I could continue avoiding certain situations (particularly social ones), but you are so right! Even as I say no, there is a little voice telling me that I need to say yes. But, I stomp out that voice and feel relieved that I have avoided discomfort. Really must work on pushing through the discomfort!

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      Hi Nicki,

      My answer to that would be, you have to make yourself push through the first few occasions. Then there will come a time when you start thinking “What was I worrying about?”. I can think of lots of times when I was terrified of entering a situation, but I actually enjoyed the process. I wouldn’t have known that if I carried on avoiding it. I’m afraid to say you can only do it by taking action. But once you start doing it and you build up enough momentum – you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing some bigger challenges you set.

      Thanks for reading and I hope that helps 🙂

  8. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Great post, Andrea!

    Our brain gives birth to our beliefs, both positive and negative. If we do the hard work to change our limiting beliefs into beliefs that support us, we can become limitless!

    For starters though, I’ll settle with turning down the volume of the unhelpful beliefs. Acceptance and community seem like brilliant strategies for doing so. Like you said, I better get started.

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      Thanks Debashish, and precisely! We are in charge whether we give power to the beliefs that hold us back, or choose to allow those to surface that help us ultimately. I love the idea of growing with a community too – you can make results manifest so much faster than if you were to create those on your own. 🙂

  9. newton emase

    Apr 23, 2015 at 3:46 am

    Thank you andrea for this inspiring article, am a student and this are my limits and for now am trying to prove the inner critic wrong

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      As human beings we are gifted with ability to change our thoughts/behaviors and therefore our perceived limits. Good luck with proving your inner critic wrong Newton!

  10. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    Andrea, Thanks for the reminder on how to tame my unhelpful beliefs.

  11. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Great article Andrea. I especially like the point about checking in with your body. I often find I have tension in my shoulders in certain situations, and it’s a message that usually points to feeling tension about the person or situation for some reason.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      Thanks for leaving a comment Ellen. The body has so much more wisdom than we can explain in terms of science – I guess we can intuitively feel what is wrong if we really tune into and get familiar with these bodily signals.

  12. Wilfried

    Apr 22, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Hi Andrea,

    Great article!
    I like especially that you address negative beliefs, like so many of us have, and how do you get rid of them?

    Cheers
    Wilfried

    • Andrea

      Apr 27, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Hey Wifried,

      It’s funny you know only the other day I was talking to a friend, and we were discussing how so many of us are even unaware of these negative beliefs inside our minds. Shows how powerfully the mind conceals this from our very own eyes. So yes, locate them first, then you can start dealing with them!

  13. Lynn

    Apr 22, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Well done, Andrea. You’ve provided life-changing advice in a straightforward, sensible way.

    I’d sum up as “Don’t always believe what you believe”! So my meditation teacher says 🙂

    • Andrea

      Apr 22, 2015 at 3:29 pm

      Thanks Lynn. I agree with your meditation teacher, though one of the hardest things to do! After all, it all seems so real… and that’s what’s so scary about it. 🙂

  14. Tejaswi

    Apr 22, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Thanks a lot for a great article.
    I really needed this advice… Acknowledging and accepting the limiting beliefs before taming is the most important.

    Thanks again.
    Tejaswi

    • Andrea

      Apr 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

      My pleasure Tejaswi. Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad if it helped 🙂

  15. Raymond Lamar Lee

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Great Article, love the pic

  16. Divsdivya

    Apr 22, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Thanks andrea for sharing the article…..since few days i was reading the articles about the subconcious mind and how will it work in shaping our believes …this articles a simple with nice understandable examples…i liked the way you presented the article…

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Motivation

Want To Be The Greatest? Publish Positivity.

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Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be the greatest in whatever field I entered. Now I am in the top tier of bloggers on the Internet.

 

So your question surely is: “How can I do the same?”

For starters, forget who I am and what I have and haven’t done. It’s not about me; it’s about you. It all starts with you and I’m going to give you the secret.

 

The secret is: Publish positivity.

Whether that’s publishing an email and sending it off, publishing a video online, publishing a blog post, publishing a picture on Instagram.

The key is always to publish something that’s positive.

 

It’s helped me and it can help you.

