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5 Ways to Find the Motivation to Move Forward in Times of Defeat

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5 Ways to Find the Motivation to Move Forward in Times of Defeat

Life rarely works out as planned. There are situations and circumstances in each of our lives that are out of our control and lead to moments of anger and despair. There are times when we start a journey to make big changes in our life only to end up failing miserably.

During those times, it’s hard to even function—much less stay motivated to push forward in our lives. It feels easier to give up and hide under the covers. Those moments and that failures hurt, but offers some of life’s greatest lessons if you can just push through the pain.

I was homeless. I dropped out of high school. I lost my father and grandfather. I chased a big dream and experienced devastating failure every step of the way. I used the five ways below, to find a way to stay motivated to push forward despite wanting to give up. I hope they can motivate you as well.

Here are 5 ways to stay motivated despite wanting to give up:

 

1. Take a step back and put things into perspective

In that moment, you’re full of raw emotion. You’re angry, depressed, and tempted to react physically. Before you do something you’ll regret later, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Spend a few minutes breathing deeply and focus on being in that moment with a clear mind. Calm down and refocus on what would be your best way to proceed. Realize that no matter how bad it feels, you can and will recover. You’re still alive and have a chance to make things better. Ask yourself if what you’re going through will even matter five years from now?

 

2. Focus on the things you are grateful for in your life

It’s been proven that an attitude of gratitude and its benefits are not a myth. When you focus on what you’re grateful for, it’s hard to stay focused on the negative. You quickly see that life has blessed us, and despite what you’re feeling, you have a lot in your life that could be much worse. In that moment of frustration, start listing off three to five things you are grateful for in your life. Let the gratitude replace those other emotions.

“Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universes. You open the door through gratitude.” – Deepak Chopra

3. Get lost in music you enjoy listening to

Science has shown music’s ability to calm and soothe human beings. There are songs each of us loves, and that has the power to brighten our mood. When you’re feeling frustrated or unmotivated, pull out your smartphone and find some music you enjoy. Spend 30-minutes ignoring all the things you need to do and let the music get your mind right.

 

4. Consume content that inspires you

We live in what is called the “Information Age.” Today, we can be inspired by podcasts, articles, books, and videos. The cool thing is that we can get all of this inspiring content through our smartphones. Your daily routine should include time to find the content that inspires you, and absorb and implement it in your life. In moments when you want to give up, go back to your favorite piece of content that inspires you.

 

5. Write down lessons that you can use later

As I said before, the moments that frustrate us can be times to learn. We learn valuable life lessons that only failure can teach us. If your life was perfect, and everything always went right, you wouldn’t develop the character traits you learn during hard times. After you have taken a moment of peace, and listened to music, start thinking about the lessons to be learned and avoided next time. Write down those lessons.

“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.” – Zig Ziglar

As you read this, I’ll be speaking at conferences in Spain and Morocco. I have a full schedule of travel all over the world this year. I’m working on my third traditionally published book, and I live in Maui, Hawaii. I found a way to make it through the hard times and now wake up every day living my dream life. I feel confident you can, too.

Getting and staying motivated starts with consistently doing the “inner work.” You should spend time each day and week understanding yourself better and spend time becoming the best version of yourself. By consistently working on improving yourself, you’ll have the strength to battle self-limiting beliefs.

This is your life, and you only get one of them. At that moment that seems overwhelming, you have a choice to make. You can give up or choose to get back up and do whatever it takes to reach your life goals. Too many people will choose to give up—life is too short to join them.

How do you stay motivated during hard times?

I used to deliver bread for a living, now I write. You can see my words in cool places such as the Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, Mind Body Green, the Good Men Project, Fox News, and many more. My books have sold over 100,000 copies and my new book, Stop Chasing Influencers, drops later this year. In the last three years, I’ve lost 170 pounds and moved our family to Maui, Hawaii. My goal is to help you create freedom in your work, health, and relationships and live your dream life. Join me at KimanziConstable.com and Kimanzi Constable on Facebook.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Elizabeth T

    May 22, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Thank You! Very Much Helpful.

  2. Rose Costas

    Oct 12, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Thanks Kimazi for sharing your story. You are now helping so many others through difficult times including myself. I have hard some major set backs in life and am just beginning to feel whole again. As my grandmother always says “you cannot have a testimony without going through the test” you have been tested and have lived to be a testament to hard work and not ever giving up. Thanks for sharing and good luck.

  3. Brandon Villano

    Oct 10, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    It’s ridiculous how much information is out there to consume whenever we want. I don’t think we realize how much this content affects our moods – so I like how you point out that it needs to be content that INSPIRES you.

    Just doing away with the depressing content, like the daily news with its negative sensationalism or people’s complaining on facebook, can also beef up your motivation.

  4. Tanner

    Oct 9, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    My motivation to get through.. is “just get it done and over with” lol… it may not seem very lets say.. effective, but just think if something is very bad, just think, get it done and over with and you wont worry about it anymore because its in the past 😛

  5. Esther Mellar

    Oct 7, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    Hi Kimanzi,

    I love how you refraim difficult situations as opportunity to grow.
    What helps me to stay motivated is to tell myself that it is supposed to be difficult, that is is just part of the process and I have to push trough.
    Have a safe trip!

