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This 4 Letter F Word Is Why You Still Work At A Job You Hate

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This 4 Letter F Word Is Why You Still Work At A Job You Hate

You hate your job, don’t you? You’re tired of the same schedule and the lousy pay. You’re tired of busting your ass only for your boss to get all of the credit.

You’re tired of begging for days off. You’re sick of working when you’re sick.  You’re fed up with having more work piled on you when you’re busy enough as it is. I’ll bet you weren’t offered a raise when they said you have to take on more responsibility, were you?

You’ve thought about finding a new job or better yet, working for yourself. Perhaps you want to be the one calling the shots and own the whole thing. You dream about taking a day or a week or month off whenever you like. You envision a future where you don’t have to worry about money. You long for the day when you can say that you “made it.” How long have you been thinking like this? Weeks? Months? Years?

What have you done about it?

What action have you taken?

You haven’t have you? Oh sure, you’re on Google every night, looking up websites and information about “how to find the next big idea” or “how do I find my passion.” It’s a start you say! O.k., sure, just not much of one.

Now, on the other side of the coin, there are people who are at the proverbial water’s edge, so to speak. All ready to go but they just can’t make the leap. They’ve done the market research, they’ve figured out how they’re going to incorporate their business, they have a company name and logo and a domain name picked out, and they’ve written a business plan. Everything is in motion, but then they stop. Why?

Drumroll please…FEAR!

You are afraid

Now, don’t get it twisted. You might not be afraid consciously, but make no mistake; subconsciously, you’re scared. What if you fail? What if you go broke? What will my wife or parents or friends think? How will I introduce myself at parties? Here’s the good news, it’s not your fault!

Picture a baby that is developing in its womb. It is warm and sheltered. Its mother keeps it safe from danger. It is provided with the proper foods and nutrients it needs to grow. All of its needs are being met. Now, picture a baby that has just been born. IT’S A MESS! It is traumatized by the birth. It is born into a world where sound is too loud and lights are too bright. It is cold and hungry. It can no longer be fed automatically through the umbilical cord. It is no longer automatically sheltered by the womb inside its mother’s uterus. It is literally cut off from its mother. For all the baby knows, it is alone.

The baby must now rely on others for its survival. They must rely on parents or other adults to feed them and shelter them and provide clothing for them. They must rely on parents or other adults to keep predators away and protect them from disease.

This is where fear in each human being originates. By birth, you are born afraid. You need someone to take care of you. This original fear is the basis for all of our fears. It’s why you wake up every day and dread going to the hell hole you call a job again yet you won’t quit. It’s why you do the same thing every day and think that somehow something will change. Maybe this time it will be different. It won’t.

“I know I was born and I know that I’ll die, the in-between is mine. I am mine.” – Pearl Jam

Take a look at how you got to where you are right now. You followed a pattern, didn’t you?

Pre-school to kindergarten to elementary school to junior high to high school. You were sent to these schools and you were told who your teachers would be, what you would learn, when you could go to the bathroom, when you could eat, when you could play and when you could leave. All of these things were decided for you by others. You didn’t know any better because it’s literally what EVERYONE was doing. So you kept plugging away until you finally graduated high school.

Then what? I’ll bet you were offered only two choices; go to college or get a job. If you look at it, it’s kind of really only one choice because the only reason MOST (not all) of us go to college anymore is because we think it will land us a better paying job. So really, the choices are:

  1. Get a job right away
  2. Get a job 4-6 years from now

So it’s really the same choice with the difference being when you decide to join the work force.

Why do you work?

Now, why do we even need a job? You’ll say that it’s because we need money for a house and cars and to pay back student loans and to buy food and have a retirement and blah blah blah. You’re right but you’re wrong. The reality is that we need others to take care of us. Just like we did when we were born (original fear).

A modern day corporation takes care of you by providing you a paycheck, health insurance, retirement benefits, vacation days, sick days, comp time. All of these are designed to entice you to work there.

In exchange, you do the same thing you did in school. You do what others decide for you. After all of those years of school, you go right back to being told when you can arrive, when you can eat, who you can talk to, what you can wear, who you can date, when your absence is “excused,” what you can work on and when you can leave. You get to help make other people rich. Doesn’t that make you feel just grand inside!

You try to justify all of this by saying that this is “the real world.” These are the sacrifices we have to make to have the things we want. Plus, everyone does this so what’s the big deal?

You do realize that this “reality” is only about a 70 years old right? Out of the thousands upon thousands of years that humanity has roamed the Earth, the “real world” as you are told exists is only about 70 years old, give or take a decade.

Do you think that a person who lived in, let’s say, Rome in the 2nd century was overcome with fraught because they didn’t know how to “find their passion?” I think “when the hell am I going to eat again” was probably a bigger concern.

That is the beauty of all of the things that we have now. We don’t have to worry, for the most part, about where our next meal is going to come from or if we are going to have enough clothes to stay warm. It is a luxury afforded to some of us that we can even think or worrying about “finding our passion.” You can be passionate about a lot of things. Do them all!

You don’t have to rely on corporations to take care of you anymore. All of the technological inventions that we have today have made it possible for you to do things that you used to need permission to do.  The choices aren’t just college or a job anymore. You don’t need giant corporations to give you permission to do things anymore.

