Life

Just Failed? Lift Yourself Up With These 5 Encouraging Thoughts

Published

6 years ago

Mar 16, 2018

Victor Tan

Have you had a failure that made you not want to get out of bed? I’ve just come back from a public speaking contest where I was unable to make the next round. I practiced hard but was unable to come up with a satisfying message. I worked hard but it felt like my efforts were wasted.

I wanted to redeem myself immediately but knew I couldn’t. I would have to wait and live with the negative feelings for a year until the next contest. Big failures crush your self-esteem, your confidence and your drive. Your morale is depleted and you question your goals and your self-worth. Getting out of bed hurts and you don’t want to try again.

While staying in bed sounds nice, you have to get up. Even with failure stinging your heart, you have to keep moving towards the future.

Motivating yourself again is tough but here are a few things you can tell yourself to feel positive again:

1. Failure Was Bound To Happen

Everyone wants to avoid failure, but you cannot be successful without it. The road to success has a few failures, it’s unavoidable. Success is not the smooth journey people make it out to be.

Before my loss, I had been winning at other public speaking contests. I did get the feeling of invincibility, but unfortunately I knew this would not last. As much as I hate failure, it is part of life. You can’t keep succeeding without encountering failure. You were going to fail eventually. It doesn’t mean that you deliberately tried to fail, but it had to happen at some point.

“Success is measured by how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton

2. There Will Be A Second Chance

Unless you quit chasing your dreams entirely, there will always be another chance to try again. It is difficult to accept after a big failure, but deep down you know it is true. Even though I lost the contest, I knew there would be another one next year. It’s a long wait but I would be able to compete and hopefully succeed where I previously failed. Life is long enough that there are multiple opportunities to reach your goal. Things can change and you may not be facing the same landscape that you faced before, but that doesn’t mean success is gone forever.

3. There Might Be Something To Learn

As much as we like learning from our successes, our failures still have lessons they can teach us. Revisiting your failure might give you insight into why things went the way they did, and how you can stop it from happening the next time. Failed to prepare as much as you believed? Attention divided due to other issues? Underestimated the obstacles you had to overcome?

I’ve done all of these and more, which has resulted in failures that I’m not proud of. I still take a look to see what I can change next time. Looking at these mistakes and being honest with myself hurts, but it helps me learn what I can do differently. Don’t let the opportunity to learn pass you by because it’s painful to reflect. If you know there is something you can do to improve, take it as a learning experience.

4. Stop Thinking “That Should Be Me”

I should have landed that sale. I should be the one holding the trophy. I should be experiencing success instead of that person. It’s easy to fall into that line of thinking, especially if you were extremely close to succeeding. You can’t help but think you deserve success instead of failure, but this traps you in the past. It makes you reimagine your failure into success, and it feels wonderful. You want to live in that world.

It’s not a good thought to have. By believing that you should have succeeded, you’re not moving forward. Your mind will be replaying that moment, convincing you that everyone else was wrong and you were right. It’s hard to resist and you will inevitably have that thought, but success is not about thinking about what should have been. It’s about working on what could be.

5. You Are More Than Your Failures

After failing at something you put all your effort in, you can feel pathetic. You would not have failed if you were competent, if you were the person you said you were. But since you didn’t succeed, you must not be as great as you thought. Public speaking is my specialty, and I am upset when I fail. I feel that if I’m not good at my specialty, I’m a failure. If I can’t be the best speaker in the room, my entire worth as a human is non-existent.

But failing doesn’t mean you’re incompetent. Everyone fails, even the successful people you idolize. Failing doesn’t mean you’re doomed to mediocrity, it just means that you have more work to do. You have succeeded before, which means you’re not as bad as you believe. Failure is not representative of your ability. You may have to change, but you never lost your potential.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

I’ve had to live with my failures for a long time, but every time I licked my wounds and prepared myself for the next opportunity to succeed. Failure always hurts, especially if it’s big. You question your ability and your chances to succeed in the future.

The good news is, there will always be another time to succeed. Failing is part of life, it happens, but you don’t have to fail the same way twice. Learn from your failures, know that it doesn’t define your ability and get your head out of the past. You didn’t succeed today, but there’s always tomorrow.

How do you recover from failure? Comment below!

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Victor Tan

Victor Tan writes to help people overcome their weaknesses to be a better public speaker. He does this by helping people with self-improvement and teaching them proper speaking techniques. You can find him at his website, Spirit On Stage and Twitter.

