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The Most Important Psychology Hack You Should Know

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psychology hack
Image Credit | Joel Brown

How many times have you seen a sign that says “Don’t touch; wet paint” and wanted to touch the wet paint? How many times have you seen that sign, ignored it, and done the thing you’ve been explicitly told not to do?

If you’re anything like me, I’m guessing a lot! (But maybe I’m just a rebel like that.) Don’t think of a red tree. Did you think of the red tree? You thought of the tree, didn’t you? Even though I specifically told you not to think of a red tree…that’s what you did.

Weird, right? Maybe this seems funny. But it also touches on deeply rooted psychological forces that influence our everyday experience and our relationship with ourselves.

 

Be careful what you tell yourself

How many times have you said to yourself…“Don’t mess this up,” or “Don’t be an idiot,” or “I don’t want to fail”?

Psychologically, what do you think happens when you say these things? Your mind latches onto messing up, being an idiot, being a failure. The unconscious mind can’t handle the word “don’t.” The concept doesn’t compute. The math doesn’t make sense.

When you say “I don’t want to fail,” you’re giving your brain nearly infinite ideas to ponder over. Infinity minus one, to be precise. The one being “don’t fail.”

Not very good odds. Because your brain can’t possibly comprehend all of these possibilities, it focuses on the one thing you have given it: failingYou end up focusing on the one thing you didn’t want to focus on.

 

Change what you’re telling yourself

What would happen if you changed “I don’t want to fail” to “I want to succeed”?

It would be like changing “don’t think of a red tree” to “think of a red tree”. When you don’t want to think of a red tree, you end up thinking about a red tree because “infinity minus one” possibilities is too many to handle. You’re setting yourself up for failure. You’re directly undermining your intention.

On the other hand, when you want to think of a red tree, it’s easy to call it to mind. You choose to think of something you want. You choose to be specific over being abstract.

If you live your life saying “I don’t want”, thinking about all the things you don’t want, that’s exactly what you’ll end up with.

If you live your life saying “I want”, thinking about all the specific things you do want, that’s exactly what you’ll end up with.

What experience do you have with this method? Has it worked for you? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
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Life

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Find True Happiness

Comparison is the thief of joy; it robs us of our happiness, self-esteem, and peace of mind

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How to stop comparing yourself to others
Image Credit: Midjourney

In today’s hyperconnected world, it’s easier than ever to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn constantly bombard us with curated highlights of other people’s lives, making it seem like everyone else is happier, more successful, and more fulfilled than we are. (more…)

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Life

Harness the ‘Battery Effect’ to Transform Life’s Tensions into Your Greatest Strength

Recharge your life batteries by shifting your mindset today

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Battery effect in life
Image Credit: Midjourney

I believe our life capacity is determined by the skillsets we develop on this spinning rock we call Earth. By “life capacity,” I mean our ability to embrace and sustain joy. (more…)

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Life

Doing This for 30 Minutes a Day Can Unlock Your Full Potential

Taking just 30 minutes a day to learn something new improved my life

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30 minutes of daily learning
Image Credit: Midjourney

Between the demands of work, life, and the never-ending cycle of bills, we often put our development, learning, and self-improvement at the bottom of our daily to-do lists. (more…)

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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