Take control of your own life

Here’s a list of things that you can do now, on your own, that you used to have to ask permission from a big corporation to do:

  • Publish your own books.
  • Produce your own movies.
  • Create a podcast.
  • Create your own YouTube channel and have the equivalent of a weekly TV show.
  • Create and promote your own music.
  • Build your own websites.
  • Create your own online courses.
  • Learn how to code.
  • Teach a new skill.
  • Create a business. Drop shipping, subscription businesses, consulting, product businesses, information products.
  • You can be a freelance writer or a freelance editor or a freelance web designer.
  • You can create websites where you don’t own a single thing on the website and make BILLIONS of dollars. These are called platforms. I’m sure you’ve heard of a few.

 

Facebook, Alibaba, YouTube, Twitter, Uber, AirBnB, Craigslist. These companies do not own anything. Take Uber for example. You own the car and you are the one doing all of the work, Uber just gives you a chance to find a customer. You own the room or the house and you are responsible for making sure it’s clean and looks nice, but AirBnB gives you a chance to find a customer. YouTube gives you a place to upload a video or watch others who have uploaded videos. Facebook is just a place where everyone congregates and shares stories about their own lives.

You can hire and outsource work on websites like Fiverr, Elance, Freelancer, or Get Friday. You can find someone who can do pretty much anything that you can think of. The technology is there to 3D print a prosthetic limb for Christ’s sake!

“Time to change has come and gone, watched your fears become your god. It’s your decision”- Alice in Chains

Give yourself room to fail. Take a chance, hire a coach, keep your day job and start a business on the side. Take acting classes, teach a class, learn a foreign language, learn how to code, write that book you have been putting off!

There’s never been a better time to take control of your own life. You don’t need others to take care of you any longer.  The original fear that you were born with does not need to hold you back any longer.

Be responsible for yourself and your own future. Be fearless!

Brandon Grooms is a “fear coach” and blogger at conqueringmyfears.com. He helps people overcome their fears so they can live more meaningful lives. If you are interested in overcoming any of your fears, feel free to email him at info@conqueringmyfears.com.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Toby Nwazor

    Sep 8, 2015 at 4:34 am

    Hey Brandon, I just saw this now. And you are right. Fear really does keep us back.

    Fear of failure. Fear of where the next meal will come from. Fear of rejection. Fear of this fear of that. Many of us are afraid to take the entrepreneurial leap of faith mainly because we are afraid of where the next meal ticket will come from.

    But like you pointed out from the baby illustration, being alive itself is a risk. So is starting a business. But we are not afraid of being alive, why? Because we have no better option, so we do all we can to stay alive. However since our jobs provide us the ‘baby in the womb’ kind of comfort we refuse to take that next plunge.

    You are right, fear really does suck.

    Thanks for writing this. #TeamEntrepreneurship

  2. Mark Reagan

    Aug 23, 2015 at 2:57 am

    Hey Brandon,

    This is a little late, but I just saw this on Facebook: just a heads up but the link in your byline goes to your wordpress admin login and not your front page or a landing page 🙁

  3. Shunmuga

    Aug 18, 2015 at 5:24 am

    What a wonderful article. I am sure by now most of the people working in Corporates are living a fearful life including me.

    Each and every word replicates my situation. I hate my job coz I want to be a free man like what you said in this article. Due to fear I am not taking any steps to start a new business. Hope I will get way this FEAR and start a new business sooon.

    Thanks Brandon Grooms for your good article.

  4. Dotchamou Zakari

    Aug 14, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    I only read the last part of the post and I got hook . Thank you. Our fears destroy all the genius part of our life and we slowly become cog and people who show up on time to get a pay check. What a shame when we know that every human being is a master piece and a miracle! Sadly, we trade all that wonder to a life far below our potential.

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Motivation

Don’t Hurt Your Future Self By Quitting

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“Every decision you make affects someone very special: your future self”

You’ve never met this person, but they are carrying the torch of your dreams. Life is hard for them too except their further along the timeline of life than you. Have you ever wondered what the future you will be like?

It’s something worth contemplating through deep and inward thinking.

When you give up on your dreams and quit, you’re not just hurting you right now, you’re killing the future you as well. That future you is bound by the decisions that you make today. One day you will become that future you and wish you could change that decision to quit. By then, it’s too late to change the past. There ain’t no rewind button on life.

 

Do you really need to quit?

I know you think it’s impossible and your only option is to quit, but that’s because you’ve reached your breaking point. I’ve been there too. I’ve reached a level of failure that has become insurmountable. I too have felt like I couldn’t go on and life had no meaning.

All of your emotional states, at times, can get like this. We’re human after all and don’t you forget that. We live in a flawed body, but that’s why humans are so beautiful in the first place. You don’t need to quit right now; there’s always another way.

 

The best thing to do when you want to quit

This is going to sound cliché: take a break and get out of your head for a few weeks. Go somewhere far, far away and contemplate the meaning of your life and why you’re still here. I say this because your life is a choice. You can decide to end your life at any point, but you haven’t.

You’re not a coward and you’d never do that. You have courage and you’re here for a reason.