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Motivation

Money Making a Difference – Examples of Billionaires Using Their Money for Good

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How billionaires use their money
Image Credit: Tony Hsieh

How many times have we wished to be in the shoes of a billionaire? People often daydream of having a ten digit bank account, and what they’d be doing with it. In an instant, we’d picture luxury yachts, extravagant sports cars, the finest wine and jewellery, and a whole lot of things which are difficult to pronounce. It is truly difficult to separate wealth and luxury. (more…)

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Motivation

6 Lessons You Can Learn from The King of the Jungle

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lessons you can learn from a lion
Image Credit: Unsplash

Do you watch documentaries on lions? If yes, then you must have seen that they dominate their territory and are apex predators. Lions are among the strongest animals in the world, and no one dares to confront or challenge them. They are called ‘kings’ because they have a touch of royalty in everything they do. From eating habits where 20-25 royal members dine at the same to conquering huge lands. A lion always has a bold attitude and lives like a true ruler. (more…)

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Motivation

The Guide to Staying Motivated While Working Alone

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how to stay motivated when working alone
Image Credit: Unsplash

Working alone at home might sound like a nightmare to some, but as a fully signed up introvert, working alone at home is an absolute dream. No energy-draining small talk, no noisy distractions, just peace and quiet to complete deep and focused work. Well not quite. Working alone at home has more challenges than you might expect. Boredom, lack of focus and lack of motivation to name a few.

When you start working for yourself, you quickly realise that one of the biggest problems you face isn’t the job itself. Maintaining your motivation poses a potentially huge difficulty. Much of that difficulty stems from working alone, rather than in a traditional office setting. There is also the challenge of staying focused on the task at hand. With no boss or supervisor looking over your shoulder, social media can distract or cat videos interrupt you.

But the greatest problem by far is a simple lack of motivation. There doesn’t seem to be a pressing need to finish this project right now, making it far too easy to put it off until later. Left unchecked, a lack of motivation can cripple the work you are trying to accomplish. Over the past few years I’ve developed a few go-to tactics to improve my lone working motivation.

Here are some of the tools I’ve used to stay motivated and on-task.

These first few tips focus on using different tweaks in your personal work schedule to provide some variety and maintain your focus.

1. Include short breaks

My eye doctor once told me that for every 20 minutes of staring at a computer screen, you should look away and focus on something across the room for 20 seconds. This gives your eyes a chance to reset. Do something similar with the rest of your body; don’t just look across the room, walk, jog, or run across the room. Give your body a break, and try to reset your thoughts. If you don’t have the discipline to take regular breaks, use an app to remind you.

2. Block out an afternoon for social activities and networking

Set aside one afternoon a week for your social life. Friday afternoon works best for me. If you feel guilty about not working, think of it as a chance to network. Either way, be sure to spend this section of time with other people. Socialise and network.

3. View your personal schedule as your work schedule

A 9-to-5 job requires getting up every morning, preparing for the day, leaving the house, and commuting to your workplace. In other words, it requires going to work. You want to recreate the same rhythm at home. You may not actually need to leave your house in order to work, but try to stick with the schedule. Filling the old job timeslot with your new work helps to keep you motivated – you can’t clock out early!

These next few tips are little things you can do to trick yourself into staying focused!

1. Music

This tip may sound cliché, but try listening to an upbeat song loudly whenever you feel unmotivated. It’s a simple trick, but a surprisingly effective one!

2. Have somewhere else to work for a change of scenery

When procrastination sets in, sometimes a quick change of scenery is all you need. If you work at home, going to your favourite café can be a huge help. Other freelancers I know have even gone so far as to hire office space outside the home, and rotate between the two to help stay on-task.

3. Love what you do

This is arguably the most critical point on the whole list. If you don’t love what you do, it will be hard to keep yourself motivated – particularly long-term. Sure, you may be able to push on through sheer force of will for a while, but sooner or later you’ll lose motivation entirely. Do something you genuinely enjoy, and you’ll find it much easier to stick with it for the long haul.

These last few tips are Industry-related!

1. Make sure you have fun projects

Not all of your work projects will be fun, but fight to make at least a couple of them fun. These might even be personal side projects, not particularly related to your main job. Or they might be in the same general field, but not your specific focus.

2. Attend industry events a couple of times a year

Nearly every imaginable industry has an organising body of some kind. Find the local branch, and use it to keep tabs on industry-related events. Attend some seminars, network, and maybe even glean some new tips and tricks from industry insiders.

3. Schedule at least one call a week to learn something within your industry

View this as an opportunity for personal development. At least once a week, try to learn something new about your industry. For me, this might mean calling a new tool provider to demonstrate their gadgets. Whatever your industry, try to expand your horizons a little bit every week. You’ll learn new methods and make new connections at the same time.

These tips worked for me, hopefully, some of them will help you out as well. Above all, strive to enjoy what you do, stick to a “work schedule,” and look for opportunities for constant self-improvement. With those ideas in mind, you’ll find staying motivated much easier to do alone or in a group!

