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The Most Life-Altering Act of Self-Care You Need to Try

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Solitude and self-care have become a commodity. Markets are trying to sell us face-packs that can restore blemishes on our skin and mental imbalance. Ridiculously expensive “silent retreats” with their life-changing testimonials drive us to believe this is what we need to live a better life. There’s a special tea you should drink during your “me time.” This overpriced bath salt will help you get a life-altering meditative bath.

I often wondered if solitude and self-care are just a capitalistic fad with no gains for me. It sounded like something only pseudo-spiritual gurus would advise. I detested spending time alone and considered it a waste of my time. The real truth was introspection was terrifying. Spending time alone with my thoughts sent a shiver down my spine. I turned many stones to never run out of company. 

But all of it had to change when I moved for college and began to live with my extended family. They had demanding jobs that didn’t allow them to come home before dinner. And my classes were lax – I could manage to get good grades by only going twice a week. This bound me to spend my days alone in a quiet two-bedroom flat.

This time, there was no running away from my thoughts. You can only watch so much TV to drown out the noise of your own brain, you know? But in a few months, my loneliness converted to solitude. It wasn’t easy. I was often lonely. I had to sit and make peace with my own self, tackle the monster of my self-reflection, and gain a forced self-awareness that only solitude can bring about. 

Now, I guard my time alone with a fierce force. It is non-negotiable and necessary to maintain my sanity. And it is no surprise that I am happier than I had ever been before. Company is still frequent, but I have the audacity (and craving) to shut my door.

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.” – Dalai Lama

It is not just that solitude helps you increase concentration, productivity, and self-awareness. I believe it is a radical act of self-care. Finding time alone with the stimulation of the technology devices we have amidst us is challenging. It is not only out of comfort-zones, so many times it is also out of reach. How much easier it is to just keep texting, watching, emailing when you’re alone rather than just being with yourself and not doing anything? I get it. I have been there – it gets hard to prioritize “me time” when there’s so much on your plate. 

Here are 3 ways you can create time alone – even if you have a jam-packed calendar:

1. Weekend Disconnect 

I set time aside each day to turn off my phone, my laptop, and my brain. But I know it is not possible on some days. Life can be demanding. Work gets too much, or my family needs attention. The way out is to make time on the weekends to disconnect. It might be only one day, but that day would be non-negotiable. It is much easier to find time once a day in the week to disconnect rather than to find time every day. This time is for you to unplug. No notifications, no work, no distractions. You can do anything you like with this time – wander around the block, nap, write, paint, etc. You create a space of silence where you can hear yourself.

2. Get Up For You 

Getting up early is a goldmine of getting things done. Instead of getting up earlier only when there’s a big presentation at work, get up earlier for yourself. Just half an hour to yourself every morning can do miracles. You can also sleep a little later to carve out this time, but I’d recommend the early mornings rather than the late nights. Don’t check your phone, laptop, or emails at this time. Completely unplug. If some nagging problem’s solution comes to you at this hour, I wouldn’t be surprised. Solitude does wonders for all kinds of inner and outer dragons.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

3. Schedule Pockets of Alone Time 

If none of the above work for you, mark some time in your calendar just for yourself. Schedule it without guilt or embarrassment of not doing something rather “productive.” This time alone is the most productive use of your time. Trust it. 

I maintain a schedule of going to the park alone after lunch every day. It is only 20 minutes, but my brain feels brand new after coming back. And you don’t need to go anywhere to carve this me-time, just ask everyone not to disturb you unless it’s an emergency. There’ll be none 99% of the days. 

If you are having an incredibly hectic day, couple your me-time with lunchtime. Don’t spend it checking emails, running errands, or deepening networks on LinkedIn. Spend it with yourself. Eat alone without phones or screens. 

At the end of the day, you’ll be grateful that you made some time for solitude. Negotiating a mindless task for spending time alone is the barter in which not only you win – your relationships prosper, your work improves, and you become a better version of yourself. So, do it, have the courage to shut the door.

Rochi Zalani is a staff writer at Elite Content Marketer who relishes fresh poetry. She talks about books, poems, and the troubles of everyday life. If you believe there is nothing that cannot be cured by some Mary Oliver poetry or a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode, subscribe to her weekly newsletter.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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