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How to Persist and Press on When Things Aren’t Working Out for You

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Life is filled with ups and downs. And if you are on a journey to achieving the success that you want, there is no doubt you will face some setbacks, challenges, and have to go through tough times. The difference between someone successful and someone who is not is what they do when things are not working out.

Successful people choose to persist, press on, and they continue to pursue what they want. Conversely, the unsuccessful often choose to give up and quit. The saying, “A winner will never quit and a quitter will never win,” is so true. The moment you choose to give up and stop, you lose. “Don’t give up,” is easier said than done.

So what should you do to persist and press ahead when the situations seem bleak? Here are 7 suggestions:

1. Understand that Setbacks Are Necessary

First, you need to understand that setbacks are necessary. There is no way you can be successful without going through some kind of challenges. A lot of people get it wrong to think that failure is the opposite of success. In fact, failure is on the same side of success.

When you are able to persist while the rest have given up, eventually, success can be yours.

You have to understand that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. When you study the success stories of extraordinary people, you will notice that setbacks, failures, and tough times are part of the game. You just need to treat your bad days as your character-building days.

2. Ignore the Naysayers

Next, ignore the naysayers. People can say whatever they want, and you can’t control what they are going to say. But you can always choose to not listen to them and ignore their words.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that he wanted to be an actor, a lot of people told him that it was impossible for him to make it in the movie industry. Some said that his body was too bulky and some said that his name was too difficult to pronounce.

However, Schwarzenegger pressed on and chose to pursue his acting career. The rest as they say, is history. You don’t have to listen to what everyone has to say, especially those who have never created the results before.

3. Learn from the Successful

It is true that you shouldn’t listen to the naysayers, but what about other successful people? Take advice and learn from them.

When it comes to investing in the stock market, do you want to take advice from your neighbor who has never bought a stock before or do you want to take advice from Warren Buffett? You know the answer. Thus, learn from other successful people. Ask them for advice and seek their help when you need it.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

4. Never Take Your Eyes Off Your Goals

Whenever things are not working out for you, you should focus even more on your goals. You shouldn’t take your eyes off the results and rewards that you want. Like someone once said, “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

When you focus and keep on thinking about the problems, the setbacks, and the challenges, your fear will grow and stop you from moving forward. Hence, put your focus on your goals.

Always choose to think about the rewards and the results. After all, your goals are the main reason you started the journey in the first place. So when you are in doubt, think about your goals.

5. Remember Your Purpose

Napoleon Hill, the famous author of the classic success book, Think and Grow Rich, wrote in the book, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” In other words, it is your purpose that propels you into taking action.

When your purpose is weak, your desire will be weak too. You have to understand that what drives you in the first place is your purpose. Therefore, remind yourself of why you want to do it when things are not working out for you. It is your purpose that keeps you going.

Most people give up when the tough time comes because they don’t have a strong enough reason that compels them to move on. When you have a strong and powerful reason to act, you will be committed and never give up no matter what happens.

6. Learn from Your Experience

So what do you need to do when things are not working out? One way to get ahead when everything seems bleak is to learn from your experience. Take time to understand why things are not working out for you. Is it that what you do is wrong? Is your strategy not working? Should you try one more time?

You have to use the feedback that you get and improve your method. Remember, success comes from good judgment. And good judgment comes from experience. But how do you gain experience? From the failures, setbacks, and challenges that you have gone through.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

7. Take One Small Step

The key to making progress is to always be in action. Whenever you find that things are not working out, you just need to take one more step. Even if it is just a small step, do it. After all, success is the accumulation of small victories that you accomplish day-in and day-out.

Thus, when you are taking action and do just one small thing, you are making progress. More importantly, you are building the momentum you need for the big success that you desire.

You just have to begin. Ask yourself what is the one small thing you can do to move forward to your goal. You will most likely have to try more than once to succeed. It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop.

If you take a sharp ax and swing it at a large tree, eventually, the tree will have to come down no matter how big it is. The key to persist and press on is to keep taking action. Somehow, if you keep moving, you will reach somewhere.

Which one of the above perseverance suggestions resonated with you most and why?

Shawn Lim is the creator of StunningMotivation.com (https://StunningMotivation.com) and he’s a passionate blogger in the personal development industry who has inspired thousands to pursue their dreams and follow their passions. You can learn more about him plus download a free copy of his guidebook, Reach Your Goals on his website.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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