Connect with us

Life

Why Self-esteem Is Different From Confidence and How to Build Both Effectively

Published

on

self confidence

As humans, we sort of depend on certain qualities and traits. For example, self-esteem and self-confidence (or confidence) are two fundamental personality traits that we need in our lives. Quickly before you think about each of the terms, let’s define what each of them means.

Self-esteem: How you feel about yourself and about what you do. It’s your sense of self-worth, in a world full of other individuals just like you. When you have self-esteem you believe that you deserve to be happy, and you believe that you deserve the respect of others.

Self-confidence: The self-assurance in one’s personal strengths, judgments, and decisions. When you believe that you can achieve something, you’re basically confident that you’re going to make it. It’s just like a feeling of trust in your own abilities.

The connection between these two personality traits is quite significant. Even though it’s normal for high self-esteem individuals to also be self-confident, the two qualities can also thrive separately. For example, I know someone who’s extremely talented at painting and firmly believes in his ability to create art.

Even though he’s extremely talented and he knows it, he refuses to share his art with other people. He has big self-esteem issues and believes that his work will be negatively judged.

Why do we need to develop both our self-esteem and confidence?

The previous example were meant to highlight the fact that the lack of self-esteem could generate many disempowering effects. Loss of talent is one of them.

Let’s make it clear, self-discipline and self-esteem are qualities that can be developed. It’s not like you get born and die with them. If you want to change, you can have the change. I very often suggest people around me to take full responsibility for their lives.

I’d like to do the same. In case you’re already aware of your issues, taking responsibility and committing to change is the best thing that’s going to make you a better person. Fulfillment and happiness can never be achieved unless one truly believes that he has the ability to earn them, and also that he deserves them.

Here are 5 effective ways to improve both your self-confidence and self-esteem at the same time:

1. Start Taking Consistent Action

Taking action with purpose is the best way to set yourself on the right path. Here’s how to proceed:

  1. Set three long-term goals – brainstorm more and choose the most important three
  2. Split them into small and more manageable goals – it could be monthly/weekly
  3. Focus on each independently and make small steps towards results
  4. BE CONSISTENT and never give up

Taking consistent action will give you momentum to keep going. Whatever you want to achieve (emotional freedom, a better job, better relationships), start doing it now. There’s no better advice than this, even though you have probably heard it before.

“Consistent actions creates consistent results.” – Christine Kane

2. Analyze Your Self-Talk

If you want to change the way you feel, you must listen to your other voice. I bet that you’re always allowing your other voice to take over your mind. You even listen to it frequently, and it often gets you in trouble.

Fear of failure and the lack of self-esteem creates negative self-talk. This affects you on all levels, as most of our self-talk is negative. Start making a distinction between the two voices and stop allowing the big mouthed monster in your brain take the control again.

3. Contribute to The Well-Being of Others

When you’re good to others, you get a feeling that you were sent on earth with a purpose. That sense of purpose is extremely healing for people with low self-esteem. When another human being honest thanked you for your kind deeds, your heart gets filled with joy. If you do more good to the world, that feeling will persist and will eventually become a part of you. Sooner than you expect, your self-esteem levels will skyrocket.

4. Respect and Reward Yourself Every Now and Then

Every one of us has good days and bad days. Every person has problems and sorrows. We’re not perfect, and we’ll never be. It’s important to remember the fact that sometimes we go through good times, sometimes we go through bad times. When the bad times arrive, be prepared.

Respecting your boundaries, your actions, yourself, and your time is essential to your well-being and fulfillment. Besides that, you should also consciously reward yourself from time to time. Go out, do something you enjoy, buy something that you’ve always wanted. The feeling of reward is often helpful for cultivating better self-confidence and self-esteem.

“Self-respect knows no considerations.” – Mahatma Gandhi

5Truly Commit to Change

Again, I’m not going to surprise you with some unusual and ineffective strategy. Instead, I’m going to tell you the truth again. If you’re not committed to progress and change, it’s never going to happen. You’ll be stuck in your state up until you personally decide that you’ve had enough.

This is what it means to take responsibility for your life. No one is supposed to spend their life in fear, disappointment, and unhappiness. These personality traits should always be advantageous instead of the opposite.

Life is much more beautiful if you live it with full confidence and self-esteem. Who says you can’t be happy? Who says you can’t do what you want to do? Everything you think, or more specifically what other people think…it’s all subjective. You can always change the way you perceive the world. You can find new meanings and purposes, and you can live your life intensively and happily.

In your opinion, what is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Advertisement
1 Comment

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

Published

on

Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Continue Reading

Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

Published

on

By

what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

Published

on

sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

Published

on

How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending