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How You’re Destroying Your Growth and What to Do Instead

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Want to destroy all potential for your personal growth with one sentence? Here it is: That won’t work for me because…

As a former personal finance blogger and now as a productivity coach, I’ve seen this one sentence keep people from making progress on their goals over and over again. Even if you haven’t said it out loud, you’ve probably thought it. I know I have! 

The problem with this little sentence is that it instantly puts you on the defensive, fighting against change, trying to poke holes in any possible solution. Yes, your life is unique and most advice won’t work for you. But when you look for reasons why it won’t work, you miss out on what you could learn and apply. 

So the next time you’re reading a personal development book, taking an online course, looking for help on Pinterest, or listening to a TedTalk, ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. How can I make this work for me?

Your brain likes to be busy with whatever problems you give it. Instead of asking your brain to come up with reasons why something won’t work for you, set your brain to work on figuring out how you can make something work for you. 

Maybe your irregular schedule doesn’t allow you to follow the consistent daily exercise routine recommended by your trainer. Don’t dismiss the advice completely. How can you make it work for you? Think of it as customizing what you learn to support your success. 

2. What part can I take from this advice and apply to my life?

You might not be able to apply 100% of what you learn, but you could take bits and pieces to apply in your life. Imagine you’re taking a course on Pinterest marketing strategy but it’s geared more toward helping food bloggers and you have a service based business. Some of the strategies taught aren’t going to work for you. That doesn’t mean the whole course is a waste of time and money. What parts of the course can you apply to your marketing strategy? If you’re always on the lookout for nuggets of information that you can apply, you’re going to keep growing and moving forward.

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” – Stephen Covey

3. If I could make this work for me, what would that look like?

Let’s just imagine that what you’re learning could work for you. What would that look like? Sometimes we get so stuck in our current habits and routines that we think that the way we do things is permanent. Asking this question can help you reevaluate and see your life from a new perspective. 

Maybe the advice that your morning routine should include exercise, meditation, and 20 minutes of reading sounds amazing but impossible. You’ve got multiple reasons why that won’t work for you. But imagine for a minute that you could make it work for you. What would that look like? 

Maybe you would need to wake up earlier, rework your childcare support, go to bed earlier, or go into work later. Now you may not want to do some or all of those things to create that new morning routine, but by imagining what it would look like, you stretch your mind into seeing more options for your life. This puts you in control of deciding what you do and don’t want to do instead of feeling stuck in your current circumstance. 

Anytime you start thinking “That won’t work for me because…” you shut yourself off from all possible growth and learning. You miss out on the little nuggets of goodness that you could apply to your life. 

Instead, ask yourself these three questions:

  • How can I make this work for me?
  • What part can I take from this advice and apply to my life?
  • If I could make this work for me, what would that look like?

These three questions will set your brain to work on figuring out what you can apply and stretch you to see more options available to you. 

Christine White is a work-life balance coach for entrepreneurs and the creator of the Check-Boxes Planning System. She helps online entrepreneurs grow freedom-giving businesses while enjoying their beautiful lives. You can join her monthly coaching membership via her website.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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