Everything I have ever published on the Internet since I started this blogging journey is positive. It’s content that is designed to take your life to the next level.

I aim to send chills down your spine.
I aim to get you to think differently.
Most of all, I aim to get you to take positive action.

 

Before all of the positivity, it started with negativity.

The thing is it didn’t start this way. My journey started with a whole lot of negativity and yours is probably similar. That’s the best place to start anything from. With so much negativity, there’s only one place to go – UP!

I always thought that success was only for those born rich. My days were spent finding reasons why something couldn’t be done. I complained all day long about everything I wanted but couldn’t get. I was tired, lonely, frustrated and pissed off at the world. We’ve all been there.

Then someone inspired me by publishing positivity. Now I want to return that favor.

I want everyone to be able to become inspired and then make the same decision as me to publish positivity from now on. Enough is enough.

 

There’s already too much negativity.

I’m fed up with every traditional media outlet talking about nothing other than negativity. Consistent negativity only produces more negativity. There’s no point harping on about what’s wrong and how everything is so challenging to fix. Nothing worth doing is easy.

“If you’re trying to achieve a goal, then you have to publish positivity to stand out and influence all of us”

 

People want to be inspired.

The common theme with everything I have achieved is that I’ve figured out the one hack: People just want to be inspired. It’s really that simple. To be the greatest, you must inspire people.

We all love inspiration because it’s what we’re all lacking. Tell stories and inspire people. That’s how you become the best in the world at anything. We all have a story to tell that can inspire people. Reach inside, and pull out those stories for all of us to hear.

You’ve overcome some obstacle.
You’ve had a difficult time.
You’ve experienced death.
You’ve lost something.

The inspiration we can all learn from you is inside of you already. Use these tools to inspire us all because we all want it. We all need it.

 

You’ll become positive at the same time.

The best part about publishing positivity is that it makes you more positive at the same time. Each day, I’m searching for something positive to share with you all. This makes me so focused on being positive that I’ve forgotten about the negative world that many experience daily.

You get more of what you focus on.

“Publish positivity and you’ll steer clear of the negative nonsense that’s subconsciously holding you back from being the greatest”

 

Positivity compounds.

Yes, that’s right! As you publish positivity, the effect compounds. You start with being just a little bit positive and once you get a few years in, all the wisdom that people like Nelson Mandela had is at your disposal. Positivity builds the greatness that world champions like Nelson Mandela had.

If you want to do something extraordinary with your life (we all do deep down), then you must start with publishing positivity. Find something to talk about and do it with every ounce of passion in your body. Allow yourself to light up and become a beacon of positivity for anyone that can benefit from your advice.

 

Where does this all lead?

Publishing positivity can lead almost anywhere. I never had any clue when I began. I always thought I’d just do it for a bit and then see what happens. Little did I know that publishing positivity can get you access to people, places, opportunities, careers and feelings I never even knew.

Publishing positivity has made every single goal I’ve ever wanted come to life.
Publishing positivity has allowed me to remove my toxic friends and replace them with my heroes.

The possibilities for you when you publish positivity are the same. You’ll get to experience things that you never thought was possible,

It all starts with publishing positivity and being positive.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer. Get started and publish positivity.

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Motivation

Endorphins Are The Key To The Good Life.

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Endorphins And The Good Life. Basketball Motivation

When I was 25 years old, I became a gym junkie. I went four times a week and trained hard with a personal trainer. During that time of my life, I was chasing the physical appearance benefits of going to the gym and training.

I remember feeling really good after every workout. Whenever I felt stressed or upset, going to the gym helped me.

 

Then my life crashed: I stopped.

About two years in, everything in my life went horribly wrong. I ended up leaving a business and starting all over again. I sold everything I had and so I could no longer justify paying a personal trainer. I stopped going to the gym not long after too.

 

Here’s the harsh truth.

Since that day when I quit the gym all those years ago, I’ve never felt the same. The rush that you get from putting your body under pressure and sweating profusely can’t be matched. A few weeks ago, I began reading this book that included a chapter on physical training.

The benefits were highlighted to me again. You’ll increase your endorphin levels triggering a positive response in your body; you’ll increase cardiac volume; you’ll increase insulin sensitivity and that will put you in a better mental state. Oh, and it makes you smarter too.