 

Quitting may be the best option

Sometimes quitting is a good thing. Sometimes you have too many things on the go and when you quit, you free up time to focus on something that means more to you. My only plea is that you think about your future self when you quit. Think about whether your future self will be affected and whether you’ll be happy with the result.

There are no absolutes in life, only decisions that you make which are guided by your heart. There is no one answer. No one’s right and no one’s wrong. Our circumstances and how we think about them, more importantly, determine the meaning we give to any situation.

 

Who do you want your future self to be?

As you imagine your future self, what is he or she doing? Can you picture where they are? When I asked this question, I got an instant response which reaffirmed what I do today. I instantly saw myself on stage giving speeches to thousands of people.

I saw myself as the person that helps find people’s why and motivates them towards their dreams. I saw myself with a family and writing a best selling book. Strangely enough, I saw my future self as I always have: doing something inspiring to help others. I saw myself unleashing emotion in others to help them push through their limiting beliefs.

 

Now that you know your future self, how can you help them today?

So we’ve done a bit of visualizing in this article already. It’s a powerful way to see what you can become when you don’t quit. It’s a great way to fall in love with the person that you can create in the future by using the power of today’s decisions.

“I think we all need to become dreamers every now and then. If we don’t, we get stuck in today, and in our head full of possibilities”

If I had one tip when it comes to dreaming up the future, it would be this: try and see your future better than it is. Be outrageous and think of possibilities that today would scare you. You’ll be surprised how what you dream up today can become a reality.

I remember suffering from anxiety and trying to dream what it would be like to be rid of it. I remember being scared of flying and always wanting to travel. I remember having never found love and wondering what that would be like. I remember not being able to get in front of lots of people and do any form of public speaking. I remember being too scared to be vulnerable and share the real me.

Now, I’ve completely eliminated my anxiety, I can fly whenever I want with no issues, I have experienced real love, I am on my way to successfully being able to speak in front of larger audiences, and I’m happy to be vulnerable and share my story with everybody. That’s what can happen when you treat your future self with respect.

 

So now what?

Now I want you to do the hard part: take action. Follow the steps above and have some fun. Leave the present for the moment and get to know who you want your future self to be. Your future self is you after all, so you need to treat them like a king or queen.

Write a list of decisions you need to make in order to create the best future you that’s humanly possible. Like I always say, “Don’t be afraid to have big, audacious, crazy dreams.” If you can’t dream it, then you can never achieve it. Remember that next time someone tells you that dreams are BS.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

We All Start With Zero Followers – Comprehenday?

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For the record: followers mean jack, attention is king.

With that said, all of us (including me) started with zero followers. You’re not alone. Whatever your big idea is you are probably going to need people to know about it. The sad truth is that it’s now done via social media.

You’ll need a combination of shares, likes, views, recommends or whatever other form of measurement these crazy social media platforms decide to implement. These metrics equal attention and that’s how people are going to know about what it is that you do.

Let’s not pretend that social media is useless. That would be naïve.

In this bustling, new age world, everyone owns content now. Anyone can go viral and anyone can be heard. Some find this reality a sad fact, but then these same people find something to cry about no matter what so ignore them.

The journey from zero followers to thousands and even millions looks like this:

 

1. We all started somewhere

Quit your complaining we’ve all started at zero followers at some point. Starting with nothing and then building your community up is an amazing feeling. Embrace the journey of creating a following.

The game of comparing follower counts with others will distract you from creating content and force you into consumption mode. Then you’ll over consume and regurgitate all over yourself. Yuck!

 

2. Stop trying to game the system

You can’t buy followers and not have people notice. We can all scan your follower list and see that you cheated. More importantly, the number of followers doesn’t matter.

3. Engagement is everything

Ever seen a social media account with millions of followers and one or two likes/comments per post? That’s because the followers were paid for or tricked into liking the page. I’m going to say it again; the number of followers doesn’t matter.

What matters – if you are creating a community or awareness – is engagement and whether people care about what you’re posting. This can’t be gamed. People will only interact if you are doing and saying stuff that is of value. How do you do that? See the next point.

 

4. It’s not about you and your ego

That’s right. I don’t care, nor does anyone else, about what you had for lunch or who you met at the basketball. What we all care about is what’s in it for me buster?

If you answer that question and do so regularly, people will follow and engage you. That’s how you go from zero followers to millions.

 

5. It takes a while

Zero to a million followers takes times. Like interest on your bank account, your results will compound once you cross the tipping point.

What’s the tipping point?

It’s the point at which you have nailed the following:

– Your message to the world is clear
– It’s consistent (ideally daily)
– It’s unique (not better but different)
– It’s not about you and your ugly ego
– You give more than you ask for (Jab Jab Jab Right Hook)

When you do those things, your follower count and engagement will regularly start to increase.

 

6. You need a breakout moment

The way you do that is my channeling all of your energy and emotion into every piece of content you create. If you do this for long enough, then you’ll eventually have a standout moment. That’s a moment where the world listens and you go viral. It takes time though. You could be waiting five years young Power Ranger.

 

7. Followers like to follow stories

Don’t throw boring stats and pictures at your followers all day, every day. It should come as no surprise that social media works best with stories. The best stories I’ve found are personal stories. Rather than produce content that feeds your ego, put yourself into every story you tell.