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Motivation

7 Ways Yoga Effectively Motivates You to Achieve Success

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how yoga motivates you

Yoga is an appointment with your own self. It is time to meet your true self and receive a return ticket to your true nature that is bliss and happiness. You will naturally feel happy while doing yoga. Many people don’t realize they are in a distressed state until it’s too late. The same thing happened with me when I failed to understand my life’s circumstances. I was struggling with a lack of motivation, depression, insomnia, and maintaining my personal relationships, which eventually started affecting my physical health.

Last year, I struggled with depression and general anxiety disorder. I was constantly chasing after money, a lucrative career, happiness, and success. I was afraid that if I told my colleagues about my mental health issues, they would criticize me and eventually it would hamper my progression and I would not be taken seriously.

Last winter, my responsibilities in life increased in a short period of time, which created a lot of anxiety. It began to disturb my mood at home as I was unable to relax and felt low. I hated my own egotistical self because I was an extremely competitive individual as well. I always felt that I did not have the career of my dreams and I was not where I aimed to be. It felt like I was failing because I was not able to attain any of the goals I set in my own life.

I decided to share my emotions and feelings with someone who could potentially make things easier for me. I ended up explaining my struggles and mental illness to my manager. His reaction was amazing because he thanked me for being honest, and he introduced me to yoga. I am happy that I made this decision because it felt better after sweating it out in the Yoga workshop.

Yoga helped me in focusing on what I truly had, instead of on what I didn’t have. I learned how to embrace my competitive side and to use it in a way that pushed me to become a happier person. Yoga taught me that instead of wasting most of my life chasing after success and competing with others, I had to let life run its natural course. Happiness and success will then come to us naturally.

Below I have listed some reasons as to why yoga works effectively to motivate yourself to achieve success:

1. It Solves Your Problem

When it comes to challenges and tackling problems, yoga works amazingly. When you get on a yoga mat and begin to practice, you are made to deal with everything that comes to you and asked to face it gracefully. In turn, this increases your focus and patience levels, so that you will be able to face the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges at every turn.

2. It Lowers Your Anxiety and Stress

Yoga doesn’t mean that you will heal instantly, but constant practice can help you destress. The simple breathing and moving exercises can help a lot in releasing your tension and anxiety. 

Yoga helps in stretching your muscles by relaxing them as most of the stress and tension is stored there. The breathing exercises energize your body by increasing the blood flow, which eventually refreshes your body and mind. The daily practice of yoga makes you aware of the surroundings by making you control your emotions and stress.

“Learn to relax. Your body is precious, as it houses your mind and spirit. Inner peace begins with a relaxed body.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Increase Your Focus

Yoga helps improve your focus through the breathing exercises you do during the yoga postures. It relaxes the body and mind so you can think clearly, and in time build up the ability to concentrate. 

Yoga is focused on concentration, breathing,  and the alignments. Additionally, yoga’s claimed to bring mental and physical relaxation by energizing the parasympathetic nervous system, and this is the reason why yogis sleep well at night. No wonder they have such a healthy and a stress-free lifestyle.

4. It Helps in Redefining Success

Real success comes when you use yourself to your full capability. It does not matter what you become, the only thing that matters is that you are living your life to your full potential. 

If you want to be successful, then you must see everything just the way it is, without any distortion. Yoga helps you with just that. Through practicing yoga daily, you will start to see the results and live more joyfully.

5. It Boosts Your Health

Mental health affects your work and your physical health. Your physical health can drastically  affect your work as it will make you work less and take more time off, which will lead to lined-up pending assignments. 

Yoga helps your body with almost every physical problem. Yoga increases your blood flow, oxygen, and improves your circulatory system. All the postures of the Bikram yoga help to improve the flow of fresh and oxygenated blood to every part of the body and mind.

“Move your joints every day. You have to find your own tricks. Bury your mind deep in your heart, and watch the body move by itself.” – Sri Dharma Mittra

6. Gives Mindfulness and Makes You Present

Mindfulness teaches us to become more present at any given moment. It makes us more aware and conscious of our inner thoughts, feelings, emotions, and hence makes us strong enough to control our actions towards situations. 

Practicing breathing in yoga teaches you to experience and live each moment to the fullest. Over time, yoga will help you live in a deep sense of fulfillment and inner peace, which will ultimately help you in making the right decision for yourself and your team.

7. Stay Aware and Positive

A yogi tends to have a balanced outlook on life. Yoga sessions of meditations, breathing exercises, and mindfulness will aim at making you conscious and aware of yourself. Additionally,  it will open up new possibilities of understanding your true self. 

Yoga also aims at making you a positive person, and the effects of yoga are not limited to relaxation after a workout but are exceptionally long-lasting. Yoga makes you attain the attitude of gratitude that helps you identify the brighter side of life.

To achieve success through yoga, you must adapt it into your day to day life because having good health is a basic necessity to live a happy and healthy life and no one but you can keep yourself healthy.

Have you tried yoga? If so, share with us how it’s positively impacted your life below!

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