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The 5 Ethics of Life You Need to Know About

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I recently read the 5 Ethics of Life from The Wise You. I believe these 5 principles offer a great deal of wisdom for living a very successful life.

1. Listen Before You Speak

Every successful person I have ever worked with has developed the ability to listen.

I was directing a basketball clinic in New York and went to dinner with a high school coach and the legendary UCLA coach, John Wooden. Coach Wooden’s UCLA teams won 7 NCAA National Basketball Tournaments in a row and 10 in the last 12 years he coached. I don’t think either of these feats will ever be eclipsed.

If you had been at that dinner and you thought speaking was the key to intelligence, you would have thought the high school coach was John Wooden and Coach Wooden the high school coach. The high school coach did most of the talking and one of, if not the best, team coach in the history of American sport did most of the listening.

My daughter, Colleen, is a lawyer who worked exclusively in the Hedge Fund industry. She often had to negotiate contracts where a great deal of money was on the table. So, everyday when she opened her computer, she read this quote, “I won’t learn anything today by talking; but I will learn today by listening.”

2. Earn Before You Spend.

I worked at a university where budgets were quite tight. When we needed more dollars in our athletic individual sport budgets or to expand something for all our sports, we were often told to earn or fundraise the money needed. I was involved with both these areas as I was the basketball coach and the athletic director/chair.

To better serve our student-athletes we needed to expand our weight room. Many of the athletes we recruited were from high schools where the weight rooms were bigger and better than what we had at our university. To accomplish this expansion, we had to raise the money. We reached our goal through the initiation of a golf outing that continues to serve athletics today.

The same problem existed with our basketball budget. Our budget was inadequate to serve our players the way they deserved to be served. Once again, we had to earn the money before we could spend it. So, we started a  clinic for Chicago area coaches. The clinic enhanced our budget by 38%. 

It would have been nice to be given the money for these two necessities, but by earning the money before we could spend it, we were very judicious in our spending.

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba

3. Think Before You Write.

I believe I learned two valuable lessons from two good friends on thinking before writing.

My first lesson came from a very successful businessman. His advice was that it was okay to write about something you were angry about. However, don’t send it that day. His wisdom was to read it the next morning when you had cooled off, tear it up, and then rewrite it.

My second important lesson was directed to the writing segment of thinking before you write. A successful college administrator taught me this. As a leader you often have a colleague come to you with an idea he is excited about. If you begin talking about it at that moment, that conversation may end up taking two hours of your day.

Instead of talking about it when he/she brings their idea to you, tell them to put it in writing, bring it back to you, and the two of you will discuss it. This philosophy makes them think before they write. Their new concept(s) will be more concise and more organized when they come to the discussion.

One other thought about people interrupting your day with their ideas. A professor at Notre Dame said he complained for 25 years that he could get little done at work because of all the interruptions. Then in his 26th year, he realized the interruptions were his work.

Leaders must listen to the interruptions because they are important to the people bringing them. However, you benefit both them and you when you tell them to think, then write.

4. Try Before You Quit.

Thomas Edison is said to have failed in 10,000 experiments before he founded electricity. He must have had a strong FQ – Failure Quotient. He could and did fail often but he had the resiliency to keep getting back up.

Abraham Lincoln, considered by many to be one of, if not the best, president in American history, lost the great majority of all the elections he ran in before being elected president. Like Edison, he had a strong FQ.

The movie, RUDY, may be the best example of combining trying with a strong FQ that I have seen in my lifetime. I know Rudy Ruettiger quite well and the movie accurately portrays the many obstacles he had to overcome to get admitted to Notre Dame and to become a walk-on with the football team. I am positive he was the only person in his life who believed he could accomplish either dream!

It is easy to quit; it is tough to try, most especially when the odds are not in your favor.

The title of the Reverend Robert Schuller’s outstanding book represents the most important concept in trying – Tough Times Don’t Last but Tough People Do. 

5. Live Before You Die.

I was fortunate to be asked to present basketball camps and clinics in some European countries. These events presented great opportunities for me to live before I died.

This travel offered me a great learning experience. One of the best parts of these trips was how educational they were. They brought me to places I never would have seen in my lifetime were it not for basketball.

In Belgium coaches took me to Ardennes where one of the most important battles in World War II was fought, The Battle of the Bulge. After the Allied Forces won this battle, the Germans retreated for the rest of the war. I will never forget looking at the pillars which listed all the states where American soldiers who were killed in that battle lived.

In Ireland I saw the beauty of the Ring of Kerry and the extraordinary Cliffs of Moher, but it was the warmth and the incredible hospitality of the Irish people that I remember most.

In Austria the coaches brought me to a concentration camp. Although I had read a great deal about the holocaust, I was not prepared at all for what I saw. It was the most eerie feeling I have ever had in my life. It is unbelievable that the Nazis could even think of, let alone do, the atrocities that were done in that camp and camps throughout Europe. 

In Greece I went to the Acropolis. There are no tall buildings in Athens because from ever building the Acropolis must be seen. It was a long walk to the top, so I asked the coaches how did the workers carry all the marble to the top of the hill when they were building before the life of Christ? Their answer was – SLOWLY!

When we traveled with our team throughout the United States, we tried to have our players live before they died. They had the opportunity to go to Cooperstown in New York: Fenway Park in Boston; the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville; the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in Salt Lake City; Juarez, Mexico while playing in El Paso; skiing in Colorado; and the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco to name a few. Our trips were much more than basketball.

Final Thoughts

These 5 Ethics or principles can lead to a most successful life:

  • Listen. Before You Speak.
  • Earn. Before You Spend.
  • Think. Before You Write.
  • Try. Before You Quit.
  • Live. Before You Die.

Pat Sullivan was a successful coach, teacher, and administrator in the Chicago area for 44 years – 10 years at the high school level and 34 at the collegiate level. His basketball teams won 602 games; he was named Coach-of-the-Year 11 times; and he has been inducted into 8 Halls of Fame. He has received Lifetime Achievement awards from Lewis University, the Joliet, Illinois, Chamber of Commerce, and the Illinois Basketball Coaches Association. Pat has offered basketball clinics and camps in Austria, Ireland, Belgium, and Greece and has spoken at clinics throughout America for the USA Coaches Clinics. He has also spoken to business executives from IBM, Accenture, and Sun Microsystems, as well as the University of Notre Dame’s Play Like A Champion conference. He is the author of Attitude-The Cornerstone of Leadership and Team-Building: From the Bench to the Boardroom.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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