 

8. Tell stories that inspire

There are hundreds of types of stories. If I were to encourage you to do one type and one type only it would be to tell inspiring stories. Stories that inspire people to take action, think differently or be emotional about something.

 

9. Say it quickly now!

A story is great but people have a low attention span. This means you’ve got to be able to communicate succinctly. There is a lot of waffle on the Internet. The way to stand out is to plan what you are going to say and cut out the filler. People will love you if they can get value from you and have it delivered in a brief manner. I get this compliment in the form of feedback all the time and I love it.

 

10. There is no one big break

If I look at my online success, there is no one single moment. Going from zero followers and beyond is made up of a whole lot of factors which you’ll never quite work out. What I can tell you though is that all those factors require you to show up.

“Each day you have to show up with something of value to say”

 

11. It doesn’t need to be new necessarily

People think you have to say something new every day. You don’t. Sometimes it’s about saying something in a slightly different way. Sometimes it’s taking a popular idea and saying it in a better way. For me, it’s often about taking something that already exists and saying it in my way, with my story attached.

“Saying something new doesn’t create followers; saying something different does”

12. Find your channel

Everyone’s channel for creating followers is different. Try them all and see which one resonates the best for your niche. Facebook doesn’t really work for me, but Medium and LinkedIn are phenomenal. I would have never known this if I didn’t try them. Experiment like you’re playing with play-doh.

 

13. Quit being romantic

Don’t wait until you have tons of followers to get started. Be the same as you are with zero followers, as you are with a million followers. Being romantic about social media doesn’t work. When I say romantic, it’s kind of the same as saying being precious.

You think you need influence right now. You don’t. You think you need money and lots of it. You don’t. You think you’ll try harder when you’re like Gary Vaynerchuk. You won’t.

So now do you understand that we all start with zero followers and that’s cool bananas?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

5 Empowering Statements That Will Get Rid of Your Fears Once and for All

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In an instant, you go from being nowhere to being -now here- in the land of the living! Ever wondered how that all happens? In the morning when you wake up, isn’t it just another ordinary miracle how we all of a sudden find ourselves lying in bed, on planet earth and all the stored data of our lives just comes pouring in. One minute you were “who knows where” the next you’re back into “planet earth.”

This is all fascinating, but have you ever had one of those days when as soon as you awaken to the new day, you almost wish it was already over? I mean the thought of crawling out of bed and facing your day is just daunting.

That used to be my kind of morning not sometimes,  but every single day. No matter what I told myself, I just abhorred the new day or the thought of getting out of bed. The muscles in my body ached although it didn’t make sense. I wasn’t sore from exercising because back then, I didn’t even know what exercise was.

“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves.” – Cheryl Strayed

Each morning that same sick feeling in my stomach would show up, yet I wasn’t sick. In my head, being awake was just as awful as being asleep because the nightmare that was tormenting my life seemed to follow me everywhere, like a dark shadow.

That was the theme of my life back when all I knew was survival and painstaking hustle. It wasn’t until I made some very major decisions in my life that I started to experience a life free from pain, depression, constant sadness and anger.

And while today I live an extremely different reality from what once tormented me, I do realize that many people are still struggling with irrational fears. As far as their reality is concerned, there’s nothing irrational or trivial about how they feel and what they have to deal with each day.

The burden of life is weighing on their shoulders. Whether or not they are occupying a leadership position or simply just want to survive the current upheaval our society is facing, there is a great need for humanity to be reminded of what’s real.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” – Mandy Hale

This is why I want to share with you statements which will work for you if you have been feeling tormented by the burdens of life and false conditioning. Even if you didn’t grow up in the midst of poverty and harsh conditions like I did, there’s so much junk in one’s mind often clouding your path of prosperity and success.

So on those days when you wake up and your morning feels anything other than miraculous, feed your mind with these 5 statements:

1. I overcome my fear of anything and everything and I live life courageously.

2. I need not to fear. Because fear is not of the present but of the past and future, both of which do not exist in the now.

3. I believe this situation/condition will work out for good and all those concerned. Though I may not know how, I still choose to believe this for myself today and I step into my day eager to find opportunities rather than obstacles.

4. I will not be discouraged or let outside forces dictate what I know to be true in my own heart. I will not allow the opinion of another to kill my dream or wound my heart. This is about being myself, expressing my authentic voice and recognizing that no one else can do it for me.

5. I am no longer a victim and I cease blaming my situation and the people around me for how I feel as this only robs me of joy and success. Because I know I was born to win and succeed, I will press on, firmly grounded in my own power to change my life for the better and empower others to do the same.

Share with us below your special statements and empower those like you who are striving for a better life!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Motivation

Unhappy Is Not In Your Vocabulary – You Are A Champion

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I am honored to be here to deliver this message to you. Everyone needs it including your successful friends. We all have tough days which make us unhappy. The road is long and torturous for all of us.

You can’t let that deter you from your goal. Unhappiness is all around us and it will take over if you let it. It’s around every corner, there, smiling at you every time you fail.

Your default belief when the odds are against you is what will keep you moving forward. If you always see the best of every situation then unhappiness won’t win….you will. Trust the mission and trust yourself.