Endorphins make you smarter by improving blood flow to the brain and boosting growth hormones that produce new nerve cells. They even help release brain chemicals like dopamine, glutamine and serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy.

So obviously going to the gym and having these endorphin things are good for you. Imagine what newfound energy this will bring to your passions in life.

 

What caused me to go back to the gym?

I’d been feeling low on energy despite my healthy diet and I was getting a few headaches. This was literally killing my dreams because I didn’t have the energy I needed to write inspirational content.

 

I came home from the gym and felt on fire!

After my first session back at the gym, I came home and felt on fire. I wrote five blog posts in a matter of hours – they were some of my best work. My mental state was changed and the low energy I was experiencing went away.

 

The food I ate began to change.

When you increase the endorphin levels in your body, I found, that I no longer wanted to eat junk food. I’ve seen the same change in my friends who have gone this route as well. Training at the gym makes you want to refuel and recharge with proper food.

All of a sudden a big greasy pizza just doesn’t feel appealing anymore. You start to crave fruit, vegetables, tofu, seafood and anything that will nourish you and help you train again the next day.

I know this sounds nuts and I promise you it’s true!

 

It’s not just the endorphins.

The endorphin rush is not the only benefit I got from the gym. There were added side benefits that I didn’t even think of.

It’s the discipline you get.
It’s the goals you set.
It’s the changes you see.
It’s the people you meet at the gym.

 

What starts to happen is that you become focused on being just that little bit better each day. Instead of staying the same and not growing in any way, your mindset changes.

“You look for ways to improve your life and the gym becomes the catalyst for it”

It’s only after some deep, meditative thought that I came to this conclusion. Lucky I read that book hey?

 

And wait, there’s more.

I started to smile more. With my mental state changing for the better, I no longer found myself disappointed or pissed off for not having the energy I craved, to live my life.

With all of this extra thinking space, I found myself smiling more. Looking after yourself feels good. If nothing else, it gives you something to be happy about.

 

Anger and stress decreased.

During the first week of gym training, I had a few negative situations I was dealing with at work.

They were really annoying me and I found myself being angry.

This anger led to stress that I hadn’t experienced for a while.

“The gym became an outlet for me to get out of my own head because I was forced to concentrate on the pain and focus needed to do the exercises I had committed to”

Combining the gym with a bit of meditation also helped too.

 

Don’t forget that three letter word (you thought I was going to say Tim but I mean sex baby!)

So far I’ve only spoken about the gym – don’t forget sex as well. Sex releases endorphins. If you want more endorphins, then have more sex!

Now you have two sources of endorphins to play with (pardon the pun).

 

***Final thought***

I know what you’re thinking – because I am Gandhi (joking) – “Tim I already knew all of this. Of course going to the gym is good for you.”

That’s the issue right there. We know lots of stuff and most of the time we still don’t take action on what is good for us. The best way to take action on tasks like going to the gym is to hear someone else’s story.

Stories will inspire you to take action, not knowledge.

Now you’ve heard my story, it’s time to take action. Drag your ass to the gym and start exercising. Don’t forget to sexercise as well (insert wink emoji here)!

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Motivation

Starting The Morning By Making Your Bed Is Stupid – Do This Instead

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Making Your Bed

Ever heard that you should start your morning by completing one small task like making your bed?

This is stupid advice. Don’t follow it.

If you feel like you have achieved something by making your bed, then you’re way off.

Making your bed is a stupid little task that doesn’t make you feel good at all. If you find satisfaction in doing something so small, and you think that’s a good start, it’s not.

“You must do something meaningful to start the day if you want to change the world”

 

Start the morning with something big.

Yup, that’s what I said you little rascal. Do something that matters. For me, that’s writing blog posts like this one, instead of doing chicken little tasks that don’t serve anybody – like making your bed. I recommend starting the day with an epic achievement.

Sit down and write something you are proud of.
Go and train for that sport you love.
Prepare that presentation that is going to change your company.
Wake up and do public speaking first thing.

Now that last one is one I do every fortnight. I wake up at 4 am and go to Toastmasters at 7 am to start the day with a speech. It sets up my entire week and gives me energy. Try it for yourself.

 

Your mind is fresh in the morning – don’t waste it.

