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The 21 Day Rule That Can Change Your Life

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Nothing changes in a day. But a lot can happen in 21 days. Various researchers have different viewpoints on the concept of the formation of habits within 21 days. Some researchers reveal that it takes about 66 days while some researchers unfold that it takes 30 days to build habits.

The 21-day rule

To form habits, you must work hard sincerely and consistently for 21 days. You may have to struggle for a few days to acquire habits but once you start working hard you will be amazed to find yourself forming good habits. Similarly, if you want to grow out of any bad habit, control yourself for a few days, and you will be astonished to find yourself free from that bad habit. For instance, you want to hit the gym regularly at 4 AM. For a few days, you would struggle to get up on time to get ready for the gym. Once you start getting up regularly, from around day 22 onwards it becomes a habit and you can make it to the gym regularly and on time. Apply the 21-day rule to outgrow any bad habit you have. You will surely get positive results. 

Here is a blueprint for building habits

  • Begin reinforcing your habits by writing them down. Remember, inking is better than thinking. Additionally, writing gives you clarity, restores your thoughts for future reference, and enhances your focus and concentration. Write down the progress plan and progress report for 21 days.
  • Be mentally prepared to change your habit. If you have decided to wake up early and go for a walk every day, you will need certain preparations. You have to sleep early. You will have to say “no” to late-night parties. Will will have to leave the bed on time and kill the urge to sleep a little more. Know what sacrifices a change will demand of you and be mentally prepared to go for it.
  • Ensure that your actions are recorded firmly in your subconscious mind. Go back to chapter 10 to reaffirm the power of the subconscious mind. If you tell yourself firmly while sleeping that you will get up at 5 in the morning, your subconscious mind will act as your alarm. The only task left for you now is to avoid temptations. Avoid making excuses or rationalizations. Do not let yourself off the hook. It’s all about practicing something for some time, say 21 days. Post that you will be automated into it.
  • Both time and timing matter a lot while trying to build habits. Hence, repeat your actions at a specific time every day until they become automatic. If you want to go for a walk, choose a time that works for you both in terms of your biological clock and your professional clock. If you want to go in the morning, stick to it. Don’t go for it in the morning one day and in the evening on the other day. that way you will confuse yourself. Also, your subconscious mind will not take your intention for change seriously. You will do it for a few days, then skip one day. put yourself into a system. Also, if you are to walk for 30 minutes every day, don’t think you will walk for 15 minutes today and will go for 45 minutes tomorrow. Discipline is important in achieving anything.
  • To grow any habit, it is best if you have company. For those 21 days at least, surround yourself with like-minded people who share the same vision. People and companionship work like a great motivation. We end up pursuing things when we end up meeting friends and get to spend some time together pursuing the same thing. We get to discuss the progress and plans with each other. That way we stay bound by a cause. The bond between the habit and the people extends far beyond 21 days. Hire a coach or mentor. 
  • Never expect quick outcomes. The 21 days will put only a habit in place. The habit will fetch you results over time. Be patient and consistent. Track your progress. Celebrate your success. 

“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions.It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins

To train your brain, feed inputs that you intend to strive for 21 days to build new habits. Never feed the information that you will have for a lifetime. 

Here is a list of templates to be customized as per your requirements.

  1. I want to give up smoking for 21 days. 
  2. I want to give up alcohol for 21 days. 
  3. I want to give up sweets for 21 days. 
  4. I want to quit eating junk food for 21 days. 
  5. I want to blog daily for 21 days. 
  6. I want to get up every day at 5 A.M. for 21 days. 
  7. I want to exercise every day for an hour for 21 days.

To bring out behavioral improvement, break things into small steps to enable your mind and body to avoid resistance. It boosts your sense of adequacy and helps accomplish your goals and objectives.

Start building your good habits slowly and steadily. Do not attempt to build them overnight. When you start exceedingly small, you will find an amazing outcome. For instance, when you want to exercise, do it daily for a few minutes. Once your body responds positively, increase the duration of your exercise. Avoid torturing your body by exercising heavily in the initial stage. 

Over to you!

Building habits is not an easy task. It is about your mind and your practices. It is related to your learned behavior. Habits persist for a longer time because they are automatic, and are done through your subconscious mind.  Changing your habits is possible but it requires serious effort. You need to program your subconscious mind through your conscious mind and work regularly to build your habits. 

Changing a habit is very challenging because there is a natural tendency to fight against building good habits. If changing habits were easy, everybody would shed their bad habits and embrace good habits. There is often a resistance to overcoming bad habits. It requires tremendous willpower and consistent commitment and self-discipline for 21 days to build great habits.  How long it takes to build habits depends solely on the individual. Hence, 21 days cannot be taken as the benchmark. However, it is an ideal duration for any individual striving to build good habits. Good habits bring positive behavioral changes resulting in success in your personal, professional, and social life. Give your all to adapt to them. 

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: https://www.amazon.com/See-Light-You-Spiritual-Mindfulness/dp/1949003132. He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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