Have faith that you are here for a reason even if you don’t know why just yet. Not all the answers are known to us right now, but over the course of your life, they will be revealed. Like a surprise birthday party, you will be wowed. Even when the surprise is not what you wanted, don’t be unhappy. Unhappy is not in your vocabulary.

Let the hairs on the back of your neck stand tall. Let your body stand tall at the same time and feel the power that hides within all of us. Only you can unlock that power and crush unhappiness to pieces.

 

The word “unhappy” can be removed from your vocabulary.

Every time you are faced with a situation that doesn’t make you feel good, you can choose to see it as a positive. You are in control of what happens day to day.

I don’t just give this advice lightly. I too, have had to deal with this same challenge that you also deal with. Unhappiness is part of the human experience and we get to decide whether we feel it. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how it makes us feel.

This super power only comes with practice and discipline. It’s not our default way of living and it’s tough to master. Then again, what is there in life that’s worth achieving that isn’t hard work huh?

 

Travel the world and see new places.

Bring a fresh perspective to your life when you feel like unhappiness may be winning. Start by getting away from the source or changing your surroundings. If all of these YouTube weight loss transformations are true then determination is what you are lacking.

How bad do you want to be happy and stop being unhappy? You can get the results you want faster when you deal with your own situation and decide to help others with their journey at the same time. This is possible because once you take the focus off yourself things start to change.

Doors that were always closed start to become open. People you only dreamed of spending time with come into your life and give you the added support that all champions have.

 

You’re only unhappy because you tell yourself you are.

This victim mentality that you’ve adopted is what is at the source of your unhappiness. Take the word away and replace it with a word that inspires you. Tell yourself stories of your potential and what you can achieve and you’ll begin to rewrite the story of your life.

Every time I feel like I could use the victim word called “unhappy,” I think of all the work I do to serve others with my blogging. I think of the inspiration that is inside of me which I deliver week in week out without fail. It’s not some passing habit because I’ve done it now for three years.

I’m never giving up this mission even if it kills me. Reread those words again because I believe you can think the same way. I’m not special and have the same capacity you do.

 

Keep asking the question.

The answer will come to you if you ask enough times. Unhappiness can come out of not knowing what the meaning of your life is. There is a meaning, though, it’s just that you haven’t put the work in to find it. It’s easier to distract yourself with food, friends, social media or some other vice than it is to keep asking the tough questions.

The tough questions bring out emotion and it’s this emotion that will change your life. Emotion is what drives you to make the hard decisions that most avoid.

“Don’t be afraid to harness your emotions to drive you towards the answer to your one and only question: why am I here?”

When you know why you’re here the unhappiness feeling starts to fade. It’s difficult to explain but very common in the biographies of champions.

 

Are you a champion?

I think we all are deep down inside. Surfacing that inner champion is where the games at.

“Champions can’t be unhappy because they’ve removed the word from their vocabulary”

Their focus is on their mission and this takes them away from any sense of loss. Everything is abundant and all resources are available to the champion that seeks them. Practice being the champion and forget about being the unhappy victim. Label challenging situations with a word that is *not* unhappy.

Pick empowering words. Change your vocabulary. The words you use to describe your life will make more of a difference than you realize. Adopting that label of a champion first begins with adopting the vocabulary of one.

You’re strong.
You won’t be defeated.
You are happy.
You are determined.
You are unique.

You are not unhappy.

———————————————————————————————————————————

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life

5 Powerful Reasons Why You Should Commit to Lifelong Learning

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Education is commonly equated to an experience for children and young adults, but the reality is that lifelong learning can benefit you in many ways. The world is constantly changing, and this means that you must be open to absorbing and actively seeking new information to stay up-to-date. This, of course, expands far beyond education in your area of professional expertise. (more…)

Helen Eagleton, a freelance blogger from Boston, follows topics in the realm of education, technology, digital marketing, and business in general. When she’s not researching for her next article, she enjoys watching documentaries and exploring the nature. Reach her @eagleton_helen.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Toby Nwazor

    Sep 8, 2015 at 4:34 am

    Hey Brandon, I just saw this now. And you are right. Fear really does keep us back.

    Fear of failure. Fear of where the next meal will come from. Fear of rejection. Fear of this fear of that. Many of us are afraid to take the entrepreneurial leap of faith mainly because we are afraid of where the next meal ticket will come from.

    But like you pointed out from the baby illustration, being alive itself is a risk. So is starting a business. But we are not afraid of being alive, why? Because we have no better option, so we do all we can to stay alive. However since our jobs provide us the ‘baby in the womb’ kind of comfort we refuse to take that next plunge.

    You are right, fear really does suck.

    Thanks for writing this. #TeamEntrepreneurship

  2. Mark Reagan

    Aug 23, 2015 at 2:57 am

    Hey Brandon,

    This is a little late, but I just saw this on Facebook: just a heads up but the link in your byline goes to your wordpress admin login and not your front page or a landing page 🙁

  3. Shunmuga

    Aug 18, 2015 at 5:24 am

    What a wonderful article. I am sure by now most of the people working in Corporates are living a fearful life including me.

    Each and every word replicates my situation. I hate my job coz I want to be a free man like what you said in this article. Due to fear I am not taking any steps to start a new business. Hope I will get way this FEAR and start a new business sooon.