As the day moves on, your energy levels get lower (especially if you have a poor diet). This is why starting your day by wasting your valuable energy making your bed is total nonsense!

Don’t make your bed, use your energy for something that will make you fulfilled.
Start the day with something that will make you damn proud of yourself.

When I publish a freshly written article on Adccited2Success at 5 am, I feel on fire. I get to work ready to steamroll over anyone who wants to take me off my purpose. I feel like a lion ready to pounce on its prey and fight any enemy that presents itself.

 

Your bed can wait.

You know what? Your bed can wait. It doesn’t need to be made right this second. You can do hard labor when you get home and you’re tired from the day. Making your bed requires no thinking so don’t waste your mind on it.

“Low energy states are the best time to make your bed, iron your clothes and cook meals”

 

Achieving goals builds momentum.

The reason why I don’t want you to start your day achieving rubbish goals is that it gives you no momentum. Doing something difficult in the morning sets your day up to tackle even more challenging obstacles.

I’d rather you did the big stuff first and then worried about the small stuff like how your rainbow colored doona on your bed looks. Who you trying to impress with your bed anyway?

 

Some days will suck.

Okay, so I’ve made it sound like every day you are going to live like a commando or even GI Joe. Don’t worry I’m not that silly or crazy. There are days that you will suck. You’ll wake up and achieve nothing. You’ll do dumb stuff like make your bed instead of doing something a bit more difficult.

It’s okay. You can’t be Rambo every single day or hour. What I want you to think about here is to spend the majority of your week in a peak state that involves attempting meaningful goals in the morning. Miss a day here and there. Take the weekend off.

Relax, because you can’t always be on like a pit bull ready to attack.

“If you take yourself too seriously, then you’ll start to lose the plot. Your ego will become out of control and you’ll think you are unstoppable and do something dumb like taking a selfie on the side of a skyscraper where you could fall to your death. Don’t laugh; this is now a thing!”

Everything in moderation. You also need balance. Don’t mistake balance, though, for being lazy and doing half-assed stuff like making your bed.

 

Mornings have defined me.

I get dozens of emails asking how I find time to write and do all the crazy things I talk about.

My response is always the morning. Doing big stuff in the morning has allowed me to get a head start on life. I will not accept mediocrity and even when it hurts, I do my best to remember why I put myself through these challenges, day after day.

There’s something about progress that is addictive and it’s a big part of the success formula. The first thing you do shouldn’t be:

– Make coffee
– Drink lemon water
– Look at your phone
– Check your social media followers.

The first thing you should do is bite a chunk off one of your big audacious goals that forms part of your life’s purpose. Now feel free to substitute the word purpose for vision, goals, meaning of your life – I don’t care amigo.

 

Again, do the big stuff.

Let’s rinse and repeat, so you’re clear. Don’t wake up and do little, tiny, meaningless goals like making your bed and wasting the best hours of the day. Wake up and do something that will give you a sense of fulfillment.

Hope we’re clear now. Time to go do the big stuff. The really big stuff!

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Motivation

Do You Really Want Your Goal?

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on

I was talking to someone I know about their dating experiences. Dating was something that she always had as a goal, but for a long time, she has been single.

She got frustrated when I shared what has worked for me and my experience. I wanted to understand why she hadn’t got to her goal. “I mean if you want something bad enough then what’s stopping you?” I thought to myself.

 

Dreaming is not enough.

She knew what she wanted and she fantasized about it but she had already made a decision not to take action. Thinking about how nice it would be to sit on the beach with the love of your life will not make you happy.

If you want a business do it.
If you want to find love, then do it.
If you want to travel then do it.
If you want to inspire people, then do it.

What’s the point of having a goal if it never becomes a reality? Making a decision is the first step to any goal and then taking action without knowing the result is the next step. Analytical thinking can often distract you from getting started. Having a crystal clear plan is almost never necessary. I wish I could tell you what the love of your life looks like. I can’t.

 

Exaggerating combined with excuses doesn’t work.

This girl I knew exaggerated every aspect of dating. She would say:

“There are no good guys left.”
“People are so harsh these days.”
“Guys are lazy.”
“Online dating doesn’t work.”