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How to Combine Stoic and Minimalist Principles for Optimal Living

By embracing Stoicism’s wisdom and Minimalism’s clarity, we can create a life that is truly meaningful

Published

2 months ago

Oct 12, 2023

Dimitar Vergov

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In our fast-paced, the principles of Stoicism and Minimalism have emerged as beacons of clarity and wisdom. These philosophies, while distinct in their approaches, share a common goal: to simplify our lives and cultivate a sense of purpose and contentment.

In this article, we will explore the great impact of Stoicism and Minimalism on our lives and the transformative benefits of incorporating them into our daily lives.

The Essence of Stoicism

Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium around 300 BCE. It teaches us to focus on what we can control and accept what we cannot. At its core, Stoicism is about cultivating resilience, wisdom, and inner peace in the face of life’s challenges.

Emotional Resilience

Stoicism teaches us to acknowledge and regulate our emotions. By practicing emotional detachment and rational thinking, we can better navigate the ups and downs of life. When we understand that external events are beyond our control, we learn to channel our energy into mastering our reactions.

Living in the Present

Stoicism encourages us to live in the present moment. By letting go of regrets about the past and anxieties about the future, we find contentment in the here and now. This mindfulness fosters a deep appreciation for the simple pleasures of life.

Freedom through Simplicity

Stoicism’s emphasis on minimalism is evident in its approach to material possessions. By reducing our attachment to material things, we free ourselves from the burden of constant desire. This freedom allows us to focus on what truly matters: our character, virtues, and relationships.

“Stoicism teaches that we can’t control or rely on anything outside what Epictetus called our “reasoned choice” – our ability to use our reason to choose how we categorize, respond, and reorient ourselves to external events.” — Ryan Holiday

The Essence of Minimalism

Minimalism is a lifestyle philosophy that gained popularity in recent years. It advocates for simplifying our lives by decluttering both physical possessions and mental distractions. Minimalism is not about deprivation but rather about focusing on what adds value and meaning to our lives.

Clarity and Purpose

Minimalism helps us cut through the noise of consumerism and endless distractions. By decluttering our physical and digital spaces, we create room for clarity and purpose. We can better identify what truly matters and allocate our time and energy accordingly.

Reduced Stress and Overwhelm

In a world filled with constant stimuli, minimalism offers a refuge from the overwhelming influx of information and material possessions. Simplifying our environment and commitments reduces stress and fosters a sense of calm and tranquility.

Financial Freedom

Minimalism often leads to more mindful spending. By prioritizing needs over wants, we can save money, pay off debt, and achieve financial freedom. This financial stability provides peace of mind and opens up opportunities for experiences that enrich our lives.

The Synergy of Stoicism and Minimalism

While Stoicism and Minimalism are distinct philosophies, they complement each other beautifully, creating a powerful synergy that can transform our lives.

Cultivating Resilience

Stoicism’s emphasis on emotional resilience helps us navigate the challenges of adopting a minimalist lifestyle. When we encounter resistance to letting go of possessions or simplifying our lives, Stoic principles can guide us through the process with patience and fortitude.

Prioritizing What Truly Matters

Together, these philosophies encourage us to prioritize what truly matters in life. We learn to let go of the unnecessary distractions and material possessions that weigh us down, allowing us to focus on relationships, personal growth, and experiences that bring us joy and fulfillment.

Finding Contentment

The goal of Stoicism and Minimalism is to find contentment and inner peace. By embracing these philosophies, we can escape the cycle of constant desire and comparison that often leads to discontentment. Instead, we find contentment in the present moment and in the simplicity of our lives.

Practical Steps to Embrace Stoicism and Minimalism

Start with Self-Awareness: Reflect on your values and priorities. What truly matters to you? What possessions or distractions no longer align with these values?
Declutter Mindfully: Begin by decluttering your physical space. Donate, sell, or recycle items that no longer serve a purpose or bring you joy. Gradually extend this process to your digital life and commitments.
Practice Stoic Principles: Study Stoic philosophy and incorporate its principles into your daily life. Learn to differentiate between what’s within your control and what isn’t. Practice emotional resilience and mindfulness.
Set Minimalist Goals: Set specific minimalist goals, such as reducing your wardrobe or cutting back on digital screen time. Start small and gradually expand your minimalist practices.
Seek Support: Join minimalist or Stoic communities, both online and offline, to connect with like-minded individuals who can offer guidance and support on your journey.

The impact of Stoicism and Minimalism on our lives cannot be overstated. These philosophies guide us toward emotional resilience, simplicity, and contentment in an increasingly complex world. By embracing Stoicism’s wisdom and Minimalism’s clarity, we can create a life that is truly meaningful, purposeful, and fulfilling.

Remember that the journey toward a more Stoic and minimalist existence is a lifelong one, filled with growth and self-discovery, but the rewards are boundless—a life rich in meaning, wisdom, and inner peace.