    Thanks Brandon Grooms for your good article.

  4. Dotchamou Zakari

    Aug 14, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    I only read the last part of the post and I got hook . Thank you. Our fears destroy all the genius part of our life and we slowly become cog and people who show up on time to get a pay check. What a shame when we know that every human being is a master piece and a miracle! Sadly, we trade all that wonder to a life far below our potential.

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Motivation

Don’t Hurt Your Future Self By Quitting

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“Every decision you make affects someone very special: your future self”

You’ve never met this person, but they are carrying the torch of your dreams. Life is hard for them too except their further along the timeline of life than you. Have you ever wondered what the future you will be like?

It’s something worth contemplating through deep and inward thinking.

When you give up on your dreams and quit, you’re not just hurting you right now, you’re killing the future you as well. That future you is bound by the decisions that you make today. One day you will become that future you and wish you could change that decision to quit. By then, it’s too late to change the past. There ain’t no rewind button on life.

 

Do you really need to quit?

I know you think it’s impossible and your only option is to quit, but that’s because you’ve reached your breaking point. I’ve been there too. I’ve reached a level of failure that has become insurmountable. I too have felt like I couldn’t go on and life had no meaning.

All of your emotional states, at times, can get like this. We’re human after all and don’t you forget that. We live in a flawed body, but that’s why humans are so beautiful in the first place. You don’t need to quit right now; there’s always another way.

 

The best thing to do when you want to quit

This is going to sound cliché: take a break and get out of your head for a few weeks. Go somewhere far, far away and contemplate the meaning of your life and why you’re still here. I say this because your life is a choice. You can decide to end your life at any point, but you haven’t.

You’re not a coward and you’d never do that. You have courage and you’re here for a reason.

 

Quitting may be the best option

Sometimes quitting is a good thing. Sometimes you have too many things on the go and when you quit, you free up time to focus on something that means more to you. My only plea is that you think about your future self when you quit. Think about whether your future self will be affected and whether you’ll be happy with the result.

There are no absolutes in life, only decisions that you make which are guided by your heart. There is no one answer. No one’s right and no one’s wrong. Our circumstances and how we think about them, more importantly, determine the meaning we give to any situation.

 

Who do you want your future self to be?

As you imagine your future self, what is he or she doing? Can you picture where they are? When I asked this question, I got an instant response which reaffirmed what I do today. I instantly saw myself on stage giving speeches to thousands of people.

I saw myself as the person that helps find people’s why and motivates them towards their dreams. I saw myself with a family and writing a best selling book. Strangely enough, I saw my future self as I always have: doing something inspiring to help others. I saw myself unleashing emotion in others to help them push through their limiting beliefs.

 

Now that you know your future self, how can you help them today?

So we’ve done a bit of visualizing in this article already. It’s a powerful way to see what you can become when you don’t quit. It’s a great way to fall in love with the person that you can create in the future by using the power of today’s decisions.

“I think we all need to become dreamers every now and then. If we don’t, we get stuck in today, and in our head full of possibilities”

If I had one tip when it comes to dreaming up the future, it would be this: try and see your future better than it is. Be outrageous and think of possibilities that today would scare you. You’ll be surprised how what you dream up today can become a reality.

I remember suffering from anxiety and trying to dream what it would be like to be rid of it. I remember being scared of flying and always wanting to travel. I remember having never found love and wondering what that would be like. I remember not being able to get in front of lots of people and do any form of public speaking. I remember being too scared to be vulnerable and share the real me.

Now, I’ve completely eliminated my anxiety, I can fly whenever I want with no issues, I have experienced real love, I am on my way to successfully being able to speak in front of larger audiences, and I’m happy to be vulnerable and share my story with everybody. That’s what can happen when you treat your future self with respect.

 

So now what?

Now I want you to do the hard part: take action. Follow the steps above and have some fun. Leave the present for the moment and get to know who you want your future self to be. Your future self is you after all, so you need to treat them like a king or queen.

Write a list of decisions you need to make in order to create the best future you that’s humanly possible. Like I always say, “Don’t be afraid to have big, audacious, crazy dreams.” If you can’t dream it, then you can never achieve it. Remember that next time someone tells you that dreams are BS.

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Motivation

We All Start With Zero Followers – Comprehenday?

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For the record: followers mean jack, attention is king.

With that said, all of us (including me) started with zero followers. You’re not alone. Whatever your big idea is you are probably going to need people to know about it. The sad truth is that it’s now done via social media.

You’ll need a combination of shares, likes, views, recommends or whatever other form of measurement these crazy social media platforms decide to implement. These metrics equal attention and that’s how people are going to know about what it is that you do.

Let’s not pretend that social media is useless. That would be naïve.

In this bustling, new age world, everyone owns content now. Anyone can go viral and anyone can be heard. Some find this reality a sad fact, but then these same people find something to cry about no matter what so ignore them.

The journey from zero followers to thousands and even millions looks like this:

 

1. We all started somewhere

Quit your complaining we’ve all started at zero followers at some point. Starting with nothing and then building your community up is an amazing feeling. Embrace the journey of creating a following.