“Excuses are like cancer running through your body. It’s easy to find everything that is wrong with the goal you want to achieve”

Of course, stuff is hard….life is hard. What you’ll learn though is that when you do the hard stuff towards your goal, you get the results and feel awesome about it at the same time.

Tell the world why you are going to achieve your goal – don’t tell us why you won’t. What you tell us about your goal ends up becoming the result.

 

Drunk on comparing.

Next, she told me all about how her friends all got the man they wanted and how it was so easy for them. Nothing is easy for any of us. When we commit to putting in the work, we get closer to our goal. The universe doesn’t owe you jack so forget about serendipity, luck and anything that is not based on you getting off your ass and working.

Getting drunk on comparing only distracts you from your own challenge. Everyone’s life story is different and there are no absolutes. The life you think everyone else has that is so wonderful is all an illusion. You don’t see these people you idolize 24 hours a day.

If you did, what you’d see is all the parts of their life they hate. We are all carrying huge problems on our shoulders. My advice to you would be to not focus on these problems. Focus on what you can do to move forward and spend zero time thinking about everyone else who tells you how happy they are.

 

Lacking energy and motivation.

She tells me she is uninspired and lacking energy. My view is that if you avoid your goal and put it off, you’ll end up feeling this way. To say something is a goal and then say it’s okay if you never achieve it is going to guarantee you failure. That’s exactly what she did.

She told me that she is prepared to face the fact she will never find a man. The moment there is a Plan B, you start telling yourself it’s okay. It’s not okay. If you want this goal, then go after it and never give up. Yes, it will take many tough decision and risks to get to your “Happy Place, ” but it’s worth every bit of pain.

The lack of motivation you face is often tied to your goals.

“When you don’t make progress towards your goal, you start to lose sight of the meaning for your life”

It’s not the end of the world though because you can always change your ways and get back on track.

The energy you need to feel alive again is inside of you. All you need is to feel bad enough about your situation to decide change is a must. When achieving your goal is non-negotiable, and nothing else matters, things start to change in your favor.

 

Feeling lonely.

Of course you will feel lonely if you don’t work towards your goal. Being sad and depressed is not a state of mind that will attract people into your life. No one wants to be around this type of person for a long time.

If you don’t like being lonely, then do something about it! You’re lonely because you’re obsessed with yourself and your selfish desires. Move out of that place and into a place of abundance and caring, and your circumstances will change.

The girl in my story is lonely because she doesn’t have a man. She refuses to do something about it and so she get’s what she settles for. There are billions of people on this planet so it’s nearly impossible to be lonely if you decide you don’t want to be.

When you suffer negative feelings, you can decide to make a stand. You can always decide that enough is enough and you’re going to break the pattern of your own limiting thoughts. It’s your thoughts that are limiting you not the world around you.

 

Assumptions are a curse.

The last thing this girl did was assume until she’d left no space to make anything happen. Assumptions make you think you have all the answers and there’s no more research required. Assumptions tell you that you’re very smart when in fact you’re acting like an idiot.

Not trying something because you think you know the outcome is the ultimate failure. You can’t possibly know how every experiment will turn out beforehand so stop trying to. Don’t sit there and tell me that you’ve tried everything to achieve your goal because you damn well haven’t.

You’ve decided to be a sook and let this negative world win because you’re hoping some third party is going to save the day.

You’re hoping that someone else is going to do the work for you and solve all your problems. You’re hoping that someone will feel sorry for you.

Only you can save yourself. The rest of us are trying to save ourselves from our own problems and challenges. This leaves the entitled person out in the cold searching for answers that don’t exist.

There is hope for you.
There are answers within you if you look for them.
Try Self Improvement. Read a few books.

Stop falling in love with the curse that is “assumptions.”

 

***Final thought***

When I hear stories like the one I’ve just shared, I often wonder whether people really want their goals. I think that goals have become a form of convenience to romanticise about something that will probably never happen.

If you really want your goal then take action. Throw your assumptions and excuses in the bin.

Stop settling for second best. Make a decision today to go after that thing you want so badly. Give yourself time to get the results. Most of all, help others in the process.

That’s how you get your goal ladies and gentleman. Ask yourself again: “Do I really want this goal?”
If so, get to work.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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