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The Most Life-Altering Act of Self-Care You Need to Try

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Solitude and self-care have become a commodity. Markets are trying to sell us face-packs that can restore blemishes on our skin and mental imbalance. Ridiculously expensive “silent retreats” with their life-changing testimonials drive us to believe this is what we need to live a better life. There’s a special tea you should drink during your “me time.” This overpriced bath salt will help you get a life-altering meditative bath.

I often wondered if solitude and self-care are just a capitalistic fad with no gains for me. It sounded like something only pseudo-spiritual gurus would advise. I detested spending time alone and considered it a waste of my time. The real truth was introspection was terrifying. Spending time alone with my thoughts sent a shiver down my spine. I turned many stones to never run out of company. 

But all of it had to change when I moved for college and began to live with my extended family. They had demanding jobs that didn’t allow them to come home before dinner. And my classes were lax – I could manage to get good grades by only going twice a week. This bound me to spend my days alone in a quiet two-bedroom flat.

This time, there was no running away from my thoughts. You can only watch so much TV to drown out the noise of your own brain, you know? But in a few months, my loneliness converted to solitude. It wasn’t easy. I was often lonely. I had to sit and make peace with my own self, tackle the monster of my self-reflection, and gain a forced self-awareness that only solitude can bring about. 

Now, I guard my time alone with a fierce force. It is non-negotiable and necessary to maintain my sanity. And it is no surprise that I am happier than I had ever been before. Company is still frequent, but I have the audacity (and craving) to shut my door.

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.” – Dalai Lama

It is not just that solitude helps you increase concentration, productivity, and self-awareness. I believe it is a radical act of self-care. Finding time alone with the stimulation of the technology devices we have amidst us is challenging. It is not only out of comfort-zones, so many times it is also out of reach. How much easier it is to just keep texting, watching, emailing when you’re alone rather than just being with yourself and not doing anything? I get it. I have been there – it gets hard to prioritize “me time” when there’s so much on your plate. 

Here are 3 ways you can create time alone – even if you have a jam-packed calendar:

1. Weekend Disconnect 

I set time aside each day to turn off my phone, my laptop, and my brain. But I know it is not possible on some days. Life can be demanding. Work gets too much, or my family needs attention. The way out is to make time on the weekends to disconnect. It might be only one day, but that day would be non-negotiable. It is much easier to find time once a day in the week to disconnect rather than to find time every day. This time is for you to unplug. No notifications, no work, no distractions. You can do anything you like with this time – wander around the block, nap, write, paint, etc. You create a space of silence where you can hear yourself.

2. Get Up For You 

Getting up early is a goldmine of getting things done. Instead of getting up earlier only when there’s a big presentation at work, get up earlier for yourself. Just half an hour to yourself every morning can do miracles. You can also sleep a little later to carve out this time, but I’d recommend the early mornings rather than the late nights. Don’t check your phone, laptop, or emails at this time. Completely unplug. If some nagging problem’s solution comes to you at this hour, I wouldn’t be surprised. Solitude does wonders for all kinds of inner and outer dragons.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

3. Schedule Pockets of Alone Time 

If none of the above work for you, mark some time in your calendar just for yourself. Schedule it without guilt or embarrassment of not doing something rather “productive.” This time alone is the most productive use of your time. Trust it. 

I maintain a schedule of going to the park alone after lunch every day. It is only 20 minutes, but my brain feels brand new after coming back. And you don’t need to go anywhere to carve this me-time, just ask everyone not to disturb you unless it’s an emergency. There’ll be none 99% of the days. 

If you are having an incredibly hectic day, couple your me-time with lunchtime. Don’t spend it checking emails, running errands, or deepening networks on LinkedIn. Spend it with yourself. Eat alone without phones or screens. 

At the end of the day, you’ll be grateful that you made some time for solitude. Negotiating a mindless task for spending time alone is the barter in which not only you win – your relationships prosper, your work improves, and you become a better version of yourself. So, do it, have the courage to shut the door.

Rochi Zalani is a staff writer at Elite Content Marketer who relishes fresh poetry. She talks about books, poems, and the troubles of everyday life. If you believe there is nothing that cannot be cured by some Mary Oliver poetry or a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode, subscribe to her weekly newsletter.

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A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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