The game of comparing follower counts with others will distract you from creating content and force you into consumption mode. Then you’ll over consume and regurgitate all over yourself. Yuck!

 

2. Stop trying to game the system

You can’t buy followers and not have people notice. We can all scan your follower list and see that you cheated. More importantly, the number of followers doesn’t matter.

3. Engagement is everything

Ever seen a social media account with millions of followers and one or two likes/comments per post? That’s because the followers were paid for or tricked into liking the page. I’m going to say it again; the number of followers doesn’t matter.

What matters – if you are creating a community or awareness – is engagement and whether people care about what you’re posting. This can’t be gamed. People will only interact if you are doing and saying stuff that is of value. How do you do that? See the next point.

 

4. It’s not about you and your ego

That’s right. I don’t care, nor does anyone else, about what you had for lunch or who you met at the basketball. What we all care about is what’s in it for me buster?

If you answer that question and do so regularly, people will follow and engage you. That’s how you go from zero followers to millions.

 

5. It takes a while

Zero to a million followers takes times. Like interest on your bank account, your results will compound once you cross the tipping point.

What’s the tipping point?

It’s the point at which you have nailed the following:

– Your message to the world is clear
– It’s consistent (ideally daily)
– It’s unique (not better but different)
– It’s not about you and your ugly ego
– You give more than you ask for (Jab Jab Jab Right Hook)

When you do those things, your follower count and engagement will regularly start to increase.

 

6. You need a breakout moment

The way you do that is my channeling all of your energy and emotion into every piece of content you create. If you do this for long enough, then you’ll eventually have a standout moment. That’s a moment where the world listens and you go viral. It takes time though. You could be waiting five years young Power Ranger.

 

7. Followers like to follow stories

Don’t throw boring stats and pictures at your followers all day, every day. It should come as no surprise that social media works best with stories. The best stories I’ve found are personal stories. Rather than produce content that feeds your ego, put yourself into every story you tell.

 

8. Tell stories that inspire

There are hundreds of types of stories. If I were to encourage you to do one type and one type only it would be to tell inspiring stories. Stories that inspire people to take action, think differently or be emotional about something.

 

9. Say it quickly now!

A story is great but people have a low attention span. This means you’ve got to be able to communicate succinctly. There is a lot of waffle on the Internet. The way to stand out is to plan what you are going to say and cut out the filler. People will love you if they can get value from you and have it delivered in a brief manner. I get this compliment in the form of feedback all the time and I love it.

 

10. There is no one big break

If I look at my online success, there is no one single moment. Going from zero followers and beyond is made up of a whole lot of factors which you’ll never quite work out. What I can tell you though is that all those factors require you to show up.

“Each day you have to show up with something of value to say”

 

11. It doesn’t need to be new necessarily

People think you have to say something new every day. You don’t. Sometimes it’s about saying something in a slightly different way. Sometimes it’s taking a popular idea and saying it in a better way. For me, it’s often about taking something that already exists and saying it in my way, with my story attached.

“Saying something new doesn’t create followers; saying something different does”

12. Find your channel

Everyone’s channel for creating followers is different. Try them all and see which one resonates the best for your niche. Facebook doesn’t really work for me, but Medium and LinkedIn are phenomenal. I would have never known this if I didn’t try them. Experiment like you’re playing with play-doh.

 

13. Quit being romantic

Don’t wait until you have tons of followers to get started. Be the same as you are with zero followers, as you are with a million followers. Being romantic about social media doesn’t work. When I say romantic, it’s kind of the same as saying being precious.

You think you need influence right now. You don’t. You think you need money and lots of it. You don’t. You think you’ll try harder when you’re like Gary Vaynerchuk. You won’t.

So now do you understand that we all start with zero followers and that’s cool bananas?

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Motivation

5 Empowering Statements That Will Get Rid of Your Fears Once and for All

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fears

In an instant, you go from being nowhere to being -now here- in the land of the living! Ever wondered how that all happens? In the morning when you wake up, isn’t it just another ordinary miracle how we all of a sudden find ourselves lying in bed, on planet earth and all the stored data of our lives just comes pouring in. One minute you were “who knows where” the next you’re back into “planet earth.”

This is all fascinating, but have you ever had one of those days when as soon as you awaken to the new day, you almost wish it was already over? I mean the thought of crawling out of bed and facing your day is just daunting.

That used to be my kind of morning not sometimes,  but every single day. No matter what I told myself, I just abhorred the new day or the thought of getting out of bed. The muscles in my body ached although it didn’t make sense. I wasn’t sore from exercising because back then, I didn’t even know what exercise was.

“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves.” – Cheryl Strayed

Each morning that same sick feeling in my stomach would show up, yet I wasn’t sick. In my head, being awake was just as awful as being asleep because the nightmare that was tormenting my life seemed to follow me everywhere, like a dark shadow.

That was the theme of my life back when all I knew was survival and painstaking hustle. It wasn’t until I made some very major decisions in my life that I started to experience a life free from pain, depression, constant sadness and anger.

And while today I live an extremely different reality from what once tormented me, I do realize that many people are still struggling with irrational fears. As far as their reality is concerned, there’s nothing irrational or trivial about how they feel and what they have to deal with each day.

The burden of life is weighing on their shoulders. Whether or not they are occupying a leadership position or simply just want to survive the current upheaval our society is facing, there is a great need for humanity to be reminded of what’s real.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” – Mandy Hale

This is why I want to share with you statements which will work for you if you have been feeling tormented by the burdens of life and false conditioning. Even if you didn’t grow up in the midst of poverty and harsh conditions like I did, there’s so much junk in one’s mind often clouding your path of prosperity and success.

So on those days when you wake up and your morning feels anything other than miraculous, feed your mind with these 5 statements:

1. I overcome my fear of anything and everything and I live life courageously.

2. I need not to fear. Because fear is not of the present but of the past and future, both of which do not exist in the now.

3. I believe this situation/condition will work out for good and all those concerned. Though I may not know how, I still choose to believe this for myself today and I step into my day eager to find opportunities rather than obstacles.

4. I will not be discouraged or let outside forces dictate what I know to be true in my own heart. I will not allow the opinion of another to kill my dream or wound my heart. This is about being myself, expressing my authentic voice and recognizing that no one else can do it for me.

5. I am no longer a victim and I cease blaming my situation and the people around me for how I feel as this only robs me of joy and success. Because I know I was born to win and succeed, I will press on, firmly grounded in my own power to change my life for the better and empower others to do the same.

Share with us below your special statements and empower those like you who are striving for a better life!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Motivation

Unhappy Is Not In Your Vocabulary – You Are A Champion

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I am honored to be here to deliver this message to you. Everyone needs it including your successful friends. We all have tough days which make us unhappy. The road is long and torturous for all of us.

You can’t let that deter you from your goal. Unhappiness is all around us and it will take over if you let it. It’s around every corner, there, smiling at you every time you fail.

Your default belief when the odds are against you is what will keep you moving forward. If you always see the best of every situation then unhappiness won’t win….you will. Trust the mission and trust yourself.

Have faith that you are here for a reason even if you don’t know why just yet. Not all the answers are known to us right now, but over the course of your life, they will be revealed. Like a surprise birthday party, you will be wowed. Even when the surprise is not what you wanted, don’t be unhappy. Unhappy is not in your vocabulary.

Let the hairs on the back of your neck stand tall. Let your body stand tall at the same time and feel the power that hides within all of us. Only you can unlock that power and crush unhappiness to pieces.

 

The word “unhappy” can be removed from your vocabulary.

Every time you are faced with a situation that doesn’t make you feel good, you can choose to see it as a positive. You are in control of what happens day to day.

I don’t just give this advice lightly. I too, have had to deal with this same challenge that you also deal with. Unhappiness is part of the human experience and we get to decide whether we feel it. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how it makes us feel.

This super power only comes with practice and discipline. It’s not our default way of living and it’s tough to master. Then again, what is there in life that’s worth achieving that isn’t hard work huh?

 

Travel the world and see new places.

Bring a fresh perspective to your life when you feel like unhappiness may be winning. Start by getting away from the source or changing your surroundings. If all of these YouTube weight loss transformations are true then determination is what you are lacking.

How bad do you want to be happy and stop being unhappy? You can get the results you want faster when you deal with your own situation and decide to help others with their journey at the same time. This is possible because once you take the focus off yourself things start to change.

Doors that were always closed start to become open. People you only dreamed of spending time with come into your life and give you the added support that all champions have.

 

You’re only unhappy because you tell yourself you are.

This victim mentality that you’ve adopted is what is at the source of your unhappiness. Take the word away and replace it with a word that inspires you. Tell yourself stories of your potential and what you can achieve and you’ll begin to rewrite the story of your life.

Every time I feel like I could use the victim word called “unhappy,” I think of all the work I do to serve others with my blogging. I think of the inspiration that is inside of me which I deliver week in week out without fail. It’s not some passing habit because I’ve done it now for three years.

I’m never giving up this mission even if it kills me. Reread those words again because I believe you can think the same way. I’m not special and have the same capacity you do.

 

Keep asking the question.

The answer will come to you if you ask enough times. Unhappiness can come out of not knowing what the meaning of your life is. There is a meaning, though, it’s just that you haven’t put the work in to find it. It’s easier to distract yourself with food, friends, social media or some other vice than it is to keep asking the tough questions.

The tough questions bring out emotion and it’s this emotion that will change your life. Emotion is what drives you to make the hard decisions that most avoid.

“Don’t be afraid to harness your emotions to drive you towards the answer to your one and only question: why am I here?”

When you know why you’re here the unhappiness feeling starts to fade. It’s difficult to explain but very common in the biographies of champions.

 

Are you a champion?

I think we all are deep down inside. Surfacing that inner champion is where the games at.

“Champions can’t be unhappy because they’ve removed the word from their vocabulary”

Their focus is on their mission and this takes them away from any sense of loss. Everything is abundant and all resources are available to the champion that seeks them. Practice being the champion and forget about being the unhappy victim. Label challenging situations with a word that is *not* unhappy.

Pick empowering words. Change your vocabulary. The words you use to describe your life will make more of a difference than you realize. Adopting that label of a champion first begins with adopting the vocabulary of one.

You’re strong.
You won’t be defeated.
You are happy.
You are determined.
You are unique.

You are not unhappy.

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